living with a boyfriend/girlfriend

[stacey c]

I don't believe that sinners should be cast out of the church for their transgressions. If that were the case, the churches would be empty.

Well said

Amen!!!!!!!! Maybe that Sunday school teacher should have been kicked out for her judgemental spirit. Nothing irks me more than self-righteous pharisees.

Well, Paul was a Pharisee.

And came to the truth that his righteousness was in Christ.

[P_Joseph]

I don't believe that sinners should be cast out of the church for their transgressions. If that were the case, the churches would be empty.

Well said

Amen!!!!!!!! Maybe that Sunday school teacher should have been kicked out for her judgemental spirit. Nothing irks me more than self-righteous pharisees.

Well, Paul was a Pharisee.

I once new a man who had a cancer it was a friendly cancer so he told the doctor he would not have any treatment or have the cancer removed a year latter the man and the cancer were dead. So you ask what does this have to do with the price of gold in China. Well the Doctor has called sin sin. Fornication: sexual behavior considered immoral: in the Bible, sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married, or any form of sexual behavior considered to be immoral. If we as believers allow this sin how many more are we going to allow? It is not biblical to just kick some one out of the church without giving them a chance to repent but if they choose to continue in their sin than it is the churches duty to ask them to leave. Now here is some verse to see what the Bible has to say.

Matthew 15:19-20 (New International Version)

19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

1 Corinthians 5:9-13 (New International Version

9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people

Edited August 24, 2008 by P_Joseph

[Gerioke]

I don't believe that sinners should be cast out of the church for their transgressions. If that were the case, the churches would be empty.

Well said

Amen!!!!!!!! Maybe that Sunday school teacher should have been kicked out for her judgemental spirit. Nothing irks me more than self-righteous pharisees.

Well, Paul was a Pharisee.

I once new a man who had a cancer it was a friendly cancer so he told the doctor he would not have any treatment or have the cancer removed a year latter the man and the cancer were dead. So you ask what does this have to do with the price of gold in China. Well the Doctor has called sin sin. Fornication: sexual behavior considered immoral: in the Bible, sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married, or any form of sexual behavior considered to be immoral. If we as believers allow this sin how many more are we going to allow? It is not biblical to just kick some one out of the church without giving them a chance to repent but if they choose to continue in their sin than it is the churches duty to ask them to leave. Now here is some verse to see what the Bible has to say.

Matthew 15:19-20 (New International Version)

19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

1 Corinthians 5:9-13 (New International Version

9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people

[Guest HIS girl]

MY STORY.

In 2001, I became a Born Again Follower of Jesus Christ.

At the time, I had been living with one man for 12 1/2 years and in that time we had 4 sons.

He was and still is a hard-core atheist.

From the time I became a Christian, the idea of living together was NOT sitting well with me and I would bring up the conversation of marriage (for the boys' sakes). This conversation was always met with "yeah, one day maybe".

I would ask women in my Bible Study group about my concerns and they would respond with "God views you both as "married" ". I was also told that because we had children together it was "best" to stay together.

Then WHY was I feeling uncomfortable about the living situation and not being married?

I ended up being convicted by God through reading about the Samaritan woman at the well (I had read this many times before) when Jesus told her "You have well said I have no husband, for you have had 5 husbands and the one whom you now have is not your husband."

That sentence Jesus spoke to her, hit me over the head like a sledgehammer and I could not stop crying. I realised in that moment that the father of my children was not to be my husband even though we had 4 children together.

I was obedient to that conviction from the Holy Spirit and parted ways with him 5 years ago.

In that time, he has gone downhill in his lifestyle of - God rejection, abuse with alcohol, physical and mental abuse, many women and another child who he doesn't keep in touch with..

Whereas God has really Blessed myself and the boys.

The contrast of our lifestyles is so far apart, it is obvious to my family and friends (not all are Christians) that the parting of ways was the BEST thing to have happened in me and my boys life.

[Guest HIS girl]

Thanks for sharing, His Girl!

I hope it helps others!

[Rick-Parker]

Frankly, I am surprised to read so many of you say that it is no big deal.

I don't know of any who said it was no big deal. One person said he has/is doing it, but the rest said it was sin. Not too much hellfire and brimstone going on, but people have blatantly said it was wrong. So I'm not sure where your "so many" are coming from?

OK. I guess I read some posts as ambivalent. Like it's a sin but..... Sorry about that.

[Massorite]

I wanted to know your opinions or beliefs about living with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

1. Do you think it is immoral/wrong/against the Bible?

-If you say yes, what are you reasons for thinking so?

-If you say no, what are your reasons for thinking it is right or acceptable?

2. Have you ever moved in with a boyfriend/girlfriend?

-If so, did you love them or ever marry them? Were the results overall positive or negative?

-If not, have you ever considered making this deicision?

Recently a friend of mine from church told me her story about choosing to move in with her boyfriend. I did not belittle her or tell her she was wrong, because she is an adult and can make her own choices and frankly, I personally don't see anything inherently wrong or un-Christian about it. However, one of the Sunday school teachers found out about her decision and barred her from returning to the classroom. My friend was upset because she felt like she had done nothing wrong and that the teacher acted out of undue judgement or hate. I agree with my friend because she and the boyfriend love each other and had support from her family (who is a Christian family), so who am I or anyone else to automatically assume she has made a bad decision? The end of the story is she got married to this boyfriend.

Also, I have my own personal story, but I am going to hold off on the details. I just want to know what you think.

First of all according to scripture it is considered immoral and sinful to live with someone without a commitment/marriage. When a man and a woman make love their spirits become one which is why the bible tells us to have only one spouse. In the bible it also tells us that when we find out about or see a brother or sister committing unrepented sin it is our duty as a loving caring brother or sister in Christ to go to them and tell them that they are doing something that is wrong and may cause them to suffer an eternity in hell. Any time we do something that is contrary to what the word of God is telling us we are in rebellion against God and when we are in rebellion against God we will receive our just rewards for our rebellion.

The fact the you don,t see anything inherently wrong or unchristian about living with someone shows that you do not believe in what the Word of God tells us not to do.

We are the BRIDE of Christ and when we are raised from the dead we will be attending the WEDDING SUPPER with Christ and the Father. At which point our commitment/marraige to Christ will be consummated for ever. Now if you believe that Christ dosen,t think that wrong to be living with some one you need to rethink your commitment to the statutes of Christ and to the Father set forth by the Word of God as rules for us to live by if we want a relationship with Him.

Your Sunday school teacher did the right thing by forbidding her to continue to come to the class any longer because she is a not an example of a lover of Christ and a hypocrisy/heretic. Her dismissal from the class is just one example of the just rewards she will be receiving in the future for making the choice to rebel against her Creator. I expect that in the future she will end up abandoning her relationship with the church and with Christ all together which is what satan wants her to do. She will most likely blame her decline with the church on a church hurt but the fact of the matter is that her choice brought on the teachers rejection. because she should have known better. Unless she ends her relationship with her lover and returns back to pursuing her relationship with Christ she will continue to recieve the judgments of God.

It is not a matter of what you or I or anyone else says about these kinds of things. But it is a matter of what God says about these kinds of things and if He says it is wrong then it is wrong.

So if we are going to call ourselves a Christian we need to be acting like what our God says we are supposed to be acting like and living with some one is not the way our God wants us to act.

Either we are to obey ALL of the statutes of God or non of the statutes of God. There are no in betweens. In fact if we are an in between we are on the side of satan according to scripture.

[Smalcald]

why chance a moment of pleasure in loosing an eternity with Christ.

mike

I know exactly what you mean and it is truth. However very few Evengelical Christians today actually believe that, very few believe that willful unrepented sin can risk anything with Christ.

But this is not a thread about eternal security. We have PLENTY of those; I don't think we need another one. PLEASE.

No I didn't mean it to be either. I just wanted to point out talking about loosing an eternity with Christ over this issue is not going to be an effective approach to this issue and helping people make this decision not to live together; as most don't believe that to be true anyway.

I believe a much more effective approach is to look at this from a relational standpoint. People are confused, they think living together will help their relationship or will help a future marriage or they are scared of losing a person they honestly love by refusing to live together. We should address these reasons first if we really want to reach people.

A very good case can be made that if you really do love someone you will want to do what is best for that relationship, and that means not living together outside of marriage. I notice some young people do not get married because of the expense and because of not wanting the huge hassle that many weddings in the wedding industry model have become. I sympathize with them. However I would simply suggest that they don't need any of that, they can get a legal marriage certificate and simply have a minister bless their wedding in his office, the cost being almost zero and the time being very small. Given that this is possible that actually going through the marriage itself would take a couple of hours; I would wonder why a person would not want to do that given the many benefits of a legally binding marriage. The answer of course is that one of them plans on leaving at some point and does not want the "legally binding" part of the deal. Which is why I feel so strongly that a marriage is not valid in the eyes of God; unless it is done legally and filed legally with the court. Marriage in the bible was a legal binding of two families and that is the model. People say many loving words and have many loving feelings, but sometimes when you ask them to put all of their assets and their future earnings on the line, the words come up a little short "hey man its just a piece of paper" "we are married in the eyes of God" and so forth, there are many lines used.

[P_Joseph]

everything should be done with the love of Christ.

your brother in Christ.joe

[speckles]

First I have a question.

Does common law relationship count as marriage in Heaven as it does on earth?

Here in my state, we have people who are living together, and we have some who were married in common law. The state does recognise a difference and I believe God does too. One is not a covenant and one is a covenant.

The state decided that we don't need common law marriage any more and so it was moving to do away with them, if it hasn't already. (I'm not up on it, I have no need to be). I see nothing in scripture that says that two people who are scripturally able to marry cannot be married this way if they do not have to sin first.

The thing is, not all people who are shacking up are married in common law. Not all claim to be married, act married other than sexually, or what have you. Some do. Some have even had ceremonies where vows are taken and such. I do think there is a difference between that and moving some of your stuff in with your boyfriend and messing around.