StartingToday Posted May 20, 2009 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/18/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Starting Today, I wonder if not all of this post got deleted because you need to talk to someone. So many here at Worthy have Godly advice and loving hearts. Maybe we can help. Maybe you need to talk. Marriage is a very important institution to God. You were very young when you got married, but you still made a commitment. So did your husband. Can I ask if you are both Christians? Marriages can be saved and all it takes is one of the partners wanting to save it. <>< ><> Nathele When we were first married no we weren't christians. We both believe in God, but in all honesty I didn't know what it meant to be a true christian until later. We started going to church about 10 yrs ago, we were both baptized and became members of our church. This lasted for about 2 yrs, those 2 yrs were the best yrs of our entire relationship/marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted May 20, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.22 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted May 20, 2009 Starting Today, I wonder if not all of this post got deleted because you need to talk to someone. So many here at Worthy have Godly advice and loving hearts. Maybe we can help. Maybe you need to talk. Marriage is a very important institution to God. You were very young when you got married, but you still made a commitment. So did your husband. Can I ask if you are both Christians? Marriages can be saved and all it takes is one of the partners wanting to save it. <>< ><> Nathele When we were first married no we weren't christians. We both believe in God, but in all honesty I didn't know what it meant to be a true christian until later. We started going to church about 10 yrs ago, we were both baptized and became members of our church. This lasted for about 2 yrs, those 2 yrs were the best yrs of our entire relationship/marriage. May I ask what is stopping you from returning to where the two of you were? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StartingToday Posted May 21, 2009 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/18/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted May 21, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 21, 2009 Startingover - have you and your husband had any counseling for your marriage? It's hard to live with someone under the conditions you describe. You have a lot of mistrust and anger and apparently he does too. Living as 'roommates' is a hard and lonely thing to do especially for that long (7-8 yrs). Do you want to save your marriage? Does he? If there is a chance -no matter how small, maybe you should pursue counseling. God forgives our sins if we repent and ask for His Grace and Mercy and forgiveness. You are not dead. You aren't - your heart is just hurting now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StartingToday Posted May 21, 2009 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/18/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Startingover - have you and your husband had any counseling for your marriage? It's hard to live with someone under the conditions you describe. You have a lot of mistrust and anger and apparently he does too. Living as 'roommates' is a hard and lonely thing to do especially for that long (7-8 yrs). Do you want to save your marriage? Does he? If there is a chance -no matter how small, maybe you should pursue counseling. God forgives our sins if we repent and ask for His Grace and Mercy and forgiveness. You are not dead. You aren't - your heart is just hurting now. I have asked my husband several times for us to go to marriage counseling. His response every time is "There is nothing wrong with me, it's you!" He really likes telling me that I have the issues, that I am a miserable person and I just like making other people miserable. He has told me to seek counseling for myself because I need it. As far as reconciliation, I honestly don't have it in me. I started working on my salvation 4 months ago. He kind of mocks me with my religion. He has told me the Bible I am reading is doing me no good. I then responded maybe he should pick up a Bible, his response was if reading the Bible turns a person into someone like me, why bother. I believe he holds a grudge on me because I have seen him for who he really is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted May 21, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 21, 2009 Startingover - have you and your husband had any counseling for your marriage? It's hard to live with someone under the conditions you describe. You have a lot of mistrust and anger and apparently he does too. Living as 'roommates' is a hard and lonely thing to do especially for that long (7-8 yrs). Do you want to save your marriage? Does he? If there is a chance -no matter how small, maybe you should pursue counseling. God forgives our sins if we repent and ask for His Grace and Mercy and forgiveness. You are not dead. You aren't - your heart is just hurting now. I have asked my husband several times for us to go to marriage counseling. His response every time is "There is nothing wrong with me, it's you!" He really likes telling me that I have the issues, that I am a miserable person and I just like making other people miserable. He has told me to seek counseling for myself because I need it. As far as reconciliation, I honestly don't have it in me. I started working on my salvation 4 months ago. He kind of mocks me with my religion. He has told me the Bible I am reading is doing me no good. I then responded maybe he should pick up a Bible, his response was if reading the Bible turns a person into someone like me, why bother. I believe he holds a grudge on me because I have seen him for who he really is. I heard some of these same comments before and I will tell you what I did - I went to counseling - alone. I needed to tell someone what was happening - I felt like no matter how much I prayed and asked for guidance and direction that I was in a dense fog. I went to an excellent Christian counselor alone for almost 2 years. It helped tremendously. You keep reading your Bible - do not let him or anyone tell you it does no good. Keep reading and praying and go to God in prayer! And... pray for him, too. That was hard for me to do - but I did it and I had to forgive him so that I could move forward in my Walk with Jesus. I will pray for your strength and courage to overcome these challenges. Keep your focus on The Lord. Blessings!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamP Posted May 23, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 74 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/19/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/13/1948 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Very good advice Butero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted May 23, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 23, 2009 Startingover - have you and your husband had any counseling for your marriage? It's hard to live with someone under the conditions you describe. You have a lot of mistrust and anger and apparently he does too. Living as 'roommates' is a hard and lonely thing to do especially for that long (7-8 yrs). Do you want to save your marriage? Does he? If there is a chance -no matter how small, maybe you should pursue counseling. God forgives our sins if we repent and ask for His Grace and Mercy and forgiveness. You are not dead. You aren't - your heart is just hurting now. I have asked my husband several times for us to go to marriage counseling. His response every time is "There is nothing wrong with me, it's you!" He really likes telling me that I have the issues, that I am a miserable person and I just like making other people miserable. He has told me to seek counseling for myself because I need it. As far as reconciliation, I honestly don't have it in me. I started working on my salvation 4 months ago. He kind of mocks me with my religion. He has told me the Bible I am reading is doing me no good. I then responded maybe he should pick up a Bible, his response was if reading the Bible turns a person into someone like me, why bother. I believe he holds a grudge on me because I have seen him for who he really is. Here is my advise to you. Don't ask anything of your husband. Just be nice to him regardless of how he is behaving. At the same time, keep reading your Bible and pray each day for God to turn your marriage around. Your husband is bitter towards you for some reason, and the only thing you can do to change that is to turn the other cheek and be nice unconditionally. Here is some scripture that I hope will be of help to you. 1 Peter 3:1-2 LIKEWISE, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. You do what is right regardless of what your husband does, and see if things don't improve over time? I have a question - Does God mean that wives should be under the subjection of husbands who are not living as Christians and doing UnGodly things? Christian wives should obey and follow husbands who are living an ugly and UnChristian lifestyle and committing adultery and other sins? Just wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Startingover - have you and your husband had any counseling for your marriage? It's hard to live with someone under the conditions you describe. You have a lot of mistrust and anger and apparently he does too. Living as 'roommates' is a hard and lonely thing to do especially for that long (7-8 yrs). Do you want to save your marriage? Does he? If there is a chance -no matter how small, maybe you should pursue counseling. God forgives our sins if we repent and ask for His Grace and Mercy and forgiveness. You are not dead. You aren't - your heart is just hurting now. I have asked my husband several times for us to go to marriage counseling. His response every time is "There is nothing wrong with me, it's you!" He really likes telling me that I have the issues, that I am a miserable person and I just like making other people miserable. He has told me to seek counseling for myself because I need it. As far as reconciliation, I honestly don't have it in me. I started working on my salvation 4 months ago. He kind of mocks me with my religion. He has told me the Bible I am reading is doing me no good. I then responded maybe he should pick up a Bible, his response was if reading the Bible turns a person into someone like me, why bother. I believe he holds a grudge on me because I have seen him for who he really is. Here is my advise to you. Don't ask anything of your husband. Just be nice to him regardless of how he is behaving. At the same time, keep reading your Bible and pray each day for God to turn your marriage around. Your husband is bitter towards you for some reason, and the only thing you can do to change that is to turn the other cheek and be nice unconditionally. Here is some scripture that I hope will be of help to you. 1 Peter 3:1-2 LIKEWISE, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. You do what is right regardless of what your husband does, and see if things don't improve over time? I have a question - Does God mean that wives should be under the subjection of husbands who are not living as Christians and doing UnGodly things? Christian wives should obey and follow husbands who are living an ugly and UnChristian lifestyle and committing adultery and other sins? Just wondering. Obviously, these husbands are not living a Christian lifestyle, because it says, "if any obey not the word." Jesus gave one exception where divorce is permissible, and that is fornication. The word translated fornication can also mean adultery. That doesn't mean God wants any divorce to take place, but that he allows it when fornication is involved. God's will is that reconciliation take place whenever possible. Malachi 2:16 tells us that the Lord "hateth putting away," or divorce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted May 24, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 24, 2009 Startingover - have you and your husband had any counseling for your marriage? It's hard to live with someone under the conditions you describe. You have a lot of mistrust and anger and apparently he does too. Living as 'roommates' is a hard and lonely thing to do especially for that long (7-8 yrs). Do you want to save your marriage? Does he? If there is a chance -no matter how small, maybe you should pursue counseling. God forgives our sins if we repent and ask for His Grace and Mercy and forgiveness. You are not dead. You aren't - your heart is just hurting now. I have asked my husband several times for us to go to marriage counseling. His response every time is "There is nothing wrong with me, it's you!" He really likes telling me that I have the issues, that I am a miserable person and I just like making other people miserable. He has told me to seek counseling for myself because I need it. As far as reconciliation, I honestly don't have it in me. I started working on my salvation 4 months ago. He kind of mocks me with my religion. He has told me the Bible I am reading is doing me no good. I then responded maybe he should pick up a Bible, his response was if reading the Bible turns a person into someone like me, why bother. I believe he holds a grudge on me because I have seen him for who he really is. Here is my advise to you. Don't ask anything of your husband. Just be nice to him regardless of how he is behaving. At the same time, keep reading your Bible and pray each day for God to turn your marriage around. Your husband is bitter towards you for some reason, and the only thing you can do to change that is to turn the other cheek and be nice unconditionally. Here is some scripture that I hope will be of help to you. 1 Peter 3:1-2 LIKEWISE, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. You do what is right regardless of what your husband does, and see if things don't improve over time? I have a question - Does God mean that wives should be under the subjection of husbands who are not living as Christians and doing UnGodly things? Christian wives should obey and follow husbands who are living an ugly and UnChristian lifestyle and committing adultery and other sins? Just wondering. Obviously, these husbands are not living a Christian lifestyle, because it says, "if any obey not the word." Jesus gave one exception where divorce is permissible, and that is fornication. The word translated fornication can also mean adultery. That doesn't mean God wants any divorce to take place, but that he allows it when fornication is involved. God's will is that reconciliation take place whenever possible. Malachi 2:16 tells us that the Lord "hateth putting away," or divorce. If a married man is doing things that are very questionable and 'lusting in his heart' - is that adultery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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