AlsoBroken

Giving my grief to Him is something I need to do much more often because when the painful feelings come back I think about the person who deeply wounded me, and in my flesh I want to “punish” them, or at least make sure they KNOW how wrong they were. I was betrayed and abandoned by a longtime Christian sister several months ago, a best friend for over 5 years, and it’s felt like a knife in my gut. In myself, I don’t want to forgive her. It’s only in the Holy Spirit that I can detach enough to see her through Jesus’ eyes, forgive her in His name, then let go and chalk it all up as one more earthly Loss that forces me to the Cross.

Thank you Mije. I do believe that if we’re seeking for inner healing, and ask, the Holy Spirit will lead us to unresolved emotional wounds that God wants to heal. Whether we need to grieve a particular loss, or make amends, or talk to a counselor, etc. I think many people have issues of loss and grief that they’ve never allowed themselves to acknowledge. Sometimes deep down anger or rage needs to surface and be dealt with too

This is a HUGE topic and (IMHO) should be one if your main forum headings. I, and almost every Christian I’ve known, has some form of deep heart brokenness, (some much worse than others) if not emotional Trauma to heal from and overcome. And without these places of heart-brokenness being brought to our awareness and thoroughly healed, our bondage to false comforts and addictions will cripple our ability to know His true, powerful, never ending Love. (Perhaps much of this is talked about in the Prayer request forum?) Just saying… Soul Healing is hugely Important. The degree of healing of our past wounds and trauma actually determines whether we can experience the only thing that can CHANGE us. (I’m in the midst of it and could write a book.) - Which is His Love in Jesus Christ. Otherwise, in SO many ways, our walk with Him is merely a limp.

Dear Tyler, I lived as a “fake” Christian for many years because I BELIEVED but did not (and in some ways, because of wounds and addictions, COULD NOT) obey and follow His moral commands. It has taken many YEARS for Him to heal my heart (because this requires taking down years-long high walls and LETTING HIM in.) God will never give up on you, so please keep your baby Faith, and keep seeking, and asking Him HOW to receive His unconditional LOVE into your heart and mind, seeking to have a close, personal relationship with Him. It is ONLY through a close, trusting relationship with your Lord that transformation can happen, and your life be changed. He is a merciful, patient, tender-loving Father who “KNOWS that we are dust.” ❤️ Sister Jan

Thank you for sharing that AnOrangeCat. It sounds like a very difficult place you had to be in with her. As an in-home Caregiver myself for many years, I know exactly the kind of dementia you were dealing with.

Bill, thank you for bringing this point up. I have been realizing (actually for awhile now) that I need to lower my expectations when it comes how others treat me or respond to something I say. I have recognized in myself that my need to be heard, acknowledged and validated comes from a deep place of wounds, from when as a child I was shamed or simply ignored when expressing my feelings, and it set in concrete somewhere in me as “I don’t matter.” 😪 Thinking about that still brings up tears. So often, when someone interrupts me, talks right over me, or replies with something that reveals they obviously didn’t “get” anything I said, I instantly feel that old “I don’t matter” pain. And it’s not that I need to feel Important, I just want to matter! The hard truth is that on a human level most of us only really matter to a handful of people, and in the Big Picture we are NOT important, except to GOD. So knowing deep down that I MATTER to GOD, is the very Key to healing and restoration, and all of life, yes?

Thank you Patriot21. We do need to LISTEN more than talk, and I know that’s in our Bibles. ☺️ I also know that I have a keen sensitivity to whether I am heard and have my feelings acknowledged, or not. (Stems from childhood 😢) But people often interrupt, or throw out a banal piece of advice, or totally miss what you said, or read something INTO what you said that’s not there! We all need at least one friend who “gets” us, and is validating and caring, instead of ignoring us, or compulsively needing to fix us. I don’t have many of the fore mentioned friends, but I KNOW that my Lord Jesus DOES “get” me and totally understands what I need. He is my only true Comfort!

I see this subject was posted over four years ago, but I’ll chime in anyway. I’d love to talk on the phone with friends and wish that more would call me (just to chat and say “I was thinking about you”) because a live voice is so much more personal. However, that said, I get worn out and impatient to hang up when someone talks ON and ON.

This is about something that bothers and annoys me, but I don’t know if I’m just being too touchy or WHAT? It happens in almost every relationship and situation I’m in, and every social media platform I’m a part of, no matter with Christians or unbelievers. Namely this: Whenever I say, or text/post a simple statement about what I’m feeling (on ANY subject) the immediate replies are almost always a piece of advice or “suggestion” of what I SHOULD DO. But all that I want and need is simply an acknowledgment or validation! Me: I’m feeling sad today because my kids live so far away. Friend #1: Why don’t you go for a nice walk honey, that’ll help you feel better. Friend #2: Have you considered moving closer to them? That’s what I did! Friend #3: Do a video call with them! That’s what we do. Friend #4: I just read about a new support group for sad single parents of adult children, I’ll find the phone number for you! Friend #5: I’m sorry you are sad today and I know the feeling! I struggle with missing my family too. (((❤️HUGS❤️))) SO yes, I am ever grateful for Friend #5 (Thank you!) but she is rare. What do you say to the rest? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says “Please FIX me” ?? I tend toward being VERY annoyed instead of gracious. Sometimes it zaps my energy to reply at all, or try to explain I DON’T WANT or NEED your remedy, and never asked for one. All I need is for someone to acknowledge what I said, and maybe validate that my feeling sad is OKAY. It’s Interpersonal Communication 101, right? (Now I’ll hopefully see who here will “get” what I’m saying, and/or who will advise me!!! 🤪)

There is much in what you replied to me that is very worthy! Thank you. ❤️🙏🏼

DPMartin, why your criticisms and assumption that another brother doesn’t read scripture? He was pointing out that the “faithful” were at one time unbelieving sinners, but Jesus WENT TO THEM, to reveal Himself. How else can the unfaithful, unrepentant sinner become a believer in Christ and then choose to be Faithful? Please apologize for your very inappropriate remarks to Com7fy8.

I just read this. Thank you ❤️🙏🏼❤️

Thank you sister, that’s very kind of you ❤️ Jan

Thank you for your loving reply to me! I relate to your grieving alone as a child! Separation and divorce of one’s mom and dad is devastating. I experienced this at age 8 and the most dysfunctional part is that nobody talked about their OWN feelings about it. My whole childhood was like “Let’s all pretend that everything’s FINE.” The loss and absence of my Dad then led to terrible choices in men during my entire adult life, with consequences of MORE loss. I required YEARS of mental health counseling to sort through what was REAL to me, but never, ever acknowledged. So much Healing has been needed.

Billiards, that is one of the best pieces of counsel I have been given yet! I live alone in a quiet neighborhood and have a lot of time to pray but I know I don’t “listen” very well. I need to close out all the other things in my mind clamoring for my attention. ❤️ Thank you for the reminder.

Thank you Jayne. I relate mostly to this… Distant or passive fathers can inadvertently influence their children to view God as uninvolved and disinterested in their lives.

I would like to hear from others who relate to this life-long difficulty… Due to the physical and emotional ABSENCE of my earthly Dad (even though he was alive and usually only a phone call away) and no other caring substitute interested in my life, I seem to be incapable of truly believing and trusting that my Father God loves me unconditionally, and actually WANTS a relationship with me. I believe it in Faith because “the Bible tells me so” and sometimes I DO feel His love for me, but on a daily average, I don’t. I can barely comprehend that this Father - Creator and Sustainer of the Universe - actually wants ME in a close relationship with Him? I have NO frame-of-reference for this. (Which is a deep grief in itself). This lack of comprehension on an emotional level has seriously effected my spiritual growth, my whole life. And yes, I continue to pray for it!

Indeed!

And sorry that my reply was so LONG but I want to add this: It is through my instant knee-jerk reactions to others who offend me in some way that God SHOWS me how prideful and sinful my heart still IS, and my DIRE need for Him!

Not of This World, Thank you for bringing this subject up. I have to continually give this problem to God and pray (often with tears!) for the Holy Spirit to continue changing my heart. It’s a really tough one for me still but not as bad as it use to be. Due to wounds in my growing up years, I’ve always had a huge need to be listened to, understood and validated. Even a slight such as interrupting me when I’m trying to say something (which many people thoughtlessly DO!) triggers those old wounds. Probably due to other heavy issues I was always dealing with, I never even felt convicted of my reactions of wanting revenge (justice!) until the last couple years. I have to catch myself thinking revengeful thoughts after someone has hurt me (or hurt one of my kids) then REMEMBER God’s very clear Word about this (in multiple NT scripture verses!) and affirm to myself that indeed, to lash out, get back at someone, hate them, or in various ways wish that they would suffer is just plain WRONG in God’s book. I SO WANT TO JUSTIFY MYSELF and my very OSN feelings and reasons for holding onto my indignation and righteous anger. It is ESPECIALLY HARD to forgive and not want my own justice when I have been deeply hurt by a friend or family member in whom I’ve invested a lot of myself for our relationship. This happened to me a few months ago. I’m still struggling with it. I force myself to try and imagine how God in Christ sees that Offender, how HE forgives them and how He has died for them AND me. Then I pray for them. You probably know this but it is really difficult to pray for someone you have a grudge against. So much Mercy and Grace is needed all around! We need to be calling up Jesus’ very words about this and praying for each other against Pride and Self-Righteousness and wanting to “play God” in ALL these situations! Otherwise we’ll strike back and/or end up having Passive Aggressive behavior toward others, and the devil wins. Blessings to you! Sister Jan

Excellent video to watch and VERY IMPORTANT for Christians to know: https://www.prageru.com/video/the-political-motivations-to-deny-the-bibles-historical-accuracy?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=campaign_5437324

Was not sure how to post the video link here. Am I missing something?

Excellent video to watch and VERY IMPORTANT for Christians to know: https://www.prageru.com/video/the-political-motivations-to-deny-the-bibles-historical-accuracy?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=campaign_5437324

That’s beautiful AdHoc. I love the human examples that God left for us, broken people or nobodies that God used in powerful ways. Scripture is full of stories that prove His Providence throughout history, that had little or nothing to do with how high born or “successful” individuals were. The story of Joseph is one of my very favorites. What Satan meant for evil, God turned to Good and saved a whole nation. Thank you for your very positive reminder. ❤️

Thank you and God bless you. I don’t know the age of anyone here, but it’s possible that I became a Christian when most of you were still in diapers. 😆 It’s been a very long winding road, but my Lord Jesus has never let go of my hand. I’m grateful to tears. And I am your Sister 😉 Jan