No longer sure about it all?

[missmuffet]

On 9/27/2022 at 6:49 AM, JED said:

Hi Guys,

I haven't been on here for a long time but here goes.

I've been a Christian for maybe 20 years. Married quite young and have 2 children.  Last year unfortunately we separated and divorced. We are both Christians.

I never thought for one second that we would ever not be together, but it seems that we grew apart over the years.  I wanted to keep the marriage together but she said it was not an option and that we would be better separating.  100% no infidelity involved.

The children are great and we are both getting along pretty well most of the time which makes things easier.

Since then I've not attended church very much as this has really affected me.  I'm really unsure about the Christian faith in general now and even wondering if God is even there?  I haven't missed not going to church at all and must admit that I have ventured into some things that as a Christian I shouldn't do.........but life is never black and white and I'm almost at the point in thinking well let's just do what I enjoy as long as no one gets hurt.

I'm a long way from where a Christian should be but trying to wrestle with this all.  I would still say that I live my life in a good way and most people would still say I'm a Christian.

Not sure what anyone can say in this situation really but I would really like some words of wisdom.

 

I am sorry that you and your wife have separated. Did you legally separate or did you divorce? There is a difference. A born again Christian would come closer to God during a stressful and difficult time like this. God is with you in times of trouble and He wants to help you. I would say that you should pray to God and ask Him into your life to be your Lord and Savior. That you would ask Him to open your heart to Him and ask for forgiveness. We need God everyday and especially when we are going through difficult times. 

[NCAP]

I want to say one more thing...

 

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me..." (John 14:1)

 

When things seem to be falling apart in our lives, what events took place and what has happened may leave a person with feelings of uncertainty about anything and everything.

 

Take, for example, Hurricane Ian that just hit Southwest Florida. Imagine just before that event that your wife decided to divorce you and has left. And on top of that, you were just involved in an auto accident that left you unharmed but without a vehicle because it was totaled. Then along comes Hurricane Ian that removed the roof from your home. See what I'm driving at?

 

A series of events or even one event can leave a person with feelings of uncertainty and doubt about anything and everything concerning the "now" and the "future".

 

So, maybe that is what you have to understand. You feel the way you do because things are not as stable as they once were. Things are changing and coping with change can be difficult for some people.

 

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (1 Corinthians 1:3,4 ESV)

[JED]

5 hours ago, missmuffet said:

I am sorry that you and your wife have separated. Did you legally separate or did you divorce? There is a difference. A born again Christian would come closer to God during a stressful and difficult time like this. God is with you in times of trouble and He wants to help you. I would say that you should pray to God and ask Him into your life to be your Lord and Savior. That you would ask Him to open your heart to Him and ask for forgiveness. We need God everyday and especially when we are going through difficult times. 

Divorced.

[JohnD]

On 9/27/2022 at 8:49 AM, JED said:

Hi Guys,

I haven't been on here for a long time but here goes.

I've been a Christian for maybe 20 years. Married quite young and have 2 children.  Last year unfortunately we separated and divorced. We are both Christians.

I never thought for one second that we would ever not be together, but it seems that we grew apart over the years.  I wanted to keep the marriage together but she said it was not an option and that we would be better separating.  100% no infidelity involved.

The children are great and we are both getting along pretty well most of the time which makes things easier.

Since then I've not attended church very much as this has really affected me.  I'm really unsure about the Christian faith in general now and even wondering if God is even there?  I haven't missed not going to church at all and must admit that I have ventured into some things that as a Christian I shouldn't do.........but life is never black and white and I'm almost at the point in thinking well let's just do what I enjoy as long as no one gets hurt.

I'm a long way from where a Christian should be but trying to wrestle with this all.  I would still say that I live my life in a good way and most people would still say I'm a Christian.

Not sure what anyone can say in this situation really but I would really like some words of wisdom.

 

Sorry I did not see this sooner, JED. I see your last visit here was October 13th... so you may not return to even read this.

But on the off chance that you do...

It's hard sometimes not to allow circumstances govern our faith. Especially when tragedy occurs.

We rarely ask "Why, God?" when things are going well.

And when things are not so great, we tend to blame God (or doubt he cares or even exists).

I think of the poem footprints in the sand where it is said God will never leave us, and we notice that behind us there were two sets of footprints in the sand except at times there were only one set of footprints in the sand. We question how could God leave us? His answer: the times there were only one set of footprints in the sand were when I carried you.

Sorry for the poor rendition of the poem.

You also must discern a relationship with God from the trappings and traditions of Church attendance.

Best case scenario, it is a spiritual education center / hospital for the soul and community for fellowship / bulletin board to help others.

It is not the be all / end all of Christianity. Your relationship with Christ is.

Christians stray. But you cannot escape God once you are his (Jeremiah 32:40 / John 10:27-29 / 1 Corinthians 5:5).

If you can walk away from Christ, you were never his in the first place (1 John 2:19).

If you never were his to begin with, I adjure you to consider eternity and where you will be after this life. Do not be so consumed with this life that you cannot make good choices about how and where you will spend forever after this life.

And despite the general thinking to the contrary, the simple Gospel is to believe in the Son of God who died for our sins and rose to life eternal 3 days later. That's it. That's all that is required of you to be genuinely his.

John 3:16–18 (KJV)
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Ephesians 2:8–10 (KJV)
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

John 6:29 (KJV)
29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

John 16:27 (KJV)
27 For the Father himself loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came out from God.

Mike Macintosh was in his youth a nominal believer who got off into surfing and drugs etc. and lost his wife and children to his addictions. Then one Sunday he wandered in off the beach to a Calvary Chapel service in Costa Mesa, California... so mindless and burned out from being stoned that he just sat cross legged on the floor in the center aisle. Pastor Chuck Smith kept right on teaching the Word as an usher came to Macintosh and sat beside him on the floor for the remainder of the service.

God restored Mike to his senses and cured his addiction. He grew in the Calvary Chapel system and became a Pastor and started Horizon Christian Fellowship in San Diego: a mega Church which has several campuses and out-spurt  Churches (including the Rock Church / Pastor Miles McPherson). But the point I wanted to share with you is that back in his days at Calvary Chapel, God restored Macintosh's marriage and family to him.

God may or may not do so with you.

There are two people involved here both with the ability to make choices.

That's what is so special about marriages that last or regenerate. Two individuals (both with fallen sin natures) trying to make one good life together. 

So many things pull people apart (especially in marriage) these days.  And there are times when we can only reason that the commitment to our marriage is the only reason we hang on to it. Human nature is by far its own worst enemy. The devil is God's enemy. And he hammers us to get at God. But he doesn't have to work very hard at it because we are evil by nature. The loving, saving Grace of Christ is really all we have going for us.