gracemcnally Posted May 8, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/08/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted May 8, 2006 what should a wife do when she catches her husband looking at porn twice! im at a loss, first time he promised he would never do it again and i forgave him. and now i caught him again....both times he tried denying it and i just knew the truth, it ripped me apart and now i dont know if i can ever look at him the same again. iv forgiven him, but i dont know if i can trust him again. i feel so betrayed...and worthless in his eyes.(im 8 and a half months pregnant so its not like i feel pretty anyways) he loves the Lord very much but he cant seem to shake his addiction. when i try to talk to him about it he clams up and cant seem to say a word. iv prayed and prayed about this and i still dont know what to do. am i even ment to do anything? should i leave it between him and God? ~grace~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigailwc Posted May 8, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 499 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/29/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/08/1964 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Dear Grace If your husband is a christian and goes to church, you might suggest to him to seek help with his addiction by meeting with a counselor at church or with a close christian friend. Also, let him know without anger or showing contempt, how his addiction makes you feel. Who knows if once he will become a father, he will change. Grace, you did the right thing by coming here and letting us know so at least we can pray about it. Keep on praying for him and keep your eyes on Jesus. With God all things are possible! Blessings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracemcnally Posted May 8, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/08/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 8, 2006 (edited) yah, i understand that showing anger is the wrong way to take care of this, actually anger dont help much of anything in a marrige. we dont go to church right now though, we just moved into the area here and well we are both still searching for a church we can fellowship in. we dont know many people here either....that makes it hard to find sombody for us both to talk to. what a bummer hu ~grace~ and thanx for the prayer! Edited May 8, 2006 by gracemcnally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David from New Bern Posted May 8, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 527 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/03/1964 Share Posted May 8, 2006 what should a wife do when she catches her husband looking at porn twice! im at a loss, first time he promised he would never do it again and i forgave him. and now i caught him again....both times he tried denying it and i just knew the truth, it ripped me apart and now i dont know if i can ever look at him the same again. iv forgiven him, but i dont know if i can trust him again. i feel so betrayed...and worthless in his eyes.(im 8 and a half months pregnant so its not like i feel pretty anyways) he loves the Lord very much but he cant seem to shake his addiction. when i try to talk to him about it he clams up and cant seem to say a word. iv prayed and prayed about this and i still dont know what to do. am i even ment to do anything? should i leave it between him and God? ~grace~ Try this website and perhaps a person can help you since you are temporarily disconnected from a church. Perhaps your past church connection could be a source of help. Any long distance charges or travel is not to great a cost to fool proof the marriage from alienation. Here is the website: www.estherministries.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid Posted May 9, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,390 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted May 9, 2006 Dear gracemcnally, Please read at this site and your hubby may read here, too. They are a couple who do ministry for the pornography addicted and they know how to help one to stop in Jesus help. pornea means fornication. It must not be ignored or it can ruin a marriage. It is something one hides and that is not the Christian way to deal with it. It is already undermining your relationship and destroying your trust. It has a way of making one angry and totally untrusting if left unfixed. Also, there are some women here in a women only thread you could get prayers with also. I am not sure where it is at though. I highly recommend you go to this site. Please read here and make sure he gets help. Your marriage will bless you if you do. http://www.porn-free.org/ In My Prayers. elkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menegroth Posted May 10, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 31 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 65 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/11/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted May 10, 2006 I do not know if this well help you or not but I feel i have an obligation to post it. there is a website that gives biblical encouragement to beating all kinds of addictions it's a free website with 1 on 1 counselors who will pray with you by yourself or as a couple etc www.Settingcaptivesfree.com give it a shot. I will pray for both of you that this stronghold Satan has in his life will be broken down and that you will be able to be an encouragment and trusting friend throughout the whole process. Josh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracemcnally Posted May 10, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/08/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 10, 2006 i will check out the web sites, hopfully i can get my husband to go to them to, he does not believe that he has an addiction and well..please pray some more that he is open to my suggesting him getting help. thanx so much for the prayers! ~grace~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamusat Posted May 10, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 102 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/18/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/26/1961 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Dear Sister, You are in my prayers. My husband was an avid pornography connissour for over 20 years. I know exactly how you feel. But please, do not take it personally, it is NOT because you aren't beautiful or desirable. It has NOTHING to do with you. It is all him. Honey, I know how much it hurts, I know how you feel. You say your husband is a Christian, that is encouraging. I pray that he repents and asks God for help in curbing his addiction. Feel free to PM me privately if you need to talk or vent or have a shoulder to cry on with someone who truly understands. May God bless you richly, Blessings, kamusat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracemcnally Posted May 11, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/08/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 11, 2006 thanx so much kamusat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donny Pauling Posted October 29, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/29/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/23/1973 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Grace, If you still come to this board and read this let me know. Read my blog: http://www.DonnysRamblings.com I produced porn for 9 years. I surrendered my life to God on September 25th, 2006. There may be ways I can help deal with this problem, from an insiders perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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