anita1 Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 51 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/22/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/18/1955 Share Posted August 4, 2007 3 1/2 years ago I met a man that I thought had been sent to me by God. We attended the same church. We finally started going out and I fell in Love with him. Six months ago he asked me to marry him. I thought how great is this. We laughed together, prayed together and just enjoyed being around each other. About 3 weeks ago I found out a horrible secret he has been hiding from me. I found out that he was conconvicted on child molestation charges. It happened about six years ago. I was devestated. I broke up with him and I have been miserable, because I still love him. He tells me that he has gone thru a sex offenders class and graduated, and that he has given his life to the Lord four years ago. He says that God has forgiven him and that I should. That he loves me and he is not that person anymore. I have been prayin about this and my mind tells me to let it go but my heart says to give him a chance. Am I better then God that I can't forgive? Dosen't the Bible say that if we don't forgive, we won't be forgiven. I am so confused I don't know what to do. I need help!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtwo Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,144 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/24/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/18/1978 Share Posted August 4, 2007 "For all have sinned..." This was 6 years ago. If you don't give him a chance, who will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted August 4, 2007 You can forgive him, and still not marry him, the two things aren't mutually exclusive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtwo Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,144 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/24/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/18/1978 Share Posted August 4, 2007 If I can ask... how did you find out about his secret? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 you've prayed about it. your heart is beating out a rhythmic "second chance, second chance"... but it's a restless beat with no peace. and if you don't feel peace, it's not of God. anita, of course you should forgive him. but if you were to ever marry the guy and have children of your own, there might come a time when he faces a temptation that he just can't find a reason to walk away from. and it may not be with your own children, but could be with one of their friends. forgiving someone does not mean we need to put ourselves or others at risk. he may never act on such an impulse again, but you KNOW that satan will always attack us where we are vulnerable. pray some more, and ask God to guide you in this. then make a decision. if it is the right decision, in line with God's will, you will INSTANTLY be overwhelmed with peace. if there is the slightest bit of doubt, reverse your decision and never look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minnow Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 80 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/16/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 While I think it is vital that you be entirely at peace within yourself before entering into such a commitment, I would suggest that his seeking of marriage does indicate a recognition of what is an appropriate outlet (and a willingness to follow God's plan) for sexual relationships. There is no reason preventing you from remaining friends with him and loving him dearly outside of marriage in Christian purity. If you have never been married, or you are a widow, then there is no Scriptural barrier to marrying a believer. The question really is, "Do you need to get married?" If not, then you are better off remaining single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iryssa Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 117 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,860 Content Per Day: 0.56 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/10/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/13/1984 Share Posted August 4, 2007 You can forgive him, and still not marry him, the two things aren't mutually exclusive. I agree. Do seek to forgive him...but if you're not comfortable marrying him, DON'T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Not knowing the full situation make things difficult, but one of my questions would be this: If you've been going out with this person for all this time and he never told you personally about this, what does this say about his character? I say this because of something I went through with a former fiancee. She didn't tell me about the three kids she had, and had them staying at her mother's house to keep me from finding out. I went with this woman for over a year. Things got called off! On forgiveness: God's Word makes it real clear that we are to forgive others. I would ask for God's strength and grace to do so. Remember, just because you forgive him, doesn't mean you have to go through with any marriage plans! They are 2 different issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afal Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 Yes, you need to forgive him. That is what the Bible says. What concerns me the most is that he didn't tell you about this horrible secret. Of course I wouldn't have expected him to tell you on the first date, or even the second ... but by the time you were discussing marriage, surely he should have been open and honest with you (and you with him) about the past? A marriage needs to be based on a foundation of honesty and trust. What other skeletons are there in his cupboard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anita1 Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 51 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/22/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/18/1955 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 If I can ask... how did you find out about his secret? My brother's friend recognized him when he met him. He told my brother and then my brother told me. I didn't believe it at first so I went to the police station and it was on file Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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