Biblical Reasons for Divorce?

[Arthur Durnan]

In a world where the One True Church of Jesus Christ has, in many respects, become like the very world around it, why not re-emphasize right from the start our Blessed Savior's (and His Apostles")universal & eternal declarations underscoring Holy Matrimony; "Till death do us part!," and ""Let not man put asunder!" Was there ever a time such as NOW for this holy reminder of the Savi9or's intention for His own? If as indeed He has promised NEVER to leave us, should we encourage in any way - especially by failing to underscore Jesus' lasting nature of the Wedding Covenant) man's increasing desire to leave each other re Holy Matrimony?

[hillsong_girl]

Um...maybe I will take some heat for this, but if my husband started doing drugs for example and refused to change or get help...there would be a divorce and I don't believe that is sin. I'm not going to jeopardize my life and future because of another person's evil choices. I think it is ABSURD to think a woman should stay with a man that is putting her it harm's way, totally ridiculous. You know, physical abuse is not adultery either, should we tell someone to stay married to an abuser? The Bible doesn't specifically give abuse as a reason to divorce, so should we say it's a sin to divorce in that case? I guess really what I think is we should yes, listen to the Bible and seek God's will on matters, but I think God gave us common sense, reason, and a brain for a reason!! My husband is a wonderful man, but if he turned on me and became a good for nothing alcoholic, drug dealer, abuser, whatever the case may be...and there was no help being sought, no desire to change...I would not tolerate that. I can forgive, but that doesn't mean I have to stay with someone.

Edited July 6, 2009 by hillsong_girl

[Believer1997]

There are divorce situations each day that have nothing to do with people 'straying' from each other. Would God or anyone have a woman remain in a marriage with a dangerous abuser? Someone who is Godless and berates and physically, mentally and emotionally abuses her daily? Where she would rather be dead than to remain in a marriage with someone who will not seek help for his mental problems and has begun to turn his hate-filled rage on his children?? I believe with all my heart, that motherhood is a sacred commission by God... mothers are to protect and teach and love their children. How can you do that when you literally fight for your life each day.?? So - sometimes it's truly a matter of life and death to get out of these situations.

What about the mother who finds out that her husband is sexually molesting her child? Pray for him -yes ... Stay with him - NO.

There are so many people who make self-righteous judgments about those who have suffered the agony of divorce and yes, it's like a death.

I know of many cases that the husband was going to be the one to decide the "til death do us part" promise... Say whatever you will, but you will never convince me that God wants that for his daughters...

Blessings.

[Smalcald]

Yes we must not put our families at risk of harm or danger or sexual abuse and if this is what is going on in a home the healthy Christian should leave the home.

Most Christian divorces are not for that reason though, most Christian divorces are for simple adultery or the desire to be with someone else. Not being in love is not a reason for divorce.

[south]

i agree to the "NO" answers. the husband obviously has addiction problems and needs help. divorce to me simply means she is giving up on him. i think she should try to learn more about the problem and see how best to help him. and also pray to God for help. God is able to free people from any form of bondage.

south

[Smalcald]

For me though I think we need a more balanced realistic approach to marriage and divorce.

Sure we can make very clear pronouncements about divorce not being acceptable, but really with Evangelical Christians getting divorces at the high rates that we see today, we can say these things all we want; it is not making a difference. People just "repent" and move on, which is fine, but it does nothing to help us fix the broken family system within the Christian Church, what kind of witness can we say we are when we have as much or more divorce than non-believers!

How can we approach this topic in a way that is effective?

One way to do that would be for Christian Churches to review divorces and marriages prior to granting them. If divorce IS biblical, than the Christian Church should be willing to give a Christian its blessing to divorce. The other way in my opinion is pre-marital preparation. Many divorces could be stopped by simply stopping foolish marriages, or marriages which are not based on God. Also look at who we are ordaining, scripture is pretty clear they are to have one wife, not several wives in a row.

I certainly don

[Wrench]

Um...maybe I will take some heat for this, but if my husband started doing drugs for example and refused to change or get help...there would be a divorce and I don't believe that is sin. I'm not going to jeopardize my life and future because of another person's evil choices. I think it is ABSURD to think a woman should stay with a man that is putting her it harm's way, totally ridiculous. You know, physical abuse is not adultery either, should we tell someone to stay married to an abuser? The Bible doesn't specifically give abuse as a reason to divorce, so should we say it's a sin to divorce in that case? I guess really what I think is we should yes, listen to the Bible and seek God's will on matters, but I think God gave us common sense, reason, and a brain for a reason!! My husband is a wonderful man, but if he turned on me and became a good for nothing alcoholic, drug dealer, abuser, whatever the case may be...and there was no help being sought, no desire to change...I would not tolerate that. I can forgive, but that doesn't mean I have to stay with someone.

There's more answeres than divorce. "Do not deprive yourselves of one another except for a time and for prayer" "If you divorce your wife and she remarries you cause her to commit adultery"

Separate, but don't divorce, pray and the Lord will answer.

"How do you know you wont save your husband?"

I was a drunk for 10 years. My wife lived through the abuse, (it did get physical one time,) And we seperated for a few months after that. Mostly the abuse was emotional and verbal. I did my best to destroy everything good in my and her and my kids lives.

Everyday my wife looked at me with loving eyes. Everyday my wife had kind words for me. Everyday my wife had affection towards me.

She was distant, but did what she could to love me for what I was doing.

I beleive the Lord gave her strength and wisdom. She honored the Lord and kept our vows.

She kept telling me 'I know this isn't you! This is not you, I know you. You're a kind gentle loving man."

I finally quit, and after a couple months of white knuckling it, the Lord delivered me completely. He's also heald my wifes heart, and my kids hearts, and my body and heart and mind. All the damage I tried to cause all those years was reversed by the mercy and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

People that are stuck in addictions are hurting too. They're sad, scared and lonely. Like a baby lost in the woods druing a storm.

My suggestion is not divorce. My suggestion is the same as the Lords suggestion.

If it's bad seperate, but only for a time. And keep communication open. You'll know true change when you see it, verses, the "I wanna come home now" Change.

There ain't been one single time a person who honored the Lord ain't been blessed for it.

[Believer1997]

I'm glad you were able to turn your life and marriage around, Professor.

It does not happen that way all the time. I chose to live and make sure my children were safe and free from experiencing the daily torture of being with someone who was controlling, abusive and hateful.

[Axxman]

Yeah...the bible gives a few vague replies to the question of divorce. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that its not God's perfect plan for a marriage to end in divorce...but then again, being married to a druggie isn't in God's perfect plan either.

Problem is...staying in the marriage and putting up with a bunch of garbage doesn't really cut it...and the penalty for divorce is ...well, basically its freedom and happiness. Its not like God is going to eternally condemn you for getting a divorce...in fact, because He is so awesome...He'll forgive you for it, and believe it or not, He'll actually understand why you did it.

Tell your friend to quit trying to come up with some psuedo-religious reason for dumping the druggie. If God wants her to stay in this marriage...he'll make it happen and she'll know it was from God. Otherwise...bounce out now...and rest in God's mercy and grace..

[Wrench]

I'm glad you were able to turn your life and marriage around, Professor.

It does not happen that way all the time. I chose to live and make sure my children were safe and free from experiencing the daily torture of being with someone who was controlling, abusive and hateful.

Most certainly it dont' happen that way all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not passing any kind of judgement on anyone about this. Well, to an extent I'm not. But, I don't know every circumstance, and I know there are some dire situations that happen, either as a result of drugs and alcohol, or just some men being blatantly evil.

There are ways out of divorce if you seek them,, such as, adultery, or having a spouse that's not a believer. The "commands" to the believer to stay with the unbeliever were from Paul, not the Lord, as he stated, "I say, not the Lord".

But, in my opinion every effort should be exhausted even including seperation for years upon years before a divorce is sought after.

No doubt the safety of the munchkins is top priority. I'm sure if I were a woman and in that situation I would leave. But as for a personal resolution, I would not divorce.

However, I'm sure I would leave my wife if she ever cheated on me. But, even then It would depend on the circumstances. While I was a drunk, if my wife cheated on me, I would've understood, cause I wasn't there physicaly or emotionaly, as a husband or a friend. And if some seductive stranger came along and she lost control, I couldn't blame her.