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  1. "All for Today" I wandered the streets naked hearing only the beats of my heart overflowing with a sixth sense of urgency; emergency; clergymen; demons; I fainted. Time had ceased. My mind was creased. Cursed with the truth, the lies twisted my hindsight; the sight lit my foresight and the now was one huge stooge ready to fall. It was a desperate call and I knew not who to listen to or who to tell, my apparently tortured loneliness was living hell. I eventually landed in a psychiatric ward where all my kin were studied as a backwards horde. The call was still ringing in my ears but I was stuck in tangents of a concentration camp. The antics of my fellow prisoners of war only proved to me I was in on the score and was losing; missing in action with only my (innocent of the facts) family to protect me. That was a decade ago now and how I came through is miraculous. ...yet that time is not written off, it still haunts me to this day, a reality I rarely speak of... and that is all I will burden you with today. -Gregory KJ Brumwell 2004
  2. The Meaning of [eternal] Life All it takes is a short, simple to the point prayer surrendering to Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour. Be sincere and follow through. God takes care of the rest, you and every need. Remember to pray in Jesus Christ's name, for God's will. Discernment, knowledge and understanding will flow on God's time and limitless ability. Feed yourself with prayer, Christian fellowship, worship, singing praises to the Lord. Immerse yourself in the Holy Bible, God's inspired living word! The enemy will lie, deceive, trick and play all sorts of mind games in an effort to destroy you and your faith. Confess, apologize for, rebuke and repent from every single last sin committed ever. Call on the power, blood and name of Jesus Christ and be saved! Every sin has already been forgiven by God, past, present and future. His Son won over sin, death and hell. His unconditional love is true, pure and perfect. Tell your account to God with forgiveness. Make your life testimony strong. It is never too late. Christ's blood, death and resurrection paid your debt and price. You now belong to Christ, take heart. Your body is a temple. Keep trying and building on the cornerstone of Christ. God bless you and your new eternal life starting immediately, hallelujah, thanks and all glory be to God!
  3. So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. We know from later in the story of Abraham and Sarah, that there is a ten year age difference between Abram and Sarai. That means then that Sarai here, is 65 years old. 11 As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” Now, I find this interesting, because in my society and time, it is hard to imagine, that if I had a 65 year old wife, that I would have to fear for my life, because a 65 year old woman was so beautiful, that others would seek to kill me to possess her. Really, I find it hard to believe that I would have to fear for my life, over the beauty of a woman, even if she were the most beautiful woman in the world. Seems to me that there are several observations to be made about different societies and their values. For my society, I am willing to admit, that we value the beauty of youthfulness, way out of proportion. Sure, I get that it is easy to see a twenty something year old model as aesthetically pleasing, but we have taken this standard to such an extreme, that we encourage women to hide their age, as it is is something to be ashamed of. Anti-wrinkle creme, makeup, hair coloring, face lifts, silicone enhancements, etc. entire fortunes are made, and lots of time and money spent on convincing women (successfully) they are of lessor value, because they have a few miles on the odometer, and show some signs of maturity. I am not a fan of appearance shaming, and that is not the Biblical standard for beauty. We all, know well enough, to what degree we have bought into the standards of the world personally, and I think it is worth considering as individuals. I will leave it at that, and move on to other things. Next, that these Egyptian would actually do as Abram feared, value Sarai so highly, that they would go to extreme measures to posses her. I suppose, it is at least better, that they would consider purchasing her from her "brother" instead of killing her husband to have her, but still, how weird is that? That they considered her to be more valuable than some sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels apparently, for at least in some way, Abram was able to make that sort of profit on his supposed sister. While people are more valuable that animals, the male and female servants, are people too. Evidently, it was Sarai's beauty that made her valuable, not the fact that she was human. So, the priorities of those Egyptians, were more messed up than the society of even my culture is, when it comes to the value of physical beauty. Then there is the aspect of treating people like property to be bought, sold, traded, and killed for. We (humans) are so messed up, no wonder we need a savior! Abram, is on this adventure, as an act of faith. He goes, because God said "Go!". That seems admirable, to just pull up stakes and go somewhere, not knowing where, based on faith. However, I cannot help but wonder about the faith of a man, who takes some risks to go on an adventure into the unknown, but then, thinks that God won't protect him enough as Sarai's husband that he conspires to lie and deceive strangers. Seems not only to be a bit shaky in his faith at that point, but perhaps even a bit cowardly, but I suppose he knew better than I, what the Egyptians might do, so I won't judge him too harshly there. Later in the book, we will see that Abraham, will be willing to sacrifice his "only" son, out of faith and obedience to God. I would say that is faith that has grown, and I think that that is also, a lesson for us. We are not always as faithful as we could of should be, but, God is able to grow us. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. As we go through these readings, let's be thankful, that God's word accomplishes what He designs it for, and one of those, is the building of faith.
  4. Anyone Got any Doubts about the Bible. Or have had any doubts that have been unresolved? please leave them here. Especially the really hard ones!!! Thanks. :-)
  5. If guys are going to embrace free will I will go somewhere else.
  6. Hi all! I'm doing some research on light and darkness. In particular, I'm looking at how as Christians we can enter the dark and not realise we are there until it's too late. The devil is sneaky and draws us in by attacking our strengths, or playing on our insecurities or help us to fill a godly desire in an ungodly way. I'm wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this or any experiences of being drawn into the dark and/or the struggle of coming out of the dark? I'm really interested to hear all stories and happy to start a discussion:) Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, Peace & Blessings Kags
  7. Propaganda, deception, myth, junk science, can you distinguish the truth? published December 16, 2010 Notice the title carefully. It describes the subject. I will be using some examples of things that might fall into the categories above, but please remember that the examples are not the topic, the topic is about being deceived vs. discerning the truth. We are bombarded with messages from television, newspapers, magazines, movies, radio, schools, the web. Even our friends share their opinions and beliefs with us. It is easy to accept what our loved ones tell us. Children are especially susceptible to believing what parents tell them. I believe this is God's design. He want children to learn from their parents, and He wants parents to teach their children. While the most important subject that a parent can teach a child is about a loving Creator/God and His plan for redemption, it is not the only thing. We who are parents, are responsible for training our children in ethics and life skills, and from my observation, I think many are doing a poor job. Of course, it is not easy, the same things I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, are bombarding our children as well. This is not about parents and children though, it is about everyone, so let's look at some examples of challenges we face. Example 1 - Emotional Manipulation in Media Let's take global warming as one example. I am not here to debate the validity of either side in that debate, but I want to show one way that information is used to sway our opinions. The image below has become very famous. It is used in magazine and articles on the web, documentaries etc. It depicts a polar bears on a small piece of ice. Often, the accompanying test or commentary will say something to the effect, that this polar bear is drifting out so sea on this little chunk of ice, because man made global warming is melting the polar ice caps. Now, is global warming real? Maybe. Is it caused by man? It is possible we are contributing to it. But let's examine what the picture is, how it is used, and what it is said to be of. First off, you will notice that the photo I put here, has the iStockphoto watermark. iStock is the source of the picture, they are a stock photo agency that licenses buyers to use their pictures (without the watermark). If you were to go to the iStockphoto website, and locate this picture, you will find the text: "A polar bear managed to get on one of the last ice floes floating in the Arctic sea. Due to global warming the natural environment of the polar bear in the Arctic has changed a lot. The Arctic sea has much less ice than it had some years ago." Sometimes, that quotation accompanies the picture in articles. What you would also see at iphoto, is this: "(This images (sic) is a Photoshop design. Polarbear (sic), ice floe, ocean and sky are real, they were just not together in the way they are now)" In case you have not guessed, this last part is usually not quoted, maybe it never is. So what do we have here? We have people knowingly using a contrived picture, and implying that this is one of the last ice floes, and somehow, this lucky polar managed to find it. This is designed to arouse your emotions, feel sorry for the polar bear, and generate real concern about this disappearing ice floes. This could be expected to work on children, but it has also seemed to work on adults. Again, I am not debating global warming here, I am demonstrating manipulation. One might think that is is a good thing to do something like this, because it is an important cause which needs to be promoted. I say fine, if global warming is real, then sell it with facts. Will the people who use this kind of tactic bother to tell you that there are 5 times as many polar bears today as there were in 1950? I doubt it. Will the mention that DNA genome studies indicate that the polar bear has survived previous global warmings? Not likely. Do they mention that polar bears can swim 60 miles? Seldom. Do they mention that polar bears can live on land, without any ice? You get the idea. While the ice may be thinning, and the polar bear's normal habitat may be shrinking, they are manipulating information and images to manipulate your emotions. Resist emotional manipulation, recognize it when it is happening, and look deeper into things. Don't believe something, just because it tugs your heart strings, believe things because facts back them up. Remember, even people we trust, who would never lie to us, can also be deceived. Example 2 - Email Urban Legends I got an email one time, one of those chain emails that people forward to their friends. Fortunately, I do not have many friends, so i do not get these often. This one was talking about some woman who purchased a large potted cactus, and put it in her home as a decoration. Without going into all the details that builds the story up, the cactus later explodes from the pressure of growing baby tarantulas inside it, and the house is filled with the little critters. Now I read this, and had a huge laugh, because the story is so ridiculous. Where do I begin? Cactus are not house plants, they need sun. Tarantulas do not lay eggs in cactus. The babies, in order to grow, would have to have a food supply, they eat insects. If there were enough insects in the cactus to feed them, would not the cactus have already exploded from their volume? Cacti are not hollow, there is no place for all of this to even happen. Cacti are stronger that fragile spiders, if the pressure were that great, the spiders would have been squished. There are so many levels that point this out as an urban legend, but as obvious as it was so to me, apparently it was not obvious to the friend that forwarded it to me. If you receive this sort of email, do a little research before passing it on. Think also, of what the consequences of passing it on might be. For example, there are often emails forwarded about some new way criminals have come up with to get their victims. I won't go into examples, and I would not forward these. Most of the time, they are not true. Some of the time, the tactics might even be clever. By forwarding these around, the will eventually fall into the hands of criminals, who believe it or not, also have friends with email. Why give them clever ways to victimize people? There is one of these that surfaces once in a while about Madalyn Murry O'Hair, telling of here successful effort to remove Bible reading and prayer from schools, and her plans to get the Federal Communications Commission to ban the gospel from broadcasting. It urges Christians to petition the FCC. It also says that Madalyn is campaigning to remove Christmas songs and programs from public schools. I have no problem with Christian activism. What saddens me, is that people just assume that these sorts of emails are true, after all, it was forwarded to them by a trusted friend, so they forward it to people that trust them. So, is there any truth to the claims in the email? Ms. O'Hair never petitioned the FCC on the topic, nor does the FCC have the authority to ban religious programming. Those who know me, know that I believe that we need to be ever vigilant though, as the Federal government has had a track record of overstepping it's constitutional bounds. Never-the-less, petition number RM-2493, to which the email refers, had nothing to do with Ms. O'Hair and was not about banning religious broadcasting, it was about preventing religious organizations from obtaining broadcasting licenses on channels reserved for educational purposes, and then using them for other purposes. It was defeated in 1975, yet the FCC still is receiving petitions to stop Madalyn (who had nothing to do with it) from having her way. Now, if someone were to read this email, and then just look up Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the would discover that she went missing in 1995, and her remains were discovered in 2001, so you can rest assured that she is not a danger to your religious liberty. There is a newer version of this email floating around out there, that has president Obama as the villain. Scare Tactics Did you notice that in all the cases above, that those who were perpetuating this disinformation, did so one the basis of fear? You have heard all of the dire predictions of the result of global warming, the stripping of your religious rights, how scary would it be to have a house full of Tarantulas? If you read something, and it induces fear, that is a good time to take a deep breath and say "Wait, is this really true?" If you can get the fear out of it, you can more clearly think rationally, let fear grip you, and you will focus on the fear, and stop looking for the truth. Fear paralyzes, truth empowers. This tactic of employing fear is wide spread. We see it in politics - vote for us, because our opponents want to send your babies to war, and feed you parents dog food. I know, it sounds silly, but those have been used to mobilize opposition. For some reason, we are willing to believe our guys when they lie to us, and are ready to believe the worst of "the other guys". Don't fall for it, both sides lie and use fear in politics. It is true in day to day advertising as well. If you have dandruff, bad breath, tooth decay, wrinkles, you will not be happy. If your laundry is not a white as can be, if your car doesn't get 40 miles to a gallon of gasoline, you will be ostracized or you are not a responsible world citizen. Some of this stuff isn't even public advertising, some of it is just word of mouth rumor. Years ago, in a discussion on Worthychat, the topic of artificial sweeteners came up. One person contending that Aspartame (NutraSweet, and Equal) had formaldehyde in it, and could lead to cancer and brain tumors. Now, I am immediately skeptical of such claims, because our food an drug administration is fairly cautious, so cautious that you could make a valid case that thousands have died, as a result of being denied medications that could have saved their lives, because they have not passed the stringent FDA guidelines that allows release to the public. We sometime have to wait a decade or more, for the release of a drug in the U.S., that has been successfully employed in other countries. There is no way around this, we can either be cautious, and lose people, or we can be reckless, and lose people. My point is, that it is doubtful that the FDA would approve something, that it knew caused cancer and tumors. I did not challenge the chatter's assertion that Aspartame contains formaldehyde, because I just did not know the the facts. I did however, look it up in the next few days. What did I discover? Aspartame does contain formaldehyde, well sort of. Under certain conditions of temperature, a small amount of formaldehyde can form in aspartame. How much? Let's put it this way. If you drank 500 cans of soda sweetened with aspartame, you would be ingesting about as much formaldehyde as is contained in a single orange. A similar one, is that in some countries, they have all but ceased using sodium lauryl sulfate. What is that? It is the main ingredient in many if not most shampoos. It is rumored to cause cancer. Big surprise, most 'dangerous' things are using the cancer scare. It is said, that it is a powerful detergent, used to clean garage floors. Now, there is some truth to that. The properties that make for a good garage floor cleaner, would be that is is able to clean, dissolve oil and grease, be water soluble, and not be too dangerous. These are the same properties that we want in a shampoo, the ability to clean, break down grease and oil, and dissolve in water. Furthermore, since it is going down the drain, it cannot to too toxic, or we put the environment at risk. Bio-degradibility is what we need. This type of substance, is known as a biodegradable anionic surfactant. We usually refer to them as detergents. While there are others, they all do the same thing. Any ingredient that will clean your hair well, will also clean a garage floor. There are two types of people who will attempt to scare you about sodium lauryl sulfate - those who are ignorant, and those who willfully deceive in order to sell you an alternative. Use what you want, but don't be fooled by urban legend hype. How did this get started? The cancer scare and shampoo started in the early seventies, because shampoo contained nitrosamines. Nitrosamines are known carcinogens (cancer causing substances). What is odd though is that bacon contains nitrosamines, and we eat that. We were afraid to put nitrosamines in our hair, but not too afraid to eat them. Go figure. There is one ingredient commonly used in industry, which is responsible for the deaths of thousands. It is commonly dumped into our oceans lake and streams, and there is some in every household. An analysis of your blood, would show it's presence. It is not only in the chemical solutions of cleaning products that we use, it is even used in food preparation and even as an ingredient in the food itself. This dangerous chemical compound, is Dihydrogen Monoxide. according to the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division : Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol. Petitions have circulated in the U.S., but to date, no legislation has been enacted to ban or curtail it's use. New Zealand, however, had been on the cutting edge of fighting DHMO. In 2001 a staffer in New Zealand Green Party MP Sue Kedgley's office responded to a request for support for a campaign to ban dihydrogen monoxide by saying she was "absolutely supportive of the campaign to ban this toxic substance". In 2007 Jacqui Dean, New Zealand National Party MP, wrote a letter to Associate Minister of Health Jim Anderton asking "Does the Expert Advisory Committee on Drugs have a view on the banning of this drug?" You have probably heard of this dangerous substance before. In the U.S., we usually refer to it as water. That is how normal, ordinary things, can become something to fear. Nothing said about water above, was untrue. Of course, when there is a fear, it is an opportunity to sell the antidote - to sell hope. We fear cancer, so we will but things that offer us hope of prevention. I know someone who spent $500 on what amounts to a blender with colored LEDs. Supposedly, you put water in this, swirl it around, and you get hexagonal water, which prevents cancer. I wish you could see me roll my eyes. However, just because there is no science to back up claims of health from certain practices and substances, doesn't mean they won't work. Look up the placebo effect sometime. What is the point of all this? I'll bet you thought I would never come to that. The point is that we are easily and readily deceived. Deception What all of the above have in common is deception. Deception can be done to us, or we can be self deceived. The worst kind of deception by far, is religious deception. The are thousands of religions and cults offering differing world views and ideas. Atheism and related dogma (like evolution as an example), while not properly religion, are practically religion, because they are based on faith and offer alternative thought to traditional religion. Let's be clear about one thing, if there are ten ideas which contradict each other, no more than one of them can be correct. Some may question why I said religious deception is the worst kind. If it is true (and it is obviously true) that it is impossible for two or more contradictory statements to all be true, then we have to compare religious claims, and their implications. The bible tells us that mankind is too flawed to enter in to eternal life in Heaven, and that we need a savior to deliver us from the consequences of our sins. The Bible presents Jesus as that savior, and the only way that we may enter Heaven. That claim is either true, or it is false. If it is true, then we must follow that faith, or suffer eternal consequences. If it is false, then we should not go about being self deceived and deceiving others. This is of such vital importance, that we should spent to most effort possible, to arrive at what is true. To fail to do so is to risk eternal damnation for ourselves and for others. Nothing can possibly be more important. Much of what I discussed above, involves what many call "junk science". I would like to propose, that there is also "junk religion". Junk religion, is similar to junk science and urban legends. It plays on fears, exploits false hopes, and like junk science, can be exposed with a little research and a willingness to yield to the fact, if we can get past our emotions. Some might argue that playing on fears and emotions, offering false hope is exactly what religion does. That is true. Since it is true that no more than one religion can really be true (I am not talking about denominations, but truly different religions), then that means that all but perhaps one, is a junk religion, However, if there is one that is true, we need to find that one and avoid all others, and discourage others from getting involved in false hope with eternal consequences. we need to avoid all of them but one, if even one is true. I am haunted by something Penn Gillette said: "How much do you have to hate someone to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?" Pretty convicting words coming from an atheist. Whatever else you may think about Penn Gillette, I do believe truth is important to him. He just has not discovered it yet. Never-the-less this foul mouthed entertainer and skeptic, has done much to expose a lot of the junk science that is out there, one can only hope and pray that one day he will receive a blessing from God and use his sharp mind and investigative skills and apply them to the religious issue. We as Christians, are aware that forces of deception exist, but being aware of them is not enough to be free of their effects. We need to be vigilant in our pursuit of the truth, ever on the guard for religious deception, even from within our own ranks, perhaps especially so. Dr. John Warrick Montgomery wrote an interesting book called "Damned through the Church", it is worth a read. From within the ranks of those that call themselves Christians, we have seen doctrines emerge which appeal to our base instincts. The prosperity gospel, for example. Some have come to believe that God wants us all healthy, happy and rich. He wants us content in our circumstances, but that does not mean that He wants our circumstances to cause our contentment. As usual, I have not set about to write this blog, knowing exactly where I am going, so it should not surprise you to learn, that I do not know when and where to end. So, having grown weary of writing by now, I will leave you with the following verses to ponder: 2 Tim 2:15 15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth. NASB 1 Tim 6:3-10 3 If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5 and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. NIV 2 Tim 4:3-6 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths. 5 But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. NASB 1 Peter 3:14-18 14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, 15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. NASB Be content! photo from freakingnews.com Omegaman 2.0
  8. Origins - Evidence For a Young World O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: 1 Timothy 6:20 http://youtu.be/tX9eDTNfQHY But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake. 2 Corinthians 4:3-5 http://youtu.be/Z43s4tx9CxM And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ: Ephesians 3:9
  9. Hi, I wanted to post this in the prayer requests section, but as a newbie I found that I'm not able to post there, so here it is. This is long but I would appreciate anyone who reads and prays, as its a longtime ongoing situation which has affected many and I can't stand it anymore. There are these two guys who are absolutely deluded in thinking God has chosen either of them for me as my life partner. They are always posting prayer requests online, calling me their gf, wife, fiancee, even a divorced woman or a single mother (I'm NONE of these things). They attach all sorts of untrue disorders to my name, even say horrendous things like that I was sexually abused or that I'm with an abusive guy (all untrue). They wanna bring me down to their level. They daily beg Christians on prayer sites for God to fix me up with them, writing lies about me and even my future spouse. It makes my blood boil. For all I know they might even be on this site, spreading their false stories here. These losers and their lies negatively affect my walk with God. The anger their actions cause also interferes with my prayer life. On numerous occasions, it has led to disastrous events and heartache for both me and others during times when I was to be spiritually focused and pray. These two are supposedly Christians, but for the last 12 years or more (even after becoming saved) they have continually told lies, and massive ones at that. Several years ago, one even lied to me through their sibling that he had died, in order to see my reaction. If not God, for that very reason alone I could've despised the pack of them for life, let alone like them! They have told many other such similar huge lies in the past, yet I still gave them a number of chances as brothers/friends, purely out of sisterly affection (which I no longer have), and then 'cause of our God-given spiritual connection (which I want to break), and then simply for God. The only reason I haven't entirely broken off connection w/ them till recently was, first, God placing them under my spiritual care (reaching out to them before they were saved), then second, He gave them as spiritual brothers in my life. But instead of thanking God for this mercy alone (the kindness I was willing to show and forgiveness I was willing to give), they actually have the nerve to presume they can be my future husband. I have told them over and over that they're not - even if it were naturally my own choice I would never pick them. On top of that, God has already revealed His choice for me, and spoken clearly a number of times, the most recent time being the most clearest for me. While He had spoken to me regarding my future spouse in the past, I had not been entirely sure due to something I couldn't accept between us. But a few weeks ago, He made it even clearer for me whom He has chosen for me (which is NEITHER of the idiots). Now I know it 100%. However, not only do the two losers not respect my preference or even GOD'S WILL, they think they can beg their way into anything and any relationship they want. They want God to FORCE me to love them, regardless of how they say otherwise (that is basically the case, since it is impossible for me to like them and I have communicated this to them a dozens of times). They think they have some sort of special claims on me. I say: By what right?! They think this simply 'cause I once lavished all my attention and affection (much of it was confused w/ sympathy, apart from God's love) on them, almost a decade ago. And this as a Christian sister more than anything. That was 'cause God put it in my heart to reach out to them spiritually (just as He did for me w/ many others), and I was trying to help them. I did go overboard in doing this, but it was largely due to the lies they told. They took on someone else's identity. They were virtually always pretending to die the next day. They had so many, many tragedies in their life. As someone who cared for their spiritual welfare and lives, and with my passion for reaching the lost and helping lost teens, of course I would easily be led astray into excessive feelings and actions. I would never have had those if they had been truthful. So whatever the feelings I temporarily once had and their exact nature, the source of them wasn't right. Most of all, if I had known back then what shameless liars and complete fools they are, of course I wouldn't have wanted them even as friends. Apart from God, I would hate their guts for life. Furthermore, after declaring I'd break all ties w/ them (due to some other lies and juvenile behaviour of theirs), I have never given them ANY signs of encouragement or hope for the last 7 years or so. I did nothing to mislead them. We haven't even had much contact (they not once contacted me on their own; I did 'cause God led me to, at times, mostly for spiritual reasons). Yet all along they have built on their hope of winning my love and obtaining me. It's unbelievably pathetic and sick. After all the destruction their lies and immature behaviour caused in my life and other ppl related, they have the AUDACITY to think I can like, even love, them. This is what I can't stand the most of all. As Christians they continually tell lies, never repent (if they truly did, they wouldn't tell lies), tell more lies, make up stories which are insulting to me (and my future husband by association), and when I get rightly angry, they think I'm overreacting. They think I'm in the wrong, not them. So many Christians pray for them, believing the lies in their daily prayer requests and other posts online. They post these like everywhere! After telling them off countless times, I gave up and tried ignoring them (which was hard knowing what they do behind my back). But they did this even in the places I go to (where I discovered many years ago and was going to first) and kept on doing this disgusting thing even in my sight! Knowing at times that I was reading, and at other times that I could be. That's another reason I totally dislike them. They refuse to grant me even my smallest request or respect even my smallest wish. Yet claim to "love" me. It's disgusting. They're like, in a sense: "I don't care about your feelings, wishes, or even thoughts of me. I only care about my own. Whether you like and want it or not, I want what I think I must have. So regardless of anything else, I'm gonna beg God till He gives you to me. If necessary, I must be happy at the cost of your unhappiness. But I assure you, despite all this, I totally love you and am in love with you" ! Hell will freeze over before I like either of the them in my life. Esp. w/ one of them, I'd rather take a bullet to my brain. They're the dumbest jerks I've ever met. I truly wish them gone from my life, but unfortunately God has given these stupid guys as spiritual brothers (which is the ONLY kind of relationship He's meant for us). This is such a pain. They are such a pain, that I wish for God to remove. Please pray God would teach them a lesson. They totally need it. They refuse to see how their deceitful words and actions are ruining their own lives and have caused much ruin in others' (incl. mine). They refuse to take responsibility by confessing and speaking the truth and trying to make amends. At the very least, not lying anymore. They continue with their unacceptable behaviour, yet hope and ask for many blessings from God (!). Not even just little but asks for MUCH. Apparently, any Bible teaching they've had is lost on them. They clearly dont know that regardless of how much they ask, God won't bless them when they're asking out of selfishness, greed, disobedience, and great sin in their life. I'd call it a big sin which leads to real death for others (ppl in and out of my life, incl. an old friend), and so much suffering and heartache for myself and others related. Moreover, which continually arouses anger in me, putting a stumbling block in my path and creates disturbance in my life. Though lying isn't their only sin. I've explained this spiritual truth to them, but as with anything else I say which is not to their liking - they won't listen. They only wanna hear what they wanna hear. They're such stubborn stupid pigs (- I've never said this to anyone else in my life). They need to know that God takes their sins seriously. That God means business, and that He won't let them get away with this always. In fact, He's not even now, with nothing going right for esp. one of them. They continue to live in sin, esp. with the sin of lying (not just sometimes like others - as Christians, these guys do all the time!) yet expect God to help and bless. And when He doesnt, when things continually get tough, they're apt to blame Him. Esp. one of the them. He does nothing but beg God. Then when God doesn't improve his situation and grants his desires, he rages instead of recognising that his problems are due to his and others' disobedience. He fails to see these as signs of God's displeasure, and that any possibly help God withholds from him (as at this time) is due to his completely wrong spiritual state. They dont even know me yet believe themselve to be in love w/ me. I've explained this to them also. If they knew me, they'd realise that I'd not in a life of a thousand years span would like somebody that hindered me in prayer and so kept me from praying for my friend at a crucial time, which resulted in her suicide (which could have been prevented. God had indicated I pray, but I was in such turmoil and grief, I didn't fully realise this till afterwards). Even if their actions played a large part in unintentionally allowing her death, through the effects of their lies on me - the lies were intentional. And they have not owned up to it to this day. Even after hearing this recently, they still refused to come clean and own their lies. They refuse to give me the truth surrounding the issues and events that had troubled me so, thus leading to failure in prayer and my friend's death. That is just one example of all the harm they caused in my life. Even IF there had been no other reason, this reason ALONE would be enough for me to never be able to accept them as "more than a friend" in this life. As I said, even if it were my choice, apart from God's will, I wouldn't. If not for God, I wouldn't have wanted to accept them even as a friend (which I don't, now), after their continual infuriating behaviour. Yet it isn't just one reason; there's like a hundred reasons why I dislike them. Instead of admitting their wrongs and taking their part of the responsibility, just as I have before God and others, they tried to dump the whole thing on me by accusing me of accusing them. They even labelled me with psychological problems, mental disorders and spiritual issues. They added even more to their lies. For so many reasons, esp. several very strong ones, I don't and don't want to and can't and won't ever like these lying pair in my life. The thought of them as a future spouse is a laugh. They know about the endless anger they've caused me (which affects even my physical health), that they've caused nothing but HARM in my life, yet they dare hope to remain in it and be beside me for life. To cause whose death?! Im so glad, am so so relieved, that God hasnt chosen either of them as my future spouse (despite them hoping and endlessing begging). Or else, I would've wanted to die and would've chosen to become a nun. I would even take my life, if not for hell. If they knew me, they would've given up long before, even before I revealed about my future spouse. Which I did, specially, for their own sake, when I hadn't told neone else - to save them many hours of waste in uselessly begging God (besides another reason of past truths I wanted from them). Much as I loathed them and have many reasons to, I did not want them to waste their life the same way they made me waste mine by lying, and making me pray for things that didnt need prayer at all. Cause it was made up. So I made the exception of telling them, yet they only used this knowledge to insult not only me (as if that's not bad enuf) but also my future spouse too, now, by refusing to acknowledge any possibility of him being God's choice for me. When he IS. And saying unbelievably outrageous things like that my future spouse stole me from them and he ruined my life, etc (NOT true. They dont even know who he is!), when it's THEM who ruined my life. If not for their lies, I wouldn't have made the choices I did, some of which, esp. one of which, led to a great mistake on my future spouse's part and resulted in so much heartache for us these few years. Due to the two liars, we've had an obstacle b/ween us these last few years, esp. 'cause of my idealistic nature. Despite my feelings, it was hard for me to accept him. We went through so much pain 'cause of it. All the pain we went through is largely because of these liars. For THIS reason alone, also, I could hate their guts. And I currently do - since they keep deliberately doing wrong despite knowing how it vexes me. Instead of feeling any rightful shame, they merely rejoice in anything that comes between me and my future spouse. They want me miserable so they can be happy. THEY make me miserable yet they insist on being in my life - and even that not just as a brother or friend but MORE, thus the conclusion. I dont want them even as a brother or friend. They are completely unworthy. They're nothing like a brother. To me, they've been anything but. They're spiritual brothers in name only. It isn't the fact that they dont know me and so, in truth, not loving me that's the matter. I DONT want them to know me and even love me for real. Thank goodness they don't. But they don't believe it themselves. Even apart from God's choice for me, there are several other guys (special brothers) in my life all of whom I'd much prefer to the deceitful pair. THEY, on the other hand, know me and love me as friends (some more) for real. They bring me joy and are my greatest comfort in life, after God. They listen, respect my wishes, and treat me as a sister from God. They are ten times more decent, ten times more honest, ten times more loyal, ten times more spiritually learned and are much closer to my ideals than the liars. The liars, on the contrary, not to mention being far, far from it, don't even know my high ideals. If they knew me, they would know that this is another reason that on its own cancels any possibility of their wish coming true. That is how much they dont know me. They dont know my dreams, my likes and dislikes (they should know it's them), my secret joys and suffering, my troubles, what I value and I love, my good and bad memories, my entire past, my truer personality and character, and my spiritual ability most of all. If they knew the last, they would have accepted my word on the spot, that God has revealed His will to me. Which I have checked with him more than once, and which He has confirmed several times already. On top of insulting me in all other things, incl my relationship with my future spouse, they disbelieve and so insult my spiritual relationship with God also. My good brothers, on the other hand, know all those things about me. They also accept my spiritual authority over them, given by God, as a sister in Christ. They (some of them) are willing to sacrifice for me - instead of hoping that I will make sacrifices for them, unlike some loser who hopes and prays for God to make the girl he (supposedly) likes fall for him and "be willing to make sacrifices for him". Probably hoping she'd want to give up riches and live in rags for him, and suffer not only mentally and emotionally from just "being w/ him" (emphasised cause the very thought of it disgusts even as an ideal) but also physically and financially due to hardship. What irresponsible and despicable thinking, not to mention way of speaking. Ive never heard a more disgusting thing in my life. YOU pray to be able to sacrifice for the one you love, not the other way around! This would be ANOTHER reason enough on its own for me to never accept such a low thinking jerk as anything more in my life. Did I say a hundred reasons? Make that a bazillion. My brothers were and are willing to make sacrifices for me, one even giving up something he loved doing. The idiotic liars, however, were not even willing to do something as simple as telling me the truth about the past (which relates to MY past). 'Cause of what it costs them. Simply this: embarrassment on their part and possible loss of my favour. Well, they totally lost it just by holding back from me the truth that's unquestionably important to me. They lost my favour by trying to save it. They can't make even that one small sacrifice, yet hope for me to make huge ones for them. It would be the sacrifice of my LIFE, if I had to accept one of them as a spouse. These guys are so completely muddled, perverse and shameless. May God have mercy on me and keep these idiots far from my life for the rest of my life. I have been put thru so much suffering 'cause of them and their atrocious lies. Please, pray. (Esp. pray that no more people, related to me or not, would suffer disasters in their lives as a consequence of these two's lies and actions and my reaction to them, i.e. being knocked down spiritually and failing to pray.) .
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