Now that I am old and grey, O Lord forsake me not (Psalm 71:18)

[markdohle]

How things change over the years
(The gift in staying in one place)

 

Now that I am old and grey, O Lord forsake me not
 (Psalm 71:18)

 

I love the psalms, we chant five times a day and go through the whole Psalter twice a month.  In some Monasteries the entire Psalter is sung every week.  I like the way we do it, for then it does not become a burden and that makes it more prayerful.  Though I have spoken to monks from other communities and they do like saying the whole Psalter every week.

One of sentences that we chant from the Psalms has always jumped out at me.  “Now that I am old and grey, O lord forsake me not. (Psalm 71:18).  When I came to the Monastery for the first time in November of 1968, I was 19 and the first day I joined the Choir (I was there for a month) it was Psalm 71 that was chanted.  At 19 I found the sentence interesting and so far in the future that I did not resonated deeply with me.  I was still naïve about how much time I had left, and besides it would be 50 years or so before I had to worry about it.  I did however think about how much it must have touched the older monks alive at that time.

 

As the decades passed, this phrase slowly became more real for me.  When I was 30, it did hit me that I was really not all that young, but not yet middle age….so plenty of time. 
When 40, I could see changes in me.  I was growing bald, and my body was changing a bit, so it had a little more meaning for me.  When 50 it hit home, for I had some health problems then, and my body was different, if not exactly new and improved.  My weight was going up every few years.  I would be at a certain base weight then one day it would jump four pounds.  So now I am a bit overweight and have a pacemaker.  When 60 came around, I wondered where the time went, for I thought I had plenty of time when 19, but it seems liked yesterday. 

So I will soon be 68, a common occurrence for those lucky enough to live that long, unless you born in a leap year.  I now take the verse very much too heart, and when I see it I am thankful for my years here, for the monks that I have grown to love as well as the many people who grace us with their presence, faith and often deep friendships. 

Until I was 45 I did not like aging so much.  Then I realized that I seemed to get happier as I aged so I eventually got over that.  Now I am grateful for the aging process, for it allows me to let go of things from the past that I tended to cling to.  I am not saying it is always pleasant, yet neither was it when I was younger.  So now I seek the Lord and wait for the time when I am called home, just as most of us do I believe, even if not talked about that often, if ever.

When I look back at the past, when I came here for the first time, most of the monks who were much younger than I am now, are now gone.  They for the most part died peacefully and I was honored to be one of the monks who cared for them.  Life goes by so fast, knowing that helps me to keep things in perspective allowing me to let go of what becomes superfluous as I age. 

The Lord is faithful that is what I have learned.  In the past, like every human being, I had some very painful dark times.  There is no place one can go to and escape that.  Yet in all of it, even when I failed deeply, the Lord brought me back.  The light came flooding back, a grace, a gift, and now as I enter my last decades (hopefully I have a few decades left); I know now that they will pass even faster than the last 45 years here.  God seems to be touching my soul in ways that I never thought possible when younger and as my trust grows, even when he seems to be sleeping in the boat and I am tossed here and there by my inner tumult, yet I am secure. 

O Lord even the darkness is not dark to you;
 the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. (Psalm 139 12)

 

Edited August 10, 2016 by markdohle

[Guest Thallasa]

A lovely post and thankyou for posting . Am too tired , it is after midnight here ,but  will try to come back soon  ,to ask a question or two ,  if that will be O.K.  

Edited August 10, 2016 by Thallasa

[markdohle]

yes of course.

[markdohle]

21 hours ago, Yowm said:

each year is that much closer to eternity. Yayyy! 

Yeah, and they fly  by faster as well ;-)

 

Peace
mark

Edited August 11, 2016 by markdohle

[Willa]

My favorite psalm has always been 84.  It was in 1963 and is today.  But I have to agree, God is so faithful.  

[markdohle]

20 hours ago, Yowm said:

So that's how you are a couple of months older than me. lol

LOL each day I seem to be finding it harder and harder to find anyone younger than me.

 

 

[markdohle]

20 hours ago, Willa said:

My favorite psalm has always been 84.  It was in 1963 and is today.  But I have to agree, God is so faithful.  

Amen to that.

 

[Wayne222]

On 8/10/2016 at 5:07 PM, markdohle said:

How things change over the years
(The gift in staying in one place)

 

 

 

Now that I am old and grey, O Lord forsake me not
 (Psalm 71:18)

 

 

 

I love the psalms, we chant five times a day and go through the whole Psalter twice a month.  In some Monasteries the entire Psalter is sung every week.  I like the way we do it, for then it does not become a burden and that makes it more prayerful.  Though I have spoken to monks from other communities and they do like saying the whole Psalter every week.

One of sentences that we chant from the Psalms has always jumped out at me.  “Now that I am old and grey, O lord forsake me not. (Psalm 71:18).  When I came to the Monastery for the first time in November of 1968, I was 19 and the first day I joined the Choir (I was there for a month) it was Psalm 71 that was chanted.  At 19 I found the sentence interesting and so far in the future that I did not resonated deeply with me.  I was still naïve about how much time I had left, and besides it would be 50 years or so before I had to worry about it.  I did however think about how much it must have touched the older monks alive at that time.

 

 

 

As the decades passed, this phrase slowly became more real for me.  When I was 30, it did hit me that I was really not all that young, but not yet middle age….so plenty of time. 
When 40, I could see changes in me.  I was growing bald, and my body was changing a bit, so it had a little more meaning for me.  When 50 it hit home, for I had some health problems then, and my body was different, if not exactly new and improved.  My weight was going up every few years.  I would be at a certain base weight then one day it would jump four pounds.  So now I am a bit overweight and have a pacemaker.  When 60 came around, I wondered where the time went, for I thought I had plenty of time when 19, but it seems liked yesterday. 

So I will soon be 68, a common occurrence for those lucky enough to live that long, unless you born in a leap year.  I now take the verse very much too heart, and when I see it I am thankful for my years here, for the monks that I have grown to love as well as the many people who grace us with their presence, faith and often deep friendships. 

Until I was 45 I did not like aging so much.  Then I realized that I seemed to get happier as I aged so I eventually got over that.  Now I am grateful for the aging process, for it allows me to let go of things from the past that I tended to cling to.  I am not saying it is always pleasant, yet neither was it when I was younger.  So now I seek the Lord and wait for the time when I am called home, just as most of us do I believe, even if not talked about that often, if ever.

When I look back at the past, when I came here for the first time, most of the monks who were much younger than I am now, are now gone.  They for the most part died peacefully and I was honored to be one of the monks who cared for them.  Life goes by so fast, knowing that helps me to keep things in perspective allowing me to let go of what becomes superfluous as I age. 

The Lord is faithful that is what I have learned.  In the past, like every human being, I had some very painful dark times.  There is no place one can go to and escape that.  Yet in all of it, even when I failed deeply, the Lord brought me back.  The light came flooding back, a grace, a gift, and now as I enter my last decades (hopefully I have a few decades left); I know now that they will pass even faster than the last 45 years here.  God seems to be touching my soul in ways that I never thought possible when younger and as my trust grows, even when he seems to be sleeping in the boat and I am tossed here and there by my inner tumult, yet I am secure. 
 

 

O Lord even the darkness is not dark to you;
 the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. (Psalm 139 12)

 

 

That was a really good post markdohle I like what you said. What kind of monk are you if you don't mind. I been reading books on Catholic sisters and monks. But I know what you mean I thought I had a lot of time but now I am 62 .Learning to trust the Lord is most important. Blessings to you.

[markdohle]

2 hours ago, Wayne222 said:

That was a really good post markdohle I like what you said. What kind of monk are you if you don't mind. I been reading books on Catholic sisters and monks. But I know what you mean I thought I had a lot of time but now I am 62 .Learning to trust the Lord is most important. Blessings to you.

I am a Cistercian Monk, the order was founded in 1098.  I have been here for 45 years.  It is a life of prayer, work and study.  We have a retreat house which is quite busy.  I give some retreats as well as other monks.  Here is our website if you are interested:  http://www.trappist.net/


 

[Wayne222]

45 years awesome.