~Shalhevet~ Posted August 18, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 If I am dependent in Valium I am so ashamed because I never EVER saw this coming. Valium makes me Feel like I can function right now. It is taking the edge off the agitation and feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin at times. And the insomnia it helps too. So I have to keep Taking it until my celexa starts to work. I can't get depressed about taking the Valium because my body needs it right now. It's funny because I thought I threw all these old medications away a long time ago. But this one found it's way back into my medicine cabinet. I don't know if I'm dependent and neither does the doctor but she did say I need to try and stop it in two weeks. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Of course I'm not sure if it is Valium withdrawal because I've been taking it and still having some anxiety. But perhaps I'm anxious about quitting Valium? My mind is my worst enemy right now. Anyway. The big news is that my day really took a turn. I feel good at least for now. I praise God for the peace I have at this moment even if it is short lived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted August 18, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 542 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 33,035 Content Per Day: 5.05 Reputation: 23,851 Days Won: 236 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Online Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shalhevet~ Posted August 18, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 Btw. I had to lol at the old hairy legs comment. Hahahah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shalhevet~ Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 19, 2010 Last night was rough. Was feeling quite anxious about stopping valium. I had a bad experience going off of the valium so the devil is trying to convince me that I need more of it. He's been telling me that this past year the only reason I was happy and functional is because of valium. He's a clever and persistent one. I will give him that. We battled last night and again this morning. Praise God that He gave me some sleep in order to beat this last round. I started having an attack, sat in the bathtub and started reading scripture (at 4 a.m.). The Lord is lifting me through this. He has come for me. He is giving me peace in between attacks. I think I should talk to my doctor today because of my increase in anxiety. I'm scared that the devil is playing mind games with me right now and I don't trust anything that I'm doing. I think it would be good for me to blog about what's happening to me so that I can look back and see this as my testimony when I'm done with this battle. How do the blogs work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shalhevet~ Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 19, 2010 Of course He wants me to take more valium. That only makes sense. He wants to destroy me. Wow. This fight may be bigger than I thought. But I can do this with God on my side. I will praise his holy name the whole way through. Devil has me in a mind trap and is trying to confuse me. But I know the TRUTH already. I know my God has plans to prosper me not harm me. My God loves me. My God would never make me feel this way. Boy, if what I've been feeling the past few days is anything like hell, I DO NOT want to go there. I just don't understand why the devil wants me of all people. What is his attraction to me? I'm not giving up. I'm not going to give in to his lies. Why does he think he can convince me into believing them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiloh62 Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 83 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,683 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 51 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/14/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/14/1962 Share Posted August 19, 2010 I'm sorry to bother you all again but I'm so scared right now. I feel the enemy bringing me closer and closer to him and away from God. I can barely keep my mind focus on God and am very distracted by my symptoms and what is going on around me. I cannot stay grounded. I fear I am falling away and I am SO SCARED. I don't want to fall away. I need God right now. I know He's there but I can't feel Him. Why is He allowing this to happen to me? I know He has a perfect plan but this hurts me so much inside. Please pray that I don't fall away. If I fall away, will i go to hell? Please pray. Please! If you are not in a church already , get into a church and talk to your pastor. Have you been saved? Praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shalhevet~ Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 19, 2010 I am saved. I don't know why I'm so afraid. I think the devil wants me back. I am saved. I know where I'm going when I die. The enemy is playing mind games with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiloh62 Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 83 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,683 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 51 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/14/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/14/1962 Share Posted August 19, 2010 I am saved. I don't know why I'm so afraid. I think the devil wants me back. I am saved. I know where I'm going when I die. The enemy is playing mind games with me. Please make an appointment with your pastor so you can talk to him, and get involved with the activities of the church. If you are saved,the devil can't take you back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shalhevet~ Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 334 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2,049 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 4 Joined: 08/13/2009 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 19, 2010 I know he can't have me back but he is sure trying his hardest! He's such a liar! And he's good at what he does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiloh62 Posted August 19, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 83 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,683 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 51 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/14/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/14/1962 Share Posted August 19, 2010 I know he can't have me back but he is sure trying his hardest! He's such a liar! And he's good at what he does. Being a liar is his number one job. Just remember that you belong to Jesus. Next time the devil starts accusing you , tell him "whatever." The more credit you give him, the more believable he will become. We can't give him credit when he doesn't deserve it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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