a life

[Guest jckduboise]

She grew up in the mountains of Montana with 7 siblings and a mother who believed so much in the spiritual that all claimed she was crazy. She came from a poor family who barely had a meal a day and when the chance came for her to escape she married the first man who asked. She was an innocent in all aspects and never knew what was in store for her.

She was 18 years old and pregnant with her first child the year was 1966. She and her husband lived in a tiny motel room and he would leave her at night to go out and be intimate with other women. Sometimes she had a hot meal, sometimes no meal that day at all. So alone she would stay and cry and pray for the Lord to deliver her from this trial.

On one winter night of 1966 the usual evening in occurance, she watched a little TV alone and went to bed afraid, hungry and cold. She fell into a deep sleep and said that she felt as if she had been sleeping for hours when she was wakened by something in her room. She opened her eyes and standing before her was a figure that was shrouded in soft light. She could see everything in the room as if it were daylight, but it was not. She looked at this angel and as she looked on, the angel stretched out it's arms toward her and soft, warm fingers of light covered her from head to foot. She could feel the warmth everywhere on her body but the most intense of the warmth was centered on her womb. She does not know how long the angel was there because she fell back into a deep sleep and woke the next morning feeling a comfort she had never felt in all of her life.

On February 8 1967 I was born.

[Swarna Jha]

She grew up in the mountains of Montana with 7 siblings and a mother who believed so much in the spiritual that all claimed she was crazy. She came from a poor family who barely had a meal a day and when the chance came for her to escape she married the first man who asked. She was an innocent in all aspects and never knew what was in store for her.

She was 18 years old and pregnant with her first child the year was 1966. She and her husband lived in a tiny motel room and he would leave her at night to go out and be intimate with other women. Sometimes she had a hot meal, sometimes no meal that day at all. So alone she would stay and cry and pray for the Lord to deliver her from this trial.

On one winter night of 1966 the usual evening in occurance, she watched a little TV alone and went to bed afraid, hungry and cold. She fell into a deep sleep and said that she felt as if she had been sleeping for hours when she was wakened by something in her room. She opened her eyes and standing before her was a figure that was shrouded in soft light. She could see everything in the room as if it were daylight, but it was not. She looked at this angel and as she looked on, the angel stretched out it's arms toward her and soft, warm fingers of light covered her from head to foot. She could feel the warmth everywhere on her body but the most intense of the warmth was centered on her womb. She does not know how long the angel was there because she fell back into a deep sleep and woke the next morning feeling a comfort she had never felt in all of her life.

On February 8 1967 I was born.

Jackie, this is so very beautiful, enough to make one weep. Thanks for sharing. God was there Jackie, God was there!

I was born in 1953, the third female child in a row. A brother born years before me had died of small pox. My grandmother was in a state of shock to hear that a third girl child was born. She sat in the pitch dark, would not even switch the lights on. She cooked no food, but sat lamenting and mourning. She commanded her son, (my father) to throw me in the well.

My father who had imbibed the things that were good during the British Raj in India, refused point blank.

He was not going to be guided by 'cultural shame'.

My Aunt who lived in Northern Ireland, told me this story more elaborately years later. After me, my mother gave birth to four sons, so now I was considered 'lucky'.

When I first believed in our Lord Jesus Christ in 1989 ( a shock to my hindu family), I asked the Lord about my physical birth, He showed me vividly that He was there. All the years of rejection I had carried with me fled, just knowing that He was there.

And it is well with my soul...........

Thank you for sharing Jackie. It has ministered to me. God bless you abundantly.

your sister in Christ

Swarna

[Guest jckduboise]

Swarna Jha,

He made us all fearfully and wonderfully in our mother's womb.

When I was pregnant with my daughter who is the last child I was to have of 3 children and I was so strung out on drugs(the 2 boys that I had bore were taken by their father years before while they were still so young, my oldest 3 and my youngest just over 1yr I was not doing drugs when he took them but when he did I just drown in cocaine. I tried to take my life 3 different times and each time I was not successfull)I would feel her move inside of me and I would weep for I knew that my desire to use drugs was so much greater than my desire to take care of the blessing I had been given. I begged and pleaded for God to take her because I could not stand what I was doing and I knew I surely didn't deserve another chance to be a mother.

Well one night, the Lord placed her on my chest, I was in the 5th month of pregnancy, it was September. She was so tiny, but yet so alive. I could feel her heart beat and feel the warmth of her body. I could smell her! And I wrapped my arms around the child that was still in my womb but there laying on my chest and I loved her and I kissed the top of her head and then I told her, "okay it is not time for you so you have to back now"..I went back to sleep and in the morning I knew that I would have her. That the Lord was not going to take her from me. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened had I not told her to return to her home, my womb.

I never had a child I didn't want. But for reasons unknown to me the Lord had other plans for the life I was going to have. I am NOT saying that God wanted me to become a drug addict but He had (has) plans for me that are beyond my knowledge. And so the life I have is the life He gave.

We live with pain and suffering so that we may learn compassion for others. If I have not walked a mile in the shoes of the sufferer how will I ever be able to minister the LOVE that God IS or the LOVE for those who do not know Him yet.

I am clean today because God delivered me from that life and the gratitude and the love I have for our Father because He loved me first is great.

[Swarna Jha]

Swarna Jha,

He made us all fearfully and wonderfully in our mother's womb.

When I was pregnant with my daughter who is the last child I was to have of 3 children and I was so strung out on drugs(the 2 boys that I had bore were taken by their father years before while they were still so young, my oldest 3 and my youngest just over 1yr I was not doing drugs when he took them but when he did I just drown in cocaine. I tried to take my life 3 different times and each time I was not successfull)I would feel her move inside of me and I would weep for I knew that my desire to use drugs was so much greater than my desire to take care of the blessing I had been given. I begged and pleaded for God to take her because I could not stand what I was doing and I knew I surely didn't deserve another chance to be a mother.

Well one night, the Lord placed her on my chest, I was in the 5th month of pregnancy, it was September. She was so tiny, but yet so alive. I could feel her heart beat and feel the warmth of her body. I could smell her! And I wrapped my arms around the child that was still in my womb but there laying on my chest and I loved her and I kissed the top of her head and then I told her, "okay it is not time for you so you have to back now"..I went back to sleep and in the morning I knew that I would have her. That the Lord was not going to take her from me. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened had I not told her to return to her home, my womb.

I never had a child I didn't want. But for reasons unknown to me the Lord had other plans for the life I was going to have. I am NOT saying that God wanted me to become a drug addict but He had (has) plans for me that are beyond my knowledge. And so the life I have is the life He gave.

We live with pain and suffering so that we may learn compassion for others. If I have not walked a mile in the shoes of the sufferer how will I ever be able to minister the LOVE that God IS or the LOVE for those who do not know Him yet.

I am clean today because God delivered me from that life and the gratitude and the love I have for our Father because He loved me first is great.

Yes Amen. Thank you Jackie.

Jackie, God has done a wonderful work in you. That's why you can minister to others. I just feel like singing " O the Blood of Jesus, it washes white as snow."

Psalm 75:1b For Your wondrous works declare that your name is near.

What a Mighty God we serve.

your sister in Christ

Swarna

[Openly Curious]

Hello jckduboise

What a wonder you are. I find myself drawn unto your post and when I read through them I can even feel when you are highstrung and when the spirit is gentle moving within your soul from the gentleness of your words and humbleness of your soul as you share from your heart openly. Perhaps that is why i feel drawn unto you like a magnet for some reason.

For their is a freshness and a pureness that you possess.

For I to did drugs and drank alcohol excessively in order to dull the deep and dark pain in my own heart. I had even gotten to the point of shooting up in fact. And I drank vodka on a daily basis even to this day I no longer can drink orange juice it turns my stomach. I have been set free from drugs and alcohol and have been free from their use for some time now the enemy still comes to tempt me to return and use them again as a coping devise and I get tempted but I know it not the answer.

But living in reality is alot better. Our own sufferings in this life does make us feel so for others though we still hurt ourselves. But it can make us able ministers of the spirit of God unto others. I noticed you posted this in the prophecy section so let me put some prophecy in her for us. If you will receive it I believe it is to you.

Revelation 22:1-5

And He showed me a pure river of the water of life clear as crystal proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb In the midst of the street of it and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life which bare twelve manner of fruits and yielded her fruit every month and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations And there shall be no more curse but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it and his servants shall serve him. And they shall see his face and his name shall be in their foreheads. And there shall be no night there and they need no candle neither light of sun for the Lord God giveth them light and they shall reign for ever and ever.

For you have a pure river flowing from you and it very plain for others to see and feel and it brings healing to those unto whom it flows as God has given you his light in order for others to see it and recieve from what flows from the throne of your heart that you have surrendered unto Christ. And as you let that pure river of the water of life flow through your life it will bring healing to those about you.

And one day jckduboise if we can but hold on we shall see God and be forever relieved of our own pain and sufferings in this life hold onto this may God bless you abundantly your sister in Christ

Openly Curious

[Guest jckduboise]

Hello jckduboise

What a wonder you are. I find myself drawn unto your post and when I read through them I can even feel when you are highstrung and when the spirit is gentle moving within your soul from the gentleness of your words and humbleness of your soul as you share from your heart openly. Perhaps that is why i feel drawn unto you like a magnet for some reason.

For their is a freshness and a pureness that you possess.

For I to did drugs and drank alcohol excessively in order to dull the deep and dark pain in my own heart. I had even gotten to the point of shooting up in fact. And I drank vodka on a daily basis even to this day I no longer can drink orange juice it turns my stomach. I have been set free from drugs and alcohol and have been free from their use for some time now the enemy still comes to tempt me to return and use them again as a coping devise and I get tempted but I know it not the answer.

But living in reality is alot better. Our own sufferings in this life does make us feel so for others though we still hurt ourselves. But it can make us able ministers of the spirit of God unto others. I noticed you posted this in the prophecy section so let me put some prophecy in her for us. If you will receive it I believe it is to you.

Revelation 22:1-5

And He showed me a pure river of the water of life clear as crystal proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb In the midst of the street of it and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life which bare twelve manner of fruits and yielded her fruit every month and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations And there shall be no more curse but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it and his servants shall serve him. And they shall see his face and his name shall be in their foreheads. And there shall be no night there and they need no candle neither light of sun for the Lord God giveth them light and they shall reign for ever and ever.

For you have a pure river flowing from you and it very plain for others to see and feel and it brings healing to those unto whom it flows as God has given you his light in order for others to see it and recieve from what flows from the throne of your heart that you have surrendered unto Christ. And as you let that pure river of the water of life flow through your life it will bring healing to those about you.

And one day jckduboise if we can but hold on we shall see God and be forever relieved of our own pain and sufferings in this life hold onto this may God bless you abundantly your sister in Christ

Openly Curious

And you and I shall live in His Love forever and ever together. Amen and amen.

God Bless your sweet and tender soul Openly Curious.

I love your heart.

[buckthesystem]

She grew up in the mountains of Montana with 7 siblings and a mother who believed so much in the spiritual that all claimed she was crazy. She came from a poor family who barely had a meal a day and when the chance came for her to escape she married the first man who asked. She was an innocent in all aspects and never knew what was in store for her.

She was 18 years old and pregnant with her first child the year was 1966. She and her husband lived in a tiny motel room and he would leave her at night to go out and be intimate with other women. Sometimes she had a hot meal, sometimes no meal that day at all. So alone she would stay and cry and pray for the Lord to deliver her from this trial.

On one winter night of 1966 the usual evening in occurance, she watched a little TV alone and went to bed afraid, hungry and cold. She fell into a deep sleep and said that she felt as if she had been sleeping for hours when she was wakened by something in her room. She opened her eyes and standing before her was a figure that was shrouded in soft light. She could see everything in the room as if it were daylight, but it was not. She looked at this angel and as she looked on, the angel stretched out it's arms toward her and soft, warm fingers of light covered her from head to foot. She could feel the warmth everywhere on her body but the most intense of the warmth was centered on her womb. She does not know how long the angel was there because she fell back into a deep sleep and woke the next morning feeling a comfort she had never felt in all of her life.

On February 8 1967 I was born.

This is such a lovely story and I did so like reading it. You seem, obviously, to be destined to live your life for God and witness to others.

But what happened to your mother? Did they make the marriage work even though your father seemingly was cheating on her?

Did they get a better place to live? And work, so that they could have more food and care for the baby (you)?

Not being nosey or doubting in any way. Just really curious. I find I have to know all the details.

[Guest jckduboise]

She grew up in the mountains of Montana with 7 siblings and a mother who believed so much in the spiritual that all claimed she was crazy. She came from a poor family who barely had a meal a day and when the chance came for her to escape she married the first man who asked. She was an innocent in all aspects and never knew what was in store for her.

She was 18 years old and pregnant with her first child the year was 1966. She and her husband lived in a tiny motel room and he would leave her at night to go out and be intimate with other women. Sometimes she had a hot meal, sometimes no meal that day at all. So alone she would stay and cry and pray for the Lord to deliver her from this trial.

On one winter night of 1966 the usual evening in occurance, she watched a little TV alone and went to bed afraid, hungry and cold. She fell into a deep sleep and said that she felt as if she had been sleeping for hours when she was wakened by something in her room. She opened her eyes and standing before her was a figure that was shrouded in soft light. She could see everything in the room as if it were daylight, but it was not. She looked at this angel and as she looked on, the angel stretched out it's arms toward her and soft, warm fingers of light covered her from head to foot. She could feel the warmth everywhere on her body but the most intense of the warmth was centered on her womb. She does not know how long the angel was there because she fell back into a deep sleep and woke the next morning feeling a comfort she had never felt in all of her life.

On February 8 1967 I was born.

This is such a lovely story and I did so like reading it. You seem, obviously, to be destined to live your life for God and witness to others.

But what happened to your mother? Did they make the marriage work even though your father seemingly was cheating on her?

Did they get a better place to live? And work, so that they could have more food and care for the baby (you)?

Not being nosey or doubting in any way. Just really curious. I find I have to know all the details.

My mother married two other times. Of her 3 husbands not one took care of her or us. They were all alcoholic and one died in a drunk driving accident.

As for my mother. When I was 7 my mother got her LPN license and has worked as a Geriatric Nurse for the past 32 years. She and I have a wonderful relationship together and live in the same house. I am single as is she. She has been single since 1982 and has no desire to walk into another abusive alcoholic induced relationship. She gives all of the glory of her survival to the Lord and there are times when she encourages me to stay focused on Him and there are times when the role is reversed.

We have all been taken care of by God and have weathered the storms together.

I have 3 beautiful sisters. All 3 of my sisters are married and my youngest sister is waiting to have her first child.

God moved in mighty ways to bring us all forth. And here we are. We live through good and hard times, we stick together and support one another.

It has not been a fairy tail but it has been quite a journey. One that seems to be in just the beginning stages.

More details will come if you would like. Just ask the question, I have nothing to hide.

God Bless you.

[Brandli5]

What a wonderful thread.

Great people on this site.

ITs a great blessing to know God works in so many peoples lives.

I was a mother at 17, baby born when I was 18. To this day she has been a blessing. God can take something that seems so bad, and bless it and make everything wonderful with his grace.

We have a great wonderful GOD!

THanks for sharing your lives.

[Guest jckduboise]

She grew up in the mountains of Montana with 7 siblings and a mother who believed so much in the spiritual that all claimed she was crazy. She came from a poor family who barely had a meal a day and when the chance came for her to escape she married the first man who asked. She was an innocent in all aspects and never knew what was in store for her.

She was 18 years old and pregnant with her first child the year was 1966. She and her husband lived in a tiny motel room and he would leave her at night to go out and be intimate with other women. Sometimes she had a hot meal, sometimes no meal that day at all. So alone she would stay and cry and pray for the Lord to deliver her from this trial.

On one winter night of 1966 the usual evening in occurance, she watched a little TV alone and went to bed afraid, hungry and cold. She fell into a deep sleep and said that she felt as if she had been sleeping for hours when she was wakened by something in her room. She opened her eyes and standing before her was a figure that was shrouded in soft light. She could see everything in the room as if it were daylight, but it was not. She looked at this angel and as she looked on, the angel stretched out it's arms toward her and soft, warm fingers of light covered her from head to foot. She could feel the warmth everywhere on her body but the most intense of the warmth was centered on her womb. She does not know how long the angel was there because she fell back into a deep sleep and woke the next morning feeling a comfort she had never felt in all of her life.

On February 8 1967 I was born.

I spoke with my mother last night regarding this and the fact that I had written about it to you all. She told me that she was glad that I had and also told me that just before the angel appeared she had come out of her sleep "calling Oh, God please help us"..