anitarose Posted March 7, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 65 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,066 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/15/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/02/1961 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Well, now another wrinkle has been added to this whole thing---I said it under the prayer requests: Jim (my ex) now has emphysema in addition to his diabetes and heart problems....I swear, I might be a widow before I'm divorced.... And according to our mediator, Jim doesn't know what's going on with the divorce either---apparantly when one uses Legal Aid, they tend to drag their feet....so it now has become a waiting game. I am tempted to sue Legal Aid because of the discrimination issue (when a person has money they can get their divorce in a month, but when they don't it takes a lot longer) but I won't...it's not worth the aggravation... Anyway, I've been crying all day long so my eyes are hurting a lot...I'm going to bed...nite nite all... Anita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat8585 Posted March 8, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 1,360 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 7,866 Content Per Day: 1.23 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/18/1946 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Well, now another wrinkle has been added to this whole thing---I said it under the prayer requests: Jim (my ex) now has emphysema in addition to his diabetes and heart problems....I swear, I might be a widow before I'm divorced.... And according to our mediator, Jim doesn't know what's going on with the divorce either---apparantly when one uses Legal Aid, they tend to drag their feet....so it now has become a waiting game. I am tempted to sue Legal Aid because of the discrimination issue (when a person has money they can get their divorce in a month, but when they don't it takes a lot longer) but I won't...it's not worth the aggravation... Anyway, I've been crying all day long so my eyes are hurting a lot...I'm going to bed...nite nite all... Anita If he's using Legal Aid, that explains why it's taking so long. Just be glad you don't have kids to fight over. Legal Aid doesn't even take those cases in Texas. That's why if you don't have money, you're out of luck, no mtter who is the better parent. My daughter fought with her ex over custody for her kids for their whole childhood. They are 19 and 21 now and have been deeply scarred by this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGR Posted March 12, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 512 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8,601 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/16/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/04/1973 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 All I've got left to do is file. I finally got April to sign the paperwork, got it notarized, so that's all I've got left. She tried her best to back out of taking the kids this weekend, but she wound up getting them anyway b/c I wouldn't back down. How sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anitarose Posted March 12, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 65 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,066 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/15/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/02/1961 Share Posted March 12, 2007 All I've got left to do is file. I finally got April to sign the paperwork, got it notarized, so that's all I've got left. She tried her best to back out of taking the kids this weekend, but she wound up getting them anyway b/c I wouldn't back down. How sad. I'm sorry about what you're going through, Ronald....the only saving grace I have is that I don't have kids or property to divide. I just wish I knew when it was all over with. God has told me the marriage was over from the start, but I was foolish enough to stay in it. The Lord kept me safe through it all, and protected me. Now I have to start all over again. I know He is here and He will bless me. Looking back I see His hand in it all, and even though it wasn't good, it got me to where I am now. I just cannot thank Him enough for His blessings. I've been places and did things I never thought I would. Only the Lord could have accomplished that in my life, despite my foolishness. May God bless you, Ronald, and keep His hand upon you and your boys. I know He will. Anita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jaj Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 i never thought i would be in this situation. my husband and i seperated to try to work out our problems but he went and got a girlfriend. its really painfull to be rejected by the only person you have ever been with and feel you are not good enough or worth fighting for. i tried everything to save our marriage but he is just having too much fun being single and having no responsibility(not that much has changed from when we were together, we always came after his life.) now i am a single mum with 2 little boys and am in a situation i never thought i would be in. it's not all bad, i have one less person to look after, i have more freedom and can make more of my own choices. but how do you get over the rejection of not being good enough for your partner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted March 29, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I found out there's a difference between liking somebody and loving somebody. I loved my husband, but I didn't like the person he had become. The loved part is based on the past memories, your hopes and dreams for the future and its also tied up with your self respect. When it finally hit me that I still loved the memory of the person I had fallen in love with wasn't the same person and I probably wouldn't even be friends with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted March 29, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,867 Content Per Day: 5.04 Reputation: 23,584 Days Won: 228 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted March 29, 2007 You "get over it " by realising that you are worth far more than he has to offer and your children are worth more than he has to offer them too ...yes it hurts but just you start to count your blessings and know that you are very loved by many people and that you have the chance now to be a far more possitive influence in your childrens lives and to try to ensure they do not turn out to be losers like their dad ..yes he is a loser cos whilst he may be having "fun" until it all gets boring /old hat/too expensive etc etc you have the love of your children and the chance to really make something of your life without him holding you back or bringing disease into your life as could so easlily happen if he likes to "play with fire" . It can be very hard and even very lonely at times but you can and will "get over it" and realise how fortunate you are with what you have Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGR Posted April 1, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 512 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8,601 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/16/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/04/1973 Author Share Posted April 1, 2007 My "wonderful" ex, I found out, apparently took off w/ one of the window unit A/C's. Last fall, we removed the one out of the kid's room and the one in the kitchen window. I didn't think about it, but before she left, she was fooling around in the garage and it was apparently then she took it. Let's be honest, if it were a thief, there was plenty of other stuff that they could have gotten including the other A/C, the tiller, and other stuff. Well, I called her and told her that until she brought it back, she had no visitation b/c, in my mind, she showed how little love there is for the kids by taking the A/C they need. Naturally, I'm not going to follow through on that b/c I know they love her, but she called back and I gave her a peice of my mind. I told her first of all that Charles, our middle son, had asked me if "will Mommy go to Heaven?" I told her that I explained to him that she wouldn't be going to Heaven if she didn't change and tell Jesus she was sorry for the things she had been doing. He told me that he would talk to Mommy and tell her she needed to change. I told her that I found out that she was sleeping with Ricky (her b/f) before she ever left me, was bringing him up to her work, and was making her brags that he was her boyfriend and how she was leaving me, etc. I told her point blank that Ricky wouldn't put up w/ her junk and that he would leave her high and dry if she did the things to him she did to me. I told her the only reason I put up w/ it was for the sake of the kids and that Ricky had nothing to tie him down to her and he would dump her just as he dumped her sister. I told her one of these days she'd be sitting and regretting the stuff she did, that there was no hope of her and me ever going back together, and that I was praying for her and Ricky both. The bad thing is she sees know wrong in what she's doing. She tells me that I couldn't use her living w/ Ricky as an excuse to pull visitation from her and that she's talked to a lawyer and there's nothing wrong in what she's doing! I'm reminded of the old song "Will Your Lawyer Talk To God For You" and I think it applies here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anitarose Posted April 1, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 65 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,066 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/15/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/02/1961 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Hi. It's been a little while for an update, so here goes: --I found out my ex never filed. That in itself is upsetting, because I also found out that the mediator I was using was not trustworthy and is now back to drinking heavily so I don't know what she's been telling Jim. I actually had to sit down with Jim face to face (something I vowed I would NEVER do) to discuss this divorce, to make sure we were on the same page with it. Now I don't know WHEN it's all going to be over with. --In the meantime, I've quit my job and lost my car, so now I have no transportation. I can still pay the rent for this month, but from here on in, I'm trusting the Lord for my finances. I have been working at church volunteering and doing work study (to pay for the last term of school), so that's no big deal, but I have $60 left to my name now. I somehow have to make that last for the month. I know the Lord will provide what I need, there's no question of that, and I don't have to worry about food. Thank God for our food ministry! --I have a opportunity after graduation to relocate to Arizona to work for a ministry that brings the Gospel to the Jewish people. I have a really tender heart for the Jews (always have), and my call is to eventually end up in Israel. I am working toward that end. So, overall, while the divorce isn't looking the best, at least I was able to talk to Jim and get a few things ironed out. Hopefully he gets this thing started soon. Anita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGR Posted April 1, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 512 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8,601 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/16/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/04/1973 Author Share Posted April 1, 2007 Anita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts