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Amanda Carroll

Need marriage advice

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So long story short, my husband of a little over a year cannot get over what my life was before I make a Christian(aka the many sexual partners I had). At he beginning I lied about the number because I was terrified of him leaving me, but eventually the truth came out. It hurts. He says he will never leave me but will never be able to forget it. I don't want to live my entire life knowing that. My entire life feeling dirty. I don't know what to do. 

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All have sinned and fall short of God's glory.  You are a new creation in Christ Jesus.  If He does not condemn you, you should not condemn yourself.  Keep reading God's word and you'll soon realize that God sees you through the lens of the shed blood of Jesus.  You are a new creation.  None of us are worthy of God's love but He loves us nonetheless.

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13 hours ago, Amanda Carroll said:

So long story short, my husband of a little over a year cannot get over what my life was before I make a Christian(aka the many sexual partners I had). At he beginning I lied about the number because I was terrified of him leaving me, but eventually the truth came out. It hurts. He says he will never leave me but will never be able to forget it. I don't want to live my entire life knowing that. My entire life feeling dirty. I don't know what to do. 

Well, the first thing to do is for you to see things from his point of view.

Every person on the planet knows how much of a sexual "past" they are willing to deal with from a prospective spouse.  Some people are insistent that the person they marry should be 100% inexperienced and I don't think that's realistic.

Some people are willing to - after talking things out and even after counsel - accept things that happened - and move on -  especially if it was before someone's salvation or before they were in a relationship with them.

I'm sure that the lie you told him - well, he dealt with it and decided he could accept that and he knew his limits.

Now, finding out there were more men in  your life before you were saved and that you lied about it has pulled the rug out from under him -so to speak.  You've pushed him past the boundary that is acceptable to him.

You both need counseling together.  You need it separately.  The two of you need to tackle the sexual history and the lying separately.

Secondly, you need to understand that while God does forgive and he does cast our sins as far as the east is from the west, WE hang on to past sins because the devil is a CONSTANT accuser.  If you have sought God's face in this and repented and he has forgiven you, then your "feeling dirty" of from the devil.  It isn't from God.

Thirdly - God forgives and moves on, but people can't always do that.  Counseling from a competent and reputable and professional source it imperative for the both of you.

Married couples face things like this all of the time.  Marriages do prevail and are restored - everyday.  I'll pray this be the case for the two of you.
 

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14 hours ago, Amanda Carroll said:

So long story short, my husband of a little over a year cannot get over what my life was before I make a Christian(aka the many sexual partners I had). At he beginning I lied about the number because I was terrified of him leaving me, but eventually the truth came out. It hurts. He says he will never leave me but will never be able to forget it. I don't want to live my entire life knowing that. My entire life feeling dirty. I don't know what to do. 

Psalm 103:12 - He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west

That is what Lord does when we seek forgiveness. The difficult part for is to move on, after Lord has forgiven us. I think your husband was open and told you the truth. It is not going to be easy for him to forget. But how he reacts to that is the important thing. He has already said he is not going to leave you. Which is a clear sign he is not holding any grudge against you. Continue being together spiritually and praying together. Lord will open his heart to remove it completely from his heart. You both should move on from here, since you are forgiven by Lord.

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I appreciate all of your inputs. I guess I forgot to add that the truth came out and he knew everything before we married. Because of that I feel like he is holding on a little too strongly. If it was too much I feel he shouldn't have asked me to marry him. But here we are...

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17 hours ago, Amanda Carroll said:

So long story short, my husband of a little over a year cannot get over what my life was before I make a Christian(aka the many sexual partners I had). At he beginning I lied about the number because I was terrified of him leaving me, but eventually the truth came out. It hurts. He says he will never leave me but will never be able to forget it. I don't want to live my entire life knowing that. My entire life feeling dirty. I don't know what to do. 

We make mistakes and then we ask God for forgiveness. God forgives and He forgets. We as Christians give up that sinful lifestyle. You told him the truth. If he did not like it he should have left before he married you. He now feels like he has that over you.Not a healthy marital relationship to be in. Do you think he would go to Christian martial counseling? I think you need to give this whole situation to God. And your husband needs a lot of prayer. I am assuming that he is a Christian as are you?

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1 hour ago, Amanda Carroll said:

Yes. He was raised a Christian...

Well, that does not make someone a born again Christian. Many say that they are a Christian. A true Christian will forgive.

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1 hour ago, missmuffet said:

Well, that does not make someone a born again Christian. Many say that they are a Christian. A true Christian will forgive.

Thank you for your kind words...

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Just now, Amanda Carroll said:

Thank you for your kind words...

You are welcome Amanda :)

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