jeannieboudra Posted August 13, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 13, 2014 I have dated a christian man for about 5 months, have met his family, his kids (we are both 47) he has only been divorced 1 year. We have "acted" exclusive, (we met on a dating site). I asked him the other night if he was still on the site and he said yes, he said he just was not ready to have a committed relationship, yet he is not going out with anyone else and really likes me and to be with me. Am I asking too much to want him to get off the dating site and see where we go, or am I asking too much for such a short time relationship? I have prayed so much about what to do. I have said I am not asking for a commitment from him but by asking him to get off dating sites, I guess that is asking for a commitment???? Should I just stop "thinking" so much and see what happens, but I just feel it is not fair to me if someone comes along and strikes his interest. I wish God could give me a peace about what to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatQuestioner Posted August 14, 2014 Group: Nonbeliever Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/14/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 14, 2014 Many online dating sites are shady. I suggest having him get off the site. I feel like a non-committed relationship is ungodly in a sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinT Posted August 14, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 10 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 14, 2014 How long has he been divorced? If it was recent (within 2yrs) that may be why he's not ready to commit yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pederson07 Posted August 16, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/16/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/15/1949 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Jeanie, I believe that Justin is correct. A divorce for a man after a year is not enough time for a committed relationship. God will give you peace over this matter! Keep trusting Him!! You will be in my prayers, Ron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted August 17, 2014 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 130 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 15 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/17/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 17, 2014 It may be true that he is not ready yet since the divorce may still be raw, but yet again, he needs to set the value on your relationship with him by not being hypocritical about it. What I mean is; if he is still on that dating site, ask him if it is okay for you to be on that dating site still. If he reacts with a body language that indicate disapproval or actually say something regarding his disapproval, then you need to point out that is how you feel about him being on that site still as well. Society has ingrained in men the idea that it is okay to look; the ironic thing about it is, sometimes when the wives look, it is not okay with the men. I say sometimes, because nowadays, both couples don't mind the other looking which kind of reflects on their relationship with each other rather poorly even though they seem to be "okay" with each other for doing it. Men need a little wake up call to what they are doing when in a relationship, because of society's norm. Asking him where your relationship is with him now is okay, because you are telling him that you value your relationship with him, but if he sees you only as a friend and that is why he is still looking, then he should have no problem if you go back to the site and look too. Course, your absence may change his mind when you are investing yourself in another possible and more rewarding relationship. In closing though.... Matthew 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted August 17, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.20 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted August 17, 2014 All I can do with your question is suggest you dig deep into His word on this matter and allow the Holy Spirit to teach and guide you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North. Posted August 17, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/17/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 17, 2014 (edited) After five months of dating I feel like he should be aware if you guys could work as a pair or not. Ask him bluntly what he sees in his future, if he thinks you're in it, then he should be willing to offer you the security you're after via deactivating his profile. It doesn't mean he's sealing the deal or anything, but he doesn't need to be fishing around for other birds while you're waiting on him. If he's really not ready to commit, then he'd best stop dating and work on himself. Edited August 17, 2014 by North. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earnest Posted August 19, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 18 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 23 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/19/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) Ask him to go with you to some pre-marrital counseling, not because you want him to marry you, but because it is time to fish or cut bait. You need to find out if indeed you will be happy with each other, or if you should be looking elsewhere. If he refuses to go, then he is not worth your time and it is time to move on - even if it hurts. You need to find someone who has a similar level of passion for spiritual and emotional growth. If you are passionate about growing in such ways, and he is not, it is time to find someone who is more compatible with you. Edited August 19, 2014 by Earnest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momthebomb Posted August 20, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 35 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/20/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 20, 2014 I think when you have been together that long, you have earned the rights to ask him what next and where this is going. Because before you know it, it'd be a year or two since you started dating and nothing with him. You shouldn't be ashamed of asking what you want - relationships are all about open communications. If he can't commit to you, then aren't you better off ending things now than dragging on the hurt. If he really does love you, and his only fear is commitment (for fear it'll go wrong like his last relationship) then he will get over it. Guaranteed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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