Tazcontrol

I believe in God because I simply believe in His creation. I know that deep in my heart He loves me and accepts me. I connect to His creation and stand in awe of his beauty all the time. I've had a bumpy road. But who doesn't? Our journey's are not the same. Everyone has their own struggles, hardships, times of failure. My dad doesn't like going to church and my mom thinks they are hypocrites. It's a matter of what is taught to you and what you choose to believe. All I can say is stick the scripture because there is nothing more real then that!!!!

Sometimes I feel like I can't cry when I need to. Or either that I hold it in til I'm about to explode. Then I could build my own river. I had a rough time after I lost my job and took care of my friend so she would be safe.

I can't stand to think about the fact that our teachers have to carry guns now to protect themselves. All of these shootings just ripping people apart it's like they have no choice. Sometimes I remember why I liked England so much. For awhile(back when I was there) guns weren't allowed unless you were a police officer. Didn't have to worry about gun much while we were over there. I remember being in the Czech Republic on a mission's trip when the Columbine shootings happened. They were so thankful and grateful that we were there to help them. But it's hard looking back at your country and that's what the word see's. Is the violence, not the good stuff people are doing for communities.

mor·al [mawr-uhl, mor-] Show IPA adjective 1. of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical: moral attitudes. 2. expressing or conveying truths or counsel as to right conduct, as a speaker or a literary work. 3. founded on the fundamental principles of right conduct rather than on legalities, enactment, or custom: moral obligations. 4. capable of conforming to the rules of right conduct: a moral being. 5. conforming to the rules of right conduct ( opposed to immoral ): a moral man. I believe we all have some set of morals. Some more then others. Talking about the lines we won't cross. The bible I believe has a good set of laws. I mean really the main set of laws that we are supposed to follow. Now we are all capable of breaking the rules as we are born sinners. But I believe those of us who choose to stick to our morals and OBEY those laws will come out better in the end. The consequences in choosing not to obey are quite hefty. Nobody really WANTS to sit in jail. At least I don't. I may be a spoiled military brat but I sure got disciplined when I did something wrong. I saw a post on here about somebody being mad about the stuff people were saying about the muslims that killed an innocent guy in England. When stuff like this happens, people get mad and angry and sometimes want to retaliate. I had a lot of anger towards the happening of 9/11 and the Boston bombers to be more recent. I just don't understand why anybody would want to hurt so many people. But instead of holding it all in I talked to somebody about so I didn't explode. It's important we reach out to each other so we can prevent stuff like this from happening.

I have known a few church's to do this. It is very uncomfortable. I understand that you are supposed to give 10% but forcing people into giving more isn't right. They try to make you feel guilty if you don't. A church by me had a priest exonerated for doing something similar to this. Some church's struggle more then others and I understand that. But I know some church's that sit on way more money then they let you think. My ex husband dislikes going to church because the first church we went to together all the did was demand money. A church isn't supposed to make people feel like that.

My problem is I can't keep the money once i get it. I tend to spend it because it burns a hole in my pocket. I don't have much responsibilities other then paying my car note and insurance. But I feel like i will forever be stuck in my parents house because I don't take responsibility for what I do owe. On the other hand, I don't have a job. I have no money coming in to even pay down my student loans so I can go back to school. I have hospital bills like you wouldn't believe. I am just at a stand still right now. Is the money the root of all evil? Sometimes I believe it is! People these days think they are owed something from other people or the government. I don't think that way. My problem is I can't keep a job. My best friend had to be put in a Christian shelter that will help her get the skills she needs to work on the outside world. She is 32 and has never worked a day in her life. Granted she is bipolar with high anxiety issues. But she has never been taught how to take care of herself. The only difference between her and I is that I've been working since I was 16. I have a problem keeping jobs because of my bipolar and do not have the education needed to make more money to be able to pay off the bills that I have.

I don't lIke the word hate. And I surely don't like feeling it. When somebody makes me angry to the point of hate, I have to have some quiet time to process my thoughts and think what would Jesus do? Not only do we have to think about the consequences of what might happen if we retaliate, We have to do what is right in God's eyes. I've always been told to kill them with kindness. We have a flame that burns for the Lord. When we allow people like that to get to us it weakens our flame. We have to be stronger. Love is stronger then hate. Sometimes it's hard to love somebody who is driving you nuts. Trust me I know ask my parents

I love this song Worshiper, The Sounds of Him saying The God of Angel Armies, like the most powerful Army of all, just really speak to me. When I was on my Retreat in the Czech republic we were referred to as God's army. I will never forget it.

Ephesians 1:7-10 In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will acoording to his good pleasure, which he purposed in christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment-to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. Redemption through His blood is what got it for me. I say this because there are things I haven't forgiven myself for. He shed is blood so that we could be forgiven. I find hope in this passage and in His word. That the more I turn to the trusty bible for answers I get more then I bargained for. A Lord that Loves me and forgives me. Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. There is comfort in this as well. But sometimes forgiving can be so hard, especially when it's something so personel. But I think through time and more therapy God will allow me to forgive my abuser.

I have a hard time forgiving myself.........for leaving my ex husband and my son behind. I beat myself up a lot sometimes and it just rips me apart. But I know my son is being taken care of my his father and step mom so that gives me some comfort. I'm working on forgiving my abuser. How do you do that? Why do I have so much anger? How do I redirect it? It's a tough subject but it's aparently something I really really need to work on.

I was in an unhealthy relationship. We had been together for 5 years and we broke it off. I was living in a trailer with a friend I worked with. Him and his friends were always doing drugs. I went to church on Sunday and they were singing that song.......He knows my name He knows each tear that falls, ......and i just bursted out into tears and decided I wanted to give my life to christ. I got baptized on my birthday. My car broke down, and I had to give my cat to the humane society because my ex didn't want her and my friend didn't want her at his house. Her name was Mia, I named her after Mia hamm my favorite soccer player. I called her my mia bia. The church provided me with money and a place to stay away from the drug users. They also gave me a car to bring down here to drive so I could get around. It was an 88 oldbmobile. It was donated by the salvation army by one of the guys from church who's grandma passed away. I was so undeserving. But they helped me anyways. The church I went to down here, the Ugandan orphans choir came to sing. When they sung that song that was played when I was saved it brought a tear to my eye. Just recently my friend had no where to go. She asked me to take her to her friends house so I did. When I got there I was overwhelmed by God's grace one again. He was saying he forgives me for my sins and reminded me that He will always be there. That He is the friend I need. And that He loves me so unconditionally. I never felt so loved. I am not perfect by no means. But I do know He is my creator and I am thankful every day that He love and forgive a sinner like me.