Figure of eighty

21 hours ago, Fidei Defensor said:

God is Good irrespective of how we feel about his Goodness.

Can man judge God?

To quote Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?” (Job 38:4) 

When will we let God be God and stop questioning his goodness, his plan, and ways which are “higher than your ways.” (Isaiah 55:9)? 
 

Sometimes I feel we lack proper reverence, He is God and Superior in every-way, for example He created you!, and yet people try to put Him on trial when we all see through “a glass dimly/darkly,” (1 Corinthians 13:12)?
 

 

I think you're right. This is very true.

21 hours ago, enoob57 said:

When we understand God eternal intentions in the Garden of Eden  >AND< and how we messed that up... isn't it right we should drink the cup of our doing?

This is true but not everyone does. Some people really do skate through life.

On 7/6/2022 at 12:28 AM, LearningToLetGo said:

I don't mean to sound difficult but what would life be like if God did not allow bad things to happen? No crime. No disease. No war. No suffering of any kind. How would that affect human development? We would probably still be naked, living in forests. We would have no incentive to change, or grow, or improve ourselves in any way. We would be stunted, held back, more like animals than humans. In other words we would not be in God's image. Like it or not we need suffering in order to grow. God knows this.

I think we'd be incredible spoiled. You are right about that. Still sometimes i feel like God is laughing at me when I struggle. I feel i cant trust Him or turn to him when Im struggling bc I genuinely feel he doesnt care bc if He did I feel he would help me.

On 7/7/2022 at 8:25 PM, BeyondET said:

If it wasn't allowed then He would have to control everyone and everything, that's not logical.

Huh?

Like the title says. I wonder bc God allows alot of stuff to happen. 

On 5/16/2022 at 6:03 PM, The_Patriot21 said:

Im not calling you a liar...im just saying you consistently come on here with problem after problem with your parents...and the solution remains the same...stand up to them or move out.

Unfortunately, from the sounds of your family standing up to them will either make things worse or get you kicked out.

The bottom line is this...it is their house, their rules. Unless they have a heart change your best shot is to move out. 

I dont know your local shelters, or how safe or dangerous they are, and from your wording i dont think you do either. I would encourage you to check one out...even if you dont choose to stay at one they often have access to resources to help people in your position, be it contacts for work, low income housing, whatever. 

Fact of the matter is, nothing in your life will change until you do. You need to step up and do something, something more then getting on the internet and asking strangers for help, then refusing to heed any advice given.

Like marathon told you...we cant force you to get help. This isnt the movies, supermans not gonna barge in through the roof and magically fix things for you.

All we can do is pray and offer advice...both of which we are doing.

This is true. Its their house. Im trying to leave. I have a job that'll prayerfully start in 2 weeks. Im not looking for anyone to save me Im trying to do that myself. Anywho if it comes down to it I'll do hotel living I guess.

3 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said:

I know she's been here a while and often does complain about the same thing but I'm still willing to believe the best about our sister in Christ and that she's trying to the best of her ability. As someone who's been abused by and very much under the thumb of my family in the past I know it can be hard to escape. I tried for years and still failed, and that was without being burdened by children. God delivered me in His time. That's all there was to it. To people who haven't been thoroughly trapped by adversarial relatives, severe anxiety issues, and so on it can seem mind boggling that a person can stay in an undesirable situation for so long, but it does happen.

As for the original post... God knows your situation and the people you live with. Just pray, redouble your efforts to get out, and keep in mind that our God is well aware that there are things outside our control. He's protecting us even when we don't know it.

Thank you for stating this. I feel people who havent been in your shoes just dont get it. Im not willingly staying here. Im looking and applying daily. I am trying.

14 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

You've been coming to the forum for a long time, @Figure of eighty. We pray for you and we offer you encouragement, comfort, and counsel. Some of us with experience in these matters have informed you of services and avenues you may seize upon to remove your children from this situation. 

You evidence no will nor desire to take your baby away from this father who listens to devil-worshipping music. There are shelters which welcome mothers and their children, but such a place is beneath you as you've written in the past. You've stated that you don't hear God, and yet He speaks to you through the hearts of His servants. 

I understand that newer members aren't familiar with the above but you certainly are, my friend. You know what it is you must do and until you walk in what has been given to you, nothing will change.

Like I stated earlier I AM TRYING. Im applying daily for jobs and going on interview after interview. Im on assistance. I never said shelters were beneath me.. Shelters seem dangerous to me  my only other option would be just moving with my bf. 

Again my focus was on the music in this thread. Not the living situation.

1 hour ago, chongjasmine83 said:

Try to keep your dad from having your baby. If for some reasons, you can't do so, cover your baby with Jesus' blood in prayers.

Thank you.

2 hours ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Why did you let your dad take your baby??

It seems your on here frequently, complaining of all the same thing over and over, and youve been given the solution over and ovee again-move out.

Yet you ignore all advice given and come back with virtually the same complaint.

So let me ask you, what exactly is it you hope to gain with these posts?

I can show you an excel sheet of all the jobs ive applied to and have been rejected from. I went to an interview yesterday. Im looking Im always looking. 

I even got " hired" just for a job to tell me the day before I start work that the position has been filled already. 

So im looking and looking hard. Im even considering hotel living bc of this.  Im trying to move out. I filed for CS. I. Am. Trying.

And i didnt let my dad take him i was sleeping with both kids and I guess my son woke up and he dad took him and I heard the music and my bro and dad getting loud. 

And in this particular post I was concerned about the music mainly. Its not like my other posts.

On 5/5/2022 at 11:37 PM, JohnR7 said:

Does the child understand? I had a dream about my daughter in Heaven. If you want to go to Heaven you will need to be reconciled with them. Life is always the right choice. Period the end. We do not have to understand or figure it out. That is just the way it is. 

Deuteronomy 30:19 
I call on heaven and earth as witnesses today that I have offered you life or death, blessings or curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants will live 

Wdym you have to be reconciled with them? You have to pray for forgiveness for the baby too?

My dad looked up and played devil worship music loudly at 3a to get under my brother's skin bc hes a minister. 

However, he took my baby in witb him and had him listening to it telling him to let it in .

Im worried.  Will prayer keep my son safe? Im really annoyed bc I know what you expose yourself to is a big deal spiritually. 

On 2/16/2020 at 4:54 AM, ayin jade said:

Im struggling to put any of this into words. 

As far as forgiving the cop who caused the accident, all I can say is I know how hard it is to forgive. I also know that sometimes it cant be done without the Lord. When a man murdered my brother in law, I had to call out to the Lord daily to soften my heart so I could forgive. It helped to pray for that mans salvation frequently. .... Taking break to spare a prayer now for his soul. ...

My life changed with cancer. I am not the woman I was before cancer. My faith didnt waiver but my body is not good. I admit to wondering why I am going through these side effects. Wondering how much more I will lose. My feet and hands have neuropathy. My hands dont work as well. Fine motor control is not there. So things like my quilting, playing the harp, even just opening a bottle is a struggle. My balance is off. My feet hurt all the time. I cant sweat any more, so living in the desert I am at risk for overheating. One eye is blurred because I cant produce tears. The artificial tears dont work too well in me. Now my other eye is starting to dry up too. Will I lose my vision? I try not to talk about it. No complaints ... or at least not too many ... but I also am feeling a bit useless these days. I cant really do much. I dont feel I contribute much of value on the forums or in chat lately. I sometimes even wonder if there is a purpose for me any more. 

Well now Ive depressed myself lol. 

Actually my life changed just before cancer too. My husband lost his job for 8 months prior to getting diagnosed with cancer. He was not able to get work during treatment and still cant, not until I can be left on my own. So far, I cant even open the front door of my home. 

Indeed life can certainly change. This is not how I pictured my later years. 

Praise the Lord in all things though. He has done many miracles all this time. Without Him I wouldnt have had the cancer caught until it was far too late. Without Him, I would have had a rougher time. Somehow He will see me through all of this too. 

Oh you sweet soul. Im so sorry for everything youre going through but your faith in your trials encourage me greatly.

On 4/16/2022 at 7:45 PM, TheBlade said:

There are much worse cases out there yet its the same answer.. its never ok. A baby that goes right to heaven never experiencing this world are ..not like angels yet are. By that I mean they long to know to understand all this.  Theres something to this life that GOD wants all of us to experience.

Well just think about it.. we as man in a fallen world believe its far better for a baby to just die and go to heaven. Yet the Father would rather them live their life here. Again it was is never will be ok for abortion. 

This was beautifully written. 

16 hours ago, Deborah_ said:

I know that people sometimes get into situations where abortion seems to be the lesser evil. And it's difficult then to judge them, especially when it's too late for the better solutions (such as contraception) to be applied.

But there always is a better solution. And although your friend's situation may be desperate now, there's always potential to change it. She can get out... if she really wants to, and if she seeks help. Perhaps you can encourage her to get help?

Many years ago, I met a lady who had been on her way to the clinic to have an abortion when she was involved in a car accident and ended up in hospital. By the time she was fit enough again to have the abortion, it was too late... so she went on to have the baby. But it was as a result of having that baby that she met the man who later became her husband - so in the end God turned it all to good.

Thats a beautiful ending. I hope the swme happens for her. Shes just really struggling with schizophrenia. 

I know the knee jerk reaction would be to say yes but.. I just think of a friend of mine who has a child and i kinda feel guilty bc i kinda talked her into keeping the baby. Hes a lovely boy but shes in an abusive situation and bc of it her mental health deteriorated so much. In and out od hospitals. She cant really work or take care of baby without the help of her abuser. 

She couldnt do adoption bc he wanted the baby and wouodnt let her. He also has rights. I just wonder if God understands abortion in cases like these. 

Sometimes i wonder if i did the right thing. 

I myself am also overwhelmed with mt own kids. Idk there isnt specific scripture on it. 

1 hour ago, missmuffet said:

Self respect is important. If the man was verbally abusive to you then you made a good decision in not inviting him. 

It is important.

26 minutes ago, ladypeartree said:

people will treat you in the way that you accept being treated ...do you want your daughter to be treated like that ? If not then it is only YOU that will teach her by your actions even more than by your words what is right and what is wrong 

Not at all. Thats why i didnt allow him in my house. However she is his daughter. I dont want to be petty and be a difficult coparent. He will be able to come to the indoor play area and take her home and be with her. Im just trying to be fair while also having boundaries. You know? But you're right. I would stand by my daughter if she did the same and was treated the way i was.

So today is my daughter's bday. Plans got rearranged bc my refund came late and i did a little bday celebration at my house but were gonna take her out to a cute baby play area later. 

Now, i didnt invite the dad to my house bc he said some really nasty things to me. But he will be invited to the baby play area and will be able to take her home.  

I feel he shouldve been there but idk i feel i shouldnt have to tolerate disrespect. 

What do you think??

On 3/18/2022 at 10:02 PM, Thewhitedove said:

Hi there. It's 3am where I am and I've been up with my baby for a few hours too. Why did daycare send you away? If you're late you just can't go? That's terrible.

I'm praying for you as I have no other solutions. Kids are relentless but it gets easier as they get older.

Yeah. They used to let us in a little after oa but they said due to staffing shortage they have to make sure the ratio of teachers to kids is balanced. I get that. 

I was able to get them off to school today atleast 

I have a 2 and 1 yr old. Im in school im not working yet. Plan to do so after classes end in May and then move. 

My daughter's dad is just now stepping up but ive been overwhelmed mentally and physically with 2 kids for a year now. 1 kid is nothing 2 is a complete hazing lol. 

An example ..yesterday night they didnt sleep until 4a. I cant get a good sleep schedule going until im on my own. No one pays much mind to my kids and being quiet while they sleep. I got up at 8.30 i did my best to get the kids to school but i was late. Daycare turned me away.. And im at home with kids crawling over me and i couldnt study much. 

Going back and forth with daughters dad. And thankfullly he took her for the weekend but i also feel sad bc shes always been with me and i love her so much. 

Idk i jusy feel exhausted. 

Im just venting but also looking for advice from other fellow parents whove been there and also asking for prayers as well ..but im definitely on empty right now.

With my daughter gone and it just being my son amd me ( hes much easier to care for bc hes a bit older) i have a slight moment of peace and I just wonder how ive been holding up. 

Anyway thanks for listening.

1 hour ago, AnOrangeCat said:

I think it's mostly because of length of time this has been going on and how deeply it affects you. It's hard for a lot of people to fathom being truly stuck in a situation that causes them so much distress for so long and get the sense that things haven't really progressed in a good way. Just seems like you're getting more and more worn out and stressed by it.

The length is bc of 2 car accidents and my son's cancer scare. I had to let go of my job and spend months taking him to and from the hospital to see what was wrong with him. Spent time in the hospital too.My grandma abandoned my kids while at work so i couldnt work anymore. All of these things set me back and they just happened back to back..But Yeah no one knows unless theyve been in it..they just assume youre not trying by default which i dont get. Also had a blow out fight with fam bc they want to control my life. My mom called mr weak and said i shouldn't have had kids if i was gonna put them in daycare among other stuff. Gonna fast and pray for God to give me an answer. Im afraid to utilize my family bc they burned me on multiple times.. 

Im so emotionally spent tonight i could cry or throw up. Uhg

4 hours ago, Jayne said:

You and I have some similarities, I'll get to that.  And explain how we can help ourselves.   But first,  let me  gently fuss at you a little bit.

OK, here goes.

Number one:  Stop BLAMING God.  Stop ACCUSING God.  STOP saying that he doesn't love you or care about you.  Just STOP it.  It's maddening.  It's all we've heard from you for almost exactly three years.

Your life is hard,  we get it.  You've had two babies in three years by two different men, neither of them taking care of you or the babies and neither of them marriage material.  God didn't do that to you.  YOU did that to you.

Your family is mean, crappy, and abusive.   God  didn't  do that to you.  The DEVIL did that to you.

Why should God "bless" you when all you do is blame him for things not of his doing and accuse him of things he has not done.

Don't you think others here have in some respects crappy lives also?  Don't you think others here have pain and wonder where on earth God is?  

Like you, I have depression and anxiety.  I am FINALLY, after 60 years of life on this earth, getting some counselng for it.  I've had this depression for longer than you have been alive.  I've questioned God on rare occassions, but by reading his word daily, taking notes, and praying, I see that none of this is his fault.  He DOES help.  He DOES love me - even on days it's hard fo function.

You know how many friends I have?  ZERO!  NONE!!  My mother just died 2.5 months ago and it was a shock to the system.  My father died three years ago - again, a shock to the system!!  It's just me and my disabled brother.  JUST US - in the whole wide world.

I don't make friends easily.  [I know some here at Worthy are probably saying, "I see why!"]  

Don't you think I worry to the point of madness at what is going to happen to my mentally retarded, autisitic, legally blind brother if I die first?!?  ALL. THE. TIME I WORRY SICK!  That is NOT God's fault.  It's my fault for building a wall around myself decades ago in my depression and shutting all others out.  I had a great career and work hard at/for my church, but personal relationships - there just aren't there.

I know tons of people, but am close to no one.

For me to blame God for this, declare that he does not love me nor care about me has NEVER entered my mind.  NEVER.

NUMBER TWO:  DO SOMETHING!

So many people have given you counsel over these three years and you take none of it to heart.  You seem to make excuses as to why the counsel won't work.

I'll give you some counsel that I've given you before and you dismissed before.  Call the police and ask them to to take you and your babies to a women's shelter.  You can get help there.  They can help you find competent sitters and jobs.  You might have to use the bus or other public transportation, but it's at least a start.  Tell the police to stay with you there in case you aren't satisfied that it is safe.

This counseling has not been easy for me.  I have to tell the truth. I have to "share".  I have to open up and be gut-wrenchingly honest about ALL the mistakes I have made.  No blaming God. No blaming others. All the mistakes I have made.  He gives me homework and Christian counsel as what to DO.  Do something!!  

You've spent three years in an intense pity party.  I've got you beat by decades.  If I, ME, can do something, you can.

My issues have had a grip on me for far too long.  I'm doing something. 

God has not forgotten you nor does he hate you.  But he will not bless you while you blame him for everything and everyone in your life that is making you miserable.

 

 

Why do people think im not doing anything. Im doing all i can. 

5 hours ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Well...ive asked this before, but what are you doing to get out of the situation your in? 

Sometimes God puts us in bad situations for different reasons, and others Hes just waiting for us to make the first step.

You complain about being in a bad home situation, with all kinds of family problems....well, without being there its impossible to know exactly whats going on...but i can say if you genuinely want out you are an adult. They cant physically keep you there. Find a way.

As far as material blessings such as cars, first off a lot of people who have nice cars have worked their entire life to afford those nice cars. Years and years. To many people these days want the nice things right now, and feel theyre entitled to it and are jealous of those that have worked years to get them.

You want something work for it. Be patient but work for it. Set goals and find ways to get there.

Finally...im gonna say it...why is it even important to you? Unless you can buy it up front a new car is a scam. It starts losing value the instant you sign the last paper at the dealer, and you will likely pay double the asking price in interest by the time its paid off and you will never see any of it back. When you go to sell it you will sell it for a loss.

Its far better to find a older vehicle that you can afford to buy up front. Even if you got to pay a little bit more in maintainence, but you wont owe anything on it, and if your patient and know your deals you can usually find a nice older vehicle that will suit your needs for a fraction of the cost of a new vehicle.

I own 4 vehicles. 2 of which are daily drivers, the other 2 are project vehicles. They are all paid off. The newest is a 2011 expedition, which is my family vehicle. The other is a 03 f250. Thats my work truck. Theyre both older but reliable. They fulfill my needs in a vehicle. Theyre both nice vehicles. I bought neither brand new. They were both bought used. In fact the f250 didnt run when i bought it, i bought it extremely cheap and fixed it up.

A new car that your paying on isnt a blessing, its a burden because its a massive debt. It will actually make it harder to survive because its less money for housing and food. Less money for traveling and seeing friends. And if money gets tight...something that you may have difficulty getting out of. Debt is a cruel slavemaster.

Im doing EVERYTHING to get out. If i did nothing i wouornt even complain. 

I put the dad on child support 

Got daycare squared away 

Using the little money i have to fix my car

Im looking for work. 

Im putting the work in

So my granmda that ditched my kids while i was at work is over. 

Shes talking about everyones acheivments and barely acknowledging me except when she need to get me to get her something from the store. 

She got a new car shes letting me drive. I just dont get how can God bless someone that did that but im working so hard. Im trying so hard and im getting nowehefe. I feel like God hates me at this point bc everyone around me is getting blessed except for me

And im doing everything i can. 

Its like im in a storm that refuses to stop. 

The only time they bring me up is to say im lazy. They dont talk about me going back to school. How im trying to work again after struggling to find daycare bc i couldnt depend on my family. 

The only time im looked at is if people need something from me. 

Why does God bless everyone around me but me when Im working my butt off. Why? 

What does Be have against me? 

Everyone is able to do things with ease. Get a car. Ok got it. Get a place ok got it. Job..ok got it. My cousin has a really good paying one.. 

But me.. No. Car accidents. Son sick. My own health messed eith. Toxic family. No help. Just wlot of struggle to do ONE thing. 

Why is it like that? 

Im trying so hard more than most i feel. 

And i keep getting a brick wall. Makes me want to give up. 

So after a while of emailing CAPS ( subsidized gov child care) i finally got ahold of someone. Passed the interview and qualify.

So now i can work.

Issue. My mom is a bit controlling..shes against daycare but no one in my family even the kids dad wont watch them. I lost my last job depending on my family so Im using daycare.

My mom and I share a car but she also works. My bro has a car I asked if i could take the kids to and from daycare in his car .. He said he uses his car to work ( Amazon)

Idk im really trying my best. I just need this to work. So i can work and finalky leave my toxic environment.

On 10/14/2021 at 4:43 AM, SIC said:

God bless you brother/sister. All I can say is hang in there. God is good. Will pray for you.

Im trying. Its hard i want to give up.