Barna Study - Divorce Rate HIGHER with Christians vs Aheists

[DesertSW]

24 minutes ago, bryan said:

The result of the series of classes?  Church members separated into three groups based on what they thought was allowed and wasn't.  The scripture from the bible didn't matter.  Verifying meaning and interpretation going back to root languages in the bible didn't matter.  Verifying scripture with other scripture didn't matter.  All that mattered was what members felt was right in their view.

The point?  Christians and churches create their own interpretation of what's right and wrong regarding divorce, abuse, and marriage.  They quote scripture to support their views and only rarely are willing to listen and study to see if their beliefs are true based on the bible.  It's no wonder divorces are higher among Christians when so many are dead sure they are right and others are wrong.

 

 

You hit the nail on the head!

I couldn't have said it any better. Christians create their own interpretation of what's right and wrong regarding divorce. All that matters is what they "felt" was right in their own minds. What the Bible has to say doesn't matter.

My wife did the exact thing you stated. Her parents (who are church elders) originally stated that divorce is wrong except for cases of adultery, case closed. Then they did a complete 180 and said that divorce is OK if that person no longer loves the other spouse and wishes to be single.

I was flabbergasted when I found this out. They, along with my wife, decided to throw the BIble out the window when it came to divorce because now their daughter was faced with a dilemma of either reconciling the marriage or divorcing. The harder thing to do was reconcile so she and they chose the easy path and they rewrote Scripture and OK'd the divorce and chucked it up to that God forgives and oh well, life goes on. No big deal.

What my counselor stated that they should have done as Christian parents it to tell their daughter. No, we will not stand behind your un-Biblical decision to divorce. Your husband loves you, is a Christian man, has never committed adultery, he doesn't abuse you, he is not drunk or gambler, he cares for you and wishes to reconcile the marriage with Godly healing and counseling. Go back to your husband. You made a vow/covenant with God and your husband when you got married. We as parents will not harbor you and will not condone your behavior/decision to divorce. We love you as parents but God's Word comes before all and we will not dishonor God and His Word.

Of course they never said the above and rewrote Scripture to justify the divorce. That is a huge factor on WHY Evangelical Born-Again Christian divorce rates are 33%. It's a disgrace to God, His Word and the marriage covenant He created. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 4, 2017 by DesertSW

[DesertSW]

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians teaches that LOVE DOES NOT FAIL. Loving ones spouse is not a request by God but a command by God. My wife stated to her parents & her friends that she "stopped loving me" and the typical secular response of "oh well, hearts can change" and "if you don't love someone, leave them, go find love and happiness with someone else" was given. The "advice" she received was unscriptural. The proper response is that God commands us to love our spouses.

It was not easy for me as a husband to always love my wife but I did. Even when she was nasty mean to me, treated me disrespectfully, and did things that were sinful, I still loved her like Christ loved the church.

1 Corinthians 13 also tells us that LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. In my case, my wife dredged up some argument (verbal) we had 10 years prior and used that as ammunition to divorce since she had nothing to accuse me of that happened recently within the past decade so she went back 10 years of our 11+ year marriage. Once again, the Biblical commands were negated and LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS was ignored. She kept a record of a wrong and used it as a battering ram for the divorce.

There is a book called "Never Fails" by Brian Sumner. It's a marriage book based on Biblical principles. They as a couple divorced each other and then remarried each other and now are missionaries teaching Biblical marriage. They admit to their mistake in divorcing but reconciled and now are happily married.

 

[DesertSW]

Just now, DesertSW said:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians teaches that LOVE DOES NOT FAIL. Loving ones spouse is not a request by God but a command by God. My wife stated to her parents & her friends that she "stopped loving me" and the typical secular response of "oh well, hearts can change" and "if you don't love someone, leave them, go find love and happiness with someone else" was given. The "advice" she received was unscriptural. The proper response is that God commands us to love our spouses.

It was not easy for me as a husband to always love my wife but I did. Even when she was nasty mean to me, treated me disrespectfully, and did things that were sinful, I still loved her like Christ loved the church.

1 Corinthians 13 also tells us that LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. In my case, my wife dredged up some verbal argument we had 10 years prior and used that as ammunition to divorce since she had nothing to accuse me of that happened recently within the past decade so she went back 10 years of our 11+ year marriage. Once again, the Biblical commands were negated and LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS was ignored. She kept a record of a wrong and used it as a battering ram for the divorce.

There is a book called "Never Fails" by Brian Sumner. It's a marriage book based on Biblical principles. They as a couple divorced each other and then remarried each other and now are missionaries teaching Biblical marriage. They admit to their mistake in divorcing but reconciled and now are happily married.

 

 

[DesertSW]

The 33% divorce rate among Christians is very high. I believe through the studies/stats that it is mostly due to Christians not following God's Word but basing their decisions on "feelings" of when one can divorce. My ex-wife based her decision on "feeling" that God was OK with it, even though the opposite was true since God's Word is absolute and her decision/feeling was in opposition to the Bible. Yet, she still went forward with it. Welcome to modern day Christianity where words don't matter and feelings supersede the Bible.

[Guest]

On 9/3/2017 at 9:09 PM, DesertSW said:

Why are Christians divorcing at such an alarming rate? Why doesn't the Body of Christ have a lower divorce vs unsaved atheists? '

One responder suggested that the definition of "Christian" may actually make that percentage seem higher than it is.  I agree with that.  

Another factor that may play into that is the fact that an increasing amount of churches are turning to worldly methods to increase "numbers," while not actually being concerned about true conversion and discipleship.

Some ministries are sadly more of a business than a body of believers.

Evangelism for some is being replaced by marketing strategies.  i.e. Worship services resembling entertainment venues, real estate acquisitions and buildings to attract those seeking something that appears financially successful, etc

Lack of Biblical discipline in the body of Christ.

Entire denominations catering to sexual perversion by accepting and even promoting same-sex marriage... even among clergy.

Prosperity "gospel" replacing Biblical gospel.

More and more churches are trading the gospel commission for political activism.

I could go on, but the bottom line is that the Body of Christ is allowing our leaders to redefine Christianity to mimic the world.  "Christian" divorce is just one product of the "success" of that  shift in the paradigm of what it means to be Christian to the rest of society. 

I guess that maybe we should revisit what it means to "not conform to the world..."

[bryan]

1 hour ago, GusWilby said:

Another factor that may play into that is the fact that an increasing amount of churches are turning to worldly methods to increase "numbers," while not actually being concerned about true conversion and discipleship.

Some ministries are sadly more of a business than a body of believers.

Evangelism for some is being replaced by marketing strategies.  i.e. Worship services resembling entertainment venues, real estate acquisitions and buildings to attract those seeking something that appears financially successful, etc

I think these are key points.   Many churches have shifted to act more like a business trying to increase membership.  When the body of believers doesn't have good ways to keep growing as a Christian and all the associated ethics, morals, and life styles, that body loses focus and church frequently becomes no more than a weekly social event.

[DesertSW]

Those are valid points. Sadly, even those who profess evangelical conservative Biblical views, they change their minds when it comes to divorce. That happened in my situation. My evangelical conservative in-laws went from "Biblical divorce is not acceptable unless it is adultery or physical abuse" and then had a view of "divorce is OK if you are unhappy and want to move on".

So while you made valid points. It is still a fact that conservative evangelical born-again Christians divorce at alarming rates and that's because when they are faced with divorce or reconciliation, many chose divorce. It is the easier choice. Rather than working through the problems and seeking Godly healing and Biblical restoration. Many chose divorce, since it's easier to sign a piece of paper and leave.

One only needs to read the OT & NT examples of Israel taking the easier road instead of following God's Ways.

 

[DesertSW]

Per Barna:

“Born again Christians” are defined as people who said they have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today and who also indicated they believe that when they die they will go to Heaven because they had confessed their sins and had accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. Respondents are not asked to describe themselves as “born again.” 

“Evangelicals” meet the born again criteria (described above) plus seven other conditions. Those include saying their faith is very important in their life today; believing they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs about Christ with non-Christians; believing that Satan exists; believing that eternal salvation is possible only through grace, not works; believing that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth; asserting that the Bible is accurate in all that it teaches; and describing God as the all-knowing, all-powerful, perfect deity who created the universe and still rules it today. Being classified as an evangelical is not dependent upon church attendance or the denominational affiliation of the church attended. Respondents were not asked to describe themselves as “evangelical.”

“There no longer seems to be much of a stigma attached to divorce; it is now seen as an unavoidable rite of passage,” the researcher indicated. “Interviews with young adults suggest that they want their initial marriage to last, but are not particularly optimistic about that possibility. There is also evidence that many young people are moving toward embracing the idea of serial marriage, in which a person gets married two or three times, seeking a different partner for each phase of their adult life.”

Edited September 7, 2017 by DesertSW

[Sower]

Growing up in the fifties and sixties, I cannot remember anyone I knew  that was divorced, or any friends with divorced parents. Am sure there had to be some, I just don't remember any. It was different then. My wife and I would have divorced at least a dozen times, if we used the criteria of today's disgruntled couples. This may sound crazy, but a long marriage is like two old veterans having gone through a lot of battles together.  We're old war buddies, so to speak. Not necessarily with each other, but a lot of life battles. Our faults mesh. Our familiarity thrives.  (And a dozen grand kids) Forty six years and counting. By the Grace of God.  God is Light! And there is plenty of light on loving one another, and forgiveness. It works!

PS................ (Don't tell her, but I married over my head)...........    (wonder if God had anything to do with this?)

[Guest]

On 9/3/2017 at 6:09 PM, DesertSW said:

arna study shows that the Christian divorce rate is HIGHER than atheists and non-believers. Sitting at around 32%-33%. While Atheists are around 30%

Barna Divorce Study (click here for Barna link)

Being a victim of a divorce just 1 years ago myself. I was shocked and dismayed when my Christian wife left me with no warning and divorced me with no attempt to seek Christian counseling. Without side tracking this post, there was no abuse, no infidelity, nothing that would justify a divorce. Four professional Christian counselors came to this conclusion. She gave no reason except she wanted to start over and was happier living in another state. I posted more on my personal divorce in the "Struggling" forum, if you want to read more about it, please post there.

So getting back to this topic. Why are Christians divorcing at such an alarming rate? Why doesn't the Body of Christ have a lower divorce vs unsaved atheists? '

Why  are you passing on  unsubstantiated false data as reliable ? It is flawed on many counts. There is absolutely ZERO TRUTH. It is militant atheist propaganda. Do your research.

 

http://atheismexposed.tripod.com/atheists_divorce.htm

 

"There are, therefore, no justifiable reasons for atheists to gloat about the Barna research.The Barna stats about low atheist divorce rates are an "illusion" that cunning and skillful atheists propagandists have been parading for years to elevate their philosophy. The reality is that relationships among atheists are a vortex of instability with much accompanying turmoil and mental anguish.  When the various relevant factors are taken into consideration, atheists are not as successful in their relationships as they would like others to believe. This does not excuse the very high rate of divorce among "some" Christian groups. Divorce is strongly condemned by the Christian Master, and going against His will makes evident a superficial and hypocritical form of Christianity that only serves to give ammunition to the enemies of Jesus Christ."