grace222 Posted November 19, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted November 19, 2007 (edited) I know there is a passage in scripture that talks about "leaving your gifts at the altar" and going to your brother or sister for forgiveness/restoration. If your brother or sister has forgiven you but is holding you responsible for things, how can you get on with your life knowing this? I am referring to my brother in law that is holding me responsible for the following. He says he has forgiven me but says that "I" need to take responsbility for all of these faults and problems. 1) Because my husband and I had an ivf cycle, we disobeyed God and His words - "GOD WILL NEVER BLESS YOU WITH A BABY/CHILD. He says we were disobedient. He tells me that I am not a christian 2) I am responsible for my three brothers living overseas. I told them it was their sport that took them overseas. He told me that my presence drove them away. 3) That I am responsible for the not-so-close relationship between my mother and sister 4) My sister will never talk to me again, and if she does, our relationship will never be the same. 5) I disobeyed my husband because he wanted to live in the country but I thought it was pratical to live close by to his work, and be close to my mother who is not well 6) That I don't represent what a true woman should be!! 7) That I am responsible for my mother's anxiety/depression. I said that I want to make reconcilliation. He says they do not want to and that they have moved on with their lives. I told him I miss my sister and I am grieving deeply. I told him it feels like she has died. I don't think I will ever see her again. But what is truly hurting me - I don't want them to hold me accountable NO more for these false accusations. I need to be released because my mind is in turmoil and torment. I can't think, struggling to read my bible and pray, struggling to come to God, feeling that I am unworthy to be loved, feeling responsible for all bad that happens to my loved ones, feeling as though God is going to punish me severely. GRACE Edited November 19, 2007 by grace222 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tah Posted November 19, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted November 19, 2007 I am so sorry you are in such a struggle.. You are not going to keep your family from blaming you if that is what they want to do.. and you have already gone to them ... Pray for them...God can get through to them... What You can do is get on your face before the Lord and let it all flow onto His shoulders.. Let it go and let God speak to your heart how to respond to them.. God has the answer for you... He has the peace..trust Him... He has all you need to get through this .. Don't look at what you want seek what God wants for you... Let God show you where you can change your attitude ... if there is anything you need to repent of get it done and get on with Praising God in the middle of the lions den.... I am believing God will speak to you and show you all you need and if there is someone with wisdom for you they will bring it .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunterpoet Posted November 19, 2007 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 0 Topic Count: 128 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,704 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 25 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/29/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/08/1950 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Dearest Grace, I'm going to say some very harsh things about your brother in law. I hope you will forgive me if what I say offends you, but frankly I'm outraged. How dare this person say you are not a christian, can he see your heart????? From where I sit, he is in jepordy of commiting blasphemy, if not already. Based on the rest you have had to say concerning him...he is nothing more than a manipulating control freak. I don't know what an ivf cycle is, but how cruel and unjust, that he would infere that G-d will puish you in any fashion. How on earth does he know you were disobedient. Oh you just don't know how angry this has made me.....I wish I could speak with him man to man for just a moment or two. You don't worry about what some "other " man has to say about how much a women you are.....Your "man" is the sole judge of that. You be at peace now with yourself and G-ds Love and Grace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afal Posted November 19, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted November 19, 2007 Wow! Your brother-in-law is very heavy-handed in blaming you for all of these things. I also feel that while your b-i-l is pointing the finger of blame at you, there are three fingers pointing back at him!!!!! It is such a shame that he and your sister do not want a reconciliation as that is your desire. All I can suggest is that you pray about it, and forgive them for their nasty attitude. If your conscience is then clear before God, there is nothing more that you can do about changing their attitude other than pray, pray and more prayer!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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