Jewish Guide to Shoveling Snow

[Guest shiloh357]

I thought this forum could use a little levity

A Jewish Guide to Shoveling Snow

Ariel Sharon - "The important thing is to shovel the entire width and

breadth of the driveway, regardless of what anyone else thinks."

Ehud Barak - "You must shovel most of the driveway, but the exact

dimensions of shoveling will be determined in discussions with our

neighbors. No, wait, you can shovel only in places where snow had previously

fallen, but you cannot shovel in places where no snow had fallen - wait, don't

do any shoveling until you hear from me!"

Yossi Sarid - "You should not shovel any part of the driveway, since

you really do not have any valid historical or legal claim to the driveway, and

it will soon be given back to its rightful owners.

Artscroll Hilchos Sheleg ("Laws Regarding Snow; Ashkenaz version,

chapter 5)- "First approach the snow with the proper kavanah, meditating on the

concept of snow removal. Recite the "...Who commanded us concerning the

shoveling of snow" benediction," then take three steps back, bend the knees slightly

with feet together, then look at the snow, lift shovel and dig, turning right and then

left, bend knees fully, take three steps forward and deposit snow deliberately.

Repeat until done, then recite the Sheheheyanu benediction, go indoors

and have a hot drink, remembering to say the Shehakol brocha (see Artscroll

Hilchos on Drinking Hot Liquids)..."

Tikkun Magazine - "What right do we have to violently take snow from

its rightful resting place? Snow has rights: each snowflake is a unique

individual, and we have absolutely no right to do anything with it. Let the snow

decide for itself what it wishes to do, and then if it wishes to be shoveled,

do so humanely.

Rashi - "Snow, this is a form of solid precipitation that clings to

one's beard if you remain outside too long in the winter season. (Old French: neige).

Shoveling is a Rabbinic precept, based on the verse in Isaiah 1:18-"If

your sins be like scarlet, they will turn as white as snows"

Birthright Israel - "It does not matter how the shoveling is done, but

the very act of a young Jew shoveling snow for ten consecutive days, under

proper supervision will have a lifelong impact on Jewish identity."

Meir Ben-Meir (Israeli Water Commissioner) - "Just shovel the snow as

fast as you can, and ship it here. We are running out of water fast! Is anyone

listening to me?"

Rabbi David Hartman - "Snow is a potent force in the world which unites

all Jews. It falls on us all, regardless of religious denomination and belief, and is

therefore instrumental in our understanding of Jewish unity and diversity. In fact,

just this week, I was explaining the significance of snow to the Prime

Minister, President Weizman, President Bush, and His Holiness the Pope, who had

asked my opinion."

The Late Lubavitcher Rebbe (from an epistle to a disciple) - "Shoveling

snow is a distraction from our efforts to bring Moshiach, may He come

soon, when in any case there will be no snow to shovel. So leave it and let

it melt. If the Messiah does not come by Shavuos, the snow will have miraculously

disappeared anyway."

[Guest idolsmasher]

I guess you have to be Jewish!!!! :oww: