mathqueen Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Quick background: my husband was in great shape and very healthy when we first met. After a couple of years into our marriage, he had gotten up to a very unhealthy 200 lbs (he's only 5'9''), and he has been on high blood pressure meds since he was 30. He lost about 25 lbs a few years ago and kept it off for the most part (although for his height that is still overweight), and recently has rededicated himself to working out 5-6 days a week and has lost about 7 lbs. He looks and feels fantastic. He has been through this cycle before, though, so it has been exciting to see him keep this up for the past few months. However, I just got off the phone with him, and he informed me he's not going to the gym today because he's too tired. He said he's been 3 times this week, so that's good (when a few weeks ago if he went less than 5 days he was disappointed). I didn't say anything (I try to keep from speaking anything negative in these situations), but I am SO disappointed and am thinking, "Here we go again. It lasted for a bit, and just like every other time, he can't stick with it. It'll never change, and he'll be overweight again shortly." I immediately went to the Lord in prayer and gave it over to Him. But I am so tired of this struggle. Any words of wisdom would be SO appreciated. mathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted September 9, 2007 I know you want him healthy, we all want the people we love healthy, but..............if he doesn't do it for himself, he will never stick with it, and it will never last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted September 9, 2007 I know you want him healthy, we all want the people we love healthy, but..............if he doesn't do it for himself, he will never stick with it, and it will never last. I know, and he's not doing it for me. At first I thought he just got motivated, and it was a direct answer to prayer. He then told me that the reason he started up was that an old classmate and track athlete challenged him and his best friend to a rematch of their past glory days (my husband was a HUGE track star in CA in high school and was highly recruited by universities). It was actually going to be a big event, with famous Olympic track stars involved. Then he got a phone call about a week ago that this guy now has an injury, so the challenge is now put off. I had no idea that that was his motivation until then. I just feel so...I don't know... like that. I guess I want help with how to let go of my need to control his decisions. I'm tired of feeling constant disappointment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InternalFlame Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 422 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/30/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/24/1985 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Dealing with weight problems is definitely an uphill struggle. It doesn't help that you have a day job and other things keeping you busy so that when you're done with all that you just feel like resting (with some rich fatty foods, which makes it worse) - and not exercising. The thing is, if you actually get to the exercising you feel better about yourself, and that you REALLY earned that rest. Try to remind him that he'll feel better if he exercises - exercising can re-energize you and relax you too. Don't push him too hard, but encourage him. Even join him! If someone exercises with someone they are ten times more likely to actually go. Remind him that he isn't alone in his efforts, and that you're proud of what he's done so far. Also try serving more healthy foods, non-saturated fats, and lots of fruits and veggies. A good diet along with exercise goes farther than exercise alone. The trend doesn't have to continue - it can be broken! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted September 9, 2007 I don't know what to say honey, sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted September 9, 2007 Don't push him too hard, but encourage him. Even join him! If someone exercises with someone they are ten times more likely to actually go. Remind him that he isn't alone in his efforts, and that you're proud of what he's done so far. Also try serving more healthy foods, non-saturated fats, and lots of fruits and veggies. A good diet along with exercise goes farther than exercise alone. The trend doesn't have to continue - it can be broken! I already do all of those things. I have always been an avid work-out girl and a healthy eater, and I go to the gym every morning at 4:30 before work. Our schedules are different, though, so going together is not doable. So what now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InternalFlame Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 422 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/30/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/24/1985 Share Posted September 9, 2007 I already do all of those things. I have always been an avid work-out girl and a healthy eater, and I go to the gym every morning at 4:30 before work. Our schedules are different, though, so going together is not doable. So what now? You said he lost interest when the challenge was gone? Try finding a way to challenge him again. Men love to compete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redefine_Me Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 543 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/15/1966 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Keep praying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted September 9, 2007 I already do all of those things. I have always been an avid work-out girl and a healthy eater, and I go to the gym every morning at 4:30 before work. Our schedules are different, though, so going together is not doable. So what now? You said he lost interest when the challenge was gone? Try finding a way to challenge him again. Men love to compete Not to sound like I'm shooting everything down, but I've tried that before. It still didn't last. What I would love is wisdom on how to change the way I think about this because I can't make him do anything. I have no control over his decisions in this area, and I am so sick of going through these emotions all the time. Understanding that truth is not helping me though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InternalFlame Posted September 9, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 422 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/30/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/24/1985 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Not to sound like I'm shooting everything down, but I've tried that before. It still didn't last. What I would love is wisdom on how to change the way I think about this because I can't make him do anything. I have no control over his decisions in this area, and I am so sick of going through these emotions all the time. Understanding that truth is not helping me though. Keep challenging him, make it continuous. There is no 'quick fix' for him, it has to take dedication, and it seems like he has trouble with that. So maybe what he needs is something more constant. Maybe he could find another guy buddy to work out with? Then they would compete with each other, and perhaps make it fun. The tough part about this is that there's no magic way to make yourself feel differently - your mind knows one thing but your heart feels another thing...that's just the way things work a lot of the time. You've made it clear how you feel to him - that you are concerned for his health, that you feel he should keep healthy...if he really cares about you and his own life he will make his best effort, and that is left completely up to him. There's nothing more that you can really do about it but pray for him. The best advice I can give you is to not dwell on it. Concentrate on God, and maybe the answer will come to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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