Marnie Posted January 17, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 811 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 7,338 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 76 Days Won: 2 Joined: 10/06/2005 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Hey, I like your husband's idea. Very good. Our son is autistic and given to bratty behavior from time to time - loud, acting out, generally disruptive - so we just don't take him certain places where it would be awkward for us or others if he goes off. Some people would look at him and say he's spoiled rotten, not knowing the truth. I think that's why I am a little or a lot sensitive about this issue. I guess it does boils down to consideration all the way around, and unfortunately, our society, while priding itself on its tolerance, is often lacking in consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted January 17, 2014 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,147 Content Per Day: 4.61 Reputation: 27,842 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted January 17, 2014 Blessings Everyone.. I am sure the parents know very well how their child/children behave and I do believe it was very inconsiderate of them to bring the child to this restuarant & I also think that if they can afford a min$200. dollar non-refundable reservation then they could probably afford to chalk it off..... In my opinion,for what it is worth as my Grandfather was a Master Chef & my family had many restaurants,it is his decision to do whatever he wants as owner of this establishment.......I would guess while some may take offense ,others will appreciate a sort of "guarantee" ambiance..... I believe as Marnie practices.....write off a dinner or two in a case of displeased customer & have that customer for life....it is good business! With love,in Christ-Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qnts2 Posted January 17, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,875 Content Per Day: 0.70 Reputation: 1,336 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/13/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted January 17, 2014 Hey, I like your husband's idea. Very good. Our son is autistic and given to bratty behavior from time to time - loud, acting out, generally disruptive - so we just don't take him certain places where it would be awkward for us or others if he goes off. Some people would look at him and say he's spoiled rotten, not knowing the truth. I think that's why I am a little or a lot sensitive about this issue. I guess it does boils down to consideration all the way around, and unfortunately, our society, while priding itself on its tolerance, is often lacking in consideration. I would not consider you son as bratty. When I eat out, like most people, I go to various family restaurants. Restaurants where the pricing is inexpensive. We do not have any children (not by choice) so are not as used to the noise level parents with young children are accustomed to. We are aware of that so expect a restaurant with children to be noisier then we are used to in our homes. We have found that some parents are less inclined to consider others when eating in a restaurant. A couple of examples: 1. a restaurant which has a play area for children so the parents can take their time eating and their children will be occupied. Of course the play area is very noisy and the kids get very excited. We have had children, run from the play area past our table, sometimes bumping us or the table, to their parents, all excited. No problem. Kids get excited and the restaurant allows for that and is catering to parents 2. A family restaurant with coloring books and crayons provided. The restaurant has provided something for the parents to keep the children occupied at the table so the children are hopefully playing at their table. No problem. But, if the children leave the table toe start chasing each other around and between other tables, crawling under other peoples table to hide, bumping into people, chairs and tables... well, I think the parents need to deal with that. If they do not, and other people tell the children they should not be running around or crawling under tables, and the child responds with 'you can't tell me what to do'. This is a sure indication that the parents have allowed their children to become brats. 3. Of course, unless the restaurant has a play area, or entertainment for children where screaming is a normal part of play or interaction, children should not be allowed to scream at the top of their lungs, repeatedly, in the dining area. 4. Crying infants... well, babies cry. Everyone should understand that. Parents should see what the child needs and try to settle the baby down. Cholic can be an issue, so maybe pick the infant up, and walk out of the dining area. But sometimes babies cry to manipulate the parents to get what they want. Sometimes parents need to ignore it... But, if it is a marathon loud event, sorry, but a restaurant is not the best place to train. All children will do things, be noisy at times, have upsets, be energetic, etc. It is when the parents do nothing and allow the behavior to continue. It is not just consideration for the other customers but for the restaurant itself. If an owner or employee is forced to talk to the parents, it isn't fun for them but for the sake of their business, they have to handle it. As for me, if I go to a restaurant, my expectations are of course based on the kind of restaurant, but if I am eating in a place for the first or second time and my experience is bad, the next time I need to decide a place to eat, I will go to the places that I remember positively. Even though it is no fault of the restaurant when parents misbehave, my experience was negative so I am less likely to return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinM Posted January 17, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 144 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4,512 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 625 Days Won: 10 Joined: 04/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/07/1979 Share Posted January 17, 2014 My wife and I learned that if we ordered food and didn't get anything for our daughter she'd get fussy and act up. (She was an infant and on baby food). She wasn't acting up because she was bratty, she was feeling left out. So, we began ordering her mashed potatoes or something else she could eat with few teeth and she never acted up again. Sometimes she wouldn't even eat it, she just wanted food in front of her. LOL! She just wanted to be included. I hope this helps new parents the next time they have a fussy child in a restaurant with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qnts2 Posted January 17, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,875 Content Per Day: 0.70 Reputation: 1,336 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/13/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted January 17, 2014 My wife and I learned that if we ordered food and didn't get anything for our daughter she'd get fussy and act up. (She was an infant and on baby food). She wasn't acting up because she was bratty, she was feeling left out. So, we began ordering her mashed potatoes or something else she could eat with few teeth and she never acted up again. Sometimes she wouldn't even eat it, she just wanted food in front of her. LOL! She just wanted to be included. I hope this helps new parents the next time they have a fussy child in a restaurant with them. That is a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMD2093 Posted February 12, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 18 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/25/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted February 12, 2014 "it's HIS establishment. He does have the right to choose whom he will allow in his restaurant. " Really? So if he doesnt want blind or deaf or elderly people, thats ok? Not last I heard. Discrimination is illegal. And not all kids are brats. I have a 2 year old niece who knows how to behave in a restaurant. I wouldnt bring my 6 year old nephew to a restaurant because hes not well behaved, but my niece (his cousin) so far has been raised right. When she is told "You have to be polite and use an indoor voice" she listens. If she is told to do something, she does it. If she is told not to, she doesnt. My nephew on the other hand doesnt listen and I would never trust him in a mcdonalds, nevermind an "upscale" restaurant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMD2093 Posted February 12, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 18 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/25/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted February 12, 2014 Hey, I like your husband's idea. Very good. Our son is autistic and given to bratty behavior from time to time - loud, acting out, generally disruptive - so we just don't take him certain places where it would be awkward for us or others if he goes off. Some people would look at him and say he's spoiled rotten, not knowing the truth. I think that's why I am a little or a lot sensitive about this issue. I guess it does boils down to consideration all the way around, and unfortunately, our society, while priding itself on its tolerance, is often lacking in consideration. But sometimes babies cry to manipulate the parents to get what they want. Sometimes parents need to ignore it... But, if it is a marathon loud event, sorry, but a restaurant is not the best place to train. . babies do not use manipulation. to use manipulation, you need theory of mind. theory of mind does not develop until about 5 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMD2093 Posted February 12, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 18 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/25/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted February 12, 2014 I dont care if its chuck e cheese or the finest restaurant in the world, I like when kids are included. But I hate 2 things: 1: Babies crying & not being comforted/fed/whatever/ 2: Kids running wild or being rude or unnecessarily loud. I dont mind hearing a baby cry. I mind parents ignoring it. Like, your kid is crying, how can you sit there emotionless and ignore the kid?? Other than the fact that there is something wrong and the parents are ignoring whatever it is, its rude to the other people. Especially the ones who are out on a rare quiet day away from the kids. There is just no excuse to let your kid run wild in any public place that is not a chuck e cheese type of place or a park. When I was a kid it was a corner or a smack. Of course niether were ever used because I was too embaressed to get in trouble or having people look at me. But most kids arent like that and NEED some type of stimulation... outdoors or at a kids place. not in a restaurant. It is SO RUDE to let children run wild... and dangerous! They could fall and get hurt or unintentionally hurt someone else, break something, etc.... when I was little i would bring a reading or coloring book or small "Wont bother people" type of toys, or sometimes a handheld game with the sound turned off or a pair of headphones for my CD player. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qnts2 Posted February 12, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,875 Content Per Day: 0.70 Reputation: 1,336 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/13/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted February 12, 2014 Hey, I like your husband's idea. Very good. Our son is autistic and given to bratty behavior from time to time - loud, acting out, generally disruptive - so we just don't take him certain places where it would be awkward for us or others if he goes off. Some people would look at him and say he's spoiled rotten, not knowing the truth. I think that's why I am a little or a lot sensitive about this issue. I guess it does boils down to consideration all the way around, and unfortunately, our society, while priding itself on its tolerance, is often lacking in consideration. But sometimes babies cry to manipulate the parents to get what they want. Sometimes parents need to ignore it... But, if it is a marathon loud event, sorry, but a restaurant is not the best place to train. . babies do not use manipulation. to use manipulation, you need theory of mind. theory of mind does not develop until about 5 years old. I'll just disagree. Babies do react to positive reinforcment. If every time a baby cries, mom runs to feed, soothe etc, the baby quickly learns to cry to bring mom running. Most prevalent is nap time, but babies can learn that tantrums are a good way to get what they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted February 12, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,993 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,691 Content Per Day: 11.76 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted February 12, 2014 Hey, I like your husband's idea. Very good. Our son is autistic and given to bratty behavior from time to time - loud, acting out, generally disruptive - so we just don't take him certain places where it would be awkward for us or others if he goes off. Some people would look at him and say he's spoiled rotten, not knowing the truth. I think that's why I am a little or a lot sensitive about this issue. I guess it does boils down to consideration all the way around, and unfortunately, our society, while priding itself on its tolerance, is often lacking in consideration. I would not consider you son as bratty. When I eat out, like most people, I go to various family restaurants. Restaurants where the pricing is inexpensive. We do not have any children (not by choice) so are not as used to the noise level parents with young children are accustomed to. We are aware of that so expect a restaurant with children to be noisier then we are used to in our homes. We have found that some parents are less inclined to consider others when eating in a restaurant. A couple of examples: 1. a restaurant which has a play area for children so the parents can take their time eating and their children will be occupied. Of course the play area is very noisy and the kids get very excited. We have had children, run from the play area past our table, sometimes bumping us or the table, to their parents, all excited. No problem. Kids get excited and the restaurant allows for that and is catering to parents 2. A family restaurant with coloring books and crayons provided. The restaurant has provided something for the parents to keep the children occupied at the table so the children are hopefully playing at their table. No problem. But, if the children leave the table toe start chasing each other around and between other tables, crawling under other peoples table to hide, bumping into people, chairs and tables... well, I think the parents need to deal with that. If they do not, and other people tell the children they should not be running around or crawling under tables, and the child responds with 'you can't tell me what to do'. This is a sure indication that the parents have allowed their children to become brats. 3. Of course, unless the restaurant has a play area, or entertainment for children where screaming is a normal part of play or interaction, children should not be allowed to scream at the top of their lungs, repeatedly, in the dining area. 4. Crying infants... well, babies cry. Everyone should understand that. Parents should see what the child needs and try to settle the baby down. Cholic can be an issue, so maybe pick the infant up, and walk out of the dining area. But sometimes babies cry to manipulate the parents to get what they want. Sometimes parents need to ignore it... But, if it is a marathon loud event, sorry, but a restaurant is not the best place to train. All children will do things, be noisy at times, have upsets, be energetic, etc. It is when the parents do nothing and allow the behavior to continue. It is not just consideration for the other customers but for the restaurant itself. If an owner or employee is forced to talk to the parents, it isn't fun for them but for the sake of their business, they have to handle it. As for me, if I go to a restaurant, my expectations are of course based on the kind of restaurant, but if I am eating in a place for the first or second time and my experience is bad, the next time I need to decide a place to eat, I will go to the places that I remember positively. Even though it is no fault of the restaurant when parents misbehave, my experience was negative so I am less likely to return. The fact that you have never had children tells me alot.Sometimes those people are not as understanding as those who do have children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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