I wore a strapless dress...

[Guest pixy]

Parents tend to due things in what they consider is the best interest of the child. It normally won't change w/ age. They do it out of love. You want them to accept who you are but you as well must love & accept them for who they are. Be thankful for parents who care enough to do these things. Alot of people would like for their parents to care more about them. The part about the guy being non christian seems inappropriate because it does cross a personal boundary on who you should date but its very common for parents to choose a spouse. Its still practiced in other cultures & until the 21st century was a common tradition.

Maybe you're right. I think I'm just over-reacting about this whole thing. I tend to do that sometimes. I'm going to try to stop thinking that my parents have bad motives and just give this guy a chance. He did buy me a very pretty gardenia tree. I shouldn't be so critical of him. I suppose he's making an effort to be nice to me.

[followerofjesus]

Yes he might be a great guy. It sounds like he is not being honest w/ you though. Be very guarded if he has no faith. His morals will be based on what fits his own self interests. On the other hand you may be the guiding light & authority to show him the light. We all need a bump every once in awhile. Somethings wrong he won't give his name & said he's a doctor. It sounds like he's hiding something. Remember ; his conscience is seared.

Buying something for you does not automatically make a good person.

[Guest Biblicist]

AN UPDATE...

Well... I was hoping for some more time to think and pray about the dating thing before having to see Patrick again, but...

He called me tonight...

I was in my car, just turning into the parking area at my apartment. He told me that my Mom told him I should be home by now, so he's wondering if he can see me. I told him that I was really tired, as I had just gotten home from a long day, and asked if he could wait until this weekend to call again.

Then he says: "if you just got home, why are you not answering your door?"

And stupid me, who just wasn't thinking at all says: "Because I'm just now pulling in to the lot."

By the time I parked, and got stuff out of my trunk, he showed up behind me.

I started yelling at him and threatened to call 911 if he didn't get out of my face. But then, he pulls me into this hug and tells me that he knows I'm upset about the situation, and that he understands why, and that he wants to help me.

I pulled away and told him that we could talk, but that if he did anything inappropriate at all, I would call 911. So, we went into my apartment and talked over a few things.

He seems like an okay guy, I guess, but until I know how involved he is in my parents' scheme, I don't really want to confide in him or trust him. He won't give me his last name, which is weird. He told me he's a gynocologist, and I want to check out his credentials and stuff, but I can't do that w/out a last name...

Heather,

I don't care what this guys intentions are, up till now they have NOT been honorable. He hasn't even properly introduced himself to you and he's doing these things?! Does anyone know if it's legal to stalk someone because the parents gave permission? What he did is considered stalking. Just as I predicted, he feels as if he has "rights" to you, showing up unannounced, trying to hug you, saying he wants to "help you". Why not, your mother has given him permission to do so. You need to tell this guy that what he did was inappropriate and you do not want to see him again. The last person you need to be dating, with your history, is a gynecologist.

I can not believe that your parents, not only gave him your phone number and address, but the time you should be home!!! Are they asking for you to be assaulted? Your parents are going to far. It is time you get out from under your parents thumb. Start taking money from your joint accounts and opening new ones under you own name. If you go to US Bank in Giant Eagle you get $100 in free groceries for opening an account. Next, find a cheap car, a $500 clunker. Get it purchased, paid for and in your name before they know about it, then give them the keys to the one in your fathers name.

This just rubs me the wrong way!

Bib

[Leonard]

He won't give his last name???? That's not only wierd, it's the equivalent of a mafioso telling you "Don't ask me about business...." Something is up.

This is beginning to sound rather demonic....in the very literal sense of the word. I think there is some demonic activity going on here, and I will be praying to rebuke those evil spirits.

[ladypeartree]

Pixy have you lost your mind ??????

In earlier posts you complianed about being hassled on line after putting your pic up and now you inviite a stranger into your appartment wh will not tell you his name or anything about himself that you can check up on BECAUSE HE GAVE YOU A POTTED PLANT ????????

YOU ARE NOT A CHILD ...you are almost 30 years of age and still doing things that you do not want to do including putting yourself in danger because of what ??? you want to be a "good girl" ? you want to please mummy and daddy ? you may lose your car ?? WAKE UP sunshine you could lose your life here and if that is being melodramatic tell it to all the other young women who have been murdered by "nice young men"

You tell us about a man who stalks you , will not back off even when you threaten to call the police and hugs you without permission when you are alone in your appartment and then say that you need to date him because your parents want you to

You say you cant move away because your father would take your car away and they are wealthy ....since when do you need an expensive car to survive?

You need to make up your mind whoes life this is that you are living ...yours or your parents ? This is NOT the eighteenth century YOU can do somthing about your situation if you want to but you keep making excuses and you may be putting your life in danger because of it ...what does it take to wake you up ?

From what you have said here ( and we can only take your side of the story ) your parents are WAY out of line ....you are NOT A CHILD but still you put up with it ........ They have totally ignored your safety let alone your feelings about this but still you put up with it ..........What is it going to take ? You have had some excellent advice about keeping yourself safe and how much obver the line of the law your parents have stepped and you STILL keep doing things you claim you dont want to do in order to what ???? appease your parents ??? You do not live at home, you are working and able to support yourself even if not in the style you would like so can you PLEASE tell us why you still put up with it...?

Sorry for the rant and for being so very blunt but the last thing I want is to have a notice put up here at worthy telling us that you have been badly hurt or even killed by what sounds life the creepiest man I have heard of in a good while and this Gynocologist is the man that oggled your breasts at your parents home in front of everyone else ??????

Believe it or not you are loved and cared about by me ( despite the straight talking ) and many others here ...now care about yourself and do something brave, sensible and right

[salos]

Pixy, dear, Followerof Jesus's posts do not apply to your situation. You are dealing with people who have a criminal mentality.

You have to get yourself out from under your parents' influence. If that means moving to another state, move. Leave the car if you must. They are trying to enslave you to their wishes.

As Christians we are not supposed to allow others to intimidate us.

I Peter 3:6 (NKJV): "Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror." Our obedience to earthly authority is not supposed to keep us a situation where we are scared!

I Thess. 3:8b, "stand fast in the Lord." It's time for you to stop worrying about your parents. They brought you into the world. That's great, that's fine. Time to move on. Read psalm 1 and consider what they are really like and what kind of people God wants you to be with.

Matt. 10:26 (NKJV): "Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known."

You might want to study these verses:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?searc...viticus%2018:3;

Good luck. All of us here really care.

[AnotherTraveler]

My parents have also been known to hire private detectives to follow me when they think I'm up to something suspicious or not following through on something they've instructed me to do. With this in mind, I think it would be difficult for me to escape. They would probably just find me eventually, and then everything would be much worse.

Your prison might be lined in silk, but you need to escape. All the trappings of wealth are just trappings. I would recommend beginning a police file on your stalker immediately and making the tough decisions you know must be made to get free. If you need to move to the other end of the country, gas up the car and go. Stuff can be replaced. A new job can be obtained. Go where your parent's influence does not corrupt officials in their discharge of their duties. Go to a women's shelter and get professional help in this matter.

Everything about your situation that I have read indicate levels of witchcraft, intimidation, and serious danger. This guy grabs you and hugs you when you are threatening to call 911? Refuses to give his last name? GO TO THE AUTHORITIES. What he did is called assault, and it is only the beginning.

Your description of your parents shows them to be more guards than parents, keeping you in prison.

[Guest pixy]

Thank you all for your responses. I need to spend some serious time in prayer over this. As much as moving seems like the right answer here, I'm just not sure it is, and I'm not sure God is leading me in that direction. It's more complicated than what I've already stated.

There is someone else involved, who will get hurt if I move away...

I'm not just worried about the material things like my money (not that there is an abundance of it, because there's not) or my car. Although, it makes me sick to think of losing the car, because I've worked really hard to pay it off. But, I also don't want to be attached to worldy things; I would be like my parents then, and that is soooo not what I want.

This guy is seriously creeping me out though. And, I do promise to rid him from my life, even if I do stay in town. You all are right. He obviously doesn't have good intentions, so I need to give him the boot, and trust God that he'll keep me safe from my parents and then lay out some boundaries.

I was thinking this morning, that my parents shouldn't have even known when I would be home last night. I had the day off because of Ford's funderal (I'm a federal employee) so I was out of town actually for the day, visiting my college roommate. My parents knew this, and knew that when I get together with her, I'm normally out quite late. I actually ended up getting home much earlier than what could be considered "normal" for me. Maybe my mind is just running on overdrive right now, but it's a really big coincidence that he just happened to call when I was pulling into the lot. If he was really at my front door, he wouldn't have been able to see me pull in. There's something going on here that I'm not seeing, or maybe that I just don't want to look at too closely, for fear that I will see.

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. In response to LadyP, I probably am losing my mind. I'm so stressed out, I just want to go back to bed and hide under the covers. I called in sick to work today because, when I woke up this morning, I felt scared to leave my apartment while it was dark outside. There's like nobody out yet at the hour I leave for work. It's also dark when I get home. And, I am sick actually anyway. I'm on my last day of antiobiotic for a sinus infection that still isn't quite all the way gone yet.

And, I wasn't going to say this, but I'm tired and depressed and don't really care right now... In fact, I almost wish that Patrick would should up at my door with a gun or something and just shoot me. I'm also scared that my parents will hurt me, like literally, I mean... As in like physically or sexually hurting me. I'm scared that they'll hurt me if I stay and try to be aggressive and lay out boundaries. I'm scared that they'll hurt me if I go--that they'll just hunt me down and do something to me.

[ladypeartree]

Right now young lady you need help and you need it fast ...go to a womans refuge and ask them to help you ...I am not even in the same country or I would be right over there for you but someone on these boards must know how you can contact the womans refuge where you are and get the help that you need Dont let fear rule your life, get help it is there for you

[Candi770]

Thank you all for your responses. I need to spend some serious time in prayer over this. As much as moving seems like the right answer here, I'm just not sure it is, and I'm not sure God is leading me in that direction. It's more complicated than what I've already stated.

There is someone else involved, who will get hurt if I move away...

I'm not just worried about the material things like my money (not that there is an abundance of it, because there's not) or my car. Although, it makes me sick to think of losing the car, because I've worked really hard to pay it off. But, I also don't want to be attached to worldy things; I would be like my parents then, and that is soooo not what I want.

This guy is seriously creeping me out though. And, I do promise to rid him from my life, even if I do stay in town. You all are right. He obviously doesn't have good intentions, so I need to give him the boot, and trust God that he'll keep me safe from my parents and then lay out some boundaries.

I was thinking this morning, that my parents shouldn't have even known when I would be home last night. I had the day off because of Ford's funderal (I'm a federal employee) so I was out of town actually for the day, visiting my college roommate. My parents knew this, and knew that when I get together with her, I'm normally out quite late. I actually ended up getting home much earlier than what could be considered "normal" for me. Maybe my mind is just running on overdrive right now, but it's a really big coincidence that he just happened to call when I was pulling into the lot. If he was really at my front door, he wouldn't have been able to see me pull in. There's something going on here that I'm not seeing, or maybe that I just don't want to look at too closely, for fear that I will see.

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. In response to LadyP, I probably am losing my mind. I'm so stressed out, I just want to go back to bed and hide under the covers. I called in sick to work today because, when I woke up this morning, I felt scared to leave my apartment while it was dark outside. There's like nobody out yet at the hour I leave for work. It's also dark when I get home. And, I am sick actually anyway. I'm on my last day of antiobiotic for a sinus infection that still isn't quite all the way gone yet.

And, I wasn't going to say this, but I'm tired and depressed and don't really care right now... In fact, I almost wish that Patrick would should up at my door with a gun or something and just shoot me. I'm also scared that my parents will hurt me, like literally, I mean... As in like physically or sexually hurting me. I'm scared that they'll hurt me if I stay and try to be aggressive and lay out boundaries. I'm scared that they'll hurt me if I go--that they'll just hunt me down and do something to me.

When my emotions get the best of me and I really need to hear God, I pray about it and Fast. Fasting will naturally clear your mind and spiritually, so that you can hear him better. Get into the word and pray, wait to hear from him. He will also help you out of this situation. Pray always for protection but don't give into fear. This guy is only flesh. Let the Lord lead you as what you need to do. Don't even consider saying that you'd rather be harmed-repent of that ASAP. You are worth much to your Heavenly Father. Consider, and you now the situation better, but consider having a friend over or going to a friends house. Remain in faith and trust that God will deliever you. If your parents abused you in the past, you were an innocent child and were not capable of saving yourself, you are older, know what is going on and can allow God to deal with both you and them. I pray they have never done that to you. God doesn't want us to always run from the situation and you really need to hear it from Him. Sometimes we have to just stand in Faith. I hope your parents are not holding a child over your head or someone who they are using as a pawn, but even in that sitution, God can move. Don't give up hope in anything. Believe me, I've had the enemy attack me big time not to long ago, God warned me prior and continued to warn me and didn't even allow that "physical" person to ensnare me- God showed up and held me up. Remember that you are not waring against flesh and blood (people) it is the enemy (devil) who is the one who is trying to get you into fear. Give it to God, ask for protection: SUBMIT YOURSELF TO GOD, RESIST THE ENEMY AND HE SHALL FLEE! God Loves you and cares for you, remain in faith!

We will be praying for you.

candi770

The enemies first tactic is to get you into fear, what does the word of God say??? He always wants to rattle us, Sorry, God is to big for that situation, God is mighty to deliver us. Stand your ground in faith. Let the true shepherd lead you!