Thewhitedove Posted November 12, 2023 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 12, 2023 Thank you so much for replying to me. I'm from the UK too but live in Europe. My boss and the boss's boss know. I hadn't told anyone about what had been happening in the classroom as I'd wanted to help her. I felt happy to do what I thought was serving God and 'covering a multitude of sins'. I've since realised that I hadn't understood that piece of scripture properly! I thought God wanted me to keep her terrible performance a secret and protect her while I helped her behind the scenes. Once the trip happened, that was it. All my loyalty evaporated at once and I reported her right away. My conscience is totally clear. That day was a turning point. I'm going to speak to my boss tomorrow about needing to take things easy to start. We have a few crazy deadlines this week and I need to protect my health as best I can. Thanks again. I feel like I can't talk to my colleagues about this as it would be gossiping. My husband isn't a believer and believes in a very tough approach. Your listening ear, and that of everyone on this site, has been invaluable. I honestly do want the best for this lady, and for God's will to be done in her life. However the fact that it drains other colleagues so much shows me that she is not walking in God's plan for her life. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitedove Posted November 18, 2023 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 18, 2023 Thank you so much to everyone. I'm feeling much better. I've mostly recovered physically and mentally I'm back on track. I've started to have revelation. I'm seeing this person as a manipulator who goes from one episode of masking her true nature to another. She isn't fit for the job and knows it, and her life is just one series of stress inducing attempts to conceal her ineptitude. She knows I'm onto her. I've started the process of bringing her situation to my superiors. In work, I have stepped away from helping her and letting her get on with her own side of the job. I'm letting the chips fall where they may. I'm trying to protect myself from the emotional vampirism and trying to handle the very human responses of resentment I feel towards her. So my new prayer point is this: is she my enemy? Because, while she is friendly on the surface and I'm sure has no ill intent towards me, that is how I am seeing her. She sees me as another person to hide behind I order to last another year in work. I don't trust her not to push me under the bus in order to save herself. Once I get the the green light from God that I am to see her in this light, then can I apply all of the Biblical concepts for how we should view and treat our enemies. I hope this makes sense. Once I get confirmation that she is my enemy, then can I pray for her along with asking for God to deliver me from her and trust that God will protect me from her. She had duped me into thinking she was a sister in Christ, and so my prayers were different. I no longer think this is the case. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farouk Posted November 18, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 26 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 6,508 Content Per Day: 12.19 Reputation: 3,324 Days Won: 31 Joined: 11/18/2022 Status: Offline Share Posted November 18, 2023 13 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said: Thank you so much to everyone. I'm feeling much better. I've mostly recovered physically and mentally I'm back on track. I've started to have revelation. I'm seeing this person as a manipulator who goes from one episode of masking her true nature to another. She isn't fit for the job and knows it, and her life is just one series of stress inducing attempts to conceal her ineptitude. She knows I'm onto her. I've started the process of bringing her situation to my superiors. In work, I have stepped away from helping her and letting her get on with her own side of the job. I'm letting the chips fall where they may. I'm trying to protect myself from the emotional vampirism and trying to handle the very human responses of resentment I feel towards her. So my new prayer point is this: is she my enemy? Because, while she is friendly on the surface and I'm sure has no ill intent towards me, that is how I am seeing her. She sees me as another person to hide behind I order to last another year in work. I don't trust her not to push me under the bus in order to save herself. Once I get the the green light from God that I am to see her in this light, then can I apply all of the Biblical concepts for how we should view and treat our enemies. I hope this makes sense. Once I get confirmation that she is my enemy, then can I pray for her along with asking for God to deliver me from her and trust that God will protect me from her. She had duped me into thinking she was a sister in Christ, and so my prayers were different. I no longer think this is the case. Hi @Thewhitedove Good to keep prayerfully feeding on the Scriptures........ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farouk Posted November 18, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 26 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 6,508 Content Per Day: 12.19 Reputation: 3,324 Days Won: 31 Joined: 11/18/2022 Status: Offline Share Posted November 18, 2023 @Thewhitedove YW.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RdJ Posted November 18, 2023 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,134 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 646 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/25/1970 Share Posted November 18, 2023 5 hours ago, Thewhitedove said: Thank you so much to everyone. I'm feeling much better. I've mostly recovered physically and mentally I'm back on track. I've started to have revelation. I'm seeing this person as a manipulator who goes from one episode of masking her true nature to another. She isn't fit for the job and knows it, and her life is just one series of stress inducing attempts to conceal her ineptitude. She knows I'm onto her. I've started the process of bringing her situation to my superiors. In work, I have stepped away from helping her and letting her get on with her own side of the job. I'm letting the chips fall where they may. I'm trying to protect myself from the emotional vampirism and trying to handle the very human responses of resentment I feel towards her. So my new prayer point is this: is she my enemy? Because, while she is friendly on the surface and I'm sure has no ill intent towards me, that is how I am seeing her. She sees me as another person to hide behind I order to last another year in work. I don't trust her not to push me under the bus in order to save herself. Once I get the the green light from God that I am to see her in this light, then can I apply all of the Biblical concepts for how we should view and treat our enemies. I hope this makes sense. Once I get confirmation that she is my enemy, then can I pray for her along with asking for God to deliver me from her and trust that God will protect me from her. She had duped me into thinking she was a sister in Christ, and so my prayers were different. I no longer think this is the case. An enemy is a bit much and you have to pray for your enemies. My ex always said: if they're nasty to you they submit a prayer request, because pray for those who persecute you. She has autism? She may try to mask things to be seen as normal. It is selfish of course and it went at the expense of the other woman who left, but the boss should have done something about this ages ago and either fire her or give her simple work she is able to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farouk Posted November 18, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 26 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 6,508 Content Per Day: 12.19 Reputation: 3,324 Days Won: 31 Joined: 11/18/2022 Status: Offline Share Posted November 18, 2023 3 hours ago, Renskedejonge said: An enemy is a bit much and you have to pray for your enemies. My ex always said: if they're nasty to you they submit a prayer request, because pray for those who persecute you. She has autism? She may try to mask things to be seen as normal. It is selfish of course and it went at the expense of the other woman who left, but the boss should have done something about this ages ago and either fire her or give her simple work she is able to do. @Renskedejonge Well....your ex's comment about prayer does not negate the value of prayer as a whole; we should indeed prayer for one another, including those who are disagreeable with us, and indeed keep 'looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith' (Hebrews 12.2). (You would agree, of course.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitedove Posted November 25, 2023 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 25, 2023 An update. I had meeting with our boss, who said that as my co teacher has self identified as having a neurodivergence, she has extra protection in the workplace. Unless there is a serious safety issue, then nothing can be done this academic year. I had to leave work early the other day as my kid was sick, and another coworker stood in for me. The next day, the colleague said that the behaviour of the children was so wild in my absence that it was actually dangerous. She has since reported her too. We have agreed to continue to report her for every safety breach or risk to the children. My patience has worn thin by the end of every week. It takes me so much energy to suppress annoyance when she keeps making the most basic mistakes. I'm talking about things a teenager on work experience wouldn't do. I'm experiencing a lot of resentment and feeling very, very unChristian, very uncharitable and just very mean. I've other people in my life who stress me out and I've chosen to lovingly go low-contact with them for the sake of the relationship. This colleague makes me angry and frustrated every day and I have to gloss over it or find the energy to calmly state the absolute obvious, which almost feels embarrassing. Help me see this through Christ's eyes because I've suddenly become very carnal since we started working together!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FJK Posted November 25, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 43 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,349 Content Per Day: 7.77 Reputation: 1,305 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/01/2023 Status: Offline Share Posted November 25, 2023 4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said: Help me see this through Christ's eyes because I've suddenly become very carnal since we started working together!!! No one sees through Christ's eyes except Christ. You might become less "carnal" by determining what you can control and what you can't. Concentrate on what you can control and ignore what you can't, don't sacrifice the former by expending all your energy on the later. Are you familiar with Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis? If not maybe you could do a quick study of it and see if it gives you any insight into your emotional state (It is your own emotional state -situation- you are describing even if you are seeing it as something outside yourself). May God belss you with insights and solutions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RdJ Posted November 25, 2023 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,134 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 646 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/25/1970 Share Posted November 25, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, FJK said: You might become less "carnal" by determining what you can control and what you can't. Concentrate on what you can control and ignore what you can't, don't sacrifice the former by expending all your energy on the later. That's a good one! We had a Covid course ages ago at work and that was one thing he said. Don't bother if you can't do anything about it. Edited November 25, 2023 by Renskedejonge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FJK Posted November 25, 2023 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 43 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,349 Content Per Day: 7.77 Reputation: 1,305 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/01/2023 Status: Offline Share Posted November 25, 2023 1 minute ago, Renskedejonge said: Easy to do with my job, making maps, but with kids, when it's dangerous for them, just let go and leave the mess the mess and shrug your shoulders? No, that isn't understanding what you can and cannot do, cannot change, and then concentrating your efforts on those things you can. Sometimes it helps to make a detailed list and itemize each thing you are doing individually, you'll find that some of them are working and some are not and can go from there as you concentrate on those that are and add to them as you learn from them while letting those that are not drop by the wayside (why repeat failure?). It's a good idea to have a well defined goal in mind, and make sure that that goal is what you are really wanting and not just something you are hoping will bring you what you are really wanting. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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