Apathetic / Offhanded / Indifferent love-interest, significant other, fiancée/fiancé, wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend

[Starise]

1 hour ago, Jayne said:

I see Michal in an entirely different light.

[1.]  The Bible says twice that she was in love with David, but never says he loved her, although she was his first wife.  [1 Samuel 18:20 and 28]

[2.]  She knew her father's unstableness and when he, King Saul, sent men to her and David's home to kill him, she warned David and told him she would help him escape.  She helped lower him out the window and she told the men that he was sick in bed. [1 Samuel 19] When her father, King Saul, found out she did this and lied to him about David's whereabouts, he punished her by giving her to another man.  [1 Samuel 25:44]  The Bible never says that David ever tried to rescue her or look for her.

What's worse?  [1]  Being married to someone you love, but does not love you?  [2]  Being 

married to someone who loves you, but whom you do not love?  [3] Or being raised by an 

unfeeling, unconcern, and unstable father who does with your life as he sees benefits him?

Michal endured it all.

[3]  After a long time, David decides he wants Michal back.  Sort of.  He is still fighting the house of Saul even after Saul's death.  Abner, from the house of Saul wants to defect to David's side.  David agrees, but tests him.  He said, "Do not come to me without my wife, Michal, whom I paid for with 100 Philistine foreskins.  [2 Samuel 3:13]

 

[4]  She WAS David's first and only wife.  She loved him so says the Bible twice.  She risked her own life to save David.  He never seemed to care for her at all.  Marrying her was a political move for him.  And the Law said if a man's wife married someone else, He was never to take her back.  Perhaps David didn't see as divorced from him - I don't know.

 

[5]  When she finally saw David again, he had already two other women and had several children. [2 Samuel 2]

 

[6] So in 2 Samuel 6, when the Bible says that she loathed David, I don't see her as you do - "a cold ice queen".  I see her as a tragic figure.  Unloved and treated like trash by her father and first husband.  And forced to live with a second husband whom she did not love.

[7] She reacted wrongly, yes.  But you and I see her as two entirely different women.

I was working though this recently. I just don't get the culture back then that tended to treat women as lesser. Reading you describe David reminded me of those prevailing thoughts. Husbands are told to love their wives as themselves.

[bartmac123]

2 hours ago, Who me said:

One cannot cover every situation on a forum, one can only give guidelines, which is why I mentioned involvement  in church and having reasons for political. And theological views.

A superficial  Christian is just that, they have no depth and that is revealed  in there lack of commitment.  

There is a young lady at my church. She has a Phd in Engineering, and teaches at a University. 

Gorgeous & Really brilliant. Brains & Beauty.

She knows scripture and Christian doctrine really well.  However, she is really contentious and short-tempered.  It's really difficult to tell who is a sincere Christian, who is a fake Christian.  So confusing.  

[bartmac123]

2 hours ago, Who me said:

One cannot cover every situation on a forum, one can only give guidelines, which is why I mentioned involvement  in church and having reasons for political. And theological views.

A superficial  Christian is just that, they have no depth and that is revealed  in there lack of commitment.  

There is a young lady at my church. She has a Phd in Engineering, and teaches at a University. 

Gorgeous & Really brilliant. Brains & Beauty.

She knows scripture and Christian doctrine really well.  However, she is really contentious and short-tempered.  It's really difficult to tell who is a sincere Christian, who is a fake Christian.  So confusing.  

[Starise]

14 hours ago, bartmac123 said:

There is a young lady at my church. She has a Phd in Engineering, and teaches at a University. 

Gorgeous & Really brilliant. Brains & Beauty.

She knows scripture and Christian doctrine really well.  However, she is really contentious and short-tempered.  It's really difficult to tell who is a sincere Christian, who is a fake Christian.  So confusing.  

Looks like a pass already to me. One of the biggest mistakes people make is in thinking the issues will eventually work themselves out over time. Seldom the case. Sometimes they get worse. When kids come the career is out the door at least temporarily, and a person who is extremely dedicated to her career will be letting a nanny raise her kids. An additional expense and a less than ideal situation for the kids unless you find a really good nanny. Even then, it isn't their mother and mom isn't developing a relationship with the kids. The flipside to that is dating a woman with almost zero career aspirations. I've been there many moons ago. I like to see some kind of fire in a woman to do something even if it's community or church work. I married a teacher. Big heart. Loves kids. Family minded. Not saying all teachers are like this either.

Sincere Christians just show it in their lives. Hanging around someone long enough will tell you what they value and their temperament. I would pray hard.

I could tell you my story, but I've told it enough here already. Suffice it to say the package and labeling can be very decieving, especially if one WANTS to see something that isn't there. I've been married before.

 

 

[bartmac123]

1 hour ago, Starise said:

Looks like a pass already to me. One of the biggest mistakes people make is in thinking the issues will eventually work themselves out over time. Seldom the case. Sometimes they get worse. When kids come the career is out the door at least temporarily, and a person who is extremely dedicated to her career will be letting a nanny raise her kids. An additional expense and a less than ideal situation for the kids unless you find a really good nanny. Even then, it isn't their mother and mom isn't developing a relationship with the kids. The flipside to that is dating a woman with almost zero career aspirations. I've been there many moons ago. I like to see some kind of fire in a woman to do something even if it's community or church work. I married a teacher. Big heart. Loves kids. Family minded. Not saying all teachers are like this either.

Sincere Christians just show it in their lives. Hanging around someone long enough will tell you what they value and their temperament. I would pray hard.

I could tell you my story, but I've told it enough here already. Suffice it to say the package and labeling can be very decieving, especially if one WANTS to see something that isn't there. I've been married before.

 

 

@Starise +1 on "the package and labeling can be very deceiving".  Please do pray for me.  

[Starise]

12 minutes ago, bartmac123 said:

@Starise +1 on "the package and labeling can be very deceiving".  Please do pray for me.  

I will bro. Good luck. You seem to me to have a ggod grasp on discernment already which is a big plus. People are generally one way in business life and another way when they are to themselves and "loosten up".  Same with church. When the makeup comes off what have we got?

[Neighbor]

16 hours ago, bartmac123 said:

There is a young lady at my church. She has a Phd in Engineering, and teaches at a University. 

Gorgeous & Really brilliant. Brains & Beauty.

She knows scripture and Christian doctrine really well.  However, she is really contentious and short-tempered.  It's really difficult to tell who is a sincere Christian, who is a fake Christian.  So confusing.  

Perhaps she is tired of being hit on at church? She may really be a devoted Christian that does not want her worship times used by others as  personal dating/mating opportunities. 

[Neighbor]

23 hours ago, bartmac123 said:

You are correct.  However, there is more to it.

One has to avoid a lot of people who just

-fake their Christian walk at church ( i.e., have a lot of head knowledge about scripture, and then go about blurting out memorized scripture in church , raise their hands during worship for everyone to see—sanctimonious ostentatious showmanship )

-contentious/quarrelsome people, and there are a lot of contentious/quarrelsome congregation members ((Proverbs 25:24) It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. )  Essentially, temperament is important.

-Also, sincere Christians can have different outlook towards life.  One could have a calling for Christian ministry, and other does Not.  Therefore, it Might Not be a good mach.

-Wealth gaps can also cause problems even if both are sincere Christians.

On the contrary, it is most inducive to personal  enrichment in corporate worship gatherings when the Holy Spirt is recognized felt and related to by those  in worship there. Those that find  fault with the expression of personal involvement in worship might be the ones that has relationship problems with  the Lord Yeshua.

[AnOrangeCat]

20 hours ago, Jayne said:

I see Michal in an entirely different light.

This is an interesting take, and I can kind of see it. It's impossible for us to know what was in their hearts as the Bible gives us only a little about what was going on in their heads but we do see that early on she went against her father to help David and then much later he reacted very strongly to her rebuke over his public dancing. On its own it seems like an over reaction on David's part so I feel like something clearly went sour between them at some point. We just don't have all the details.

Whatever the case I do see it as one of several reminders that even someone described as being after God's own heart wasn't perfect.

[farouk]

25 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

On the contrary, it is most inducive to personal  enrichment in corporate worship gatherings when the Holy Spirt is recognized felt and related to by those  in worship there. Those that find  fault with the expression of personal involvement in worship might be the ones that has relationship problems with  the Lord Yeshua.

There was the story of the man who was shipwrecked on a desert island. When he was rescued a long while later, rescuers saw he had built two church buildings.

They asked: So, why two church buildings?

The man pointed to one of them and said: This is the church I go to'.

He then pointed to the other one and said: 'This is the church I don't go to'.

(It's not just on desert islands that this kind of thing happens... In John 4, the Lord Jesus speaks of worship 'in Spirit and in truth'; but so often ppl add a list of other things to try to impose on others.)