The divorce and remarriage question

[Smalcald]

I'm with His Girl because of what God's Word says but I voted for but personally, I voted for "ok to stick it out because we have an Almighty God."

I say this because in my own marriage, I have been through a lot in such a short short time, a lot of you know my story. Every time I let go and work my best to be the wife that God tells me to be, things work out because I'm being obedient. He makes my marriage right. If God can do this in my marriage, you all know the stories, then it leads me to believe that IF there were ever these other types of things occurring and God forbid.....I trust completely in the Lord to bring healing and restoration to any situation that may arise in my marriage. Ayin Jade has brought me to this truth every SINGLE time I have ever came to her with a question. She has always given me sound, BIBLICAL advice. If we know God's nature and we know God's Word, then we know in our hearts what is the right thing to do and not to do. This has just been my experience however.

If every wife would be the wife scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right.

AND if every husband would be the man scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right. It's a 2-way street.

So is marriage contingent on the actions of others or our promise to God? (No doubt it is a 2 -way street totally agree), but your comments got me thinking about the concept of how we view marriage itself, what does it mean to us?

If we marry a bad wife who does not follow scripture in any way and in fact totally rejects her biblical role in the family; does that then release me from my covenent with God?

[JIME]

I voted: Ok only if the death of a spouse.

This subject has been a sticky one for my family.

What does scripture say about divorce.

Jesus teaches us in Matt 5:31-32 (AMP)--"It has also been said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery."

Then Paul talks about it in 1 Cor 7:10-15 (AMP)--But to the married people I give charge

[humbleseeker]

I wish I could have voted on a couple of the options. Foremost I belive that it is ok to remarry in the case of death, also in the case of fornication/adultry. These two have seen by the church as the only reasons for divorce and remarriage. I would have to wonder about abusive relationships, although this is controversial it seems to me that throughout the ages many men of God had many wives mostly OT but if that was ok in God's eyes then? My wife left me when I was overseas in the army I came home to nothing and found out she was preg by another man. I divorced her and I am currently in a relationship with a wonderfull woman who loves God and who I wish to marry one day. I feel I am free to marry and that God has led me to this woman.

[JCISGD]

My concern is that dicorce among believers for "Porenia" seems to be only taught by the majority of churches since the last hundred years and this seems to have flung wide the gates to Christians divorcing at an alarming rate.

Does anyone here have info on church teaching of M/D/R pre 1900`s ?

Some say the exception in Mathew was only to a Jewish audience and that Jesus was only allowing divorce/putting away, in the case of the 2 yr bethrothal period if the intended had committed porenia before the actual consumation of the marriage. i.e Josephs thought to put away Mary when he thought she had been with another man.

But after marriage adultery like all other sins is to be forgiven with seperation as the only allowance, and that for the sake of peace yet praying for reconcilliation. If Corrie Ten Boom can forgive her wartime tormentors that caused her sisters death and subjected her to much degradation, can a Christian really not forgive an adulterous spouse in order to save their soul?

[humbleseeker]

I guess that depends on the person I forgave my ex wife. But I no longer desired her company and she no longer desired mine. in fact I tried to stay with her while she was preg with another mans baby. I soon got the point that I should move on divorce trust God and find someone that God has for me and I belive I have done that. Divorce is terrible I do not like it and it dose seem so many Christians are divorcing its not good, I am a scared man with no answer to this problem.

[2Joyful]

I would like some feedback, mostly attitudes concerning remarriage.

Have any of you remarried ministers had a hard time within certain groups?

One church I went to did not allow folks who were remarried (for any reason but death) to become a member. They instructed people to go back to their first spouse.

Note to my brothers and sisters: I did not start this topic to throw stones or to bring condemnation. I would like to learn something.

Let it be noted, I've been married for 37 years, but feel I've been invited to take part replying to this topic :

There were three on your poll that I would have voted for, #1, a partner depart from you, most of us are in total agreement about that. Yet, I chose death of spouse, because the Lord has something to say in His Word concerning that, then will touch bases concerning domestic violence/abuse. Death of a spouse... Romans 2:1-3b says, For the woman who hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband...but if her husband be dead, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress, though she married to another man. Now, concerning domestic violence/abuse. In Malachi 2:13-14,16, God takes a strong stand concerning this...And this have you done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that He regard not the offering any more, or receive it with good will at hand. Yet you say, Why? Because the Lord have witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have dealt "treacherously"; yet is she thy companion, and the wife of your covenant. For the Lord, the God of Israel, said that he hates putting away, for one covers violence with his garment, says the Lord of hosts. Jesus also said "hardness of the heart" found in Matthew 19:7-8; And they said unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He said unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, (permitted) you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. So I believe that hardness of heart can be an example of domestic violence/abuse, especially when a abusive husband refuses to stop sinning against his wife or seek professional help. Therefore, even if divorce happens, I believe the God I serve would want to see his child healed, delivered, set free...and enjoying the union of marriage the way He created it to be....jotful

[JCISGD]

I would like some feedback, mostly attitudes concerning remarriage.

Have any of you remarried ministers had a hard time within certain groups?

One church I went to did not allow folks who were remarried (for any reason but death) to become a member. They instructed people to go back to their first spouse.

Note to my brothers and sisters: I did not start this topic to throw stones or to bring condemnation. I would like to learn something.

Let it be noted, I've been married for 37 years, but feel I've been invited to take part replying to this topic :

There were three on your poll that I would have voted for, #1, a partner depart from you, most of us are in total agreement about that. Yet, I chose death of spouse, because the Lord has something to say in His Word concerning that, then will touch bases concerning domestic violence/abuse. Death of a spouse... Romans 2:1-3b says, For the woman who hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband...but if her husband be dead, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress, though she married to another man. Now, concerning domestic violence/abuse. In Malachi 2:13-14,16, God takes a strong stand concerning this...And this have you done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that He regard not the offering any more, or receive it with good will at hand. Yet you say, Why? Because the Lord have witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have dealt "treacherously"; yet is she thy companion, and the wife of your covenant. For the Lord, the God of Israel, said that he hates putting away, for one covers violence with his garment, says the Lord of hosts. Jesus also said "hardness of the heart" found in Matthew 19:7-8; And they said unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He said unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, (permitted) you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. So I believe that hardness of heart can be an example of domestic violence/abuse, especially when a abusive husband refuses to stop sinning against his wife or seek professional help. Therefore, even if divorce happens, I believe the God I serve would want to see his child healed, delivered, set free...and enjoying the union of marriage the way He created it to be....jotful

Hi jotful, i do agree with much of your sentiment, but you use the words "i believe the God i serve would want...". Its not enough to believe, we must be correc t or else we are serving a God of our imagination. So we must know what God actually states in His word. Some believe there are exceptions for divorce, but i find it hard to see how in the light of Rom 7:2+3. If someone can explain how these verses do not relate i would lean more towards the exception opinion.

[2Joyful]

Edited September 30, 2009 by jotful

[spiritman]

I voted for only in the case of death of the spouse.

[Guest enyang]

And they most definitely should not split up and get back together with their original partners (that is most definitely a biblical no-no). It's all quite muddled and difficult - sin always is.

close, but incomplete. scripture forbids a couple to remarry each other IF one of them has married and divorced someone else during the interim.

The question as to whether a divorced/remarried person can be considered "Christian" is yet another issue. For this, I think only God can know for certain, and it depends on whether the person knew that what they were doing was wrong, and/or whether they had truly repented of that. I cannot point fingers and say a person is saved or not - it is not my place to Judge. Something for God to work out between them and him. It all comes down to what's in the heart.

This is what I think the Bible says about the matter. hope it helps

~ PA

it depends on a, b, and c? uh, no. i have to disagree with you on that. it depends on whether the person involved has repented of their sin. divorce is not the unforgivable sin.

a scripture comes to mind... i don't want to look up the chapter and verse, but it's the one where paul says if you are bound to a woman, don't seek to be loosed, and if you are loosed from a woman, don't seek to marry, but and if you marry, you have not sinned. the scripture then says AND if a virgin marries, the virgin has not sinned. this passage has been hotly debated many times and i won't participate in another such debate, but the bottom line is, even paul was indicating here that forgiveness extends even to a repentant divorcee.

and i'll say this. i am a christian, i divorced my first husband (knowing it was wrong), and God chose my second husband. (there have been times i wondered why, but deep down i know why, and God's plan is still in the works.)

well well i am new ladyc and wish to learn and know more so please be not hard on me .i just wish to share my point of view as regards divorce especially in response to what you wrote.you know a man once told me no human has ever seen his or her face,all they have ever seen is an image of their face on a mirror.Rick Joyner wrote in his book <THE FINAL QUEST> proud men cannot admit that they are proud.you see i do not judge but i am trying to make a point here that the issue of admitting sin is a difficult one never the less ,Jesus forgives us if we confess and repent.Now i do not know what the implications are or what Jesus demands in repentance but that only you and Him can answer it.It is wrong and a sin to divorce for whatever reason and remarry to another and God can never chose a different husband for you after you divorce.you made the choice but it does not mean He cannot work with and through him.The Bible writes that let all men be liars and God alone be true He cannot go against Himself nor compromise if God choses a different husband for you while the former is still alive then He stops being God for He has failed and broken His word He does not change and will not.Not an iota or a dot will pass away from His word. God makes it clear to us that a man for a woman till death do them part.He will not change that ,but due to your and our hardness of heart He permitted divorce.now Jesus has come and has given us grace to stand all things for His sake.So lady please justify not your actions with God God bless you

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