i made this song a few week's or more ago, but added too it please tell me your honest oinion. not looking for praise of any sort but instead juust its alright or its worth giving to a church etc...

[faithfull-prophet4040]

Oh lord Christ, you've turned me towards the light, and you broke the chains yes you did, gave me sight you broke the chains the chains of sin, the same chains that shackled me, you took away the pain and and set me free... I love God I love him so, he's turned my life around, and turned my heart from stone to gold. I once was lost but now i see, God i love you you've made me clean forgiven my past all is new and the old has ceased. oh lord Christ, I love you Jesus please don't go, for you've changed my life to you my life is owed. I hope i'm worthy to walk through that door, for you are savior for you are the lord. God for you gave your only son, darkness thinks they'll win but you've already won!!!  Jesus on that cross you died and resurrected 3 days after, for what you have done has brung, love joy peace and laughter, I love you I couldn't love nobody else more, I love you so much and i'll keep loving you even through the storm.  Accept him into your life, and you will feel Gods love, his work of art... Upon you he will come, and bring joy into your heart. Truly turn from your sin and repent, and he will save, but he will only do it with your consent but do it quick you only have 1 body then it's too the grave....oh lord Christ, savior of the world, you payed for our price, for every man woman boy and girl, oh lord Jesus Christ your father gives and gives, but he also takes away, but one promise that he will give is that were never alone he will always stay, yes he puts us through some (test's), but when done enduring he gives us a peacfull rest oh lord Christ.

Edited July 13, 2021 by faithfull-prophet4040

[Sower]

1 hour ago, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

oh lord Christ you've turned me to the light you broke the chains yes you did, you broke the chains the chains of sin, the same chains that once shackled me, you took away the pain and and set me free... I love God I love him so, he's turned my life around, and turned my heart from stone to gold. I once was lost but now i can see God i love you you've made me clean forgiven my past all is new and the old has ceased. ohhhh lord Christ I love you Jesus please don't ever go for you've changed my life to you my life is owed. I hope i'm worthy to walk through that door for you are savior for you are the lord. God for you gave your only son darkness thinks they'll win but you've already won!!!  Jesus on that cross you died and resurrected 3 days after for what you have done has brung love joy peace and laughter i love you i couldnt love nobody else more i love you so much and ill keep loving you even through the storm.  Accept him into your life, and you will feel Gods love his work of art... Upon you he will come, and bring joy into your heart. Truly turn from your sin and repent, and he will save but he will only do it with your consent but you only have 1 body then it's too the grave, so be quick to be (saved) or might miss your chance seek God seek his (face)....oh lord (Christ), savior of the (world), you payed for our (price), for every man woman boy and (girl), oh lord Jesus Christ your father (give's) and (give's), but he also takes (away) but one promiss that is given is that were never alone he will always stay, yes he puts us through some (test's), but when done enduring he gives us a peacfull rest oh lord Christ.

Honest opinion.

Reread it and fix your spelling, and punctuation. (my spell ck found eight misspelled words)
Check your statements. Right click on a (misspelled) word with red squiggly line under will give you correct spelling.
If you are saved, He has already forgiven all your sins, past present and future,
and will never leave you or forsake you.
I feel your passion in your words, you have bared your heart.
You have expressed great love for what God has done for you.  


 

[R. Hartono]

Amen

[Kenny'sID]

On 7/10/2021 at 10:57 PM, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

oh lord Christ you've turned me to the light you broke the chains yes you did, you broke the chains the chains of sin, the same chains that once shackled me, you took away the pain and and set me free... I love God I love him so, he's turned my life around, and turned my heart from stone to gold. I once was lost but now i can see God i love you you've made me clean forgiven my past all is new and the old has ceased. ohhhh lord Christ I love you Jesus please don't ever go for you've changed my life to you my life is owed. I hope i'm worthy to walk through that door for you are savior for you are the lord. God for you gave your only son darkness thinks they'll win but you've already won!!!  Jesus on that cross you died and resurrected 3 days after for what you have done has brung love joy peace and laughter i love you i couldnt love nobody else more i love you so much and ill keep loving you even through the storm.  Accept him into your life, and you will feel Gods love his work of art... Upon you he will come, and bring joy into your heart. Truly turn from your sin and repent, and he will save but he will only do it with your consent but you only have 1 body then it's too the grave, so be quick to be (saved) or might miss your chance seek God seek his (face)....oh lord (Christ), savior of the (world), you payed for our (price), for every man woman boy and (girl), oh lord Jesus Christ your father (give's) and (give's), but he also takes (away) but one promiss that is given is that were never alone he will always stay, yes he puts us through some (test's), but when done enduring he gives us a peacfull rest oh lord Christ.

The thoughts are great, but you would need to pull them together with a continuing them that rhymes.

Example:

"oh lord Christ you've turned me to the light you broke the chains yes you did, you broke the chains the chains of sin, the same chains that once shackled me, you took away the pain and and set me free.."

Lord you have turned me to the light and broke the chains of sin.

The same chains that shackled me, and caused the pain within.

notice the lines are about the same length