Scarletprayers Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted August 4, 2007 oak, I'm not trying to be mean here, but why did you ask us what we would do, if you were going to get upset when we gave you an answer. Give them a time limit to find a place to live, and stick to it. They will find a place if they know you are serious. I was a single mother with 3 kids, no help from their dad, can your grandchildren's parents not work??? Its hard to give answers without the whole picture, but with the information you gave me, I gave you the best answer I could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatingaxe Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 9,613 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 656 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/31/1952 Share Posted August 4, 2007 If you call these family members' bluff, you may get them to understand that you mean business. You gain the upper hand in that situation and can deal rightly with them...you hold all the cards. If they don't want to be on the street, then straighten up and fly right, I say. It's called tough love and getting your power back. One grandma to another, my dear... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 oak, how old are the grandchildren? where are their parents? i'm assuming the parents (or at least one of them) is living in your home. trust me, there is someone else they can leach off of. and if there isn't, there are a number of emergency shelters for those who have no place to live in your area. pray about this. you have two options. you move, or they move. (attempting suicide is NOT one of them... i know it bites that psych wards won't take you unless you've tried to kill yourself, but they CAN'T take you if you accidentally succeed.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakleaf Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 214 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/29/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/01/1963 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 oak, how old are the grandchildren? where are their parents? i'm assuming the parents (or at least one of them) is living in your home. trust me, there is someone else they can leach off of. and if there isn't, there are a number of emergency shelters for those who have no place to live in your area. pray about this. you have two options. you move, or they move. (attempting suicide is NOT one of them... i know it bites that psych wards won't take you unless you've tried to kill yourself, but they CAN'T take you if you accidentally succeed.) scarlet im sorry its just im trying to express my dileema i love those kids and i cant see them hurt or in danger their father died a year ago in may so its just my daighter and the 3 girls oldest will be 7 on the 22nd 5 on the 13th and 3 yrs old.....i dont know anymore i cant drive so i cant get away i am so confused my wife aint no help she ussualy starts the fighting and yelling as soon as she walks in the door ive got kids not listening their mom is constantly yelling at them all day and night none of the kids listen and if i make them listen then they cry and whine and go to there mom who lets them do what ever they want....my wife calls me from her work just to complain about one of mydaughters for who knows what this this time then she comes home and continueswith the complaining and gets to arguing with my daughter and then they both yell at me like its my fault........better picture of my hell......the more i think about it the worse it gets ......if i leave they lose the house if they leave they got nowhere to go we live in farm country......if i die they get the house and i get peace ..........nice choices huh.........oak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted August 4, 2007 2 many people in one house, and too many Mommas! oak, I wasn't yelling at cha! THERAPY for everybody. Sounds like your wife and daughter (add in the kids) are all getting on each others nerves. You add the death of a husband/father, you being so sick............thats alot of things to try to deal with at one time! I lost my son 3 years ago, I'm still not over it. I can't imagine how a child loosing a parent feels, but loosing anybody you love is hard. I think all of you need to sit down and calmly and rationally set some ground rules, if ya'll can't work it out together then get a professional to help! I'm still praying for you, your family and the whole situation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakleaf Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 214 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/29/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/01/1963 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 (edited) 2 many people in one house, and too many Mommas! oak, I wasn't yelling at cha! THERAPY for everybody. Sounds like your wife and daughter (add in the kids) are all getting on each others nerves. You add the death of a husband/father, you being so sick............thats alot of things to try to deal with at one time! I lost my son 3 years ago, I'm still not over it. I can't imagine how a child loosing a parent feels, but loosing anybody you love is hard. I think all of you need to sit down and calmly and rationally set some ground rules, if ya'll can't work it out together then get a professional to help! I'm still praying for you, your family and the whole situation! thanks scarlet ive trie the counseling thing and my wife neither would my daughter go i went by myself maybe i will just move out or better yet call my doc and tell her i want to end it all so she will have me committed Edited August 4, 2007 by oakleaf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColleenLovesMischief Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,791 Content Per Day: 0.37 Reputation: 21 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/21/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/13/1977 Share Posted August 4, 2007 I'd tell them they have a week to find new acomidations. Either that or tell them you will have them committed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted August 4, 2007 2 many people in one house, and too many Mommas! oak, I wasn't yelling at cha! THERAPY for everybody. Sounds like your wife and daughter (add in the kids) are all getting on each others nerves. You add the death of a husband/father, you being so sick............thats alot of things to try to deal with at one time! I lost my son 3 years ago, I'm still not over it. I can't imagine how a child loosing a parent feels, but loosing anybody you love is hard. I think all of you need to sit down and calmly and rationally set some ground rules, if ya'll can't work it out together then get a professional to help! I'm still praying for you, your family and the whole situation! thanks scarlet ive trie the counseling thing and my wife neither would my daughter go i went by myself maybe i will just move out or better yet call my doc and tell her i want to end it all so she will have me committed Well maybe they all need a wake up call. MOVE OUT! Find a little place and move out, tell them your not coming back and your selling the house because you REFUSE to live that way anymore. Sometimes talking doesn't work, people need a slap upside the head, before they really take notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 542 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 33,086 Content Per Day: 5.06 Reputation: 23,934 Days Won: 240 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Oak I have been in a similar situation ...my daughter , son in law and two teenage children moved in with me for a month as they had sold their house and hadnt got another ....they ended up living with me for more than 2 years I do understand how you feel but killing yourself is not only NOT right but have you thought how long your wife would put up with the situation if the house was hers and hers alone Not sure if your wife is also the mother of your daughter but two women living in one home when they have both been used to having their own place is a situation waiting to explode .... You REALLY need to pray about this one as only you can know the whole story and we do not want to be nosy but I would say ...if there is room to divide the house in some way so that each "family" has a room the others stay out of and then share the rest of the house it does at least give everyone a safe place to be away from the rows . if that doesnt happen then help your daughter to look for affordable accomodation and give her a set date to move out. I am praying for you as it must feel impossible but PLEASE think this through ..if you get committed it may get you the peace and quiet you need but will you enjoy being in an institution for who knows how long and with you out of the picture as it was then do you really think your daughter and her children would be able to stay for long if your wife is so angry with them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily~Anne Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 Can you try having a family meeting, being sure to lay ground rules first? 1) Pray together as a family before and after the meeting 2) NO YELLING! 3)No interrupting, I know that will be a hard one. Now, I have a ten year old son. And I have learned a few things. When you yell and become all emotional, you teach the children that it's a matter of who can most be emotional. So they learn to be very emotional and angry as a way of manipulation. I would lay out the facts that if things dont change, they are going to have to leave. My husband is a paraplegic in a wheelchair, and spent much of winter bedridden on a mattress on our family room floor. It was heart breaking to watch my husband who has a very high pain threshold, cry just cause it hurt so much to get in the tub. We have two boys ages ten and three. We have taught our boys to help their Daddy in many ways. I believe this is wonderful character training. If you can find ways for the kids to help, they may take a little pride in their behaviour. Me and my husband often talk about how much help a certain child was when they think we dont know they are in earshot. This kind of compliment comes across as very genuine to the child and our children have responded very well to this. Have all the adults in your family read this post and pm me if you'd like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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