Meddling sister? or sister who loves her brother?

[Rachel72]

I am saved. I am getting baptized in a pool of water at church next Sunday. I had my class this morning, totally awesome. Learned so much about God, His grace and His mercy, and what He expects out of me, once I make that public declaration of being baptized.

Thursday nite, I called my sister in law, to ask her to come with, as part of my family, have her and my brother, Joe, and their two kids, my parents, and husband, so that we can be a testimony to them. So I can GET them to church, and maybe something will happen to change their lives. Let me remind you, I am not getting baptized because of this. Anyway, she said, Joe and I are not on speaking terms right now, so you will have to ask him yourself. I said is he fishing. She said, Rachel he is always fishing, he is never around for us and I asked him for a divorce tonite. Whoa!!! That scared me. I talked to Joe the next day, and Mandi, and told them I would babysit on Saturday, and even spend the nite, if it meant it would help them out in their marriage. Mandi spent the day out with her mom and sisters, Joe went fishing. He comes home, and asks me if I am spending the nite. I told him I was planning on working tomorrow. He said, I am so ...... tired. I was gonna have George over and we were going to drink, but if you don't stay, then I won't drink. I got a little upset at this. I spent the day, so he could do what he needed to do to get refreshed, and for his wife, too. I said, Joe, your kids need you. I know you have a drinking problem. OOPS!!! He got angry. It just came out, to defend myself, it just literally came out. I don't know where it came from. It did not come from anger, because I don't use words to hurt people when I am angry, usually, .

I did call him Friday, without telling him I talked to Mandi on Thursday nite. I asked him if he was all right, told him I loved him and he could talk to me. He said, rachel, I am at work. And so I apologized, and left it at that.

After I said this to him, that he had a drinking problem, I apologized. Tried backpedaling, didn't work.

I cannot have kids. I see him with his two beautiful and precious children, his daughter is my Goddaughter, and I get upset at the way he lives his life. It makes me upset, because I know I would do things different with my kids, and I KNOW I would cherish each moment, and use each moment to be with them. I want a child so much, I would not use an addiction to hide. I have already done that, and have been healed and delivered, and I think it is so unfair that people who don't deserve to have kids, I am not speaking of my brother, in general, they mishandle them, abuse them, neglect them, and here I sit, with none. It is not fair. It is an issue I have, and I am very sensitive when I see things happening that should not. Here he had some alone time with his kids, and he would have rather drank.

I have already cried for two and a half hours, and just want someone to tell me what I did wrong, if I even DID anything right, and what to do. I know this is a time right now, for spiritual warfare, my cousin got saved last Sat nite, and I am getting baptized. I know it is a vulnerable time tonite. I called my husband, crying, he said, I have to go to the bathroom. That is all he said. So I said good bye. I was sobbing, and all he could say is I have to go to the bathroom.

I feel so alone. I feel like an outcast. In my immediate family, including my husband, I am the only one who is saved. My parents have gone thru the prayer of salvation, but have not, to my knowledge, kept up a daily relationship with God. I know they are working on it, though. I don't want to judge them.

Aren't you supposed to tell someone the truth when you see destruction in their lives? I could not not say it to him. I had to. It was building up inside me, and every time I babysit, which I LOVE to do, I feel like I am enabling him to go and drink, fish and drink, whatever......

I need some guidance, and could use some prayer. I need the truth to be told to me as well. Even if it is going to ruffle my feathers. All I want to do is get my family saved, and be obedient to God. I know that the first part may not happen, ever, but the Obedience HAS GOT TO HAPPEN. So, I will treasure your knowledge wisdom and advice. I did apologize to my brother, and he forgave me. I just want to please God. That is ALL I want to do. But, things get in the way sometimes, and I forget who I am serving, I forget who I am pleasing. God or man.

Thank you for your response, I really do need it.

Rachel72

[Guest wordbearer]

Wow alot going there. We in our family will be praying for your brother's salvation because he is the head of the house. On his shoulders rest the children and his wife. We will pray the Lord will soften his heart to his wife so he can recognize her need for him. We will pray that the Lord will give him the strenght he needs to lead his family and care for his famly. That the Lord will take away the heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh. Renew his emotions and break the stronghold of addiction. We will also pray for you that the Lord will give you the words to say to your brother and give the wisdom to not say any words. We will also pray for he salvation of your husband. Just remember even in the darkest night is the promise of the morning light. God bless

[mathqueen]

my dear sister. I am so sorry for the trial you are going through right now with your family, and it may very well be that the enemy has his hand in this to discourage you, BUT remember, He who is now in you is greater!

I don't see that you did anything wrong. You have to remember, most people don't respond postively when something wrong in their life is pointed out. That does not mean it shouldn't be pointed out!

I also know it helps to know people who are in similar situations, and in two aspects, I am. I too cannot have children (don't even get me started on that one! ). Also, although I am married, I am spiritually single in my marriage. My husband was saved about 10 or 11 years ago, but he has no walk with the Lord, no fruit. I will be praying for you! Rejoice in your salvation my dear, and remember, the Lord is covering you with His great and unfailing love!

[Trusting Jesus]

You are in a very tough situation. I am sure that the problems (drinking and marital problems) have been there for a long time and you just hit a bad chord in your brother. From what you say it seems as if there are a lot of raw nerves in your family, but I don't see that you did anything wrong. Your brother got mad because he knew you were right. I know you just wanted your husband to listen to you, but --- well maybe you really did catch him at just the wrong time! That can happen. Don't allow the problems of others come between you and God, though. You sound as if you have a beautiful heart for God and want to to what is right. That's a big step in the right direction. Don't let any of this ruin the wonderful fact that you have accepted Christ and are being baptized (praise the Lord!!!).

Now, does your husband attend church with you? Now is when you need to be a Godly wife and by your example and faith you will witness to him and all of your family. I'm so sorry that you can't have children, but you still can be a huge influence on your brother's children. Could you take them to church with you? That way it will do the children a lot of good, and maybe their mother might go with you, too. Or maybe even your brother.

Above all pray for each of them. I am sure that none of them are very happy and God will use you to show them God's love.

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Nathele

[Rachel72]

Thank you so much. I needed so much to hear from each one of you, and welcome anymore feedback if you like.

Mathqueen, I am so glad that I have found someone like you, in the same situation as me. I will be IMing you. Thank you so much to everyone. It warms my heart deeply, to have support.

Thank you, and please keep praying. My church is an hour away, I drive and sometimes it causes problems with my husband, who says we cannot afford the gas money. I wish I could take the kids to church.

I really am praying hard for them to come on Sunday, to the Water Baptism. It would mean so much to me. I do feel like the black sheep of our family, because I am not like them. And it wears me down. They love me, but I know they think I am way out there. And I guess, that is okay, cuz I want to be sold on Jesus Christ.

Thank you for your wisdom and your prayers. Keep praying, and please respond more if you like. I am comforted by your words and prayer....

--Rachel72

[Trusting Jesus]

I hope that all went well today. Keep being an example to your family and God will bless then through you.

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Nathele

[Rachel72]

More stuff happening...I feel I am just being attacked spiritually. I don't ever remember having this much chaos and trouble in my entire life. And Satan could not ask for a better time to try and hurt me, as my Christian friend is gone for the weekend, who is also my cousin. She is stronger than I am, and knows how to stand and fight. I am trying. It is hard.

Sometimes it seems that maybe it is better to give it all up. To stop trying, because all my efforts to bring my family to God are thrown back in my face. My husband was very cruel to me this morning. He mocked me for not going to work, I don't have to work on Sundays, but I can if I want to for overtime. He mocked me twice with ridiculous actions with his arms and face. We are low on cash, and he yelled at me that I spent too much, KNOWING fully that the checks he wrote out for bills would eat up the extra cash we did have in the checkbook, and not from me.

What am I doing? When is enough enough? I love God, but I am not strong with emotions, and I feel all alone.....Extremely Alone!! Alienated!! Ridiculed!! Scorned!!............

[AndrewA]

What am I doing? When is enough enough? I love God, but I am not strong with emotions, and I feel all alone.....Extremely Alone!! Alienated!! Ridiculed!! Scorned!!............

My dear sister in Christ,

First you have correctly identified that you are being attacked by Satan in the hope you will give up and fall away from God. AS soon as you turn to God, you are in the front line of battle, being amongst a family of unbelievers makes the enemies attack upon you a whole lot easier, as your family are of the world and are easily influenced by Satan as they have no idea that they are being used to destroy your relationship with God.

It is natural to want everyone you know to also know God and to accept Christ as their saviour. It is also a natural reaction to think that you can convince your loved ones within a very short time. Unfortunately reality is different. IN fact if you go in with all guns blazing so to speak you can simply push people even further away, they recognize that you have changed, people can see the change within you, many will see you as a bible thumping religious nutter and someone to avoid, as they are of the world and therefore will naturally want to reject God and his word.

You have to realize that it is likely that most if not all of your family will never accept God, or if they do then it could be decades away. We all have family and friends who are not saved, it is difficult to know they are destined to damnation but we must be patient and just continue to live our lives as best we can as to how Christ lived and to just be a witness by our actions, words and deeds and pray that they will soften and allow God to speak and work within them and they do accept and come to know God.

As for the matter you speak off, again it is difficult to see a family destroyed. Yes in a way you were right to point a few things out and want to fix those things, but to be honest if divorce is being mentioned then things have been wrong for a very long time, there are most likely a number of other problems that have created the situation that you see within that family today. It is easy to speculate and jump to conclusions, and to be honest it is not exactly appropriate that you discuss other people and their problems with complete strangers.

My advice is to simply tell them that you will be available to them for help and support and that you will not take sides or judge them as you love them all. The only real advice you can give your brother and sister in law is that they must admit there is a problem between them and that they need to seek marriage counselling to get to the real issues and problems.

As for your husband, you have to be patient and tolerant. Again it is easy to over do the

[Trusting Jesus]

More stuff happening...I feel I am just being attacked spiritually. I don't ever remember having this much chaos and trouble in my entire life. And Satan could not ask for a better time to try and hurt me, as my Christian friend is gone for the weekend, who is also my cousin. She is stronger than I am, and knows how to stand and fight. I am trying. It is hard.

Sometimes it seems that maybe it is better to give it all up. To stop trying, because all my efforts to bring my family to God are thrown back in my face. My husband was very cruel to me this morning. He mocked me for not going to work, I don't have to work on Sundays, but I can if I want to for overtime. He mocked me twice with ridiculous actions with his arms and face. We are low on cash, and he yelled at me that I spent too much, KNOWING fully that the checks he wrote out for bills would eat up the extra cash we did have in the checkbook, and not from me.

What am I doing? When is enough enough? I love God, but I am not strong with emotions, and I feel all alone.....Extremely Alone!! Alienated!! Ridiculed!! Scorned!!............

AndrewA has given excellent advise. You need to really understand that when you accepted Christ as your Saviour, Satan lost out and he isn't happy. Don't let these attacks weaken your faith. You do need to speak with your pastor, though, or maybe find a strong Christian lady in the church who can guide you. Your cousin is wonderful support, but sometimes you need a person who isn't too close to the situation. But find out what the Bible says about being the Christian wife of an unsaved man. Of course he won't understand why you need to go to church.

When my husband and I were married I was a Christian (rebelling, but still believing) and my husband wasn't. Things got very tough and I knew that I needed to get back to church and into a right relationship with Jesus. My husband told me to find a church and he would go with me once or twice, but not to expect him to go every week. Well, he went once....then twice....and now 14 years later he is a strong Christian man who has completely surrendered to Christ. Watching Christ change him has been nothing short of a miracle. Notice I said "watching Christ change him". It wasn't me. You need to spend time in prayer for each member of your family.

You say that your church is an hour away from you. Is there one closer - a Christ centered, Bible based one? That may make things easier....not so much time away from home, not so much gas. It may be a compromise you need to think about.

Don't get discouraged. Trust Jesus and pray.

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Nathele

[Trusting Jesus]

More stuff happening...I feel I am just being attacked spiritually. I don't ever remember having this much chaos and trouble in my entire life. And Satan could not ask for a better time to try and hurt me, as my Christian friend is gone for the weekend, who is also my cousin. She is stronger than I am, and knows how to stand and fight. I am trying. It is hard.

Sometimes it seems that maybe it is better to give it all up. To stop trying, because all my efforts to bring my family to God are thrown back in my face. My husband was very cruel to me this morning. He mocked me for not going to work, I don't have to work on Sundays, but I can if I want to for overtime. He mocked me twice with ridiculous actions with his arms and face. We are low on cash, and he yelled at me that I spent too much, KNOWING fully that the checks he wrote out for bills would eat up the extra cash we did have in the checkbook, and not from me.

What am I doing? When is enough enough? I love God, but I am not strong with emotions, and I feel all alone.....Extremely Alone!! Alienated!! Ridiculed!! Scorned!!............

AndrewA has given excellent advise. You need to really understand that when you accepted Christ as your Saviour, Satan lost out and he isn't happy. Don't let these attacks weaken your faith. You do need to speak with your pastor, though, or maybe find a strong Christian lady in the church who can guide you. Your cousin is wonderful support, but sometimes you need a person who isn't too close to the situation. But find out what the Bible says about being the Christian wife of an unsaved man. Of course he won't understand why you need to go to church.

When my husband and I were married I was a Christian (rebelling, but still believing) and my husband wasn't. Things got very tough and I knew that I needed to get back to church and into a right relationship with Jesus. My husband told me to find a church and he would go with me once or twice, but not to expect him to go every week. Well, he went once....then twice....and now 14 years later he is a strong Christian man who has completely surrendered to Christ. Watching Christ change him has been nothing short of a miracle. Notice I said "watching Christ change him". It wasn't me. You need to spend time in prayer for each member of your family.

You say that your church is an hour away from you. Is there one closer - a Christ centered, Bible based one? That may make things easier....not so much time away from home, not so much gas. It may be a compromise you need to think about.

Don't get discouraged. Trust Jesus and pray.

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Nathele