ArmsOpenWide Posted February 3, 2021 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/06/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted February 3, 2021 My mother is very hurtful with her words towards me, and demands the type of respect that she refuses to give. I am an adult, but she basically expects I bow down and respect her every wish, but she will never give me any kind of respect. I get very angry at her for treating me like I'm an incompetent child at all times, and I feel like God has shown me that this anger of mine toward her is sinful.... but I struggle with it still. It's VERY bad anger and I know it's unhealthy, but I feel like there's only so much I can take. My mother and I are both Christians... and when my mother and I argue about something she *thinks* she can force me to do, she loves to throw in my face the scripture about, "children obey your parents" and "honor your mother and father". I tell her that the bible also tells parents not to exasperate their children, to which her response is, "that only applies to fathers. Read the Bible more". I know the bible says to honor your parents, but other verses seem directed at children. What does the bible say about how grown children (adult children) ought to treat their parents? What about when parents have been abusive, what about parents who disrespect their adult children? In other words, what does it mean to honor thy father and mother once you're an adult and no longer a child? If you have a parent who never respects you, how do you fulfill the biblical command to honor them? It feels too hard. I want to have a good relationship with my mother, and I want to stop being angry. But I cannot put up with the constant belittling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnD Posted February 4, 2021 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 0 Topic Count: 909 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 9,657 Content Per Day: 2.02 Reputation: 5,839 Days Won: 9 Joined: 04/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted February 4, 2021 Unless you are hanging on for some inheritance pay off... Genesis 2:24 (AV) 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. You said repeatedly you are an adult. So grow up. If your mother and you can't get along, leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmsOpenWide Posted February 4, 2021 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/06/2020 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 4, 2021 I don't see how "leaving" is the answer. I would like to have a good relationship with my mother, hence why I stay in contact. Only trouble is, no matter what I do, it never works out. I'm looking for scripture to guide me on how to handle this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted February 4, 2021 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 88 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,903 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,667 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Children are taught to obey their parents because the parents job is to raise them to love, trust, and honor God above all else. You are her child but you are not longer a child, as you have said. God is your father and is to be how you make your decisions. You are to follow Him. If she is telling you to do, say, or be something or a certain way, and you feel that this conflicts with God's commands or leading in your life in some way, you are to respectfully tell her that you have to follow what you believe God is telling you to do. Her response to that is on her head. On your head is making sure, through study of God's word and fervent prayer, that you really are being led by Him in a certain direction. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozarkbound Posted February 4, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 277 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 164 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/16/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted February 4, 2021 I have had to cut contact with my mother. I respect that she is my mother, but she is not allowed to be my abuser. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted February 4, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,302 Content Per Day: 1.71 Reputation: 1,686 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted February 4, 2021 12 hours ago, ArmsOpenWide said: I don't see how "leaving" is the answer. I would like to have a good relationship with my mother, hence why I stay in contact. Only trouble is, no matter what I do, it never works out. I'm looking for scripture to guide me on how to handle this situation. Relationships are a two way conversation, if your mother only permits her understanding, her view of how things have to be, then it is abusive. If you are still living in the same house you should leave. If you are living in your own home, limit your contacts with her. Explain that you disagree with her reasoning and that you are not prepared to be abused by her. That if she changes you will have more contact, ditto with any grandchildren etc. Do ring her regularly, arrange to visit say once a month, remember significant dates with cards and flowers etc You can hold out a hand of fillial respect and love, she has also to respond. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOrangeCat Posted February 4, 2021 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 57 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,418 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 1,843 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/24/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted February 4, 2021 This is one of those things where you have to limit your contact or come to some sort of understanding. To be honest using scripture in a situation like this is a bludgeon and is unlikely to do much good. Respect and honor don't mean being a door mat or giving in to every little thing or forcing yourself to stay in their company just for the sake of it. If her behaviors are detrimental to her or sinful then you can pray for her, and that's a form of honor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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