Guest Cyn Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 I was searching for information on depression and found this web site. I am a Christian and struggle with depression. I have ever since I was a teenager. I don't remember feeling this way when I was a child. I do remember what it feels like to not be depressed. When I get depressed, it is usually really bad for a day or two (ie- thoughts of suicide, etc.) then goes back to the usual depression feelings (ie- feelings of loneliness, nothing makes me really happy, get easily angered). It has only been really bad like this since I have had my baby 11 months ago. But I thought that post-partem depression only lasted up to 6 months. I have felt this way as a teeneager before but thought at the time it was normal. I have so much to be joyful about. Besides being saved and living everyday with God by my side, I also have a husband and a son. I am sorry I feel this way, but when I get really depressed I grow to hate them. I hate my husband and I get so angry at my son when he cries or requires too much attention. Please do not get me wrong, I NEVER abuse or show my anger to my son. I just boil up inside and get more depressed. But I know I do not treat my husband right. I have thoughts all the time that I don't want to be with him and I wish we never married. When I try to talk to him about my feelings he gets angry and won't listen. And when he does listen, he just says, "Sorry, it is my fault" just to end the converstaion as quickly as possible. I have thoughts all the time about leaving him but where would I go? And I believe that divorce is not right. So I sit in my depressed state while God tries to tell me to just have joy and to thwart the evil thoughts that Satan puts in my head. But it is so hard. Should I go to a Dr? Will medicine help? Or is this just a spiritual battle? And if it is, I need prayer. Please help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted July 30, 2004 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 599 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,250 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,981 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted July 30, 2004 Cyn, there are many things that can cause depression. I experienced what was basically chemically induced depression from taking a prescription drug for asthma that kept me from sleeping. I went from 8 hours a night to between three and four. This lasted for two years untill I went to a councelor and he recomended my doctor give me something to make me sleep. The long term sleep disorder had drastically changed my brain chemistry and I not only got depressed, but after a year and a half got rather spookey to live with. My doctor checked and one of the really rare side affects of theophline was gross insomnia. I stopped taking the drug..... the sleep returned...... problem solved. That is not so easy to do for a mother (if that is the problem) while this is most likely a worse case example, sleep depravation is a serious problem and depression is one of the things it causes or aggrivates. Just some personal experience with the depression problem, Sam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LCPGUY Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Hi Cyn, Sam is right on in that it could be a chemical imbalance. But then again, it could be spiritual. If so, prayer is the answer. Are you and your husband both born-again believers in Christ? Maybe, you should post a prayer request in the Prayer Request forum. The are several folks here who have, and still do, suffer from depression and when they see this post I know they will jump in to help you. In His Love, Bro John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cyn Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Thank you, Sam and John. I feel a lot better than I did earlier. I took some time to get out of the house and I feel a bit more revived. I re-read what I wrote and I really think it is definitely a spiritual battle, along with circumstances. I think Satan uses my circumstances to try to debilitate me. I don't think it is chemical, unless the circumstances cause the chemical. It is just that so many things have happened in my life just in the last year. I have quit my job (to stay home with my son), bought a house and moved, gotten married (2 years ago), had a baby, and my husband has changed jobs. It has been a big change to stay at home all day and take care of my son. He is wonderful. But he is 11 months old and requires my attention all the time. I have just had to adjust to always being on call and not having all the time I want to relax or have time to myself. My husband works a lot to make up for me not working. I wish he were home more but I am thankful I can stay home with my son. Sometimes it seems like the more he is gone, the more I have time to dwell on things that are wrong. I get angry that he is out late (at work) or if he wants to hang out with friends. I start thinking that I would be better off without him, which I know is a complete lie from Satan. I think that ultimately I have made him my god instead of God. I depend too much on him being here to comfort me and be my friend rather than the only One who can and will always be there. Yes, my husband is a Christian. We are currently going to a church but are not very involved. I am sorry this is so long. I would appreciate prayers and thank you again for the advice. Cyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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