kamusat

"rampant nepotism" Really? What a strange choice of words... if you were talking about the Kennedy's, I would agree with you!

Luke 21:11 There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven. Luke 21:25 "There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea.

This will be long.. please bear with me... I am contemplating separation and possibly divorce from my husband and I need prayer and fellowship from those of you who have been there. I have been married 24 years. During this time, you name it and my husband has done it to me. (I could write a book on that, but I won't go into details unless someone asks.) About 5 years ago, he claims he "converted" and was baptised. (before this he was an athiest) For about 4 months after he was baptised, he was truly a different person. It didn't last long. He is the picture of the seed that fell on rocky ground. He sprouted quickly with a lot of fervor, but the minute things didn't go the way he thought they should he fell away. Since that time, he has become angry and bitter and full of wrath. He has a terrible temper that erupts over the smallest of things. He quite often breaks things. During his tirades, he will verbally thrash whoever has the misfortune of being around... almost always me and the kids. He will rake us over the coals over everything that happens to come into his mind at the moment. When he calms down, he never aplogizes nor does he feel shame or guilt. He feels totally justified and righteous in his anger and tells us so. I must point out that he says still believes in God and is a Christian, however, he doesn't believe God is interested in us personally, and that there is no need to pray, go to Church or even ask for forgiveness. He himself doesn't believe in forgiveness, he has a grudge against every living soul that has ever come in contact with him. He believes totally that it is right to be angry, bitter and unforgiving. He will spout out scripture to "show" us how right he is.. but of course it's totally twisted. When I try to counter it with Scripture, he gets furious. In all instances, he is incapable of debate or even discussion about ANYTHING at all when the other person doesn't believe exactly the way he does. As time goes on , he has gotten worse and worse. Now, he is almost always seething with anger about something, each and every day. Last summer, he consented to Christian counciling. My husband treated the counciling like I was the one who needed help, and refused to accept any responsibility nor would not even discuss that his anger and temper were wrong. After 6 sessions, the councilor told me that it was futile talking to him and stopped the sessions. Even if he hadn't stopped them, my husband would have put an end to them shortly after. You see, the sessions were about my husband telling the councilor (who has a PhD) how wrong he was about everything. As you probably already have guessed, my husband is enraged at this man for daring to try to show him how he needs help. Even during all this drama, I never thought about leaving him because I thought it was my Christian duty to stay with him. However, all that changed when I realized that my duaghter has started having health problems due to my husbands temper. To make matters worse, my husband has never been capable of keeping a job for long. He is incapable of dealing with everyday things... like licencing the cars, buying groceries, paying bills, calling someone on the phone etc. I have had to do all of it all our married lives. I have always been the breadwinner. 7 years ago, he had a job for several years, even though he didn't work more than a couple days a week. (he was supposed to be full time) He always found some excuse as to why he couldn't go to work. Anyway, he took over the job of paying bills during that time and before I realized it, he had squandered all of our income and put us into debt BIG time. (There isn't a dime he can't spend nor a credit card he can't max out in a very short peroid of time.) I am at my wits end. He will not take any responsibility for anything and blames me for everything. He is mean, rude and nasty to us. I have done everything I know how to be a light to him, but things just keep getting worse and worse. He tells me I am crazy for thinking he is wrong to be so angry and insinuates that I am the one with the issues that cause all our problems. My delima is this: if I left him, he would be left destitue. He has nothing and he has no one. He has alienated everyone he has ever come in contact with so he has no friends. He disowned his family several years ago and refuses to even acknowledge they exist. He can't work, he can't deal with everyday life at all. Furthermore, if I left him, it would enrage him and he would go on a spree that would end him up in jail or dead. (I know this because of the times I've tried to separate from him before) Everyone I know would be affected, he would go on a rampage that would affect my neighbors, the church, my co-workers... absolutely everyone I know. It is possible he would hurt them, and at the very least vandalize their property or threaten them. And he would not leave me alone, he would make my life absolutely miserable for however long it takes before he does something that will land him in jail. For a long time I thought the consequences would be worse leaving him than just staying with him. However, I have to think of my kids.. they have had to live with this long enough. Don't they deserve a life without constant anxiety? What should I do? I feel like I can't possibly live like this anymore and it's my duty to protect my kids... but the consequences of my leaving would affect so many other people...it breaks my heart that they would have to suffer because of him. I know that if I did leave, I would need physical protection from him while I got my things together to walk out the door. We have a ton of pets that he would hurt... there are so many things to consider!! Can I ask for your prayers and support? I really need help to get through this... I would appreciate any insight anyone might have. I really need it! kamusat

To Hebrews Beauty... HEAVY SIGH...... You sound just like I did when I was a young adult. I was so proud of my ability to be "open minded". I was so sure of myself and what I thought was right. I too was a liberal, positive that I was so intellectually superior to others who weren't as "open minded" as i was. I too searched... many different religions, many different Christian demominations.... Now that I'm older and wiser, I see that all the "issues" you list as being important to be "open minded" about is pure politics. It's all a game...played to get people like you to believe what they want you to believe. This happens a lot in college because you are way too young to know how the world operates, and you have no experience to draw from. Honey, you have to research on your OWN and do your own thinking before you will ever have an inkling of the truth on global warming or anything else that is the RAVE of the moment. Like another poster said.. back in the 70's when I was in school, we were told of the inevitable coming ice age.. you need to study history and see that all these things have gone around before... I find it amusing that the National Weather service has the fastest, most complex and advanced computers in the world today. And our climate is so complex that even with that technology, they can't even accurately predict what the weather will do next weekend, let alone something like global warming or and ice age!! I know you are sincere, and I know you really think you are okay, but dear sister... the one and only true thing you can count on is the WORD. Study it daily... see what it says about these things you want to be "open minded" about. If you do, I guarantee you will KNOW THE REAL TRUTH, not the "truth" some politician or professor thinks you should know. Believe me, I've been there and done that.. Blessings to you.

Hello, I have a question about forgiveness. A person told me today a Christian does not need to pray. I asked this person how they ask for forgivenss, and they told me there was no need for that because Jesus forgave us once and for all. So, according to this person, it is not necessary to pray nor ask for forgiveness if you are a Christian. Personally, I don't really believe this, but I would like some input. I want to make sure I know that truth... Blessings, kamusat

Several have said they are not "one issue voters" and most of the time I agree. There are a lot of issues out there that are not do or die issues. But in the case of abortion, when the most innocent and helpless of us are murdered, I am TOTALLY in favor of voting based on that alone. I would never vote for any politician, Rep or Dem that is in favor of abortion. I fully agree that if you vote for someone who believes in abortion you condone abortion. We have to protect the most vunerable amoung us.. unborn children, born children, and people who are too sick to defend themselves. It grieves me that we are so selfish that we condone "putting down" (as we say on the farm) of anyone we deem as unworthy, too much trouble or inconvienent. How Jesus must grieve....

I thought I'd share my morning devotional. It spoke to me volumes about myself... I think we all have had situations in our lives where we were "The Stubborn Little Lamb" A Stubborn Little Lamb Tuesday, November 7, 2006 by Anabel Gillham As for God, His way is blameless. Psalm 18:30 For the Lord your God is a compassionate God. Deuteronomy 4:31 Whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. Romans 8:29 I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it. Philippians 1:6 "Cmon, Buttons, you can do it! Jump! Hey, you're supposed to go over the poles,not try to knock them down with your head! Jump! Please jump!" Sherrie watched as the lamb tried every way to get around or under the hurdle rather than to jump over it. He was dirty and completely exhausted, and she was dirty and completely exhausted. It was only three months until the first competition, and this stubborn Buttons adamantly refused to do what she knew must be done in order to win. She picked him up and put him over the barricade. She guided him through her legs and arms, making a tunnel that would be his only way to go. No success. She was dealing with an obstinate, stupid, rebellious little sheep. This wasn't the first time Sherrie had entered a lamb in the livestock show, but it was the first time she had experienced such difficulty in training an animal that was bent on bucking someone so much bigger and smarter than he was. And she wasn't doing anything that would hurt him . . . only what it would take to make him into a prizewinning sheep. Sherrie had tried everything to get him to go through this simple routine that was needed to strengthen his hindquarters. It was an important point in the judging, so she was obviously going to have to take more drastic measures. She had put his food on the other side of the hurdle and the silly little lamb still balked. In fact, he nearly wore himself out trying to get under the hurdle. What to do? "Well, Ill just put in more barriers to where he can't possibly get under the barricade or go around it. He will have to go over it! Why he's so determined to go against what I have planned for him, and where he got it into his little brain that I'm trying to hurt him or that I'm doing something that will ruin his life, is beyond me." All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way. Isaiah 53:6 Hmmmmm. I think I understand a little better now why were sometimes compared to sheep in Your Word. My head is throbbing from trying to knock my problems out of the way. I'm weary. Exhausted. Bewildered. And why am I so determined that what You allow to come into my life is meant to hurt me or to wreck my plans, when Your only purpose is to make me into a prizewinning sheep? Im sorry, Lord. Thank You for working so hard with me. And I'm very thankful to know that You aren't going to give up on me. My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. John 10:27 Come to think of it, You're the only One who knows the date of the competition. Maybe You're working overtime on some of us?

Dearest Sister in Christ, My heart goes out to you as do my prayers. I live in much the same situation as you do. A lot of what you wrote I have been through myself. I have been married 24 years. My husband became a Christian (or so he says) about 5 years ago. I was so hopeful that his behavior would change, since we are told we become a new person. He has just gotten worse. You are not alone! Many on this board have been a huge blessing to me. Please allow me to be the same for you. Please, ANYTIME you want to talk or vent, feel free to privately PM me. It is so wonderful to have christian sisters who know EXACTLY what you are going through. It really helps to know it's not your fault. I look forward to hearing from you! I will continue to pray for you Tama! In Christian love, kamusat

Hello all, I don't post much so I have no idea if this is the correct place. I wanted to share a devotional that I had this morning before work. It really helped me. I hope it will help others... Wait Friday, July 28, 2006 by Anabel Gillham In quietness and trust is your strength. Isaiah 30:15(b) Lord, it seems that I have no strength at all today. Frustrations have caused my emotions to head for the top of the chart; evaluating the people around me has caused unrest; evaluating myself has caused confusion. But then, I haven't sat quietly with You, listening, sharing, nor have I verbalized my trust in You with the depth I need. Oh, I have said, "I trust in You today, Lord"-but I have not done that with my whole heart-with what's happening in my world. It's been a "surface saying." So, I see why I have no strength. I find it difficult to take the time to be quiet and yet I long for that-solitude, stillness, no disturbance-quietness. Help me, Lord. Cease striving and know that I am God; Psalm 46:10 cease: to end; stop striving: to make great efforts; to try very hard; to struggle know: to be well informed about; to be aware of; to be acquainted with; to recognize or distinguish; have confidential knowledge God says: Stop trying. Stop struggling. You've heard the illustration of a drowning man-how difficult it is to help him as he flails his arms-as he panics and struggles to save himself. This is what you're doing. You are endeavoring to accomplish something that is beyond your ability to achieve. Stop doing it. Just stop! Your efforts are futile. Your strength will fail. Don't you know who I am? Don't you acknowledge My power? My wisdom? My love? You know the kind of person I am. I've told you. I am gracious and compassionate; abounding in lovingkindness and truth; I forgive iniquities, transgressions and sins. I keep my lovingkindness for thousands. I know the plans that I have for you-plans for good-not for evil. I am God. The Lord of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me? Anabel, let Me do it for you, please. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. Ps. 27:14 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Ps. 37:7 I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. Ps. 40:1 My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. Ps. 62: 5-6 I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning. Ps. 130:5-6 How eager do you suppose the watchman is for the morning to come? He's been awake all night; vigilant; alert; at attention; all senses at maximum operating power; denying himself the slightest relaxation. Oh, he is eager for the first flush of dawn. He watches for the least bit of light showing in the eastern sky. He waits, patiently. He waits, expectantly. He waits with confidence-he knows the dawn will come. That's how I'm to wait for the Lord. Am I talking about waiting for Him to come again? Of course. That is for my tomorrow. This is for my today. I wait for Him to show Himself strong in my behalf. I watch as He protects me, as He shields me from evil. Oh, there is so much more to this relationship than I have seen-or that I have experienced. How much longer do I have left to live with Him in this intimate role of faith and hope and trust? I won't need any of those things once He comes again and I am released from this hindrance of earth. I don't like to think about that. I like our relationship the way it is. And I want to learn to wait-please teach me, Lord. Thank You for Your patience. Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:31

Bravo ickduboise!!!! Blessings, kamusat

When I lived in South Carolina about 10 years ago, I knew a co-worker who had married at 15 to a 27 year old man. (At the time I met her, she was about 30 years old.) I was married at 18... it was WAY TOO YOUNG!!! It seems like most married people are looking to find ways to divorce, and single people are looking to find ways to get married!! Blessings, kamusat

I have Sky Angel. I enjoy watching EWTN. I also enjoy watching Charles Stanley and just a few others. Most of the preaching I see is what my husband calls "christian light". I love the worship channel, with it's beautiful music and scripture. Blessings kamusat

Amen Shiloh357!! Blessings, kamusat

Dear Jackie0621, I am so sorry you are in such a difficult situation. Please, don't ever think it is your fault, or that you are ugly, or undesirable. It has NOTHING to do with you. Your husband would be this way with ANYONE he was with, it isn't just YOU. Please, dear heart, do not allow those feelings to get the better of you. I know how hard it is. I can identify with a lot of what you said, as my husband has done a lot of the same things. You are special, God loves you and He is there to help you through these times of pain. I don't believe in divorce, but if it is all possible, I would council a separation. No matter what he says, there is something wrong with internet "flirting" and it will lead to more sin given time... If you want to talk futher, more privately, PM me. You are not alone, sister... Blessings, kamusat

What a wonderful calling you have, and I pray that you are sucessfull. The one problem I have found in the Church is the "me" attitude. No one focuses on Christ. They all focus on what they want, what they need, what they think should happen. And it better HAPPEN NOW!!!! No one seems to want to keeps their eyes on the Lord, they want to be rich, or healthy or whatever. There seems to be no instruction as to how to deal with bad times, which God uses to mold us, instead they concentrate on asking God to take them away. Now, I'm not saying it's wrong to pray and ask for help. God tells us to pray without ceasing, to pray about EVERYTHING. But, it seems to me, there is no emphasis at all on God, how great He is, how wonderful He is, how gracious He is, how powerful He is. People don't seem to want to keep their eyes on Him, they just want their problems taken care of. I personally believe we should be praising God for His greatness every day, first and foremost. We are to look at Him, seek Him FIRST, and then everything else will fall into place, according to His will, not ours. I have seen many a Christian, who immediately gets mad at God when things don't happen the way they think they should, and thus blame God and then drift away. (My husband is a prime example) I wish I could find a Church that gave you instruction, helped you along, was there for you etc.. when you go through tough times. I wish the pastor would visit me once a week, like he did when I was growing up. I wish I could walk into his office and talk, like it used to be. I think there is little to any Spiritual guidance anymore. It's all about "me". Thanks for giving me this opportunity, Blessings, kamusat