Figure of eighty

2 hours ago, Selah7 said:

God understands.  Just talk to Him about your anger, sister.  Pour out your heart to Him and remind Him of His promises.  See, it’s not that God has forgotten any of His promises to us, but He wants to know if we know them.  Just cry out to Him.  Praying something like, “Father, You promised You would always help me, so please, please help me. Take away this terrible anger and show me what I should do now!” would be reminding Him of His promise in Psalm 121:1-2.

Put Me in remembrance; Let us contend together; State your case, that you may be acquitted. 
- Isaiah 43:26 (NKJV)

A Song of Ascents. I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.

- Psalm 121:1-2 (NKJV)

Thank you.

When I read these comments  I feel like a lost cause. Trials make me incredibly angry and I do lash out at God. Idk what to do about it.

12 hours ago, Jayne said:

I have WILD dreams.  I won't talk about that here.

This dream you've had is disturbing to you, I can tell.  And yes, God does want you to repent and stay away from all sins, especially habitual ones.  He wants that for all of us.

However, I don't feel God would personally send you this dream in particular to get that point across - ESPECIALLY about suicide.

God loves you, even in your circumstances that bring you stress and pain.  He is there.

Do you have a counselor?  I've been seeing one for 11 months now and he is really helping me with my anxiety, depression, and grief over my parents dying.  I am finding recovery over these things to be slower moving that I wanted, but things are moving.

I'll be praying.

it was disturbing. Im nor sure if ir was him or not but it was so specific in the way it addressed the issue that I wasnt changing and kept sinning. 

And then with the suicide thing I wonder maybe if its a spiritual death ...idk

So idk i will keep asking for clarity.

I totally get being tired. Going through a special hell of my own . All i can say is youre not alone.

16 hours ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Listen to your lawyer not dfs. I wouldn't trust dfs any farther then I can throw them. Ask your lawyer if you should show up or not.

Thats a good idea. Ill defintely ask. 

54 minutes ago, The_Patriot21 said:

If the court gave you full custody and him none then you absolutely have the right to tell him no to all his requests.

Whether you appear in his court or not depends on how much you trust your lawyer. Yes he probably will lie. If your lawyer is good he will represent you well and point out the lies. 

And there maybe a good reason not to. If your easily provoked, he could elicit an emotional response from you in court which may not work well In your favor and it maybe best to take your lawyers advice.

 

The court didnt give me full custody. Im saying the Lawyer said bc me and him are not married he has no legal rights to our daughter but Im thinking of getting full custody. 

And the lawyer didn't tell me to not show up for court. It was the dfcs child support case worker I talked to she said I didn't have to.

55 minutes ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Whether your wrong or not depends...

Have you talked to your lawyer about this? If the visitation is court ordered and you refuse to allow him to visit that could come back on you and work against you in court.

On the other hand you mention no AC...one could argue you refused due to neglect or child abuse....but this only works if you bring in law enforcement and press charges. 

Again, consult your lawyer before doing anything, as law can be confusing first off, and second Canadian law is different then American law which most people here are. And document everything.

And you mention every time you break up...well stop getting back together if he's this toxic.

I am no longer with him. I talked to a lawyer they said bc we aren't married he has no rights at all.  He's going to court for child support. I wanted to go but they told me only hes required to go but he sais he was going to talk to the judge and im afraid he may lie about some things.

41 minutes ago, Jayne said:

Does he have court-ordered visitation rights already.   I'm not clear on that.

Why do you keep going back to this man?  I'm not being flippant or nosey about that. 

You are in my prayers.

Im done. We are done. Im just raising my child. The back and forth before was because I thought he could be a better man and dad but A year is enough to show me he wont change.( Home life isnt the best so i thought i could depend on him and we build a life together. I was wrong) 

No he doesnt have court ordered visits. I talked to a lawyer rhey said he has no rights.

I feel like my life is falling apart. I lost my job.. My car stopped on me and my anxiety is worse..i feel like its turning into ocd. 

I feel like a lost cause. 

Some good news i have an interview for a remote position on monday. 

10 hours ago, JohnR7 said:

Are you trying hard to put all your faith, hope, love and trust in God. He does not ever disappoint us. (NASB) Romans 10:11

Im so busy and stressed. I really dont have time to pray. I tried last night and fell asleep. 

Also im really afraid to trust God. Ive just been struggling even with him. Even when i was dedicating my life to him at one point.

On 8/7/2022 at 7:55 AM, JohnPaul88 said:

@Figure of eighty sorry to hear that, is it possible you can get government assistance until you sort things out and geta new job?

Child support is in the works right now. 

I was thinking of getting tanf but his ct date is in Sept. 

Seems really close but i do need money now bc i have nothing right now.

Update. My boss called and i had to let the job go. She needs someone dependable. I dont have anyone to watch the kids and I have no car to get to work so.. 

Yeah. 

Back at square 1.

Update. My car stopped completely it stopped in the middle of the street. I feel everything i worked hard for is going up in smoke.

Im still applying to remote positions.

16 hours ago, Charlie744 said:

I am very sorry to hear about your situation... it must be so difficult without a partner or family members to help you. You have already received the best advice from members within this forum - pray to  God and believe He will be there for you and your family. Without the faith (second part) the prayer is unfinished.

I don't know what your job is but you have to try and look at this as a short term issue:

1) Pray and believe in Him (as already mentioned by others... and the best),

2) You have already gone on FMLA so that should relieve some pressure in the short term,

3) Can you provide all or some of your services to this company remotely? (as already mentioned by others),

4) I don't know how this works but I would urge you to look into it - establish a "Go fund me account" telling the readers exactly what you are facing and if they would be willing to contribute to your short term concerns. That would be seen and felt by so many Christians I know your God would draw their attention to it.

5) Can you also place a similar type request through your church's site?

6)  I don't know if or how your request for assistance can be connected within this forum or not (how members might offer their financial assistance and help), but if there is a way, I am sure the wonderful folks that administer this site may have their own suggestions ....

7) Oh, did I mention you should prayer and believe? You have already succeeded far more than you may have expected... those within this forum are indeed praying for you and your family...

Best wishes always, and please continue with your updates, Charlie

So im kinda unsure abt my job. My boss said ill be on fmla but my coworker texted me saying my boss said i probably won't come back. So idk i dont think ill stay with company. It was super unorganized anyway ( alot of people didnt get checks and some were in florida) 

So maybe remote work is for the best buuuut. My boss was super understanding i hope i get that again bc its hard to work with kids getting sick and daycare closing.

20 hours ago, Ghostdog said:

why dont you try a work from home job? theres plenty out there

Yeah. Im looking into them. Even though job loss sucks there's opportunity for better. 

Im applying now and hopefully ill get something with benefits.

Told my boss. Im on fmla.

Update- Well my car is on the fritz and going out. So i think its done which means im going to lose my job, i cant move. Everything i worked hard for is gone. 

I feel like Im in crisis mode. I think Im in danger of losing my job. My boss has been so understanding but I've called out too many times. Im talking 1 to 2 or 3 days off a week since I've been working.(June) I called my coworker today and she said she was really annoyed.

And it looks so unreliable. 

But i literally can't help it. Either the  daycare is closed for stupid teachers work day or my kids are sick. I have no one to watch them baby sitters( no friends and family doesnt help) are expensive(15an hr) thats more than i make in a day's pay. 

My account is in the negative. Im praying i dont lose this job its all i have..everything I worked hard for will be gone. My car and possibility of moving out.. 

To top it off. I need dental work done..root canals but i may have to put it off. 

I just feel so screwed. idk what to do.

Im trying really hard to take care of kids and something as simple as that is a challenge. I feel like Im atoning for my sins of having kids oow. Im trying my best to make things right and better but im having issues.  

Idk why nothing is working Im trying so hard. It took me.a month to find this job.

Just asking for prayer to not lose this job please.

On 7/17/2022 at 7:06 PM, Heleadethme said:

Well, as a mother who gave birth out of wedlock when I was truly a lost soul, I can say that pregnancy, birth and either raising the child without a father, or giving it up for adoption, is much much more than a mere inconvenience, and often it is even a long running tragedy and sorrow that one never recovers from.  I hope we can find it in our heart to extend some understanding and charity to young women who wind up facing that situation, especially in a society that is actively giving them the message that their chief value lies in being a sex object.

Actually I don't believe that we as the church really are in the business of making and enforcing laws.  That's not the mandate Jesus gave to us.   If the church was as busy spreading the gospel the way it used to, I can't help but think we'd be seeing less fornication and rape, hence fewer unwanted pregnancies and abortions.  Ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

It is hard. Im living it.

On 7/17/2022 at 11:52 PM, JohnR7 said:

The issue is getting into Heaven. The child goes to Heaven and if the mother wants to go to Heaven she will have to be reconciled with her child. I actually had a very vivid dream about my daughter in Heaven. 

Reconciled how?

On 7/17/2022 at 1:19 PM, Jayne said:

Unlike someone who just quoted me, I don't believe that "sometimes abortions are necessary."  I don't believe them to be necessary at all.

What I do find necessary is for Christians to go FAR beyond the anti-abortion mantra and do the very hard work of actually being pro-life - all the way.

I've asked a question two times on this thread and gotten no response.  Crickets chirping.

I'll ask a third time.

Let's say it's your 9 year old daughter, 16 year old neice, 27 year old sister, or 48 year old mother.  

And she is raped.  

And discovering that she is pregnant, she is a hot mess.  Traumatized at carrying a rapist's child.  Mentally undone and a wreck, refusing to carry the child.

What does the Christian family member do?  How you treat her will tell you if you are truly pro-life or not or just anti-abortion.

You can say all day that, "well, the baby didn't do anything wrong" and that is TRUE, but WHAT DO YOU DO with your raped famiy member?  How treat them BOTH, the unborn and the raped child or teen or grown woman speaks volumes as to your beliefs.

What  do we do with the traumazed female who is refusing to carry the baby of the man who raped her?

Personally, I would like to see the baby have a chance to be born.

It's  a question that needs to be answered.

 

This is very hard. All i know is if my 10yr old daughter was raped.. Id be too busy in jail for beating the person near death that did it and Id let my mom continue raising my girl. 

Thats my honest answer. 

2 hours ago, Ray12614 said:

My children have caused me innumerable inconviences, yet at no time have I contemplated killing them. 2 wrongs do not make it right.

Same. I kept my kids. Kids are hard but if you put yourself in thr situation to have kids then you need to own up and take responsibility and I might maybe 80% of the people that want abortions  do it for selfish reasons . They dont want to be inconvenienced and want to continue leading their life. This is the majority of prochoicers. They just hide behind the assault victims and put them at the front of their movement.

On 7/15/2022 at 10:40 AM, servant4christ said:

There has been a rather publicized case here in the US of a 10 year-old girl that became pregnant after being raped. There is no reasonable argument that a 10 year-old girl should be forced to have a baby. This is one of the reasons why an outright ban on abortion is not a good idea.

I agree. Im against abortion but no 10yr old at that age should be carrying a child to term. At this point alot of people seem to want to win an argument then look at the big picture. Sometimes abortions are needed.

On 7/15/2022 at 10:31 AM, Deborah_ said:

For most women, to become pregnant as a result of rape is a continuation of the assault. Having dealt with many rape victims through my career, I can assure you that most of them fear pregnancy more than they fear catching sexually transmitted infections.

This is why even strict anti-abortion laws usually make an exception for rape.

Now I would agree that the baby in such a case is innocent and deserves a chance to live - but few women can cope psychologically with carrying such a pregnancy to term (even if the baby is then adopted). It's hard even for Christians, it's almost impossible for unbelievers.

Thankfully the advent of emergency contraception has made pregnancy after rape much rarer.

Agreed.

On 7/15/2022 at 1:56 PM, Jayne said:

But were there mothers 9 years old?  There was a 9  year old in Argentina several years ago who was raped by a family member and became pregnant.  The reason that it made world-wide news was that her mother didn't want her 9 year old to carry the baby full term and their church, a Catholic church was forbidding the abortion.  They were forbidding the mother and the doctor.

I could not come to terms with an answer for myself.  I hate abortion, but I also hate the thought of a 9 year old ballooning in size to carry a full term baby and her tiny body going through birth.

I have trouble with the idea of Christians "forcing" woman and little female children carry a child of a rapist.

If they can do it, I believe they should. But what if they can't?

 

I have trouble with that too. Like i said its more of people wanting to win am argument. A lot of people don't want to put in the work to actually make a difference. They'll say well theres plenty of charities and pregnancy crisis centers but its still not enough. I truly feel if you believe the life of unborn children and children period is valuable you'll put your money where your mouth is. Its not enough to say well someone else is doing it-- no you do something to because with the influx of children coming alot of help will be needed. Thats why when a coworker told me about her possibly being pregnant I told her I have clothes, diapers, a carrier..anything she needs bc Its hard. It takes help..it takes a village not lazy feel good one liners. It takes actual help. That part many arent willing to do.

14 hours ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Last I checked the baby didn't cause the rape so why should the baby be punished for it? If someone were to say murder my wife would it be ok to just go murder someone else's wife? It's the same logic...punishing the innocent for the crimes of someone else is in no way just, loving, nor Christlike.

No they didn't but I understand not wanting to be traumatized further. What if the victim was your wife? Would you be okay raising and loving a child that isnt yours but conceived in this manner? Im not for abortion i just feel some situations may require it.

 Hes not.