TechEnthusiast

I am so sorry that has been your experience. Friends are a very very good thing. It's heart breaking to hear that you have had such a bad experience with them.

I think when we talk about he fact that God can do what he wants that we should acknowledge something very important. God is good so so good. I suppose it really depends on how you define good. I think that God is the creator of all good things and though He does do things that cause pain, He has a very very good reason for it. God created laughter, fun, and feasts. He created friendship, and love. He is not an arbitrary tyrant who does as He pleases on some random whim. He is a Benevolent wise and good King who does what he pleases. This is a very very important distinction. The way that Jobs friends treated Job disgusted God. I mention this because just telling people God does what he wants is just what they did. This topic is very very important and should be handled with great care.

I am not trying to be a jerk but Job rebukes his "friends" for their lack of compassion. God does not have to answer to us, but we will answer to him if we are not compassionate.

Is it possible that your question is more about suffering and less about choice?

if you are hurting super badly I am so sorry. I know it must be very hard to deal sometimes. Suicide isn't the answer. Be easy friend.

Its not strange at all. People have busied themselves so much that they have no time for anything but their family and work. In the church the huge majority are families. a lot of the time people have a weird idea that the reason single people don't go to church is because there are no programs for them. I think that a lot of single people really really want community because they don't have much. They want people to hang out with them. They want people to play games with. They want people to play sports with. They want people to eat meals with during the week. The model of the church atm is family/extended family or barely anything. You are not alone.

Can love grow quite cold in the confines of church? To me it doesn't seem to matter if people grow up in Christian homes. Jesus needs to change them or they will be the same as the world.they may not curse and do some outward things that perhaps convince some that they are different, but not many things that have substance. When Jesus talks to the pharisees I think that people are still like that. You sit next to the rich can be interpreted today as you can hang with the poor but you choose all of the "desirable ones". You sit back and see the rich people heaped with praise as if they are sages of wisdom and righteousness. People love to praise the rich and skillful. It seems like surely people would of changed two thousand years later right? There is literally no amount of social grooming that will help you see true light without Jesus. an extensive upbringing does nothing meaningful! The only way you will love the way that Jesus loves is if Jesus gets to you. I used to be so scared about Christians who where deceived, but now I go back to the cross quickly most times(sometimes it takes me a bit longer). I think true intense suffering is required too. Without it you will tell the suffering to trust Jesus every time they scream and cry for your help. You could hug them and play a board game with them. There are many many kind things you could do. Most likely the huge majority will tell them I will pray for you. Great suffering is needed! Suffering teaches you love. Its not easy suffering. Its painful suffering in the dark and all alone. I pray for great sufferingfor the church because perhaps that will help them become more loving.

Remember that people in your life really need to have people spend time with them. There are a lot of people who spent all of their time alone. It is very hard to be all alone. I hope that people will get that and spend a little more time with people who need them.

It will never cease to me the variety Of people. There are the encouragers. There are the your doing it Wrongers. Also encouragement Often turns into advice that takes all the Goodness of that encouragement Away. Church needs to act like the New testament church. They really Need to love each other and not Let culture drown own God's love. Culture dictates that Christians have 2 to 4 kids a job And no time for outsiders. It would be fine if it where s few But it's the vast majority of The church and really what are People to do? The church in its Current state is sink or swim On your own. If your 100 percent, autonomous then you are fine. For now the culture war has won. It made a bunch of single people And gave them no hope or Reason to go to church. Looks are valued to highly. Abilities are valued to highly. Money is valued too highly. Singles are ignored. A lot of churches look healthy, but They are a dumpster fire. How could love be absent? How can they just redefine what Love is. People have redefined Family as well. Now they don't have to love Or be a family to outsiders. Just some random thoughts. This reminds me of when the Pharisees changed the rules so they didn't have to help their parents in their old age.

Why do church people not invite people to their houses? I remeber thinking it was because I was different than I was told no one hangs out with anyone else for months at a time? The thing is that people who have family have a measure of company even if its not perfect. They don't seem to even get that there are so many people who desperately need company. It is so very painful. personally i don't even ask for money or anything(apart from a ride). This is very confusing to me. How is this anything even sort of close to the new testament. They sold all they had and put it in a pool(not asking for this). They won't even spend some time with me. How is this Christian? I hear that its different other places, but I wonder. The reason is is American Christanity has spread quite a lot.

me to0 man me too. Even though I can't be there in real life. If you ever need someone to listen, I will do my best.

thats cool ?. I am happy that that worked out for ya :D. I am also happy that there are people that you can tell about Jesus.

I go to church btw. I will say with a reasonable degree of certainty that if you are poor it is many times harder than what your saying. People expect a lot more than they even know. Often there is literally nothing you can do to get people to include you. I know that you might want to think better of people who go to church but Ill tell you its not that way. if your car was taken and your money and your vocational and social skills were all taken and then you moved I promise you it would feel impossible to find people to connect with. I know that people want to think highly of people who go to church. They are gigantic sinners that are clean on the outside.

One of the main reasons that I write this is for other people who are struggling with loneliness. There is at least another person out there who understands what your going through. I have found over the years that if you have no car, money, or family. You will largely be left alone except for perhaps holidays. Church isn't really good at giving a home for single poorer people. Generally the excuses are I have a job and a family I have no time. Another one is nobody spends any time with anyone else because everyone is busy. You will get a lot of your never alone God is always with you. You may even get you have made peoples love your idol. I don't think others understand that being close to other Christians is very important. This means wayy more than 15 minutes on Sunday after the service. They don't get that its hard to grow without real and true community. I think a lot of well meaning people just want to have it all in this life. They think that just because they don't pursue millions of dollars or fame that that means that they aren't pursuing this life. Yet they spend almost 0 time with people who can't give anything to them. The real reason why singles don't go to church is there is seriously not a home for them there. There won't be many invitations to come over and hang out after church. There won't be many come hang out with us during the week. I am not saying this to depress anyone and I truly hope that you and I find a place where professing Christians will truly be our family. Don't be surprised if you encounter this. Also, don't give up God. The story of the poor man Lazarus used to really terrify me, but now it is a reminder that yes God does love me(and you)even if the church won't make us a part of their family.

I don't think its literal. The point is that people give advice and usually aren't willing to help in any real way. They give you tough advice and expect you to do it on your own.

A little dark... I have found this to be pretty accurate. The church I am not sure for the most part is much different than the world. If you are talented in music, good looking and you have a good job you will be fine in church. if you don't oh boy its not gonna be a good time. I love my church its the best one I have ever found, but I still am relegated to Sundays an occasional talk on the phone for an hour when someone is driving(one or two don't just talk to me when I they are driving.). It can go weeks before I get to talk to someone on the phone during the week. There is a lot of pain in my life; however, I know Almighty loves me. I know that He is going to be so fun to be around in Heaven. It is not true that it doesn't matter who you are in church. It matters greatly. I love my church, but it seems to me that even though they do a couple of good things they truly want their best life now and don't even know it.

People will from time to time give me the poke your eye out if it causes you to sin speech. I don't have any family. Its not like they are going to be spend a lot of time with me to fix my loneliness and help me recover from a poked out eye. I do not believe that you should physically poke out your eye. Life is pretty tough for me and honestly most of the time I am left alone to fend for myself. Cut off your hand and bleed and die alone because you are too much work for any of us to help in any real way. Its not like they are going to let me move in with them or spend 10 hours a week with me to help me get through it. Its sin to not cut off your hand;however, it is not sin to see your brother suffering and ignore it because its not really your responsibility. You responsibility is to your family and friends and the people who are easy to be around. Cut off your hand and poke out your eye and bleed alone no one will miss you. OUCH.......

I am single, have no car and its unlikely I will get married. Up until recently I have been incredibly socially awkward. The churches that I have been to don't seem to have anything real for singles. It seems like a place where people who are socially acceptable, have families, and have money go to congregate. You are told that you are accepted because you have Repented and trusted in Jesus. You are then left mostly alone and left to fend for yourself. You have to figure out how to find "YOUR PEOPLE". The thing is I thought that your local church was supposed to be your family. Often I feel very very lonely to the point of emotional and physical pain, but they have families and other responsibilities and we are somewhat spread out and I have no car. I feel very very neglected by the people I love and the church that I love(It has taken me a long time to find a church). It just seems like everyone wants a family, but the truth of the matter is that if you have a family you choose that because it will take most of your time. Do even the best Christians want their best life now and not even know it? In reality you get to have a true church family if you are good at being social, have money, have a car, and have a lot of things in common with the people who go to your church. Other than that you will be relegated to Sundays and Bible studies. won't leave out my friend who gives me a ride to work, but that is not the norm and before I got a job I lacked a job, car, social skills, any type of skills, I was left alone and no one felt at all responsible for the man who had not very much to offer.

I didn't say just abide in the Lord. I want to try and be there for you too. If you love Jesus, I love you.

I am so sorry you are hurting. I don't really know how to fix loneliness other than try to be kind here! You can direct message me whenever! I am here for you man. I don't know of much pain worse than loneliness. I am with you!