hi my name is valerie.
just read your post. Sorry to hear about your wife and son. and also sorry you feel this way about god.
dont know the answer to all your questions, about the way your feeling towards god at this present time.
but from what I have read so far ,I understand what you mean. you feel that god is letting you and your family down,and the others on this planet. why did god create and destroy, dont know the answer to that. I think the same way as you on this matter,when we go through bad times we tend to blame god,.and lifes not worth living,.I am telling you this f rom my own my personal experience.
I went through some depression over the years ,because of whats been happening in my life.
but with help from christian friends ,and prayer it does help.
enyway i wont go on about my problems, but all i can say take it to the lord in prayer.
if you need somone to tailk to I am here
.
AND JESUS IS STILL WITH US.
I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
PS GOD BLESS TAKE CARE.
from your sister in christ.
valerie