freeinnocentspirit

thanks ladyhrtlovesu - I think essentially Im the same as you. Its been a year i've been unemployed too. The problem is that this time so so much as happened in such a short space of time that its almost like I have been caught up in a whirlwind (while ill) and now the rosy tinted glasses have been removed and im having to rebuild my life. You are so right about your comment and how its so important that you are selective about who you allow into your life. I had a quiet Good Friday and I was just sitting there reading the gospel of Matthew (my personal favorite!) with a great big tea pot of tea and as I was let say just about to sit myself down and my mobile kept buzzing and it was a few friends who were planning the usual pub crawl on a Friday night (Im 30 and these are the old friend from university who cant let that student life go!) who were sending out texts hunting for people to tag along and for the first time it just prompted me to get on my phone and start sifting through all the old friends that I have grown out of and remove them. As for being a slow learner, I think I am one too it feels as though my life has been forced on hold as there is this grand lesson that I need to learn and I just dont see it yet! Thanks for all the replies I really appreciate it.

Dani, My advice would be never to let an opportunity pass you by. I have at times been very loyal and set in my ways and watched a great chance pass me by. I think that its important that you dont get caught up in materialistic things in what you dont have. I am as you know too frantically looking for work and I know my intentions in getting this new job is to start over and have one that allows me to have a good work life balance. I think in a similar way its important that as a family you make the move to a new state. You have to work out how grand the benefits would be in taking up an opportunity in another state. Weigh up the pros and cons, Its tough to not have a endless source of income but I think its important that you keep the most important thing to you (family) at the center of it all.

Well it doesnt not really matter to me as I do read the Bible and I know what I am. I was just very interested to see how this blend worked and if there were others here who had a liberal blend. For me I can do both Yoga and Tai Chi without the exercise influencing my faith I just dont want to get carried away with it all.

My answer to both questions on the poll was No. Im thirty years old now so im looking at this question sort of thinking well do I want to work for the next fourty years...hmm. Now Im single and no kids but at 65 or 75. My priorities are going to be totally different I suppose I wont want to work and will possibly have my own kids and grand kids to spend time with the last place I supposed I'd want to be is sat behind a desk doing the old nine to 5 watching the sunshine outside through the window!

Hi John thanks for the post. Firstly, I have always hated the religious aspect of this yoga group and im not the only to sit the chanting part out. My reason for sitting this element out is that I can see it as a form of prayer and my intentions of attending the class is that this form pranayama has an emphasis on breath work and it helps manage my erratic asthma problem. So my intentions of going there are purely for exercise. I am going to search for a class that does not contain any forms of chanting or religion as its not necessary to do this for a class that is clearly multi faith. Also I think a lot of these classes can lead people to what I refer to as hippi-fication (its my new word ) where you end up exploring all forms of self help and holistic health care and just end up confused and puzzled! In my case Im very happy where I am right now with my faith and need nothing more.

Thank you for the suggestion. My alarm bells kind of went off instantly maybe that's whats made me ask here.

see normally I would hear something like this and would never give it a passing thought but this to me was like why would you complicate your life? I just spent what best part of a year simplifying mine and here is someone who seems to just blend two totally opposite things.

I have no idea where to post this anyway, this is what my question is. Can a person be a Christian and Buddhist? Basically months back I posted a topic here (or somewhere) about the chanting element in my yoga class and how I felt uncomfortable to do that so my resolution in this issue was that I don't participate in any of the chanting. So when they all start chanting i take a time out. There was a group summer party and I got talking to a lady who was wearing a cross pendant and was talking about the beauty of Buddhism. So I asked her what she believed in? She said she was both a Christian and a Buddhist as I was thoroughly confused I just let it pass by and wondered if you could be both? I dont know why i need to clarify either Im just curious thats all.

I agree, I once bought something for my mum using my credit card. She used to use Chrome so i put the order through and got a confirmation number then accidentally she pressed back and ended up on the page with my whole card number with the expiry date and everything. I was a flaw with Chrome so we have now all moved to Firefox. thanks for the advice Invisible.

Thanks believer, a part of me so grateful that all that happened as I really did need to experience this and that I really did need to change my ways. I think the fundamental issue is that my family is very much so multi faith and predominately agnostic. With that quite a few of my friends are too so I have a huge range of views and mannerisms that come with that. I have this feeling that I have touched on to something brilliant and that I know I cant go back. Its just a case of me now needing to lower my guard and allow myself to be lead on this journey. thanks everyone for the reassurance, Much appreciated

I want light, no more darkness. I love that phrase although I spent years not truly undertanding what it meant. The one thing I feel which has been a big difference within me is that I just see those who bring in the darkness to my life. Im also a lot more direct with people than I ever used to be.

Thanks for all the replies and reassurance, Its almost like in a short space of time I had a lot of things just get torn out of my life you know I thought I had it all set up and ready to keep going with the 9 to 5 for forever. But every time I get exposed to a part of the old me (so to speak) its like I totally switch off. I know that I cant go back to how I was, there is no going back.

I sort of dont know where to start I just wish that my introduction into Christianity was less of the rocky road route! I have mentioned on this forum about how I had a job from hell which l had been booted out of while I was sick and admitted in hospital (nice huh!) Since then I have started studying Christianity and I know this is feels right for me. At no means am I questioning my beliefs however I am starting to have a lot issues relating to my friends like I used to. I think I have just drastically changed within a very short amount time and dare I say it I feel brand new. I havent been working for a while (been manically hunting for a new job) and it could just be that I am lacking a sense of regularity but I sit at friends gathering and I think 'wow i really have poor choice in friends' or when a boring gossipy topic turns up im also transforming into a snob and changing the subject! Is this a phase that everyone has experienced? Is it a part of a larger process.

Monarchy, I agree with Nebula's comment above. I have a similar situation to you in the fact that I have a multi - faith family. Often I am the one too who is sat there at the Big family gatherings just listening. Although my family are essentially agnostic I have relatives from across the board of Abrahamic faiths. This never causes an issue until someone sparks up a debate religion related. I did have someone want to debate the existence of God with me and I didn't allow them to even debate with me as this is one element I wont debate as there is no need to debate for me. This is my definition of Chit Chat and its a waste of time - sometimes people who talk too much have a bigger social issue than those who dont talk at all. There is nothing wrong with you at all. In my opinion Psychologists can cloud your mind like mad, never over analyze yourself or let anyone else either. There is nothing wrong with you Monarchy from me! Multi-faith here too with my younger brother and his family (they are RCC). It is not right that my family make me feel so uncomfortable among them, family should be the most comfortable and safe. Thank you for replying. Ah not always the case. Growing up I used to think most families are like the good old Waltons on TV and I would look at mine and think why is my lot more like the Simpsons! I think family is just that a mix of people who are in life and they either have the biggest positive effect on you or they can have the biggest negative effect on you. My family due to its vast differences is different, but I've learnt to appreciate them for just that. In my family I grew up agnostic and my uncle who I was an atheist and would love sparking a debate to provoke a reaction and make us contest the existence of God. So I was like you sat there mouth zipped and for some reason unable to speak up (deep down I used to resent him for this attack mode he would go into) , he died in 2007 and you know when he was sick in hospital (he has a severe stoke and heart attack) he was lying in Bed and I saw him actually start praying for the first time. It then I realized that he was just venting life frustration on to us all and all this time that he would make every family gathering stressful and some of us would avoid these gatherings in the end. I would rather be with a quiet listener than to have someone make me ever feel that uncomfortable ever again. My grandad used use the empty vessel proverb on him (Empty Vessels make the most noise!).

Monarchy, I agree with Nebula's comment above. I have a similar situation to you in the fact that I have a multi - faith family. Often I am the one too who is sat there at the Big family gatherings just listening. Although my family are essentially agnostic I have relatives from across the board of Abrahamic faiths. This never causes an issue until someone sparks up a debate religion related. I did have someone want to debate the existence of God with me and I didn't allow them to even debate with me as this is one element I wont debate as there is no need to debate for me. This is my definition of Chit Chat and its a waste of time - sometimes people who talk too much have a bigger social issue than those who dont talk at all. There is nothing wrong with you at all. In my opinion Psychologists can cloud your mind like mad, never over analyze yourself or let anyone else either. There is nothing wrong with you Monarchy from me!

well said evergreenjo. I always saw religion as pointless way back in my wandering free agnostic days and saw religion pointless and then gradually my mentality got to the point where I was pessimistic then sheer negative. I look back now and realize I was holding myself back and letting people hold me back. Dont let yourself down.

I so agree with you Gary. For me regret is the aftermath of a mistake but it just shows you've learnt a lesson. I think its natural to regret something as long as you don't dwell on it continuously. I regret a lot of things linked to poor choices and well all these poor choices made me awaken to the true existence of God. So Regret for me is good and it makes me feel more merciful. If you dont regret a bad thing it just makes you ruthless.

Oh I have so been there too, It was at this point that I believe I found faith. I have been there literally to when you say the phrase, Is God really listening and I dont want to die. I thought that same thing has I was lying on a hospital bed being hooked up to a nebuliser and then a oxygen tank so literally I thought I dont want to die. Everyone has been where you are in one shape or way. Hang in there be patient and you will get the remedy. I did and its was a lovely rapid healing process!

I have I guess my frustration at this friend was due to another snowballing issue. I do admire his ability to become a sponge for all aspects of faith, history and even going into ancient history. He is very full on and like me an all-or-nothing personality type too so thats where we meet in the middle. I've realized i'd rather be surrounded by people like him than with those who just are thrill seekers and live for the moment type. So I have forgiven him Thanks for all the advice and replies everyone its much appreciated.

This is really reassuring as I have no other alternative than to leave her to find her own way. See the dilemma was this, I came along and gave her the comfort of being there and now im about to take it all away out of the blue and thought it doesn't make me a great person. But then having her pollute my environment doesn't either. To a degree the thought which keeps crossing my mind is that I don't want to intervene in her life too much and over assist. I think if people kept doing that to me maybe I would not have been blessed to have found faith and to be able to trust in the Lord like I do and believe that it is enough and not need that constant re-assurance from a friend that everything is going to be ok.

Thanks for all the advice, She moved in (so to speak) in late Dec 2011. She decided to leave her husband after Christmas. What I initially found odd was that her own parents had avoided taking her in and she was set to be completely alone at Christmas and new year hence my need to open my doors up. I don't usually offer at all and I think there must have been a reason behind my need to suddenly offer up so much (free board, food and pollution of my environment!). This whole experience has taught me so so much - especially this just goes to show how I don't really know my friends as well as I thought I did. Also its made it abundantly clear just how much I have changed personally and how had I not made massive changes in my life could have become almost her. Truth, I think that you are so right about the parenting aspects. Its interesting how a person (in this case me) can meet so many people on a day to day basis and you will never scratch the surface of that persons real nature or characteristic. She is just too complex for me. My aim of the day is to sit and have the friend now understand its time to move on and get her own place. She made a decision to get divorced and I have some how become like a comfort blanket to her. As you said Monarchy this is a case of being taken advantage of, I was only prompted to post on here because she was spending at whole of the evening on the phone to anyone who will listen to hear her malicious gossip and news about her soon to be ex-husband. Its just a case of me now trying to find a way to get her out into new accommodation swiftly and stress free. I don't plan on ever having to spend my weekends out of my own house to get a bit of peace in my life. Thanks again everyone.

Are you in a personal relationship with Jesus The Son of God? Maybe I needed to elaborate a little more. I have no problem helping a person out by giving them time and even money or whatever I can. I'm glad to have people around me who will do that extra bit for me too. But I am stuck being taken advantage of now. Long story short the friend I refereed to the Church minister today has decided to end her marriage so I being the nearest friend to live near her said offered her my spare room for as long as she needs it (this was evidently a mistake - I'm actually a school friend of her soon to be ex-husband) as I saw myself as how would I feel in her shoes. So I opened up my doors to her so she can get back on her feet soon. I never intended to be like a surrogate mother to her and its now got to a real childish point where she is going through the divorce proceedings and its not nice hearing negative things all the time. Yet again im moaning on here again - I've gradually become so pessimistic and negative and im seeing faults in others that I never did before. I had a little clash with the husband of a different friend (that i moaned about here as well) and usually I would not have become so annoyed when I know he was suggesting his alpha class to me as goodwill gesture. I know I need to drop hints at encouraging her to find her to find a new place. I just feel evil now for having to do this... I wish I was more able to be compassionate but its now got to the stage where all that messy divorce talk has started to have an impact on me and my own well being.

I've been wondering to post this on here for a while now to really get an opinion about my dilemma. How far would you go to help a friend in need? How much compassion are you willing to show people who are just pushing their problems on to you? I do want to help friends and family when they have been down. I know the saying goes it is better to give then to receive - how do you stop a person from affecting your own life? Well what I am interested to know is how do you maintain a line that you don't allow friends to cross, I have somehow ended up as a support network for 2 friends and I am no trained specialist, I even asked one of them to go speak to a Church minister today.

Count your blessings in your life. When you hit rock bottom remembering all the positive and blessings are like a ray sunshine!! Remeber everything happens for a reason - you may have a even better job waiting for you in the future!

Good advice, I use the the childrens dosage of anti histamine as it has a lower chance of clashing with anything else and less side effects for adults! nb. get checked out for sinusitis (as you mention excruciating head ache!)