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Torn between My Mother & Daughter


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Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem!

I am still looking for your compassionate comments.........must i beg!

Liz

Huh???

;)

Right now Worthy forum's brothers and sisters is my only support system. This situation really stresses me out. I have got too many arrows coming against me at one time. I do write to my Pastor via the internet but he takes Monday's off.

If we say we are compassionate yet don't apply it, why admit to it. ;)

Liz

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Sorry about all the struggles you are having with your mother but I really encourage you to stay home and support your daugther. She is your priority!!! I am sorry she if having some problems.

Your mother, like alot of older moms, is just trying to manipulate you. I think your calls, letters and packages are very generous of you so continue that. But you are a mom, and you must care for your family.

BTW, lol, ask God to protect you from becoming like her when you are older. That is what I do.

She may be lonely, too.

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Liz,

How old is your daughter, does she live with you?

Shellie is 31 years old. No she doesn't live with me. We tried it a couple of times her living with me but it didn't work.

Liz

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She is a grown woman, Liz, she is responsible for herself. Go visit your mother for a few days, do what needs to be done and expect that God will take care of your daughter's needs.

I realize that you do not want to become like your mother, I don't know a single daughter who does, really. But by micromanaging your own daughter's life might you be doing just that?

Deuteronomy 5:16 "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

God will never tell you it is OK to ignore your mother's requests. She is alone, you are all she has.

1 Timothy 5:4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

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Liz ...no one can know what you are going through at the moment ....all we can do is love you and pray for you :rolleyes:

It is a good job that God made women to be so strong as we are pulled in so many ways trying to do what is right .

I dont know if it helps you at all but I think from what you have shared so far here that I would contact sister Mary who appears to know your daughters situation and ask if she can " keep an eye" on her for a week. Try to get some others who are close.. geographically ..to your daughter to discreetly keep watch in case of need and then go see your mother . Once you are assured that she is in fact doing well ..treat yourself to a few days ( even if it is just a weekend ) just relaxing and recharging your own health. If you continue in this way for much longer you will end up with a major health problem and then you will not be able to help either your mum or your daughter :laugh:

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ladypeartree is right. take care of yourself so you can take care of others...

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ladypeartree is right. take care of yourself so you can take care of others...
I wish someone had told me that when I spent a year running my household, and caring for my ailing father.

I guess I'm only speaking from my own experiences. Since my father died, no matter how far we have lived from my mother, not matter what my children's ages [they are now 15 & 12], she has always held to the two verses I quoted as her reasons for my taking care of her. I have a difficult time saying "no" to my mother when she requests things of me, no matter what is going on or how outrageous they have been. It's almost cost me my marriage many times. Praise the Lord my husband loves me enought to wait it out.

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Moved from the General Forum to the Looking for Advise Forum

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I agree witht he idea that your priority is your daughter...but if she is an adult, then surely she can handle you being away for a few days.

Still, your mother's words "if you can't come for three more days, don't bother coming at all," are completely unreasonable. Go for just a couple of days anyway, whatever she says. If she just repeats herself, tell her "mom, I'm coming anyway because I love you. I'm sorry, and I understand that you want to see me for longer, but circumstances won't allow that, so if you want to see me at all, it will have to be for a couple of days."

Hopefully that should get the message across...we women in general can be unreasonable sometimes, so I wouldn't be shocked if it didnt, if I were you...but it's worth a try. Whatever you say, start out with an "I understand how you feel" statement...it tends to calm things down a bit.

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