Is there something wrong with me?

[KeilanS]

Hey all, I wanted to ask for some opinions on something that has been bothering me for quite awhile. I'm wondering if I'm anti-social. Now I need to be clear on what I mean by that, the psychological definition of anti-social isn't someone who can't fit in to society (although that can be a symptom), it is someone lacking the ability to feel certain human emotions.

I almost never cry, no matter what happens. I have cried before during worship for what it's worth, but if somebody tells me of some horrible accident I usually don't even feel bad. This is the thought that worries me the most, I've often wondered what I would feel if one of my parents or my brother died. I love my family, I really do, but sometimes I don't know if I'd feel sad. I'm just so disconnected from everything sometimes that I wonder if I would even feel like their passing was real. I've gotten to the point where I'm scared to even tell people about tragic events like a friend being in an accident because I'm worried that I'll be less concerned about the pain and more concerned with how they react. There are times when I've almost felt like grinning when telling bad news because I can't find the emotion to feel bad about it and I anticipate the reaction they'll have. Then I feel horrible afterwards because it really is terrible news.

This also effects my faith, Christians talk about feeling close to God... and while I think I've experienced this I don't know for sure. I have trouble feeling sad when thinking about the sacrifice Jesus made and sometimes I have trouble even feeling thankful.

I'm very confused, and advice would be great, but if not, then I think I also need prayers.

Edit: Just to give a bit more detail. I was reading up on Psychopathy and that seems to fit more than anti-social disorder... but it's still not a perfect match. For example, a psychopath is supposed to have no sense of right or wrong. I put a great deal of weight on the difference between right and wrong, I also feel guilty when I do something that hurts other people. I also read that psychopaths tend to see nothing wrong with their state, where as I hate it.

If there is someone here with some knowledge of psychology, could I get your thoughts? I'm not sure if someone can be a selective-psychopath...

[peaches]

oh Kelian, thats a hard thing to deal with.

i have felt like i am like that too when it comes to certain things. my best bet was to keep pestering God about it. if u have been, dont stop cos He is in the business of dealing with ur concerns.

[Iryssa]

I don't think there's something wrong with you so much...it's just that you're still at a stage of development where your emotional self is changing and learning to deal. What you may be seeing as a loss of feeling or lack of emotion may actually be your brain's current coping mechanism. You're getting emotional, but your brain is going "ah, that's too much! Tone it down a little, and let's not process this completely right now." This will change. You may, at some point, find that circumstances where your brain initially turned the volume down on your emotional response come back to you, and as you think of them you will react more obviously. For instance, when I found out my grandmother had a heart attack I kinda felt just...numb...like it wasn't a big problem and nothing would come of it. A while ago, however, I got to thinking about it...I thought about the damage it had done to her body, how her lifestyle has been affected since then, how it affected our family, how close we came to losing her. THEN I cried. I was ready to deal with it then. At the time when it actually happened, there was so much going on with me emotionally and physically (hormonally) I don't think I could have handled such an emotional response. It's kindof God's way of protecting us form mental breakdown, I think.

[KeilanS]

Thanks both of you. Iryssa, when you described feeling numb and like nothing would come of it. That's exactly the feeling I'm talking about. I guess I will wait it out and see what happens, and pray of course.

[Guest]

I guess I will wait it out and see what happens, and pray of course.

Ask The LORD For A Heart After God's Heart.

Ask God To Break Your Heart For The Lost And The Hopeless.

I Did And He Did.

My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the LORD: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God.

Psalms 84:2

Be Blessed Beloved Of The King

"Praise ye the LORD. I will praise the LORD with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, and in the congregation."

Psalms 111:1

Love, Your Brother Joe

[Scarletprayers]

Dear heart, there is nothing wrong with you! All of us handle things in different ways, have you actually had something really traumatic happen to you or someone extremely close to you???? So judging yourself on how you think you'll feel is has nothing to do with what you will actually feel if something should happen.

You've got alot of things on your plate right now, like Iryssa said, that has a tendency to cause our mind to insulate itself. You've shown too much passion and love on here for the Lord and for all of us when we've had a need, for you to be lacking in the other emotions.

I pray you never have to experience anything bad, that will unfortunately, show you how wrong you are!

[KeilanS]

I haven't actually experienced anything personally traumatic Scarlet. The event that brought this on is a friend of my mom's just passed and I am worried about telling me mom. I know my mom will be upset but I'm worried that I won't feel sad at all, and I'll feel heartless. And that made me think of how I might react if a family member passed away.

Thank you all for the posts, I appreciate it.

[ladypeartree]

Keilan you were not personnally involved with your mums friend and so it is not "hitting" you in the way that you expect it to . Your generation has seen so much violence and bloodshed on tv, films etc even on the computer that lots of feelings that we think we should have HAVE to be toned down or we would go mad.

EVERYONE deals in different ways. When my grandmother died I didnt cry for over 6 months ...not because I didnt love her but because that was the way I dealt with losing her ...I even made jokes at her funeral ...the whole family was laughing but it was NOT disrespect it was the way we coped...and she would have loved it ( when I go home I will haunt anyone who cries for me...I KNOW I am going to a better place so if you cry you are crying for yourself not for me or for anyone else who is saved )

When my son died I had so much to arrange and deal with and so many peole to help to deal with his death that I dont think I cried for several days and then only when I was awake through out the night. I was so aware that he DID know the Lord and he WAS saved that I cried for myself and my own loss and then felt guilty about doing so.

Who syas there is only one way to react to news ?...If I was in an emergancy situation I would so much rather have someone like you to rely on than someone who bursts into tears and has to be calmed before anything can be done.....WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT WAYS OF COPING AND DIFFERENT WAYS OF DEALING WITH NEWS ...if we didnt the world would collapse every time anyone was hurt physically or emotionally .

You are NOT lacking ...you are compassionate or you wouldnt worry about your reaction.......Use your calm manner as a gift from God to help others when they "fall to pieces"

[Northern lass]

From my observation, people develop emotionally at different times. One of my daughters, for example seemed to not feel very much as a child or teenager and admits as much. Now at 25 she says she is just beginning to understand how emotionally detached she used to be and how much she has changed. Then my husband became MUCH more in touch with his emotions after suffering from depression and recovering from it. I don't think you have ANY need to worry, Keilan. As others have pointed, we have seen and felt your heart of compassion in your posts.