christmas is evil

[Vine Abider]

48 minutes ago, JohnD said:

Okay. Before I had a clue about the Roman Catholic / pagan origin of December 25th, my Beloved Bride to be and I set Christmas 1980 as our wedding day in New York City (where she lived at the time). I was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia aboard my Navy ship. My mother and younger brothers made the trip to New York from Florida (where we grew up) Mum stayed with my Fiance and my brothers and I went to a hotel that Christmas Eve.

The coldest day on record hit that Christmas morning. I got myself and my brothers dressed and out the door and in a cab with about an hour to spare (not wanting to be caught in traffic). But... there was no traffic. No one on the sidewalks. The city was dead. Christmas and cold in New York equals everyone staying indoors at home. We arrived at the church a few blocks from the Empire State Building way too soon. I had strict instructions not to go inside the Church lest I see my Beloved Bride to be before the actual ceremony. I was very cold so I took brothers to the Empire State Building to shelter there in the warmth. But... the Empire State Building was closed Christmas day. So we hiked back to the Church. By then my youngest brother was crying because it was so cold and being from sub tropical Florida made it all the worse. I had been in the Navy almost 2 years by then and was much more adjusted to cold on that Navy ship at sea than they were. I wore a full dress uniform with duty belt and leggings and white gloves. The works, but I surrendered my gloves to my youngest brother to help warm him and we slipped into the lobby of the Church... If I saw my Beloved Bride to be too soon, it was worth my brothers not getting frostbite. 

Fortunately we didn't see her. We made our way into a side (small) chapel in the huge building where the ceremony was about to take place. It was just family and my Beloved Bride's roommate and her nephew Rick (they were like the 3 Musketeers touring the city even though Rick and Elaine were from New York). ← My Beloved Bride is quite the tourist / encourager to see see the sights, take in the shows, and experience the cuisine. Trust me.

Anyway, my Fiance was so nervous about everything right up to the ceremony itself. I was cool calm and collected... right up to the moment the organist slammed the beginning bars to the wedding march. The organ speakers were in the front of the chapel and I had my back to them facing where my Beloved Bride to be was taking the traditional mincing steps down the aisle towards me. The music felt like it almost hit me from behind like a tackle. I literally had to catch myself from tipping over on my face. I looked at my Beloved Bride to be all dressed in a gorgeous wedding gown and it hit me... I am responsible for this human being from now on. Until that point, I was pretty happy go lucky devil may care about life... I had a promising career in the military where I had three squares and a rack to sleep in should I blow my paycheck in a day. Not any more... As I said, I was not nervous until then.

As my Beloved Bride took the final steps, I actually stepped toward her and took her hand and pulled her the rest of the way to the altar. This wasn't bad enough. More to come. The minister was a last minute replacement from Brooklyn since our arranged minister had to back out suddenly. We gave him our vows but he read the traditional ones instead. I guess we were just happy he showed up. Hard to find ministers to marry you on Christmas Day (even in New York). My Beloved Bride is quite adept at getting people to do things. Her father (who passed before I had a chance to meet him which I regret because he was such a good man) said she would have made a brilliant defense lawyer. She actually went the Television route instead (TV talk show host for 3 years and new reporter). Also before we met. Reverend Bass married us and we turned to walk back up the aisle as husband and Beloved Bride, and she said to me as we walked "psst! Which hand does the ring go on?" I said "left hand." She quickly pulled the ring off her right ring finger where I had placed it during the ceremony and put it on the left one. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. It was years before I could even talk about doing something so dumb.

We had a brief reception at the apartment (Lincoln Towers) and hopped a bus to the Poconos where we were dropped off at a cafe that was closed. Huddled in a phone booth we called the resort to come pick us up. It was very cold. Ordinarily the resort had a van to meet the bus and the cafe / bus stop was usually open... but not on Christmas day. My Beloved Bride said her feet were going numb and did a tap tap dance in the phone booth to try to keep the circulation going. I felt utterly helpless to take care of my new Beloved Bride. 

Later, at the Resort restaurant, after warming up, I tried to impress my new Beloved Bride with my worldly / continental ways (I was 19 at the time) by ordering what I thought was wine or Champaign "Chateaubriand 1979..." The waiter said nothing,and my Beloved Bride said side-whisper "that's a beef dish, dear..."

No Christmas since has been quite as eventful as that one for us.

And now you can both look back at that with great amusement and fond memories! (and I still wouldn't have a clew about "Chateaubriand 1979"!)

Like my wife is fond of saying, "The secret of a good marriage is low expectations." I'm still wondering just exactly what she means by that . . .

Edited December 26, 2022 by Vine Abider

[Henry_iain]

This was amusing.  Thank you ghosty. I enjoyed it. But now it's over. My focus now shifts to the new year. 

[ladypeartree]

12 hours ago, other one said:

I hear there was 4 and they would not admit the fourth because the present he brought was a fruit cake.

One day I will gift you a real fruit cake but never last  

11 hours ago, JohnD said:

found this one online (from 2015) pretty cool...

link to videos on Worthy Christian Forums

I am SO glad I dont live anywhere near that 

9 hours ago, Roymond said:

This Christmas is evil for me because every time I tried to order my new pup's Christmas gift (a waterproof, insulated coat so we can go for walks in cruddy weather) I would click to put it in my online cart but by the time I got to the payment page a warning told me it was out of stock.  Five times they emailed me saying, "Your item is in stock!" but I could never actually finish my order before it was out again.

So instead I took him to the grocery store down the street and let him say "HI!" to everyone for about an hour and raise smiles to everyone.

LOL I have been trying for almost a month to get my 3 foster pups a lead and harness that they dont just slip out of ... no one has them that small Fortunately they are due to be adopted this coming week and it is someone elses problem 

8 hours ago, walla299 said:

I'll bet that was the same fruit cake that my grandmother could never get rid of . . . darn things are eternal. 

NOT if they are made correctly   I made 9 of them this year and STILL ended up with someone thinking I could just produce another one the week before Christmas 

8 hours ago, Vine Abider said:

Am I the only one around here that actually likes fruitcake?

(and I hope that won't get me booted off this forum . . . there's forgiveness in Christ, but I realize this may be too much)

I dont eat them just make them as I am allergic to half the ingredients 

[ladypeartree]

WELL DONE Ghosty 12 pages  of mischief achieved in one thread .... Easter eggs are evil is next 

[ladypeartree]

No .. For many many years people have been posting that we shouldnt decorate trees / celebrate Christmas/ allow children to hear about santa  etc etc  and I mentioned in another thread that this is the first year we havent had half a dozen  " Christmas is evil " threads   soooooooooo 

 

THANK YOU GHOSTY 

[Starise]

I once had  real fruitcake and enjoyed it. NOTHING like the storebought ones. Those are good to keep in the car in case you have a flat and need something to help hold the car up.

Not all fruitcake is created equal. 

[Starise]

3 hours ago, Rosie1jack2pauline3 said:

Was he being serious?...😂🤣

Ghosty serious? 

[Marathoner]

1 hour ago, Starise said:

I once had  real fruitcake and enjoyed it. NOTHING like the storebought ones. Those are good to keep in the car in case you have a flat and need something to help hold the car up.

Not all fruitcake is created equal. 

It also doubles as a conversation piece.

"Is that a fruitcake on the coffee table?"

"Why yes, it is! You have a discerning eye, my friend. It's been passed down from one generation to the next for hundreds of years."

[Starise]

3 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

It also doubles as a conversation piece.

"Is that a fruitcake on the coffee table?"

"Why yes, it is! You have a discerning eye, my friend. It's been passed down from one generation to the next for hundreds of years."

Old Johnny Carson line-

“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”

 

[Vine Abider]

11 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

It also doubles as a conversation piece.

"Is that a fruitcake on the coffee table?"

"Why yes, it is! You have a discerning eye, my friend. It's been passed down from one generation to the next for hundreds of years."

Why does fruitcake get sucha bad rap!?!?  This is undue judgment . . . poor little fruitcake . . .