Lomi Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 108 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 437 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 62 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/13/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/20/1979 Share Posted March 1, 2011 A Kaleidoscope of feelings flickered in my mind. Anger, Hurt, Revenge, Numbness, Frustration , ect. I can go on & on. How do you forgive someone who killed your loved ones, and still feels guilty for feeling that way about them? How do you keep smilling when you feel like breaking down and cry? Am I going slowly insane? I must be strong for the family needs me, I must tell them that DADDY GOD still cares and HE know the pain & will heal... Am I putting on a mask again? WIll I become part of this world of plastic people, thinking that they happy, while the white walls inside is crumbling & breaking down? I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just seems so far away? Am I wrong in thinking why did it have to be them, why not me? I still hear YOUR voice saying YOU are near...I still know YOU can comfort like YOU did before... Yet I want to run away from it, but my heart won't let me. For the LOve I have for YOU DADDY GOD is more than this madness going inside of me. So on bended knees, broken & bruised inside, tears floading my face, I call out to YOU just to hold me tight and don't let go! Oh how I need YOU DADDY to shine YOUR Light Clearly & Brightly to us. Help us to forgive & help the person that drove that vehicle. Let YOUR Loving grace & mercy touch him. DADDY, oh how it hurts so much...can YOU please ease this pain...it's driving me insane... I know YOU hear, I know YOU know my heart. Come and have YOUR rightful place here in my heart, and mend this brokenness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldust59 Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 108 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 989 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 124 Days Won: 6 Joined: 01/08/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/13/1959 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Bless you sister Lomi, I am praying for His peace to fill you during this difficult time. your sister, Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.95 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Lomi - it's OK to mourn. Anger is a part of the mourning process. You need to let yourself scream and cry. Not cursing, of course, but just get it out. You can do this in private if needed. But by allowing yourself to express what you feel, you can get through it more efficiently. As for your family, it might be good for them to know that you share their feelings, but that you are choosing not to fall into despair with these feelings. But please don't think it is wrong to cry and grieve and feel a turmoil of emotions. The difference is what you do with them - curse or love? Turn form God or run to God? You have a sensitive heart, and that's a good thing. You will be able to find the strength to experience God's love for this person. But don't punish yourself for not feeling this now. You've got to get through the mourning first, let the wave of your emotions crash and settle. Then you will find the grace is there, if you choose to take it. OK? Prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 539 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,786 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 23,465 Days Won: 223 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Even God was angry when He saw His son die.... Jesus called out and asked His father to forgive us You cannot grieve if you are also angry at feeling hurt .... forgivness WILL come but at this point you need to get through the hurt and the grief and the anger first ...your family may also need to see you go through this or when you try to comfort them and help them to forgive they may turn on you and say you didnt care since you could forgive so easily . IT IS NOT AN EASY THING TO DO Cry out, scream, ask God why and then wait and listen for the right time to let the healing start and the forgivness begin My deepest thoughts and prayers for you and your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUVNCHRIST Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 18 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 393 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 24 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/22/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/05/1959 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Lome ladypeartree and nebula has said it all. I can only add that my heart felt prayers are with you and your family during this time. Take refuge in the arms of the One who knows the depth of your despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logos7 Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 30 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 283 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/04/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/01/1983 Share Posted March 1, 2011 A Kaleidoscope of feelings flickered in my mind. Anger, Hurt, Revenge, Numbness, Frustration , ect. I can go on & on. How do you forgive someone who killed your loved ones, and still feels guilty for feeling that way about them? How do you keep smilling when you feel like breaking down and cry? Am I going slowly insane? I must be strong for the family needs me, I must tell them that DADDY GOD still cares and HE know the pain & will heal... Am I putting on a mask again? WIll I become part of this world of plastic people, thinking that they happy, while the white walls inside is crumbling & breaking down? I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just seems so far away? Am I wrong in thinking why did it have to be them, why not me? I still hear YOUR voice saying YOU are near...I still know YOU can comfort like YOU did before... Yet I want to run away from it, but my heart won't let me. For the LOve I have for YOU DADDY GOD is more than this madness going inside of me. So on bended knees, broken & bruised inside, tears floading my face, I call out to YOU just to hold me tight and don't let go! Oh how I need YOU DADDY to shine YOUR Light Clearly & Brightly to us. Help us to forgive & help the person that drove that vehicle. Let YOUR Loving grace & mercy touch him. DADDY, oh how it hurts so much...can YOU please ease this pain...it's driving me insane... I know YOU hear, I know YOU know my heart. Come and have YOUR rightful place here in my heart, and mend this brokenness... Thank you, Lomi! For my weak faith is made stronger, by your Strong Faith. Remember Solomon the Second wisest man in the world stated in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8--"1) To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven... 4) A time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn...8) A time to love, and a time to hate... Paul wrote "Be ye angry, and sin not let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Ephesians 4:26 It is okay to be angry about something or at someone but if you dwell on it to much it will destroy you not the one your angry at. I will be praying that God will give you His peace to keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blien Posted March 1, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 346 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,050 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 46 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/02/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1982 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Praying for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Praying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lomi Posted March 2, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 108 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 437 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 62 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/13/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/20/1979 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 I thank DADDY GOD for all of you. I appreciate you. I was so afraid that the feelings I feel is wrong. I thought I have to be stronger & not this weak. THen I read DADDY's Word and HE said that when I am weak, HE is Strong. Oh how I wish I could cry so that all this inside can be easier. How do I cry? When I start I will not be able to stop? I do not hate the person that killed them, DADDY GOD knows I feel angry towards him. I also pity him, for he doesn't know DADDY, how will he cope with this? I find a sense of peace whenever I read the Word. Last night when my hubby hugged me and I laid my head on his lap afterwards, I went far away and it felt like I am laying my head on DADDY's lap... I was in another world. Thank you for listening to me. THe funeral is this Saturday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted March 2, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.95 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted March 2, 2011 How do I cry? When I start I will not be able to stop? It's OK to cry, and it releases a lot more emotion. Even if you cry a long time, the emotions will get out faster if you let yourself cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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