Figure of eighty

5 hours ago, SelahSong said:

We love GOD because He first loved us.  

Eighty, you’ve come on here many times in the past telling us pretty much the same things and have received some very good encouragement and advice from people who love the Lord.  What steps have you taken to get closer to God?  The only way to develop faith is to read God’s letter to you, the Bible.  How else can you know Him or hear Him?  Only you can fix this.

Selah

Idk know if I can fix this. It's just the same cyvle.

I don't desire God like I used to. 

I find myself just being mad or irritated with God 

And I honestly don't love God the way I should.

I'm being honest so I'd appreciate it if I didn't get attacked. I'm just wondering where do I go from here how do I change to be a good Christian...that loves God, trusts him so freely... 

Even when I was zealous for God my relationship with God felt one sided and I felt like I was talking to myself. 

If it wasn't for God doing certain things for me / coming through for me.... I wouldn't even know he's there. 

I'm just wondering how to fix this because I've back sliden so far...

I feel the next step is just me not even caring I've slid so far/ apostasy.

If this isn't birdbox coming to life ...

So weird. Glad I was born in the 90's

I'm kinda talking about looking forward to the day you actually die. 

I feel it would displease God but ...I personally feel my life is a waste of time ...just feel I'm waiting for heaven at this point.

So from what you all are saying I guess the soul is our innermost self. 

Our hidden motives, our characters, flaws and strengths.. 

Am I right?

I've heard that saying before but what does that mean?

What does God see when he sees our soul?

13 hours ago, GandalfTheWise said:

@Figure of eighty ,   there are the things we can do, and there are the things that only God can do.    When we try to approach God purely from our own actions, we can do good and noble things, but it does not produce a spiritual change inside of us.   We can join a church, give to the poor, do good deeds, read the Bible, pray, be baptized, and do many other things, but those actions in themselves do not produce the spiritual change.   When God does make a spiritual change in us, we are aware of it because it changes us.  I've heard hundreds of testimonies from a wide range of Christians over the years.  One thing that most of them emphasized is that there was a time that God reached out and touched them in a way that they were aware of.  Now, the details, emotions, feelings, and reactions were of course unique to the individual.   Some testimonies give the impression that the heavens opened and others were more subdued and related to a sudden sense of peace and comfort.

In a few sentences, I first encountered God when I was 11.  We had a guest speaker at a Wednesday Lent service in our mainline protestant church.  I forget most of what he talked about.  I just remember at the end that he stopped and asked a question, "how do you know you're going to heaven?"  I remember suddenly being aware of the difference that I *hoped* God was there, and that heaven existed, and that I was going there, but I really didn't have a good reason for that.  Afterwards, I went up and he lead me in a brief prayer.  It was just something like "God please forgive me and come into my life."  In that moment, I suddenly felt different.  There had been no big emotional push ahead of this, I was just going along, repeating words, in one sense wondering why I was doing it, and just suddenly things changed.  The best words I can use are that I just felt a warm peaceful comforting presence inside of me.  I went from hoping God was there as a distant powerful figure I couldn't see to just having this strong sense He was now inside me.   It was a "wow, what was that?!?" type of moment I was not expecting.   Now, in the years before that, I'm sure I'd prayed similar prayers as part of liturgies or other services, but this time was different.  It was because God was drawing me toward Him, I responded, and He came into my life.   Over the years, I've heard many similar testimonies.  Again, the exact details are unique to the individual, but the general pattern of feeling somehow drawn toward God and spiritual things followed by a sudden sense of God's spiritual working in their life is common.

Over the years, I've observed that when people talk about *not* having a sense of God's presence, it usually fits into two categories.  The first is when people have not yet had that life-changing encounter yet.  They follow all the recipes someone tells them to follow, but God has not yet actually done anything that they are aware of.  The second is when people have had that life-changing encounter and it does not continue to feel the same as time goes on.  They go through spiritual peaks and valleys.  On a day by day basis, what is happening around them can distract them and make their spiritual feelings feel different, but over months and years, there is a consistent sense of God's presence that is there though on a day by day basis it maybe sometimes doesn't feel like it.

Using standard Christian jargon, when God saves us, two things happen.  The first is that we are forgiven.  God doesn't take into account anything we'd done and what we are like and hold that against us anymore.  The second is that He causes us to become a new creation;  His Holy Spirit comes to live inside of us and change us.  Being a Christian is primarily about this spiritual transformation that God does within us.   It is not simply about trying harder, making more new year's resolutions to be a better person, hoping the good we do outweighs the bad, and being forgiven if it doesn't.  It is primarily that as humans, we are simply incapable of doing everything we think is good.  We can do part of what we think is good, but there remains things that we are in bondage and addicted to, and things that we cannot change no matter what we try.  If being a Christian was simply about following some rules, anyone could do it if they tried hard enough.  However, the issue is that all of us as humans have a fallen nature.  There are some parts of ourselves we simply cannot control.  This is why God puts a new nature inside of us that takes us beyond that bondage to a place of freedom and liberty.  My sense of things is that most testimonies are about people's unique reactions and awareness of when God's Holy Spirit comes within and starts to change us.   Those things that characterize Christian behavior such as fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc.  See Galatians 5:22-23) are things that then start to naturally grow inside of us.

Hmm. I feel I've definitely experienced some of God but I can count it ok one hand  like maybe 3 times idk.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know of maybe this is normal for me.... I don't know if I in particular am supposed to feel good presence and comfort on the daily basis... as everyone's relationship with God is different. 

I know I truly believe in God bc my parents weren't saved so they didn't push me to go. 

I feel I went on my own... 

Idk I just don't know..I feel it's not normal to be a Christian and not hear God or feel led .. and not have any fruit despite being saved for years. Something has to be wrong

I just don't know what.

When I got the HS I didn't feel anything...I just spoke in tongues. 

I just wonder if I'm doing everything wrong 

14 hours ago, Willa said:

Tell us more about what happened that brought about your salvation.  Were you convicted of sin?  What happened to lead you to believe you were saved?

Because I was baptized. The patsor explained throughly what happened. It wasn't a  spur of the moment thing I fully understood.

Um no. Also...if travel pictures make some one jealous then I think the person experiencing the jealousy may have the issue.

I understand your frustrations. I feel 50/50 as well

Deep down I know. I'm very sure... But.. even though I have been baptized and have his Spirit. 

I'm completely drag to God, 

Don't feel or hear him. I don't feel his leadings.... Don't feel transformed..  

It's been this was for years and I'm close to giving up. In a way...I already have bc I feel there's no... Line of communication.

I don't know what God wants from me or expects...

 But I feel I'm getting nowhere, nothing is clicking, I just feel alone with out God's presence of guidance. 

I feel after I got saved I was just on my own. Just been nothing but silence and just feel like I'm figuring things out on my own.

26 minutes ago, naominash said:

Sister, 

Let me just tell you:

 

Jesus changes everything. Even in during my most severe episodes in the past, His presence was an enormous comfort. 

Even though I had to avoid books on angels and demons for a while, I credit my recovery to the Lord.

Medication is your business, not anyone else's. Do what's best for you to get better and let everyone one else adjust or leave you alone.

It is not a lack of faith to be on medication. I was just as much a believer on the meds as I am now, since I've reduced them.

Follow the Lord, but in everything else, do what's best for you and everyone else' opinion doesn't matter. Will they pay for your expenses if you need extra care? If no, then their opinion doesn't matter no matter how spiritual they sound.

Don't let them tell you you can't do your dream either. You may have to monitor your sleep and stress and not take on too many commitments. But your future is in God's hands. You don't know yet what He will do in your life.

They told me I would never leave the facility. Well guess what? I work full-time, have a husband and am wondering the best time for kids.

You can do anything. It may take some time and you may need a break from school or work. You may need to take 3 classes at a time rather than 5 or 6. But you can do anything. Considering you were coherent enough to write this post, you are most likely very brilliant with a high chance if functioning given the right self-care and treatment.

No matter how bad it gets, remember. God is still there. He doesn't depend our mental health to be God. He is the Lord. He has the final say over your health. 

(I was diagnosed bipolsr Schizoaffective. That was five years ago. I'm not looking back)

 

What an amazing story. I'm happy for you. My goal is just to be on my own./get my own apartment.  I'm a pusher so despite being afriad of my illness overcoming me. I push to reach my goals... 

But thank you. I hope I'll have a nice turn around like you did. 

Right now I just have small goals. Just getting my own place, a better paying job ( thru school) and perhaps a nother car.

25 minutes ago, existential mabel said:

Hello Figure of eighty

 

Its not at all offensive least not with me anyway! I struggle with anxiety and depression and its messed my life up somewhat.

 

 

I have had to do the medication route but then back in 2016, I had a sudden severe adverse reaction to the medication and then later a supplement.

 

 

All through this I have kept my eye fixed on the Lord. As that is all there is really imo. The world is temporary and also quite dark.

 

 

Recently I have had another health set back. But again I still continue to keep my eyes on the Lord. I have lifted it to the Lord as there is nothing else I can do. I don’t do the what if this what if that as tempting as that is eeek.

 

 

So yeah with mental illness I can still keep my eyes on the Lord. And best to avoid/reduce exposure where you can to  folk that do focus on what I call negative thinking.

 

 

I am constantly reading the bible its now 4 and a half years doing this . that helps to fortify me.

Hmm. I'll try.. I guess praying in the spirit will help. Sometimes I have issues reading the Bible ... Sometimes it's anxiety but for the most part I feel a bit bored...how do u krp your eyes stayed on God?

2 minutes ago, Jayne said:

How do you reconcile faith and medicine?

I have MUCH faith in God and his provision for doctors and medications.  Faith is not a shunning of  material things or medications and doctors.  Faith is knowing that God heals through many means - supernaturally and naturally.

I've used meds and prayer/bible study for my anxieties. 

Yeah that is true he heals through many means.

Sometimes I feel I don't deserve to be free ...sometimes I kind of feel it's impossible because I feel Ike in life we have troubles and I feel it's a cross to carry sometimes..I don't know

But thanks for your response.

I ask because I'm having a hard time with my anxiety to the point I contemplate medication. 

I know some may see it as a lack of faith but I feel unless you have a mental illness or cared for someone with one..you won't understand. It's not imo

So..I'm just wondering those with heavy mental illness( bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD) 

How do you still follow God? 

How did you reconcile faith despite using medication ? 

And I hope this thread isn't offensive or against any rules.. 

I really don't want it deleted as I'm looking for answers. 

My illness keeps me from pursuing my dream, worries me about living alone because I'm afraid I'll probably lose it if I do. 

It's just really bad right now. 

I'd love to hear from people going through the same thing as I am.

This is just from my experience. Every pastor Ive seen is almost always married and blessed with a lot of children.

Why aren't their more single pastors in the fore front / known about. 

Even at my church they have a little booklet introducing pastors,deacons and evangelists...ECT. And they too are married and with children. 

Are single,  childless pastors an anomaly? 

Why aren't they seen more? 

Just something I noticed.

22 hours ago, Cletus said:

I have had God speak to me thru the bible as I read, and also like that but not when i am reading.  He has spoken to me in a way that I have heard others call "that still quiet voice" and i think MaryJayne explained it better than I could so read her post if you haven't.   I have also had God speak to me audibly when He was pleased with me and when He was correcting me.  I have heard God speak to me thru others, even non-christians.  I have had God speak to me thru songs as if he was singing the lyrics to me to either lean on Him, or telling me He loved me.  I have had God speak to me thru dreams, there is all sorts of ways God can speak to us.  But God is the God who does speak, and His sheep know His voice... even the first time you hear it.  God dont speak audibly all the time but if we are keeping our minds stayed on Jesus and walking in the Spirit or resting in Him, He will speak to us more than we realize.  Sometimes He is quiet for a long time, But when He has something to say He will. 

Oh yeah pastors and mentors, he will speak to you thru people like that too.  we need to be sensitive to The Spirit and be paying attention. 

This is interesting.

Or maybe there isn't anything for me to do besides reading,praying and going to church...that's the only thing I can take the silence to mean. I really don't know.

7 minutes ago, pinacled said:

Whats wrong with quiet?

Because I don't know what God wants me to do if nothing is said... Do you know what I mean?

Also how many times do have to pray for God to guide me and to lead me and ask what His will for my life is...because I ask but I just get silence...

So I just do what I know to do *shrugs*

2 hours ago, GandalfTheWise said:

Many Christians seem to get caught up in trying to figure out what God wants us to do rather than who God wants us to be.  We become focused on seeking to better know God's to-do list for our lives so we can check off all of the items on it.   We rarely slow down from this and ask *who* is it that God created me to be?   We start to come to see our value as Christians by how much we accomplish for God rather than in becoming who God made us to be.   In the long run, we will accomplish much more in being the person God created us to be than trying to do as much as we possibly can.

I spent over 30 years as a Christian with this mindset that what I was supposed to do as a Christian defined who I was.  It was about maximizing the use of my gifts and talents and pouring as much time and effort into ministry as I could to bear as much good spiritual fruit as I could.   I was defining myself by striving to be the best Christian, the best husband, the best father, the best employee, the best fill-in-the-blank I could be.   Over a period of about 6 months to a year, God forced me to slow down and put me in front of a mirror and forced me to look long and hard and I realized I had no clue who God made me to be.  All I could see was the roles, tasks, gifts, talents, and efforts I had been putting into things.  Over the next year, God started working on me to show me who He had created me to be.  He started healing things that had been shackles and chains on my natural personality.   My gifts, talents, and experience became *tools* for me to use rather than my identity.  One of the biggest changes is that I now find what I do tends to be much more natural and just flows rather than being something I have to work at.

There are of course many things we all have in common as Christians that describe our lives.  But then there is the uniqueness about each of us that is meant to reflect God's glory to the world in a way unique to us.  It is not that we have particular gifts and talents that makes us unique, but there is something about each one of us that is a special treasure and work of art of God.  Until we can look in the mirror and start to see that unique work of art God is creating and rejoice in that, we'll be trying on our own strength to do what we and others think God wants us to do.  There are many painters and illustrators in the world with a range of abilities and skills.  However, there is only one you that is a unique work of art of God.  As you learn who God is making you to be and come to rejoice and be comfortable in being that person, your gifts and talents will become tools that you can use to express and communicate things in ways that will go well beyond the ability to paint or illustrate.  You may also find that what you like about drawing might be used or expressed in ways other than drawing as well.

This confused me. I feel God wants us to be all the same honestly...and that's simply like his son. 

43 minutes ago, Yowm said:

You do realize in the parable, 'talents' is referring to money as in investment, not abilities that we have. He honored even the widow's mite.

Oh. I thought it meant literal talent.

For example. I'm an artist meaning I illustrate and paint...however I work so much and so hard( going 5o get a second job soon) just to live in 5his society... That I can't draw like I want 5o..

Also since I struggle with anxiety that also keeps me from drawing sometimes...

It bothers me as it's me dream but due to these stressors I find my passion for art waning. I still love it but I don't have the passion I used to. 

Another example is a coworker who's a gifted singer. She has children and also works super hard so she doesn't do much with her talent either...

Do you think God  would be disappointed in us?

On 12/9/2018 at 2:48 PM, wingnut- said:

 

The most uncomfortable place to go is a restaurant, people can't help but stare at someone dining alone.  Not sure why that is.   

I have no iissuess. With restaurants... It's just church 

Because everyone else is paired off and happy and I feel some probably look at me with pity bc I'm by myself.

9 minutes ago, wingnut- said:

 

I go everywhere alone.  Yes, sometimes it is uncomfortable, but I don't let that stop me.

Yeah I go most places alone too.