Need some advice

[mikerunk]

I need some advice on how to handle a delicate matter, but first I need to give you some background so you have enough info to work with. This might be a little long so please bare with me.

When a teenager (probably about 14 years of age) I had a lot of behavior problems and there was also some abuse going on at home (at least from my perspective, one that other people who I have share this with in greater details agree with me on). I had all ready been in a group home a few years before. Now things had gotten so out of control that I went to my school councilor and told them everything that went on. This lead to the state getting involved and me eventually going back in to a group home for boys (there is some stuff that happen in between but it's not important to the problem I am faced).

Now a few months after getting to the group home (which was on a ranch not that it matters for the subject at hand) the lady who ran the program had told me that my Mom and Step Dad had accused me of sexually abusing my little sister (who was 5 at the time I think. I also had a brother to who was 11). I told her that I didn't and she left it at that. Later one of the staff basically forced me in to admitting to sexually abusing my little sister. He did this by grilling me for hours till I was so tired that I was willing to admit it just to get to go to bed, to this day I wish I never admitted to it. Well life sucked after that but eventually I pulled my self together to certain degree. I stopped trusting adults but I got over that to.

Now shortly after getting to the ranch my Mom and Step Dad refused to have anything to do with me. In fact all my family refused to have anything to do with me. My real Dad and his side of the family really didn't have a choice, he had no idea what was going on. This is no fault of his own, he was not allowed to have contact with me...long story not important here.

Any way when I was leaving the ranch I was talking to Rose Marry (the lady who ran the program) and my case worker and said to them "You know I never sexually abused my little sister, right" and they both looked at me and said we know. I think this had to do with the fact that I had been a Den Chief and I never did anything like that nor have I done anything that fits the pattern of some one who does those sorts of things.

Now we warp head to today, I now have a great family. God has been so good to me and blessed me by not only putting me back in to contact with my Dad but I also have a Mom (his current wife) who loves me, plus two sisters, a brother in law, and what not. Any way just recently I found my Mom on face book. I sent her an email and heard nothing back it was a short email and that was it and she didn't respond. I decided that there were things I wanted to say to her and had for years, the big one was the me molesting my little sister. Any way she responded back.

In the response back she tells me that the state had enough proof that they wanted to prosecute me as an adult but she refuse to press charges. I of course know this is a complete untrue because DA would have gone head and filed the charges if they had enough to proof to get a conviction no matter what she wanted. Not to mention that I flat out never did it.

Now the problem is I don't know how I should respond back. I know I didn't do it and God knows I didn't do it. However I don't know if I should respond back to this or if I should even respond at all. It really hurts me to think that my own mother believes I did this, even worse is if she knows I didn't and accused me of this. I don't know how I should handle this, do any of you have any advice on this. What would Christ want me to do.

You want to know what the worst part of all this is, I feel guilty about something I didn't even do. Any way any advice you could give would be most helpful.

[wyguy]

Forgive you mother. And leave your past in the past. If your mom wants to give a chance to prove your innocence to her, that would be great. If she doesn't, then just let it go.

[georgedrw81]

Forgive you mother. And leave your past in the past. If your mom wants to give a chance to prove your innocence to her, that would be great. If she doesn't, then just let it go.

Right.

Praying

[Nly10d1]

Forgiveness is an amazing healing process.

Do what your heart of heart feels.....that is the Holy Spirits dwelling place and there you cannot go wrong. Marinate in that place for awhile before you react out of an irrational emotion. Holy Spirit will guide you to what is best for the good of all involved.

God Bless

[mikerunk]

Well I sent her an email back and though I forgive her and my step dad for things they did to me, after all if I can't forgive them then how can God forgive me for things I have done. I told her that I have enough guilt on my shoulders, enough demons that I don't need more. I told her that as much as I forgive them that there is to much pain for use to ever be a family again. I have family now that loves me and cares about me. That to me is good enough. I am very grateful to the lord for at least given me the chance to say my peace. To ask there forgiveness, which she never directly did I might add now that I think about it.

It really hurts me what she said. I mean reading that email and her say the DA was going to prosecute me as an adult, really hurt me. I know none of it was true, I know I never molested my sister. However it hurts me because I been carrying that with me all these years I feel like I have been branded for something I didn't do and all I want it is for to admit I didn't do it. Every time I think about this I break down in tears because it hurts me so badly. I just wanted to be vendicated, to be free of this. Now I just want God to take this pain way.

any way like said I told her that I think there just so main that has been created that there was no way to repair the damage completely. I told her that I forgive them and wished them the best of luck.

[B3L13v3R]

It does sound like you have a good family now, much to be thankful for!

When our father and mother forsake us physically and or spiritually, the Lord will then take us up when we are blood bought through the Lord Jesus Christ. He will teach us and show us things that our mother and father should have of, if we should desire Him and His ways to teach us.

Psa 27:10-14

(10) When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

(11) Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

(12) Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

(13) I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

(14) Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Ask God to cleanse you from the guilt of something you yourself said you did not do. Ask God to renew your mind in this place.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Don't listen to the lies of the enemy. Look to be strong in the Lord.

Eph 6:10-17

(10) Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

(11) Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

(12) For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

(13) Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

(14) Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

(15) And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

(16) Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

(17) And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Give God the hurt and pain.

Mat 11:28-30

(28) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

(29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

(30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

It's good that you forgave them, keep them in prayer for their salvation to be found in Christ.

Perhaps consider forwarding this link to your mom: http://www.NeedGod.com

[Nly10d1]

Well I sent her an email back and though I forgive her and my step dad for things they did to me, after all if I can't forgive them then how can God forgive me for things I have done. I told her that I have enough guilt on my shoulders, enough demons that I don't need more. I told her that as much as I forgive them that there is to much pain for use to ever be a family again. I have family now that loves me and cares about me. That to me is good enough. I am very grateful to the lord for at least given me the chance to say my peace. To ask there forgiveness, which she never directly did I might add now that I think about it.

It really hurts me what she said. I mean reading that email and her say the DA was going to prosecute me as an adult, really hurt me. I know none of it was true, I know I never molested my sister. However it hurts me because I been carrying that with me all these years I feel like I have been branded for something I didn't do and all I want it is for to admit I didn't do it. Every time I think about this I break down in tears because it hurts me so badly. I just wanted to be vendicated, to be free of this. Now I just want God to take this pain way.

any way like said I told her that I think there just so main that has been created that there was no way to repair the damage completely. I told her that I forgive them and wished them the best of luck.

If you still feel guilt, if you still feel pain [with who is irrelevant].....you haven't forgave.

Forgiveness is not about them accepting the responsiblity, making them feel what they did to you [that's between them and God]. Forgiveness is about you and being able to move on. Forgiveness is about letting go of such pain for your own spiritual healing and growth.

YOU are the one who can't sleep at night. YOU are the one hurting. YOU are the one in tears. It's not about THEM.

When you let go of all that suffering, what you're really allowing to happen is giving Gods grace to come into YOU and heal all that pain.

When you keep holding onto "it"...you're keeping "it"!.......

Let go - you are His child, not theirs

[mikerunk]

Well I sent her an email back and though I forgive her and my step dad for things they did to me, after all if I can't forgive them then how can God forgive me for things I have done. I told her that I have enough guilt on my shoulders, enough demons that I don't need more. I told her that as much as I forgive them that there is to much pain for use to ever be a family again. I have family now that loves me and cares about me. That to me is good enough. I am very grateful to the lord for at least given me the chance to say my peace. To ask there forgiveness, which she never directly did I might add now that I think about it.

It really hurts me what she said. I mean reading that email and her say the DA was going to prosecute me as an adult, really hurt me. I know none of it was true, I know I never molested my sister. However it hurts me because I been carrying that with me all these years I feel like I have been branded for something I didn't do and all I want it is for to admit I didn't do it. Every time I think about this I break down in tears because it hurts me so badly. I just wanted to be vendicated, to be free of this. Now I just want God to take this pain way.

any way like said I told her that I think there just so main that has been created that there was no way to repair the damage completely. I told her that I forgive them and wished them the best of luck.

If you still feel guilt, if you still feel pain [with who is irrelevant].....you haven't forgave.

Forgiveness is not about them accepting the responsiblity, making them feel what they did to you [that's between them and God]. Forgiveness is about you and being able to move on. Forgiveness is about letting go of such pain for your own spiritual healing and growth.

YOU are the one who can't sleep at night. YOU are the one hurting. YOU are the one in tears. It's not about THEM.

When you let go of all that suffering, what you're really allowing to happen is giving Gods grace to come into YOU and heal all that pain.

When you keep holding onto "it"...you're keeping "it"!.......

Let go - you are His child, not theirs

First off I never said I couldn't sleep at night, only that it hurts know that I was accused of this horrible thing. Second it's easy to say just let that go, but it's really not.

However I have done that finally. I told my Mom once and for all in email not but a few min ago, that I didn't do what they say I did. I know that, the people who know me know that, God himself knows that. I told her that I am done with the pain, I have held on to it for 19 years and will no longer hold on to it any more. I told her I was leaving my pain in that email and walking away from it once and for all.

However at the same time I can not have a relationship with people who believe I did such a thing. I told them it is the very reason we can not repair our relationship. I leave there fate in Gods hands. I have a the Lord who loves me but I also have a family who loves me as well and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

[Nly10d1]

Well I sent her an email back and though I forgive her and my step dad for things they did to me, after all if I can't forgive them then how can God forgive me for things I have done. I told her that I have enough guilt on my shoulders, enough demons that I don't need more. I told her that as much as I forgive them that there is to much pain for use to ever be a family again. I have family now that loves me and cares about me. That to me is good enough. I am very grateful to the lord for at least given me the chance to say my peace. To ask there forgiveness, which she never directly did I might add now that I think about it.

It really hurts me what she said. I mean reading that email and her say the DA was going to prosecute me as an adult, really hurt me. I know none of it was true, I know I never molested my sister. However it hurts me because I been carrying that with me all these years I feel like I have been branded for something I didn't do and all I want it is for to admit I didn't do it. Every time I think about this I break down in tears because it hurts me so badly. I just wanted to be vendicated, to be free of this. Now I just want God to take this pain way.

any way like said I told her that I think there just so main that has been created that there was no way to repair the damage completely. I told her that I forgive them and wished them the best of luck.

If you still feel guilt, if you still feel pain [with who is irrelevant].....you haven't forgave.

Forgiveness is not about them accepting the responsiblity, making them feel what they did to you [that's between them and God]. Forgiveness is about you and being able to move on. Forgiveness is about letting go of such pain for your own spiritual healing and growth.

YOU are the one who can't sleep at night. YOU are the one hurting. YOU are the one in tears. It's not about THEM.

When you let go of all that suffering, what you're really allowing to happen is giving Gods grace to come into YOU and heal all that pain.

When you keep holding onto "it"...you're keeping "it"!.......

Let go - you are His child, not theirs

First off I never said I couldn't sleep at night, only that it hurts know that I was accused of this horrible thing. Second it's easy to say just let that go, but it's really not.

However I have done that finally. I told my Mom once and for all in email not but a few min ago, that I didn't do what they say I did. I know that, the people who know me know that, God himself knows that. I told her that I am done with the pain, I have held on to it for 19 years and will no longer hold on to it any more. I told her I was leaving my pain in that email and walking away from it once and for all.

However at the same time I can not have a relationship with people who believe I did such a thing. I told them it is the very reason we can not repair our relationship. I leave there fate in Gods hands. I have a the Lord who loves me but I also have a family who loves me as well and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

I know that is not what you said.....I was using it as a generalization of the pain you carry.

Best of luck