LadyRaven Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted September 2, 2006 For those of you that have read my last msg posted regarding the way i was raised in a Pencostal church and then later in life began attending a Baptist church with my husband at the time ....hopefully knowing the background teachings i have had will explain why i am curious to know what other's believe here as far as if it's okay or not ok for someone to remarry after a divorce. i do know according to God''s word that there are certain situations where it's allowed and where it's not. Here is one way i was taught in a church that i attended many years ago: His word states that if any man divorces his wife (except for fornication)[/i] and marry's another commits adultry. i have heard it explained that if two divorce because either one or the other has been unfaithful...that "act of unfaithfulness" in God's eye leaves both free to remarry due the sexual sin has broken the yoke between them and therefore it is okay if they divorce and remarry. But only in that situation. Otherwise, they are bound to the other until death separates them, whether they divorce or not. Mainly because that one act of joining their bodies to another ---other than their mate---- is the only grounds God will accept as reason to divorce and permits remarriage. Yet i have also heard that remarriage is only permitted for the partner that was faithful, but the unfaithful partner is not permitted to remarry. So is God's word clear on which party is permitted to remarry? Are both free to remarry because that one act of unfaithfulness severed that bond? Just interested in getting more insight to this subject. in Christ, robin There are two times a believer can lawfully, according to scripture, divorce. One is for the reason posted above. It can be argued that that means both can remarry, however I don't see it saying that directly. If the guilty party can remarry, that is inferred into the text, not taken directly from it. Of course the right of a woman to divorce an adulterous spouse is also inferred, by reversing man and woman, but I believe this is allowable. As far as the second, I'm not sure. My church says no. However, my ex remarried and then he and his new wife went before the church and publically repented and so now his marriage is recognised. The other is when a believing spouse is married to an unbeliever and that unbeliever sees fit to leave (the text in my bible says "is not pleased to dwell with" and says that the believer "is not bound"). Many congregations will use this text to justify all sorts of divorces (they declare the "other" spouse an unbeliever) and I'm not sure that is a wise use of the text. I doubt that helped you any but everyone is entitled to my opinion whether they need it or not, so there you have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherishedfaith Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/17/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/28/1961 Author Share Posted September 2, 2006 *sighs deeply* well i didn't wish for this to become a debate at all and i didn't want to come off as sounding like i promoted remarriage in certain circumstances...all i was looking for was someone to help me maybe...which seem's i'm beyond help at this point. Only cause i'm so very lonely....God know's my heart....He know's what i suffered with through my marriage...and now it seem's because of my choice to do what i did and divorce....i'm forever doomed to live the rest of my life alone...guess that gives me alot of hope for tomorrow huh...not. anyways..thanks to all for your help and input and may God bless each and every one of you. *hug* robin no! you're not doomed! please read my last couple of posts. divorce is not unforgivable, and God may very well bring you the husband of your dreams. TRUST HIM! i'm trying..i trully am. However, this isnt easy to admit...but i wasn't the innocent party in my marriage. After the birth of my last son, i went into a severe case of post partum depression....my husband and i was having many problems...anyways, i feel like the woman that was getting ready to be stoned right now....i feel so utterly hopeless because i made wrong choices in the past and now i must live with them the rest of my life....i know God has forgiven me, but the thought of living my life like a nun the rest of my life isn't so appealing. Yes, i know many out there are saying i got what i deserved....but you trully don't know what mental state i was in at that time nor what i am about...so please don't throw your rocks so soon. i do love the Lord..i trully do and i know whatever happens....some day i pray i can forgive myself and find happiness in being alone, cause right now it just hurts so very deeply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 *sighs deeply* well i didn't wish for this to become a debate at all and i didn't want to come off as sounding like i promoted remarriage in certain circumstances...all i was looking for was someone to help me maybe...which seem's i'm beyond help at this point. Only cause i'm so very lonely....God know's my heart....He know's what i suffered with through my marriage...and now it seem's because of my choice to do what i did and divorce....i'm forever doomed to live the rest of my life alone...guess that gives me alot of hope for tomorrow huh...not. anyways..thanks to all for your help and input and may God bless each and every one of you. *hug* robin no! you're not doomed! please read my last couple of posts. divorce is not unforgivable, and God may very well bring you the husband of your dreams. TRUST HIM! i'm trying..i trully am. However, this isnt easy to admit...but i wasn't the innocent party in my marriage. After the birth of my last son, i went into a severe case of post partum depression....my husband and i was having many problems...anyways, i feel like the woman that was getting ready to be stoned right now....i feel so utterly hopeless because i made wrong choices in the past and now i must live with them the rest of my life....i know God has forgiven me, but the thought of living my life like a nun the rest of my life isn't so appealing. Yes, i know many out there are saying i got what i deserved....but you trully don't know what mental state i was in at that time nor what i am about...so please don't throw your rocks so soon. i do love the Lord..i trully do and i know whatever happens....some day i pray i can forgive myself and find happiness in being alone, cause right now it just hurts so very deeply. my heart goes out to you robin! if you read my first response in this thread, you'll see that i was guilty of adultry in my first marriage. but if God forgave the prostitute, and sent away her accusers telling them "let he who is without sin cast the first stone", don't you think He will do that for you as well? you've repented for your adultry.... you know that God has forgiven you... it is you who has not forgiven yourself. you're allowing satan to condemn you when Jesus has freed you. don't give the enemy that kind of power. God is going to bring you a husband, and He is going to bless your marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsSealedEternal Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 474 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/31/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted September 2, 2006 The other is when a believing spouse is married to an unbeliever and that unbeliever sees fit to leave (the text in my bible says "is not pleased to dwell with" and says that the believer "is not bound"). Many congregations will use this text to justify all sorts of divorces (they declare the "other" spouse an unbeliever) and I'm not sure that is a wise use of the text. This is the type of teaching that prompted my husband and I to dig further into the topic at hand. For reference purposes, that teaching can be found at the following link: Link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsSealedEternal Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 474 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/31/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted September 2, 2006 It is just as Jesus told the woman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted September 2, 2006 i'm trying..i trully am. However, this isnt easy to admit...but i wasn't the innocent party in my marriage. After the birth of my last son, i went into a severe case of post partum depression....my husband and i was having many problems...anyways, i feel like the woman that was getting ready to be stoned right now....i feel so utterly hopeless because i made wrong choices in the past and now i must live with them the rest of my life....i know God has forgiven me, but the thought of living my life like a nun the rest of my life isn't so appealing. Yes, i know many out there are saying i got what i deserved....but you trully don't know what mental state i was in at that time nor what i am about...so please don't throw your rocks so soon. i do love the Lord..i trully do and i know whatever happens....some day i pray i can forgive myself and find happiness in being alone, cause right now it just hurts so very deeply. Honey, you do realise that if Christ is in you, you are a wonderful creation, special and precious...even if you are alone? Right? You do need to forgive yourself and then take one day at a time from there. And this is something I truly believe also...we can't give to another person something we don't have in the first place. It's not about "getting" but giving to be with someone. While my first marriage ended with my ex claiming he wasn't really a christian and that he'd committed adultery, the entire marriage was filled to the gills with my ex and I both being dysfunctional vacuum cleaners attempting to "get" from each other as much as we could and not being able to (one of us had no idea how and the other was too scared to try) give at all. We had all the prerequisite warm fuzies in the beginning and we were both determined to not divorce right up until the very end when he met someone that he actually "fell in love with" (he' committed adultery repeatedly, but I could never prove it and I wasn't sure if my church would recognise porn as adultery, though *I* thought it was and I wasn't about to divorce if I was "doomed" to be alone forever...and I just was sure I could force him to keep his promises by sheer force of stubbornness). To us to divorce was to mean that we were both complete personal failures...and yet we did because we thought the other was supposed to make us something. I can't say what's up with my ex, though I know he's not happy there either. Me, I finally figured the whole thing out. Between myself and Jesus, I have no "need" to get from anyone else. I am whole and full with the situation just as it is. *IF* God sees fit to bless me with MR Right, I will now be able to actually be a "giver" and not a "taker." My motivation right now is not to find someone, but to be the person God is creating me to be to the best of my ability through His grace. One way of looking at it is that I am becoming Miss Right, whether i get a Mr Right is up to God...if not HE is my husband. The point of this ramble is that while you are still hurting, you would not be a good wife, regardless of whether you are allowed to be one or not. Take care of your relationship with God, heal yourself in his grace. Then pray over your marital situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 mrs. sealed, i'm going to quote myself here...27Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. scripture indicates here that one should not seek a divorce, nor should one who is divorced seek a wife... BUT and IF he marries again, he has not sinned any more than a virgin who marries the first time. so for the innocent mate who has been issued a divorce by their spouse, they do not sin if they remarry. nothing in scripture is irrelevant. nothing in scripture is written without reason or purpose. all of scripture is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. that being said, divorce (even for the guilty party) is not the unforgivable sin. once you've repented of your sin, your slate has been wiped clean. if you've repented of divorce, you don't spend the rest of your life still guilty of it. if God is true to His word, then the sin of divorce has been forgiven once you've repented. God no longer remembers it. by the same token, the prostitute who has never been married is just as forgiven when she repents of her fornication and becomes just as white as snow as the person who has remained a virgin til their wedding night. once a new creature in Christ, the past is erased. in both instances, be it the prostitute or the divorcee, once they have been reconciled to God, they are free to marry. now... robin is in deep despair here. she has committed adultry. she has obtained a divorce that she initiated. she has repented and been forgiven. do you believe that God's grace is sufficient to erase her past and wipe her slate clean? or do you believe that she is, and will forever be, guilty? you quoted a passage from john 8. go read john 4, where Jesus gave living water (forgiveness) to the woman who had been married FIVE TIMES. whoever here is without sin, stone her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billie Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,849 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 14 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/17/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1979 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Raven, you're awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Me, I finally figured the whole thing out. Between myself and Jesus, I have no "need" to get from anyone else. I am whole and full with the situation just as it is. *IF* God sees fit to bless me with MR Right, I will now be able to actually be a "giver" and not a "taker." My motivation right now is not to find someone, but to be the person God is creating me to be to the best of my ability through His grace. One way of looking at it is that I am becoming Miss Right, whether i get a Mr Right is up to God...if not HE is my husband. excellent words of wisdom ladyR.... that's pretty much where i had to get to in my relationship with God also, before he brought me my Mr. Right. and still, mr right isn't perfect... neither am i! i spent nearly a decade as a divorced mother of two before i had learned to rely completely on God to be my husband... and yes, even then, i used that exact terminology... God was my husband. and when i'd learned to be content with my life, and happy with God as my sole provider, that's when i asked God to bring me a husband that i could lie next to in bed... and He answered that prayer with an abundance of blessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyGunivere Posted September 2, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 454 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/19/1985 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Raven is wonderful and hugs to faith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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