Ghostdog

i tried to do this a couple of yrs ago and i got to about here

its a tradition

i penned pretty much all the second verse and changed a couple of words in the rest

Well, just the other day I was driving down the road And I was listening to the stuff coming out the christian radio Well, I didn't recognize a single song or none of the names But it didn't really matter 'cause they all seemed to sound the same Where's all the outlaws and renegades? The Lord knows, I miss those days When they said what they were taught What they taught was what was in the Book Did all the outlaws and renegades Pack up and go home? I guess the outlaw and renegade days have gone Well, I got home and I turned on christian TV And you won't believe what some preacher was trying to tell me He said there's many ways to God, Jesus didn't need to die I turned it off and didn't know if I should laugh or cry Oh, Where's all the outlaws and renegades? The Lord knows, I miss those days When they said what they were taught What they taught was what was in the Book Did all the outlaws and renegades Pack up and go home? I guess the outlaw and renegade days have gone Oh, Where's all the outlaws and renegades? The Lord knows, I miss those days When they said what they were taught What they taught was what was in the Book Did all the outlaws and renegades Pack up and go home? I guess the outlaw and renegade days have gone Yeah, I guess the outlaw and renegade days have gone Just gone I'm talking about DC Talk, Carman not CCM Give us back Billy Graham

no i just wanted to share this event.

when i was around 4 yrs old or so i was in the basement and i found myself staring at pink insolation trying to make a connection between it and cotton candy which i had a few days before when i heard a voice in my head that said "thats not what you think it is" i turned around and forgot about it.

i got a question: if christianity was outlawed tomorrow, how prepared would you be? how will you survive?

i was in rehab, that happened a year ago

Breaking News: Worthy user ghostdog decides to check Himself into rehab, After admitting an addiction to pornography. We'll have more On this story as it develops... Meanwhile ghostdog is rumored to be... On-and-off-again relationship with God... This just in, is it a sabbatical or the end? The rumors and speculation continue to swirl around Ghostdog, he insists he's just taking a Break, but now its believed hes done, leaving Us all to ask: Will ghostdog ever look at pornography again? So this is it This is what I wished for Just isn't how I envisioned it Porn lead to imprisonment I just thought things would be different But something changed The minute that I got a whiff of it I started to inhale it Smell it Started sniffing it And it became like cocaine I just couldn't quit I just wanted a little bit Then it turned me into a monster I became a hypocrite Week after week I was raking in the dough Rolling in green Had the game hemmed up Like a sewing machine But I was losing my freedom There was nowhere for me To not go and be seen And just go and be me And there was no in-between I either loved it or hated it Every female I gave a 3, then 3 Years later go back and re-rate them And call Amanda the greatest Lisa was a classic Rachel was fantastic But Angel just didn't have the caliber to match them I guess enough time just ain't passed, yet A couple more years, that girl will be ill-matic And eight years later, I was still at it Divorced or married, or boyfriends I didn't care I was a sex addict And this is real talk I feel like the Incredible Hulk My back has been broke, and I can still walk So be Careful What You Wish For Cause you just might get it And if you get it then you just might not know What to do with it, cause it might just Come back on you ten-fold I said Be Careful What You Wish For Cause you just might get it And if you get it then you just might not know What to do with it, cause it might just Come back on you ten-fold I got a message from a fan, that said He's been praying for me Every day and for some reason It's been weighing on my mind heavy Cause I don't read every Message I get, but something told me to go ahead and open it, but Why would someone pray for you when they don't know you? You didn't pray for me when I went loco And as I read my socials I think of all the things I had to go through Just to get to where I'm at I've already told you at least A thousand times in these rhymes I appreciate the prayer, and I know I got God on my side And it's been one crazy ride, hasn't it? Now that I'm looking at it from an opposite standpoint Man, boy's got to look "Nuts" And that's the only word I can think of right now On how to describe it This is like a vibe you get Just watch what you wish for, cause I had all of it So be Careful What You Wish For Cause you just might get it And if you get it then you just might not know What to do with it, cause it might just Come back on you ten-fold I said Be Careful What You Wish For Cause you just might get it And if you get it then you just might not know What to do with it, cause it might just Come back on you ten-fold

sorry i didnt see this til now. yes i am indigenous im ojibway but i was adopted into a mi'kmaq family at infancy

im talking about the residential schools which happened long after the reformation

i get comments like "how can you be a Christian after what they did to us?, do you know they forced their religion on our people?" i replied "that was the past thats not how things are now" then i see a video of a group of Christians trying to not let a group of people onto one of their sacred sites and i cringe. when will it end?

Drums - Johnny Cash From the Indian reservation To the governmental school Well they're goin' to educate me To the white men's Golden Rule And I'm learning very quickly For I've learned to be ashamed And I come when they call Billy Though I've got an Indian name And there are drums beyond the mountain Indian drums that you can't hear There are drums beyond the mountain And they're getting mighty near And when they think that they'd changed me Cut my hair to meet their needs Will they think I'm white or Indian Quarter blood or just half breed Let me tell you Mr. teacher When you say you'll make me right In five hundred years of fighting Not one Indian turned white And there are drums beyond the mountain Indian drums that you can't hear There are drums beyond the mountain And they're getting mighty near Well you thought that I knew nothing When you brought me here to school Just another empty Indian just America's first fool But now I can tell you stories That are burnt and dried and old But in the shadow of their telling Walks the thunder proud and bold And there are drums beyond the mountain Indian drums that you can't hear There are drums beyond the mountain And they're getting mighty near Long Pine and Sequoia Handsome Lake and Sitting Bull There's Magnus Colorado With his sleeves so red and full Crazy Horse the legend Those who bit off Custer's soul They are dead yet they are living With the great Geronimo And there are drums beyond the mountain Indian drums that you can't hear There are drums beyond the mountain And they're getting mighty near Well you may teach me this land's history But we taught it to you first We broke your hearts and bent your journeys Broken treaties left us cursed Even now you have to cheat us Even though you this us tame In our losing we found proudness In your winning you found shame And there are drums beyond the mountain Indian drums that you can't hear There are drums beyond the mountain And they're getting mighty near

September 30, 2021 marks the first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation in Canada. The day honours the lost children and Survivors of residential schools, their families and communities. Public commemoration of the tragic and painful history and ongoing impacts of residential schools is a vital component of the reconciliation process. Both the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation and Orange Shirt Day take place on September 30. Orange Shirt Day is an Indigenous-led grassroots commemorative day that honours the children who survived residential schools and remembers those who did not. This day relates to the experience of Phyllis Webstad, a Northern Secwepemc (Shuswap) from the Stswecem'c Xgat'tem First Nation, on her first day of school, where she arrived dressed in a new orange shirt, which was taken from her. It is now a symbol of the stripping away of culture, freedom and self-esteem experienced by Indigenous children over generations. On September 30, I encourage all my friends to wear orange to raise awareness of the very tragic legacy of residential schools, and to honour the thousands of Survivors and the ones who didn't make it home. Growing up I saw first hand how the residential schools left their mark on my grandparents and my father. Even though my father didn't go to a residential school he still grew up with the effects of it which were then passed on to me. It's called multi generational trauma and most if not all Indigenous communities suffer from it. For a long time I didn't understand why dad acted the way that he did but a few years ago I was taught about the residential schools and now I understand a lot more.

this is a very personal struggle. i wasnt sure if i wanted to post it or not You said come just as you are Skin and bones and broken heart You say you want me there this way Okay, well I'm on my way I'll grab these pictures just in case I'm just too ashamed to pray Well I'm bringing this problem to you now Yea the prodigal son returns The only way that I know how, the only way that I know how Gonna bring this porn down to the alter Fall on my knees and pray Lord I ain't got much to offer And I ain't tryin to die this way So can You forgive this weak body And blot out my sins in Your blood If I put it down will you take my offering Give me the strength to never pick it up Yea here I stand, just as I am You know most folks don't understand That I'm talkin bout putting out my best friend It sounds so sad, but that's how it is And that's why it's gotta end Lord I can't do it by myself Forget my pride, I need your help Gonna bring this porn down to the alter Fall on my knees and pray Lord I ain't got much to offer And I ain't tryin to die this way So can You forgive this weak body And blot out my sins in Your blood If I put it down will you take my offering Give me the strength to never pick it up Yea here I stand, just as I am Mmmmmhmmmmmmm Got a heart full of tears and pain And thousand lost heart broke memories Scars on the heart and the skin I'm wearin Raise me up, a brand new man So I can face this world, just as I am You said come just as you are Skin and bones and broken heart You kept your word, and here I stand, I'm Yours again, just as I am

Hey, it's me I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you for making it to this point. A while ago you didn't even believe you'd make it here, but here you are. You're doing good kiddo! Don't be so hard on yourself and celebrate the little things you achieve some more, they all add up to something big eventually. I know you've experienced a lot of setbacks. You got used and abused but what I admire about you the most is your unwaivering faith. ''It can't be for nothing. It's never for nothing!'', right? I know you still carry a lot of pain inside of you, but instead of letting all the violence your heart experienced make you cold, you let it make you soft instead. You pay attention to detail and the little things and that's what makes life truly beautiful. You still believe in love even though it left you more times than not. You never lose sight of who you're trying to become, of what you want to make others feel, of the bigger picture. You understand that in order to give something away you have to learn it first. You are so strong for turning every negative into a positive. I heard you're learning to open up more about how you really feel. That's really good. Not everybody is out to get you and you deserve to feel the love you give so freely. Also whatever you feel is valid, you were never too much and I'm happy you're finally realizing it. You deserve a seat at the table. You're healing some of your oldest fears. The question ''what if'' is no longer followed up by negative thoughts but endless possibilities of how great things can get. You're freeing yourself of your own suffering and I can't tell you enough how proud that makes me. The world is yours, go get it! I gotta go but please just know this, you're young, you got all this time, live a little, enjoy yourself. Exit anything that makes you feel less than you are! I love you so much. Thank you for never giving up on me. I'll talk to you soon.

i just finished watching this film and 2 things popped out. 1. i disagree with his statement that the new world was scarcly populated 2, if the catolic church instituted sunday worship then why as prostestant do we follow it?

this is my battle too I wake up, puddle of sweat I have nightmares when I get back into bed It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat In the back of my head And I can't get them to leave me alone 30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home Because that's when the voices get the loudest Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest But these demons keep pressing me I swear they're the foulest But I've grown comfortable with their presence My conscious is calloused My dreams are their playground My thoughts are their palace I try to evict them, they return with more Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store I was ten the first time I had a panic attack Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that And I didn't tell anyone Because I was too scared about what they'd say And I know deep down there was nothing They could do to take it away It was my fight to fight and my battle to face I remember that house I grew up in And how those demons would rattle that place I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling That feeling of being lonely That feeling of being lost That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off That feeling of being depressed That feeling of being anxious That feeling of screaming to God Begging him to take this Only to get silence in return I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn And I turn and I toss to this day The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away So forgive me if I fantasise about being gone today I'm an actor who got really good at being on today But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows I'm in the deep end now but I started in the shallows And I might just drown myself in these waves Suburban hell, these homes are all graves Everyone's coping with something but won't admit it They're all too afraid And these kids are glued to watching me what do I say? If I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles And I don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins And if he has the number must be astronomic My life is a joke and you keep reading Just pass the comic Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth I wish I could open up to you and just let loose But my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose And them I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside But he's not going to keep me from pulling The throttle back this time He's not going to keep me trapped like this I can't get out of bed I was never meant to act like this I packin' up my bags and he can't stop me From running fast like this I'm not going to be a slave to these voices of anxiety I'm shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me And I'm taking a bell to these demons Who whispered despair in my ear And I'm ignoring every naysayer Who stands and stares when I'm near I'm moving forward out of this slump I took my bruises, I took my lumps I fell down but I got right back up So give me a torch and lets light that up I'm setting fire to the devil and I'm dousing these demons in gasoline Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me Now whose the one whose being tortured and poked Now whose the one closing every door that I want Now whose the one watching the other burn to the ground Don't look away from me you better turn back around I'm not done talking to you now I'm watching your moves, I'm on your back And I'm stalking you too And when you try to ruin some other kid's life I'll be stopping you too You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that You took me down but I bounced right back I was lost and I got found like that And everything you told me I wasn't Someone new told me I was And everything you hated in me Someone new told me He loves And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me I'm announcing it now that the devil can't hold me I'm walking away from the old me And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later And I found my escape in the form of a saviour

please don't kill yourself by clayton jennings Please, don't kill yourself I'm talking to you And I don't pretend to know everything that you've been through But if it's shame you feel, just know that I've sinned too And if it's pain you're feeling Just know that that's something I went through I don't know your story, but I know you and me are a lot alike So let me talk to you for a minute while I've got this mic I was 18 when I pulled a gun out At the time it felt like my options had run out So I put that barrel to my chest, and I pulled the trigger halfway I tried to muster up the courage to put myself away that day But halfway with that trigger pulled, I stopped Tears flooded my eyes and that pistol dropped And I sat in my room and I sobbed for an hour On the outside I was fine, on the inside a coward The noise of my depression had gotten louder and louder I had planned a way out on a baptism shower of gunpowder I've been lied to just like you're being lied to now Other people can't help you, but I might know how Because I've walked in your shoes and I've been at my lowest And if you don't know anything, know this You might tell me you're gonna kill yourself and you're close to this But God wants to meet you in the middle of your hopelessness God wants to give you a way out of these feelings of doubt And the sounds of chaos might be reverberating around you like heavy metal But confusion isn't from God, it's straight from the devil And he wants to silence the noise and bring peace to you And I promise if you just ask him, he'll see you through You got to this place because you tried fighting your own fight And where did that get you except contemplating about taking your own life? And if you got bullied to this point I'm sorry you went through that But God wants to take those words From your attackers and send them back You don't have to be defined by what people said about you Let me pick you up if you don't know how to You're not alone, man, you've got a friend in me You got better days ahead of you, I just pray you begin to see Know that everything the devil did to you, he wants you to replay But everything the devil took from you, God wants to replace Listen to me right now, you better look me right in the face You were created for more than to die in this place Don't do it man, please, don't take your life Just take my hand we'll make this right I promise if you do this you'll regret it You wake up in eternity remember, I said it And you wished so bad you could just go back I'm here for you right now, please, just know that And if you think you're alone in this fight, you've been lied to That depression came after me and I nearly died too I thought suicide was the only way and death was meant for me The devil played his music and I sat front row through that symphony I walked through the fire and I felt that heat But I pushed past the clutter and I stood to my feet I walked out and I refuse to look back I took my depression and threw it right back, into that wood stack And that fire must have blazed 50 feet high And now I plan on leaving a legacy to look back on some day when I die And right now I'm telling you to stand up too Deep down inside, you know it's the right thing to do Think about your family, think about you Don't kill yourself, please, don't do it Whatever you're facing God will see you through it I had a fan kill himself and his mom asked if I could come see her She was depressed and asked if I could meet her Two weeks later depression beat her She ran into a telephone pole without a seat belt in a two seater And I wish right now I could crawl through these speakers And somehow convince you not to go the same route she did I wish I could change the fact that you feel defeated I wish I could lock my arms around you and tell the devil to beat it But I can't reach everyone even though I do my best to try Some people believe the lie that it's just best to die And they think it's the simple way out But they're not here to see the way things play out They don't see the hurt they caused, the pain they leave I take this seriously, this isn't a game to me Even thinking about ending your life is living dangerously So please, just listen to my voice, right now you have a choice You can choose life or you can get drowned by the noise Please, don't do it, please, just ask for help If not for your family, do it for yourself

this where i go sometimes please die by clayton jennings Look at you, you're pathetic And this isn't the first time I've said it Look at you standing tall with that chest puffed out Inside your insecurities are just dying to bust out You're a bust now You're lucky those pills haven't snuffed you out You cut your friends off, so you got nobody to trust now But you did this to you I hope you're proud every time you end up back in the news And you really think we care when you announce you're back in the booth Nobody's got your back, and it's true I hope I see you beat until you're black and you're blue Give me that head, and I'll crack it in two 'Cause the old you is missing when you were back with the crew Back then you had the anointing, and you were passionate, too I know you've thought about it, just do it you coward and fasten that noose That guilt keeps piling up, so who you passing it to? 'Cause God knows you never own up to your own mistakes You're a fraud in an industry of fakes Stiff spine? Yours bends 'til it breaks And you talk about Jesus, but you don't live like Him And you tell people to help others, but you don't give like them What ever happened to the old you? I knew you'd end up like this, man, I told you You spent more time dating than praying Cat got your tongue? Do you hear what I'm saying? Well, that cat's out of the bag now, and that spotlight's fading You could have been somebody, you could have done things right You got an army behind you, but you'd rather run than stand up and fight What's wrong with you man?! Wake up For God's sake, stop sulking your regrets and shape up This is bigger than you Don't you see? This is bigger than me Is this the man you want your daughter to see? One day, she'll grow up and say, "He was no father to me" And what about those kids who look up to you? You can't even drag yourself out of bed, man, what's up with you?! You were called to be different, and you were made to be great But when I see you, I see everything that I hate You're a messenger who's a mess, you're down and depressed And if you don't get help, you're gonna die like this I told myself I wouldn't cry like this But look at you man, what are you doing?! Watching you suffer like this is grueling But you chose to love your sin more than your Maker And you blame them for what happened, but you're the faker And you keep playing in the dirt like it's gonna satisfy you I might just pull this trigger, would you be mad if I do? Do it, coward, you won't because you're scared, too And don't blame me for where we're at, you were there, too You could have done something (I couldn't stop you!) You could have asked for help, but you didn't because of your pride Our sins are out in public now, and we have nothing to hide, and that kills you inside I'm the part of us who doesn't care about the past or what we do And you have no idea what your high expectations have put us through And now that we're failures, it kills you, too Give up the chip on your shoulder, Clayton, don't lie You're really the one who wants us to die So if you wanna pull a gun on us, here, so will I

years ago i messed around with a married woman i met here. i rewrote dan seals everything that glitters about that. Saw the picture that you posted, in a cafe out in Phoenix Guess you got a new sweetheart whose name is Joe As for me I’m still Ghosty, and I still chat at Worthy But in a hotel room that I now call home And I still pray for you all the time But I guess I never even cross your mind But oh sometimes I think about you And the way we used to hang out In my rebellion and your secrets With all the lust in the air And other men will always love you But as for me I've come to know Everything that glitters is not gold Well my faith is getting older, but last Saturday I stumbled But you know I never let that sin show In the Lord I’m still growing and I’m starting to ask questions Cause there's certain things a man just doesn't know Many birthdays came and you never even called I guess I never cross your mind at all But then sometimes I think about you And the way we used to hang out In my rebellion and your secrets With all the lust in the air And other men will always love you But as for me I've come to know Everything that glitters is not gold Everybody said I’d regret you one day And I guess that they were right is all I can say But someday I'm sure your gonna know the cost Cause for every heart you win, parts of yours is lost But oh sometimes I think about you And the way we used to hang out In my rebellion and your secrets With all the lust in the air And other men will always love you But as for me I've come to know Everything that glitters is not gold

thanks for more of these replies. its good to know that im not alone in struggling with addiction. sometimes it feels that way. there have been times when i wanted to end my life because i thought that would stop the pain and agony over going back and forth. especially after my first arrest. i lost everything. i lost my job, where i lived, all my money, friends and family, relationships with females and i ended up homeless. up til that point i was living good. i had a good paying job, i had many things, i had both self-respect and respect from people, i was sort of popular. i said that " my kingdom burned" and there was nothing i could do about it. toady im trying to rebuild some of that back and im working on getting this out of my life because if i dont then im just gonna lose what i managed to rebuild already. the other day when i was reading what was said i was reminded that a person from an organization asked me if i was intrested in a mens group that they have for other people who struggle with addictions and its not a na or aa type of thing but its just a group of guys who meet up every 2 weeks and encourage each other. i told him i would be and he said that he would get back to me about the next time there was a meeting. i havent heard back from him and i forgot about it until yesterday. im gonna call him and see when the next meeting is.

thank you for your responses. i wasnt sure what kind i would get so i was hesitant to post this. i 1/2 expected resondes like "youre not a christian at all". when i was in prison i took some programs that helped me figure out the why of my addiction. and i learned that i do it to offset the negitive emotions i feel. i deal with loneliness, some depression, unhappiness, a lot of it centers around what i perceive as a man. i see what a man should be and i dont measure up. to me a man is physically strong and im not. most of my life i weighed less than 120 lbs im built lean and skinny. so i tried to prove myself worthy of a woman and when that failed i would go into negative feelings then to my fix.