Figure of eighty

Feeling really down and heavy emotionally. Please pray I don't cave in. 

I dont leave the house much bc we only have 1 car my brother's. Its always used snd no one will help me take the kids up and put them into the car. 

I feel trapped and feel like sobbing. 

With winter rolling around ill be more confined to toxicity. 

10 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Sorry folks but our pets will not go to heaven or be raptured. 

Lol why do you say thay? I know they wont be raptured which makes me a bit sad ...BUT... I truly believe all dogs go to heaven lol. Theyre so loyal they have to.

This is common knowledge

2 hours ago, BK1110 said:

Suffering is not a sign of God "getting tired of you." The Bible promises we will suffer. So many Christians have, and will continue to do so. Suffering is one of the main ways God grows us.

I will recommend again that you need to reach out to every church in the area and beg for help. If your children's father is not helping you then you may need to pursue legal action against him to obtain the money you need to get a leg up.

Im already filling out Chikd support. 

Ive enrolled inna Rad Tech program 

I applied for Caps so i can hopefully start working soon. 

I habe no car so i cant reach out to a church but im doing eberything i can.

Uhg my dad just called me stupid. My kids are scrwaming. 

Idk how long i can last lile this. I truly wish I never had children. Not one. 

Been sinning too mucu and failing tests. Surrounded by people that could careless about me and this is fsmily. 

My younger bro comes out of his room and says he had a dream our home caught on fire but i didnt make it out. 

My dad said everyone has to go sometime and tols him stories of folks close to him that passed who he had drwams about.

My dad critizises me constantlt. Laughs when i try to care for my kids. 

I was trying to go back to achool. I applied for college so i can use the miney to move and have a better life for my family but idk if i can do that.

When peoplw say they have dreams like that im inclined to believe them due to my past ( curch) so i get a little paranoid.

I hope i dont die but if i do. Im tired. Im alone. Im burnt out.. Idc .. I just feel for my kids. 

I feel im slowly losing it being herr.

When gas hits 4 bucks Im going to dust off my skates and start skating everywhere.

On 10/28/2021 at 11:11 AM, Abrielle said:

 

Dear Sister, I'm sorry for the delay in my answer, i signed in just to answer you and i'm in a hurry.

God has all the interest you can imagine, and even more, in you being fine and surpassing your struggles. What i'm saying is that sometimes what we think is our struggle is only the consequence of not living the true battle, which is: Deny ourselves and live for Jesus Christ. It is a battle, because God's adversary will turn your attention to your own feelings of worthlessness, instead of looking for the eternal infinite Worth of Jesus. But it is a battle that Jesus already won for us. However, the will and the doing is ours, as they belong to our freedom. Forget the youtuber. Remember the woman in the well, who lived a hard life. She went to the well during the hottest hours, just to avoid people. She didn't belong. Yet, she was the one who gave physical water to Jesus Christ. He asked her. Someone who thought that didn't have anything. And as you know, when she saw the kind of water she had been given, she lost the feelings of worthlessness, she didn't want to be hidden, her past condition didn't matter anymore, she ran and told others what just happened. This is what God wants for all of us: to be fulfilled by Him so we can testify to others. You are no exception.

No need to rush for me. Ill always be here but i appreciate it and your answer..although i dont fully understand it. I have to re-read it again.

6 hours ago, BK1110 said:

Maybe it won't change.

Have you considered that? It's important to realize that God doesn't rescue everyone who is suffering in this life...in this life. Many Christians get sick and die young, or are imprisoned and executed, or starve to death in African villages.

How much are you willing to endure before you turn from God? It's a question I think about a lot. God promises eternal rescue for those who endure in their faith in him until their end in this life.

If you knew for sure right now that your situation would not get better, would that cause you to turn from God? Part of true, full reliance on God is committing to trust him even to the point of death, at whatever time, and by whatever means, he chooses, and to remain faithful through that.

I don't say this to discourage you, but rather to encourage you to carefully examine yourself and your heart, and determine if God is trying to get your attention in this way, to bring you closer and more fully and truly to him.

Continuing to pray each day for you and your children!

This is really good to think about.

5 hours ago, Marathoner said:

"I felt empty." What a blessing to read, my friend. 

That's precisely where fiery trials and tribulation leads us: we come to the end of ourselves. We are empty!

We have emptied ourselves out:
Our strength melts like wax;
The moaning ceases for there is nothing left with which to make a sound.
We are defeated at last, 
Coming to the end of this flesh to the glory of Jesus Christ, our God, Savior, and best Friend. 

It took 23 years of being chastened by the Lord, cast into the fiery trial and no small measure of tribulation, for His work to take root and sprout in me. It seemed to never end! And still I refused to die, clinging to vanity with a white-knuckled grip. I had a very long way to go until I finally emptied myself. 

I am intimately familiar with those tantrums. Would you believe how angry I was with the Lord when He denied my longing for death? I was such a mess... I could barely speak, my mind was a swirling storm of chaos, and I suffered traumatic brain injury from infections which reached my brain. I begged the Lord to slay me but He refused, saying I would never taste death. 

I suffered from volcanic outbursts of (impotent) rage for a little while, screaming futilely at Christ Jesus for sparing this flesh so I might endure in this world. Ah, but I was blinded by my suffering and the Lord is more merciful and kind than words can describe. Once I had emptied myself and could no longer make a sound, He healed my body and mind, restoring me according to His promise. 

This is where His work leads us, @Figure of eighty: to the end of self, so we might empty ourselves to be filled by Him. You will make it.

Im glad he changed your situation around

 I just dont have much faith for my situation. I don't know if it'll change. 

But your post makes a lot of sense.

10 hours ago, Abrielle said:

I wrote "has" but i meant "as". "as He Is."

I mean that at one point i didn't matter anymore, all that mattered to me was that God existed and He doesn't change. Even if my expectations weren't met, His existence, His righteousness, Him Being was enough consolation. To know Him, to have a personal relation with HIm, His plan to save us, that involved His own sacrifice, this was my consolation, my source of peace.

I don't know you, but i pray for you. You are in a difficult situation and tired, I just wish i could give you a little bit of hope.

I already don't feel important to anyone.  I just dont get why God blesses some people (whether they believe in him or not) with friends, spouses, good jobs, children when they want it... No matter how hard I try and I have tried I never won in life. I dont have any of the things i listed above.

I just don't know why God blesses some immensely and lets others suffer immensely. Like this Christian youtuber .. She traveled alot when younger, had lots of friends, had a christian mother, met her husband while traveling, they have a daughter and a son. The only thing shes dealt with was a divorce ( her parents divorce ) 

Meanwhile my friend suffered neglect as a child. S*xual abuse. Got with an abuser and he mistreated her in every way and it triggered a mental illness.. She believes in God (but also asks the same question I do)

I also believe in God.

Why does the Youtuber above that i mentioned get a cushy life while being a believer? 

Why? 

Starting to truly believe my happiness or any desire i have matters to God or else id atleast be able to get a job and move so i womt have to deal with my toxic situation. I just want. Simple things.. Not a million dollars... Not fame. 

Just a healthy environment for my children. 

6 hours ago, Abrielle said:

@Figure of eighty

Not only God can help you, He also wants to be known by you.

I can't help you, but i can share the ways i think God helps me.

The Bible book i read the most is Ecclesiastes. It always refreshes my perspective, and ends remembering me: "Here is the final conclusion, now that you have heard everything: fear God, and keep his mitzvot, this is what being human is all about." (My Bible is The Complete Jewish Bible)

In the past i believed i was struggling alone, waiting for a miracle to happen that i could see and solve my problems. I spoke to God in short tantrums and I was so blinded by my entitlement that i failed to see the ways God was helping me. After being angry at God, eventually, i got tired of myself and the world. I felt empty.  This led me to look for God, the One who does exist, and not the one i created in my head. I needed that the righteous God existed has He Is, even if that meant that i was not important. When i see His touch on my life, with so much care and gentleness, sometimes such tiny little things, i feel so humble and grateful. To this day, i keep finding ways that God indeed helped me, when i couldn't recognize it. Now, when in doubt or a dark place, i just remember Ecclesiastes and of what being human is all about: Love and respect God and keep his Word (John 1:1-6). This is my autopilot mode; it happens in the intimacy we can only have with God, i turn off my noise and just go on trusting, praying. Answers, solutions, peace, gratitude, and gladness come. Problems all around!, new ones, old ones!, but i'm not buried.

what do you mean by this ? " I needed that the righteous God existed has He Is, even if that meant that i was not important. "

On 10/25/2021 at 9:51 AM, BK1110 said:

Your father has no idea how good a mother you are, but the Lord does. Struggling so far by yourself, without even your immediate family helping you, much less a husband, and yet you brought them both to term, no abortions, no giving up for adoption, and care for them, and dedicate your time to them. Your dad does not understand but your Heavenly Father sees and is well-pleased with your dedication to what is right!

Will be continuing to pray for you each day. God will provide a way in due time. We just cannot see that way or when it will come. He grows us most in the toughest of times!

Father please stretch out your hand and bless and heal our sister! Please move so that she can get the help she needs with her kids, and so she can return to work, glorifying you with her work ethic and her faithfulness, caring for the children you dearly love and have blessed her with being the guardian of. Strengthen and refine her as you continue to draw her through these flames, filling her heart with the assurance that you are working all things together for good! In Jesus' blessed name, amen!

Thank you. Yes, i remember when i was pregnant with my son my dad asked if i thought of adoption.  Im very happy my daughter's dad came to grab her up so im a little free. I also found an 18 an hr job but no daycares are open on the weekend my family wont watch my kids long enough for me to even shower so.. 

I feel stuck again. 

Im.really angry. I feel like my family lacks empathy from my dad laughing at me calling me names and my mom asking me to run errands knowing ive onky gotten 2 hrs of sleep. I cant do it. 

I also called my case worker for the sub daycare. She couldnt help so she gave me another number so i called. I told the lady my situation she went around all of that and just gave me general answers that dont truly solve my issue. 

I cant work if no one watches my kids. I cant leave my situation if i dont work. 

Im trying to resist my bf bc i know sexual sin lies waiting for me.. But i dont know if God is worth anything anymore. 

How can you have the power to help someone and not do it but bless others but not those who need it most. Im asking for simple things. Daycare since i cant depend on my family aand so i can work and leave. 

Ive been i. My situation since 2017. 

19 hours ago, Faith-Not-Fear said:

I am praying for you. I don't know much about your children, but have you looked into dietary causes for your children's behaviors? I don't only mean sugar and caffeine, but food allergies and intolerances.  For example, one mom told me her child's ADHD became so much worse after consuming things with certain food colors. There are even Orthomolecular physicians and psychiatrists that treat people with nutrition. 

Theyre babies. One is 2 the other 7 months.

Just now i heard my dad laughing at me bc my daughter keeps crying. 

Im losing hope my life will get better.

I applied for subsidized daycare.. Im hoping and praying i get approved so i can start working. 

Cent take being in a home thats dark 24/7and people that attack me. Like my dad. I feel like hes miserable bc he keeps telling me. Im a bad mother, im lazy, whats wrong with me.. 

With 2 screaming kids that rarely sleep.

Thats the last thing i need to here. Im praying so hard i can get out of my situation. Please pray eith m4.

17 hours ago, debrakay said:

I knows you think you are alone but I also believe you are smart enough to know this is not true.  Here you are on this forum with people praying for you.  Sometimes being with others is not just in physical form. I am sure you pray for others here on Worthy and here we are praying for you and asking the Lord to bring you peace, hope and joy.

Many of us are alone at this season of life, without much interaction with other human beings.  It is a season none of us have ever experienced before in life.  Everything is different on earth these days.  For myself, every single day I have to seek the Lord and ask for a measure of joy.  Joy does not mean happiness.  It means thankfulness.  I have a roof.  I have food.  I have clothes.  I have heat.  I have electricity.  All of my physical needs are being met.  My emotional and mental needs are up to me to keep a handle on with assistance from the Holy Spirit. 

I recently heard a saying that "time is short but eternity is not".  Eternity is only an option for a person who loves Jesus and accepts him as savior.  When we accept Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit comes to help and comfort us.  How are you and the Holy Spirit doing these days?  Are you allowing Him to be in you and a part of you?  Do you feel the power of the Holy Spirit in your life, in you?  

Acts of the Apostles 1:8 (NLT)
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

2 Timothy 1:14 (NLT)
Through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, carefully guard the precious truth that has been entrusted to you.

For months now the Lord has been speaking to me about being still and holding tight to the promises he has made to those who follow him.  When King David was stuck living in caves he made it out with the help of God.  Sometimes we have to be patient and wait for the Lord to lead us to the places and people he chooses.  Sometimes it's hard to remember we are here on earth for others and not for ourselves.  Sometimes we are human and get down.  Jesus knows and he is always by our side to give us comfort and wisdom to endure the storms.  I hope any of these words help you to know that you are not truly alone.  I'll pray for you and I hope you will pray for me! 

 

Right. Youre so right.

7 hours ago, Marathoner said:

You are not alone. In post after post you mention God and your children, so how exactly are you alone?

Bc people have a support system. Im not just talking about everyday life but for trials and temptations-- i was listening to this pastor on youtube abt trials and temptations and how to thrive under them and he said having support from Godly counsel is important. Having mature seasoned christians to lean on to help you in time of need is what helps you get through. 

I dint have that. Im just surrounded by toxic people that talk about me and my kids that ( i love but) drain me.

I keep stumbling with my ex//bf ...

I feel hopeless.

1 hour ago, BK1110 said:

Praying for you each day.

It may be time to take more drastic measures to get a support network. Have you tried calling a local church and explaining your situation and just outright asking if someone can transport you to church?

I just feel like people dont care enough. That and i dont have money for gas.

I dont have godly support. People say being isolated makes u vulnerable during trials well i have no physical way to get 2 church. Crying kids.. Staying in a dark house. My car is broke down. Going through a break up... Or trying guy wont let go but i know he isnt Gods will for me. Dealing with my folks my dad talking abt my kids and wishing terrible things on them. Calling me a sorry parent.. 

God being silent. 

I really dont think this is possible. Has anyone gone through a trial completely alone? I need encoura gement.

On 8/30/2021 at 6:13 PM, TheBlade said:

A song playing right now as I am typing not sure the back ground yet its a Christian singing it Mark Harris "find your wings". The odds its playing.. yeah its Him.  If we ever get lost..always go back to the beginning. Another song.. always comes to mind in times like this is .."Your desire is the confirmation The destination is there God wouldn't put it in your spirit if it wasn't going nowhere
So, set your sights on the promises and don't you be scared 'Cause you desire is the confirmation The destination is there"

Right from the start you said "I just want to do what God wants me to do" <--a where do you think that desire comes from? Hello? Yeah your hearing from GOD! Your listening and don't even realize it. We walk by faith not sight 2 Cor.  That word is what will build your faith. We wait on the lord "Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Read that? WOOT PRAISE GOD! He WILL. Did you not pray this ask Him? He heard you.. so rejoice! Know He is going to show you.. you asked. He is not like man.. He will answer and show you. The battle is always his. Our weapon is HIS WORD! That name above ever name YESHUA/JESUS CHRIST! 

My wife once started a new job didn't know anyone so we prayed.. for friends.. those that believe in Jesus Christ. That was it.. didn't think another thought.. We gave it to Him! She has wow so many friends now praise GOD GLORY TO JESUS! I pray I through Him helped you.. in Christ

Another song.. Oh LOVE music.. Before the morning Josh Wilson. 

Thats amazi g. I pray for friends too and i still dont have any. What did say when you prayed?

On 10/12/2020 at 9:38 PM, Always a Moon said:

Hi Tony! Praise the Lord that your desire is obedience to God! I pray continually for a heart that is eager to obey the Lord, and He continues to transform my heart and desires to be more like His. 

Spiritual life is as real to me as physical life. I've found that the closer I am to God the more creative the enemy gets with attacking me. The war is real, but thank God, the God of angel armies, we do not have to fight alone. AND, we know who wins in the end! 

This is so true he gets very creative.

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