believeinHim Posted October 17, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 434 Topics Per Day: 0.28 Content Count: 3,226 Content Per Day: 2.07 Reputation: 416 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/06/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted October 17, 2023 (edited) I am not happy. I am not comfortable in public spaces. When I am in public spaces, I do not want to be seen. I am uncomfortable with worrying about what anything looks like except my face. If more of my face is showing, I am uncomfortable in immodest or frumpy or ugly or flashy clothes. I am uncomfortable with bling, and drawing attention to myself. I have incredibly limited resources, and I am not happy having the burden of having to provide for myself on my shoulders. I have no males in my family who are willing to provide for me, Outside of my father's home, in a mutually and reciprocated relationship. My father's home comes with compromised, and loud noises. I do not like loud noises. I hate even worse the sound of outsiders people who are not from a church, and who are not my immediate family. I am uncomfortable in public, I don't want to be seen in public, I am unhappy with my own finances, and I want my immediate family, and my husband. I do not have a husband. Being stared out by good looking men when I am out in public is an added trigger, and an added stressor. Yet, I am still too embarrassed to do anything about it. I also do not have the finances to do anything until next month. The tablet I am on is limited, which I enjoy. I enjoy having limited access to the world outside of my parent's home. I need guidance, and prayers, on what to do going forward. Right now I am pretty much at a stand still until next month. I can not even afford to buy anything for bugs, so I can sit outside on the patio. I may be able to, but I have to get it approved by my mom first. I would like to wait a little, but that means I have to put up with loud noises for longer. I am unhappy, and I want to try a lectin free diet. I am unhappy trying to research all of that, and unhappy I did not discover it sooner. I am in the process of trying to retain information about a lectin free diet. It's a lot of work, and I have to wait for two more weeks before I can really start anything with it. I have food, but it is all processed, lectin filled, soybean filled, wheat flour, etc, it's all of that stuff. I am unhappy and feel like I can't eat anything. I am unhappy. I am unhappy with American life. ;( ;( Edited October 17, 2023 by believeinHim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted October 18, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,302 Content Per Day: 1.71 Reputation: 1,686 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted October 18, 2023 I am sorry you feel unhappy, all I can suggest is you seek help from your church minister. He may know of someone who can talk with you about your feelings. Other than that try looking away from yourself and your feelings and look at and pray about situations in the world, as well as looking at what you have in Jesus. Too much self awareness always leads to self consciousness so try praying for the persecuted church, the suffering in garda etc etc etc. I will pray that you become more aware of Jesus and far less aware of your self and your perceived short comings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FJK Posted October 18, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 43 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,349 Content Per Day: 7.61 Reputation: 1,305 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/01/2023 Status: Offline Share Posted October 18, 2023 You talk about being unhappy, but you don't talk about what you want that would make you happy and bring fulfillment to your life. What do you want? What do you want your life to be, to stand for? Have you ever given thought to what kind of life you can see yourself living that would be right for You without worrying about what you think might be expected of you by others? It helps to actually write this down, get out a pencil and paper and start writing down statements "I would be happy doing (fill in the blank)", do this over and over till you find something that actually starts appealing to you more than just escaping from where you are now and avoiding things you don't want. Then do this: Change one thing about the routine of your life today, one thing about your daily routine or surroundings that would lead you to live your life just a little tiny bit differently than you have been. Make it a small but meaningful thing and not a large one, small little changes are easily done and have much more power in your life than you would expect. (An example of this, not something I'm specifically recommending to you, might be as simple as making the bed as soon as you get out of it instead of putting it off till later) Change one thing, change all things. Don't think about it, just do it. That's all I have to offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted November 5, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,302 Content Per Day: 1.71 Reputation: 1,686 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted November 5, 2023 On 10/17/2023 at 11:24 AM, believeinHim said: I am not happy. I am not comfortable in public spaces. When I am in public spaces, I do not want to be seen You have posted lamenting the absence of a husband. If you want a husband you have to be out in public, being seen and being talked to/talking to strange men. Hiding because of imaginary fears does not cause those fears to depart, face them, learn that while it is scary to walk into a public space, those fears are imaginary, that you can survive out in the world, that people looking at you does not kill you. I'm not trying to make fun of your fears, to you they are real, but if you want a husband you have to leave the shelter of your house and move about where other people are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted November 5, 2023 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 962 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,713 Content Per Day: 5.05 Reputation: 9,111 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted November 5, 2023 On 10/18/2023 at 7:54 AM, FJK said: You talk about being unhappy, but you don't talk about what you want that would make you happy and bring fulfillment to your life. What do you want? What do you want your life to be, to stand for? Have you ever given thought to what kind of life you can see yourself living that would be right for You without worrying about what you think might be expected of you by others? It helps to actually write this down, get out a pencil and paper and start writing down statements "I would be happy doing (fill in the blank)", do this over and over till you find something that actually starts appealing to you more than just escaping from where you are now and avoiding things you don't want. Then do this: Change one thing about the routine of your life today, one thing about your daily routine or surroundings that would lead you to live your life just a little tiny bit differently than you have been. Make it a small but meaningful thing and not a large one, small little changes are easily done and have much more power in your life than you would expect. (An example of this, not something I'm specifically recommending to you, might be as simple as making the bed as soon as you get out of it instead of putting it off till later) Change one thing, change all things. Don't think about it, just do it. That's all I have to offer. If you are to seek happiness it will not be found in things gained, it will be found in making others happy. In your case concentrate on doing all that you can to make your mother happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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