craig911

I used to play electric guitar and learned mainly by ear when I was a youngster. I never learned to read music and never learned the scales. It is weird because I know all of these 70's rock songs and that is it. I quit when I turned twenty but recently aquired another guitar. I want to learn it this time as I really did enjoy playing but never really learned what it was I was doing. So how long have you been playing?

That is way cool There will come a day that not only will you be able to see it and hear it but slown down the footage and literally see the air and sound in tenths of seconds.....that would be totally awesome...

Wow What a topic. Well here is my two cents. I do not think one should wait for devine intervention when it comes to seeking a mate in life. I met my wife briefly for about two minutes through a friend. I then spent several hours over the next three days spending as much time as I could with her. We had a very real and strong attraction. I then spent several weeks trying to get to know her better which was very difficult as she lived several states away. She then decided that the distance was too much and time was not on our side and broke it off. I waited a few months and realized that I could not let this woman out of my life. So I got off my duff and let her know that I was the man she was looking for. The rest is history. You should look at yourself first and determine what you really want in a spouse. I mean what you really want. Then when you meet her you will know what it is you have been waiting for and be able to recognize it. The rest is just being aware.

I think it is important to point out something that will become very obvious as this thread continues. Jasmine is not alone. There are many of us out there who share these feelings and experiences. It is because of that we relate so quickly to what it is you have expressed. I would hope you would find some comfort in knowing that you are truly not alone. I would agree with many things that have been posted so far. I personally would tell you that the feeling you have is a part of your unique personality. God has a plan for each of us and the truth be know we will complete it regardless of wether we are even aware that we have or not. Sometimes Gods plan for us as individuals takes time to achieve. If one looked back in reflection of those achievements it would be obvious that while God was working to teach you and guide you, your interactions with others was his way of doing the same for them. God is such an awesome God and the way that he works in our lives individually as well as collectively is simply astounding. I no longer feel bad when I do not feel like being the social butterfly so to speak. I know there have been times when during fellowship I am compelled to do more or share more. I hope that all of the responses you will see posted will let you know that you're okay and all is well and to pray and ask God to simply have his will be done in your life. God will work the rest from there.

Well as long as were keeping it a civil discussion... I have never had a problem keeping my eyes were they belong. I have seen women who are way under dressed and actually find it offense. I love my wife and have eyes for her only. She is the most attractive woman to me and that is how it should be. I am a pretty observant guy when I am out and about but not because I am searching for anything. I like to know what is going on around me as I deal with the general public all day. I see a lot of people and yes a lot of women. But there is no "sexual" attraction involved with what I see. As I said some of the things I see are offensive to me. The same applies to young men walking around with their pants hanging down and underwear showing. I don't mind baggy pants but there are limits. I do have a problem with body exposure for women, married or single. With the exception of married women and it being to their husbands. But to do so in the general public is not a good idea. If there is something that my wife does when it comes to dress that I feel exposes her in a way that I dislike or makes me feel uncomfortable then I will let her know. It is then up to her to decide how she will respond to my perception of the situation. I respect my wife and it stops there. If there was something just outright blatant then I would be more concerned about her state of mind not mine. A woman knows exactly what she is wearing and how it makes her look. If the clothing is provocative she is undeniably aware of it. It still boils down to taste and to be honest with you as the years go by I think good taste is one of the things that is not being passed along to the majority of todays youth. But hey you can throw in good common sense and respect with that to. It is a sign of the times and should remind us all that it is very important that we raise our children in the way of the lord. Nuf said.

I take that to be what is says at face value. God is a jealous God and does not take lightly those who worship or bow to idols, images or false Gods. Numbers 25:1-3 1 And Israel abode in Shittim and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. 2 And they called the people unto the sacrifices of their Gods: And the people did eat, and bowed down to their Gods. 3 And Israel joined himself unto Baalpeor: and the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel. This is pretty clear and ties into what is being said in Exodus when taken into context. But also note that Gods jealousy can be changed as reflected in Numbers 25:11 Phinehas, the son of Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away from the chldren of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.

I prefer the KJV but only because the one I have has a sentimental meaning to me as it was a gift from a loved one. I plan on getting a new one soon but mainly for very large type....

You are correct it will never be the same. It will be over or it will grow stronger. It has been narrowed down to the two. It is Christ who can wipe away our sins. It is in asking for forgivness that we receive it. I would be the first to say if I were in your shoes I would tel land expect my marriage to be over. I would never consider it a choice I could make alone. I would have to tell her. I would be very afraid of losing the only person I have ever loved blindly but I also feel it would have to be her choice. I find it hard to believe that you could be married for more than a couple of years and not know that your spouse was unstable. I would still do it. Again I did say start with counseling and getting your pastor involved and then I would still confess. Living with that much guilt can just as easily ruin your marriage by ruining your feelings of belonging. I am praying for you. I know Gods will, will be served.

Knowing what I do about affairs and how they can affect a relationship. I Have to say without a doubt you must discuss this and confess it to your husband. This is a burden to you every day as you deal with feelings that rise up inside you because of what you have done. That being your burden to carry may be true but when you joined together with you husband it was to be as one. You took it upon yourself to set that aside to meet a need you felt you had to meet. It does not however mean that your husband does not or should not have the right to decide if he wants to continue the marriage with you. Last but not least some of the sexually transmitted diseases that are out there show up when you least expect them. You have no right to conceal this from your husband as there are many ways this could get worse. I am not trying to be rude but the bottom line is this should be brought out in the open. Take your husband, go see your pastor and bare your soul to the man you swore to love, honor and cherish til death did you part. Absolute truth with a spouse is one of the hardest things to deal with on both sides. And trust is even harder. But it is called for and expected. Again I have to say if you are not willing to share all of it then why even bother staying married. Just forgive yourself and leave him. I am not trying to be mean just brutally honest. True love is not just there it is earned , given, shared, worked for, heart breaking it is many many things. But it has to be given by both and taken with all that may test its strength otherwise it is not a marriage. I have been on the other side of this in more ways than one. My ex-wife had a five month affair with my brother which, started before my wedding and lasted into the first couple of months of the marriage. When I found out two years later I was beyond crushed. I survived it but to even think that I could have not had a choice in deciding to stay in the marriage or not scares me. Mainly because she would have never told me. It was the brother that confessed and she finally admitted once confronted. It has taken me forever to really trust another woman again. I finally have. It is still not easy. I have to always tell myself to not listen to the voice that tells me to doubt or not trust. It is hard but I refuse to burden my wife with something she does not deserve. She is given my all, blindly until there is a reason to think otherwise. She does not have to prove her love or commitment to our marriage to me. On the same hand I do not do things that would put myself in a position that something has a higher potential to go wrong or fail in me giving my all to our marriage. Why? Because I am with someone that I can love completely. I am always going to have the fear that something may happen. I also have to realize that I can face my fears my wife should not have to live them down. As that is my cross to bear not hers. Your probably right about the "It's never gonna happen" not everyone can. I do have to say this. If one cannot give the trust a marriage deserves to your husband or wife. And just like your faith in christ, have faith in your marriage How will it grow? It is that trust and faith and commitment to each other that creates the bond between you. It in turns brings you together as one. The truth is if this is not present in a marriage if you take the time to be honest with yourself you will know. How could you not. To the original poster. The affair was not only about you. It is about your marriage. The fact that you had the affair shows your relationship was not being tended. Now you have to let your husband know and it will be up to the two of you to both decide if the other is the one you truly want to be married to. Your husband is not totally without fault here. Granted he shares a very very small portion in the affair itself but he shares it just the same. Tell your husband and get it over with for both of you. God willing you will grow from this and have a stronger marriage for it.

I am truly grateful for the insight. It appears that I am getting the best information from existing step children. I am very happy with my boys and will do everything I can to build a lifetime relationship with them. I do realize it is ultimately up to them. For the most part I have just been myself and do rely on my gut feeling for certain situations. I do pray about it a lot. God is definitely a bigger part of this than meets the eye. I guess what prompted the question a parental feeling of expecting more recognition or maybe acceptance that I am there for them. Having already raised two other children I know that is a pretty high expectation that very rarely is met until they're much older and are looking back over the years. I again just want to thank all of you that have replied as your insight is rewarding.

I am speechless, really. I never even thought about asking if there were any step children to try to gain a different perspective. I am very serious about trying to do what is right and looking for experiences from others that I can gain insight from. I don't know how to go to a direct chat to chat on this board but I would be very interested in talking to you if you would be so kind. This is all somewhat new to me and I am desperately trying to find out where I am and should be in all of this. I love my wife and the boys as well and it seems that I am doing more harm than good. This is not in my nature not to mention it affects me as well. If you know how to do a direct chat and are interested please let me know how and a time and date that would work for you and I will do my best to accommodate your schedule.

I have recently been remarried within the past year. I now have two wonderful and very active step children just entering there teens. I am looking for resources that I can view to help me adjust to being a secondary parent. I think I am having some difficulties in adjusting to being a step parent and would like to be able to get a better insight as to what it is I am feeling and thinking. I am trying to get information or Christian literature that addresses this topic. I would also be interested in chatting with any other step parents out there who have been at it for awhile.

It is hard for anyone to tell what is going on or how the situation unfolded not having been present to see it. What is obvious is how it effected you and how it is weighing very heavy on your mind. I had a similar situation happen only I did not have a clue until I was hit on the head with a 2by4 so to speak. But if you feel it inside you then to you it exists and it needs to be presented to him. Confront him as it can only help. He will either confess to you that it has happened or he will say you are over reacting. but confront him at all cost. To leave it idle in your mind and in your life will result in certain disaster. I hope it all works out for the best for all of you especially if children are involved. If he is any kind of man at all he will talk to you and take the time to listen and do something about it one way or the other. Craig

I would disagree with what you are getting from what they are saying. I cannot speak for anyone but myself but I believe what they are saying is that God changes them allowing them to make a choice for God "Not forcing anyone." I had stated that my free will was to sin and that God had drawn me to Him. I do not see the Force being used here. But then again I have to say if God wanted to leave me to make that choice totally on my own I would not be saved. I certainly would not consider myself a moral free agent by any means. Without God I would have a less than moral look on life altogether. I am beginning to think you just have a less than amicable feeling for Calvinists. Is it the same for Presbyterians, Lutherans, Southern Baptists and so on. Do they not all believe that Christ died for their sins? Do they not all believe in the same God and same Bible? Hmmm...I wonder There you go again. I don't know what you think you're seeing when you are looking at the posts other than RED. I believe it was made clear that even if God chooses whom He will save that it still requires all of us to witness or be a part of God's master plan. Saved or not we ultimately are a part of the plan. And yes we are all on our way to heaven or hell but I don't see the forced hand you speak of. I checked every post in here to make sure and I didn't see where the Calvinists inserted the "throw the Bible out, its irrelevant" messaqe anywhere in any of the posts. I couldn't even find a "God has forced their hand" either; but hey, I am not seeing Red so maybe my screen is different than yours. Finally we agree. God did not cause or bring about the apostacy as it appears a little "free will" was goin on. Left to our own demise we can, will and do unspeakable things. I guess there are a lot of things that make it clear as to the need for salvation for man. It just makes you want to say Hallelujah! Thank you Lord. But for the grace of God there go I. Can I get an Amen Brothers and sisters? Craig