Lasere Posted April 14, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 39 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/18/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2006 I am putting this out there because I need to get it off my chest and am interested in a Christian perspective. I have been on anti-depressants for over 10 years. I turn 36 soon and I feel that my life is passing me by and I am numb to emotions and feelings and find it very hard to open up to people or relate to them. I started taking them many years ago before I became a Christian because I was very ill and pressured into having an abortion. Afterwards, I felt like a murderer and could not bear the grief so I went on them. The depression was in remission after being a born-again Christian for several years but since I was in a car pile up it has been worse. The point is that since I have been taking medication I have been a zombie emotionally and have not done any painting. My painting and art before I took medication was brilliant and people were in awe. Since I am on medication I have no artistic desires or desires to pursue friendships, realtionships. It seems to me that the very act of taking medication removes the very desires to do the things necessary to have control of my life, have satisfaction and therefore any level of joy. I have decided to stop traking the medication slowly ween myself off it. I want to wake from this dream state of misery and be me again. Spare a prayer for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindydiane Posted April 14, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 8 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/31/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2006 Lasere, Praying for you!! cindydiane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carant2000_2001 Posted April 18, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 145 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/30/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/12/1957 Share Posted April 18, 2006 i will be praying that God will give you the strength you need to overcome the depression and he will, call on his name, we can do all things through Christ you are Gods child,and the devil is a liar remember that. in Christ, carolyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CellShade Posted April 19, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 27 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 397 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/22/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted April 19, 2006 Best wishes and prayers to you. I took medication for depression (not suicidal state) and anxiety like 1 or 2 years ago, the fact that it would make me feel kind of more depressed and the fact that I think it took 1 year of my life makes me hate it. I have noot taking medication for a year almost or more, and I have changed a lot, my depression has gone out almost completly, if not when I get depressed is for normal human things that can depress anybody. My anxiety well still there, but it never bothered me, for some reason anxiety and my hyper active things really is things I don't want to let go off, anyway. I still think slowing the doze will be a good start. Besides 10 years for a medicine is too much, besides now, God will help you out, and even if you had the abortion, your soul got cleaned by The Holy Blood of Christ. So you shall not live in your previus years and live in the rejoice of Jesus Christ, my best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepherdsgrace Posted April 19, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 880 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/28/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted April 19, 2006 One thing you need to consider. To come off meds after this many years you need to be willing to deal with issues in your life, past and present. That is what life is all about. We all have to deal with pain, grief, sorrow, regret, sin, etc. As you come off your meds your emotions are going to have to dealt with rather than controled by an outside influence. Can be tough and rough but well worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid Posted April 19, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,390 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted April 19, 2006 Dear Lasere, I believe that counceling and prayers will help you greatly. I dont know of med or not, but meanwhile, I do know that we need toconfront and accept our feelings ,allow our feelings, cry and also trust GOd for HIS promises, your beloved IS IN HEAVEN! and awaits with deep love for you one day for a forever life! (((Lasere))) There is specific councelling for this very situation and Christian books I have seen,too. I pray for you to contact about this. although the sadness may be there, the intense depression can be totally healedi nCHrist!!! write me anytime I am praying for you and i care! You will have joy again in Christ!!!! Love in Christ and prayers, elkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasere Posted April 19, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 39 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/18/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 thankyou elkie I appreciate that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjrose Posted April 20, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,580 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/13/1960 Share Posted April 20, 2006 I am putting this out there because I need to get it off my chest and am interested in a Christian perspective. I have been on anti-depressants for over 10 years. I turn 36 soon and I feel that my life is passing me by and I am numb to emotions and feelings and find it very hard to open up to people or relate to them. I started taking them many years ago before I became a Christian because I was very ill and pressured into having an abortion. Afterwards, I felt like a murderer and could not bear the grief so I went on them. The depression was in remission after being a born-again Christian for several years but since I was in a car pile up it has been worse. The point is that since I have been taking medication I have been a zombie emotionally and have not done any painting. My painting and art before I took medication was brilliant and people were in awe. Since I am on medication I have no artistic desires or desires to pursue friendships, realtionships. It seems to me that the very act of taking medication removes the very desires to do the things necessary to have control of my life, have satisfaction and therefore any level of joy. I have decided to stop traking the medication slowly ween myself off it. I want to wake from this dream state of misery and be me again. Spare a prayer for me. I can relate to your dilema. Firstly, let me say that you should be very careful about going off your medication even if you are weening yourself off of it. For one thing, our bodies, some of us, have a chemical imbalance and need the medication to balance out the chemicals we need that make us feel normal. I totally understand that numb feeling you may experience while on the medication and it is a side effect. But if this medication you are taking does not allow you to "feel" then it may not be the right med for you. Talk to your doctor about trying something new and experiment until you get it right. Sometimes the imbalance is corrected after a period of time and sometimes we need to be on the meds all our life. It's a matter of finding the right one and they are always coming out with new ones but all medications have side effects. But I would rather have the side effects than be depressed. It can be very dangerous to be depressed. Remember also that God loves you. He has forgiven you for your sins if you repent. Your guilt is something you need to talk to someone about. Therapy in combination with your medication will help you. You also need to forgive yourself which is the hardest thing to do. It takes work on our part to get through the past but Jesus died for our sins, past, present and future. Be kind to yourself and know that your baby is with God. Please don't beat yourself up about it and make the decision today to attempt to learn to forgive yourself. As far as your artistic desires, that's the depression that keeps you from your inspiration. If you have talent to create, remember that and just start doing it again. We need to sometimes push ourselves into doing what we remember we loved to do. Once you get there, you'll understand what I am saying. Also, you may want to think about giving back your experience with your abortion by volunteering at a place that supports pregnancy. I only know this because I had one also and now I volunteer at Birthright as a counselor and a supporter of new pregnant women who are on the fence about having the baby or aborting it. Our position is to get as many babies born as possible and to offer alternatives to abortion and to let these women know that there is help and a great support system out there for them. I'm so sorry you were pressured into making a decision that affects the rest of your life but your experience can and will help someone else. You have a lot to offer and remember that God loves you and so do your brothers and sisters here at Worthy. Bible study is a great avenue to become more spiritual and perhaps find the answers you are looking for as well as your personal prayer to Jesus. And I will pray for you also that you find the right path and you will find it rewarding to help yourself learn to forgive yourself and tap into to your talent and the path that God has planned for you. God Bless you and I hope this helps, Cjrose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seraphimbride Posted April 20, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 39 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/20/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted April 20, 2006 I agree with cjrose. I've been on an antidepressant for about 5 years-for different reasons. Pain from fibromyalgia. I do know one thing, though. The medication you're taking is not working for you. You could be experiencing side effects, or maybe it's time for an adjustment. i've had to have mine adjusted 4-5 times since I've been taking it. Also. it sound like unresolved issues need to be resolved for you to ever feel "right". I hope that you have asked God for firgiveness, but it's just as important for you to forgive yourself. What's done is done. With forgiveness you can wipe the slate clean. No sadness, worry, or fear, will ever change what has been done. The only thing that can change is the way you react to the event. Please know that I will never judge you. I pray for you to feel the unfathomable love and infinite mercy God has for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix Posted April 20, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 397 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted April 20, 2006 Hello Lasere, I am with you in this. I have also been concerned about Medication. Perhaps not as concerned as you are. But I am with you on "taking control of my life". I also need help. I was diagnosed with ADD last year. It's not clear to me yet what the Lord's will is concerning my ADD and medication. One thing for sure though I feel that I am not in control. I know what you mean Lasere when you mention the lack of desire to pursue your artistic talent. On medication I am less creative and I think a lot less. It keeps me from thinking too much yet this keeps me from getting more ideas as well. I'm not sure if that is always a good trade. It is not to say I have been in control without medicine...I was actually worse as we know the characteristics of ADD. But I'm not sure if I'm getting any better taking it. One thing that is hindering me is that I dont like what it may be doing...that is I am losing my thoughts and ideas. Even though I am more productive with it (ie...finishing homework, getting chores around the home done), I may be losing thoughts (ie...better ways to do things, innovative ideas, what and how this bible verse applies...). What is popping out to me is "Taking back control of my life". This speaks to me as this is exactly the problem I am facing. I know I am not running in my Christian walk right now. I know that I am falling asleep in my spirit. I think I am speaking out of my guilt as I know I have failed terribly in many things before the Lord. Brothers and sisters...Lift me up in prayers as well. Lasere, I will remember you as I face these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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