creativemechanic Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 414 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 1,273 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 518 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) I posted this in mens forum but i think it might help to get some general imput. I've actually met a single christian woman who seems interested and I think I am interested in. She's actually an old teenage crush. Buuuuuuuuuuut,theres a catch because my life has to be like that. She's divorced .basically meaning its either a )hook up and risk becoimng closer and committing adultery. b)step back although I don't want to. I still find myself communicating and am seriously tempted to ask her out even tho it could start a path I don't think I'd want to stop if it started. A friend actually suggested being a fried with her and maybe her ex will die leaving it open...... That's the most morbid suggestion I ever had. Any advice on how to cut the ties. Edited April 14, 2015 by creativemechanic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezra Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 134 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 8,142 Content Per Day: 2.34 Reputation: 6,612 Days Won: 20 Joined: 11/02/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 She's divorced .basically meaning its either a )hook up and risk becoimng closer and committing adultery. b)step back although I don't want to. Why do you think these are the only two options? Find out: 1. What was the reason for the divorce? 2. Was she unfaithful in her former marriage? 3. Was her husband unfaithful? 4. Is she now a committed Christian or an unstable person? 5. Will she be honest in telling you what happened? 6. Do you both see eye to eye on spiritual matters? 7. Do you both know exactly how you feel about each other? 8. Have you sat down with a pastor or elder to talk about this confidentially to see what is the best course of action? No need to respond to any of this publicly. But get the answers first, then make a sober, spiritual decision. If it finally means cutting ties, then that too can be done graciously. But it could also lead to a proper Christian relationship depending on the answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayin jade Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.87 Content Count: 43,798 Content Per Day: 6.19 Reputation: 11,244 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 She's divorced .basically meaning its either a )hook up and risk becoimng closer and committing adultery. b)step back although I don't want to. Why do you think these are the only two options? Find out: 1. What was the reason for the divorce? 2. Was she unfaithful in her former marriage? 3. Was her husband unfaithful? 4. Is she now a committed Christian or an unstable person? 5. Will she be honest in telling you what happened? 6. Do you both see eye to eye on spiritual matters? 7. Do you both know exactly how you feel about each other? 8. Have you sat down with a pastor or elder to talk about this confidentially to see what is the best course of action? No need to respond to any of this publicly. But get the answers first, then make a sober, spiritual decision. If it finally means cutting ties, then that too can be done graciously. But it could also lead to a proper Christian relationship depending on the answers. The above was good advice. I would not recommend being a friend to her if you do not feel you can get closer to her yet you have feelings for her. That can only lead to heartache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativemechanic Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 414 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 1,273 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 518 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 my reasoning is that while some Christians use verse in Matthew to justify remarriage in cases of adultery, another church member pointed out that mark 10-11 and 12 does not allow it and says that anyone who remarries commits adultery. I don't agree with it and I think it can be unfair to an innocent spouse but I don't want want to defy God. it's very frustrating because after long time of seeing noone appealing or seeing appealing but unavailable and being tempted to go for unsaved women.here's a Christian woman who I am interested in but is out of bounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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