grace222

Thanks for sharing your story and sorry you have gone through this. I see how much satan can deceive a person. I suspect my former husband may have a mental illness relating to substance abuse. I think he may have lead a double life as well and pretended to be a christian. It's so hard to say, God knows his heart. If I may ask, where are things for you now? Are you doing better?

Thanks for your comment. I tried so much to give him the attention that was needed. My mother also was visually impaired. There was also so much to do. I had helped taken care of his father in previous years and, at the time, I was caring for my mother, his younger brother was living with us (awaiting prison sentence). I was busy with him as well while he lived with us for six months. It was not easy. I feel perhaps I didn't encourage him enough or even spend enough time in prayer for him. That is something I could have done better!! I don't know if he is sociopath or narcissist although he does have those qualities, sadly. Yes, I agree with you, it's very demonic. Do you mean prescription medication? I am not sure but I suspect other substances he could be taking. I am not in his life, although I have this burden on my heart to pray for him. When I met him, he was a new believer in Christ, having overcome huge drug addictions. He had a powerful testimony and God brought him through and delivered him of these addictions. He went on to serve the Lord in various ministries. I guess he has turned his back on God. I just really don't want him to spend eternity in hell. I prayed for him before I even met him and I find I am doing that again. Thank you for your encouraging words. God bless.

Psalm 121 1I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

I was married for 18 years. I absolutely adored my husband. He was a christian and we were in fellowship attending church When he suddenly left me in 2016, (he literally walked out the door while I was attending to the laundry) I was bewildered and broken -hearted. He left me after my mother went to be with the Lord. When I needed him the most, he was gone. He became very strange and acting differently chasing women in other countries, having relationships with various ones and wanting to marry someone else. He took on a new identity, shaved his head, changed part of his first name(shortened it), drawn to another country/culture, took up musical instrument, etc. I was in so much shock and broken-hearted. I may not have been the perfect wife but I did love and care for him. He never wanted to talk about why he left me and told me to mind my own business. He became vicious and nasty and sold our home so he could fund his new adventures with travel and women, etc. It took me a year to forgive him and I fought and prayed for our marriage to be restored but he didn't want that and divorced me. I have a chronic illness and I had lost my mother prior to him leaving me; I had cared for her with dementia, even though she had gone into care. He did email me after separation and divorce, sometimes would send an email on our wedding Anniversary despite him married to someone else(he never told me he was married, i had heard he got married. He sometimes emails on my birthday. I don't really know who he is. I was living in our home(the one he sold) but became a tenant to the new owners. It was our home for 20 years and then I rented it. It was a big home with a big garden and lots to do to care for it. He also left a lot of his belongings behind. I don't live there anymore, I rent elsewhere but have never told him as I don't trust him. I am not sure who he is, despite knowing him for over 20 years of my life. He would still think I live in this big home with garden and tonnes of responsibilities and also my health conditions. As a christian, I wonder why he has no conviction or even care. Would he not stop to think, "I wonder how she is coping with the house, and all the responsibilities I left her with: I wonder how he could just walk away and not care, when I cared for him and his own family(his mother.father and siblings) I am perplexed by this Can anyone shed some light on this? I still care about him and continue to pray for him. I didn't have a bad marriage and always thought he loved me as I loved him. Apparently, I must have been deeply mistaken.

Thanks for yourr reply but was your Marriage worth fighting for? What were the biblical grounds for divorce? I would think your marriage is worth fighting for. I've been standing nearly 3year for mine. God bless! She has broken up with him three times and she gets angry with him.They cancelled the wedding for now.

She told me he has a mental illness but she wants him to come off the medication. She works full time and has a good job.Maybe she wants to take care of him but that is not a good reason for marrying. I agree. She is impulsive. In June 2018 she was wanting to be friends with my brother on Facebook and thought he would be suitable to marry. She will marry anyone it seems.

I agree.

She told me that the marriage was based on a lie..that his former wife left him and only married him for a visa. She is pushing him to divorce her. The man is 48 and doesn't have a job which is another concern. She pursued him.

I agree. When speaking with her friend, who is also a christian about it, the friend says it's wonderful as he is a lovely man.

I am concerned for a friend who started dating a man late July 2018. She did know of him in the church but didn't really know him. They went on one date. She messaged him on FB to ask him out for a date. They went on the date and the next day she contacted him. He was very hazy about the date as he takes medication for a mental illness. I encouraged her to take things slow, but in a few days, she phoned me to tell me they were getting married. I was stunned?? Both are christians but he is still legally married and filing for divorce now after his wife left him 12 months ago. Apparently, he discovered she married him for VISA only. He appears quite vunerable. My friend just wants to be married. Now they are organising a marriage on 1 December but he only just filing for divorce now. He hasn't even completed the paper work. She told me only family are invited to wedding. It's her 3rd wedding at age 42, her first marriage was at age 17 to a 50 year old man with her parents consent. I am finding it hard to be happy for her but another christian friend said, we should be happy for her as the man she is marrying is lovely. What do you think? God hates divorce but his wife did abandon him. But should they be dating while he is still legally married?

Firstlly, I want to say "I'm sorry". This post certainly warrants a lot of sympathy. I know how you are feeling as I suffer from IF(Infertility) myself. NO - YOU ARE NOT BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE!!! The very sad fact is this: A lot of Pastors/Minister are very inconsiderate and thoughtless and, so(sadly) are a lot of christians. I speak from MANY years of experience. You have my sympathy and Love. PM me if you would like to be steered into a Christian forum specifically for those who suffer from Inferility. You will find acceptance and Love, something which is very rare these days. Tonnes of hugs to you because I feel your pain.

My husband is involved in prison Ministry and we also sponsored a prisoner(weekends in our home). I don't know much about the crime of Molestation - my husband spent a short time in prison when he was young for some petty crimes. I would be sure that your husband is in protective custody so that no harm would come to him. I husband did visit with a paedophille(sp?) but was not there to judge or offer counsel - just show God's love. Your husband is loved by God and he made a mistake and now he has to serve a sentence. Prison is not a bad, scary place. The prisons I have visited inmates are friendly and open - bbq areas, that was minimum security(I am in Australia). Restoration can take place in prison. Your circumstances are very sad and I am not familiar with this type of sentence. I will pray for your husband and for your daughter and also for you my friend. Are you able to make contact with Prison Fellowship in your area? Try Googling Prison Ministry in your state/country. My thought and my prayers are with you. God offers total forgiveness and can restore lives. I've witnessed this in my husband's life and also a young prisoner whom we sponsored. God bless, praying

Thanks for your responses! Oh, this is very worrying! I'm so upset learning this news! I guess I should just pray for him. If he truly is the Lord's, He will come back to Him, I am sure! It is SO sad that a young person would depart from the teachings of christianity to follow this.

But can you still be a christian and a communist?

I have a young brother-in-law who turns 23 today. So I decided to send him a Happy birthday greeting in FACEBOOK. Under religious views he has noted: Viva la Communista I am just wondering what this might be. As far as I know he is or was a committed christian. I witnessed him being baptised in the church and giving his testimony. He is also (apparently) in a christian band. I am not sure if he attends church - I don't think so. He gave up his studies to join this band. I know he has a g/friend and he spends time at her place (sleeps over) I'm not judging him but I am concerned about him. Can anyone tell me if this means he follows Communism? My cousin was having a conversation with him once and I do remember him saying that he did support Adolf Hitler or something along those lines. I'm very concerned thanks!

Thanks for being so encouraging and uplifting in your responses. I hope I didn't upset any of you as I consider you all my dear friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. I spoke to my husband about it last night and he said that he has been encouragaged by our Pastor friend. So I am going to leave it at that. If he is encouraged then I should be happy. And as some of you have said...to ask God and pray about it. To which I am now doing.. thanks. You are all a blessing to me even if you don't necessarily agree with each other. blessings!!

Thanks for encouraging me. There has been several issues why we left the church. Nothing serious though..... My husband and I experienced some really painful years...... We were having treatment for our infertility and no one prayed, supported or encouraged us in the church. Even when we lost babies, there was no comfort or love.....No one understood our grief. We felt very alone and alienated. Then when our dearest friends got pregnant(we were very happy for them) we found it difficult to be surrounded by pregnancy talk. I guess some of you may think that we were being disobedient to God, but I believe the Lord used our absence from church as a time of healing..... There were many pregnancies at the time and much talk about fertility. No one seemed to talk about our pain of infertility. For now, we have both accepted our infertility(coming up 10 years now) and able to move on. So, yesterday, I was able to cuddle my friends little baby and feel no hurt or pain. Praise God!!!! It felt wonderful to touch this little child's soft face and hands and feel his warmth but it didn't hurt me. I feel so happy to be his christian Aunt(even if we are not blood related). Our pastor friend(who dosn't pastor a church) can be cold at times. I don't believe he is being entirely Godly because there is a lack of love. My husband lost his brother in a tragic accident (November 07) and NOT once has he wanted to talk about it or encourage him. I was raised attending a very legal church - the Exclusive Brethren so you can understand why I feel the hurt when someone is very legal and not showing much love. The Exclusive Brethren taught the men to "Lord it over their wives". This is not love. I don't want to ever go down the road my parents went of legality and suffering... Thanks for your encouaragement.

yes I have spoken to my husband. He told me that He is only trying to encourage us, but I feel as though it's always one-sided. My husband thinks the pastor can be a little bit legal, but I suppose, because he is receiving the encouragement, it dosn't really hurt him. I know that he wouldn't go alone(without me). We are fellowshipping back at church now , anyway, which is good. I know when the phone rings, (and it's our pastor friend) I have to be quiet because he will think (if he hears my voice) that I am not being submissive. I feel as though I always have to be obedient...

My husband and I have a pastor friend who we have known for many years. We have been encouraged by him and also discouraged by him,but we have remained friends. There has been a gap of about 2 years though, when he stopped contact with us. We have only just gotten in contact with him again(about 2 months) ago but it is only by telephone. He always encourages my husband, but rarely me. We have never been under his church at all(and he dosn't have a church at present). While he has been a friend, I have always felt as though he dosn't see me and my husband as "one". I know that he didn't believe we were ready for marriage (nearly 10 years ago) because he said this. He wouldn't come to our wedding because he didn't believe we were ready for marriage. Still, I tried to put these things aside and be his friend. But then, I overheard a conversation between him and my husband on the phone the other day because Loud speaker was on. I believe the Lord allowed me to hear this. My husband and I have been out of fellowship with our church for a while(but only just returned - praise God). He was trying to encourage my husband to maybe try another church. Pastor: "You need to step out and go try another church and if GRACE(ME) dosn't want to come along with you - then you go alone....Be like Pilgrims Progress. I was so hurt by the comment. I felt as though he was saying that I wasn't important and it was more important for my husband to find a spiritual home. This isn't the first time I've heard comments like this. This Pastor is in his late 40's and he has never been married. I wonder if he dosn't understand marriage. He was good friends with my Mother-in-Law and I know there were times when she would bad-mouth me to him. About five years ago, this Pastor encouraged my husband to take up scripture teaching(in schools) in his spare time. I also wanted to come along, but I could tell he wasn't happy with the idea. But I did help my husband eventually. Then one day I planned the lesson and my mother-in-law found out. She rang the pastor to tell him that was interferring in my husband's ministry. The Pastor contacted me and told me that I was out of line and that it was my husband's ministry. So, I have been hurt before. How do I deal with this? Is this pastor out of place? I think he dosn't understand the real meaning of submission - sometimes I feel as though he has tried to tell my husband that he always MUST lead and I must always follow. My husband and I have faced many struggles in our marriage - one of them being infertility and the loss of babies through miscarriage. I need my husband more than ever......if he was to leave me spiritually, it would devastate me. Feeling so hurt and tearful.

The Holy Spirit can prompt us to pray for someone - when that person comes to mind. Is your Counseller a christian? I pray that she or anyone else trick you into believing that you have pyschic abilities or anything like this. Pray to the Lord - ask Him what it is He is trying to show you? blessings!

I am reading a very good book at the moment by Dr Chuck Missler. He is talking about time and dimensions and how there is no time outside of our dimension and with God. For us, there is time and we eargerly await the Lord's return. But God has already set that day, planned it. He dosn't experience the time frame, like we do. I'm enjoying the book but finding it a little difficult to understand at times. It's good to read the interpretations of this scripture.

I'm presuming you were playing Christian music. I would say, "Hey - that's great, because I'm not Religious too! But, I tell you something very wonderful - I have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and I love to express that by listening to this type of music. I see it as a wonderful form of worshipping God! I would explain that having a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ has nothing to do with Religion. It's about a personal relationship. Then, I would apologise if it was too loud and say that I would turn it down, but then, probably take this opportunity to tell him/her about the Lord Jesus Christ. And pray, that one day, they will not only accept Christ but be playing this type of music too! praying for you!

Thanks David - I take this as Godly wisdom and Godly advice, thanks for reminding us of this.

Maybe she is a doting grandmother and always around her grandkids, and forgets when she's in the office, or maybe everyone in the office is acting like a child, so she's just treating them like one!! (only joking) Not quite sure, but I have a friend(who is 50) and she's like that too! She is a school teacher too(so maybe that's why!) She sounds a little querky to me. Hey - do you remember Cindy in the Brady Bunch when she had that lisp? The kids teased her at school and said this little jingle, "Baby talk, baby Talk - it's a wonder you can walk!!"

My husband and I are involved in prison sponsorship. We have sponsored a inmate from a prison and he spends weekend leave with us sometimes. It's a way of introducing him slowly back into the community and gives him a break from the prison walls! We have been doing this for nearly a year now. OK I will admit it hasn't been easy, but it's been a blessing too. We really like him and we are so happy that he is a christian. There were a few issues that we had to deal with in the beginning, when he was wanting his friends to come over to our place. We had to end up entertaining other people! So, we had to set some boundaries and put a stop to it! He still has to plan his weekend and give the prison some idea of his weekend plans. He is allowed a maximum of 3 hours out of the house! It's ok except that he plans the weekend how he wants it to be and what church he wants to go to! Ok. We have gone his way most of the time (out of love). Sometimes the hard part is not having him here - but the drive, which is a 3 hour drive from our place. So my husband comes home from work and we drive up to get him. For the past few times that we have had him here, he has wanted to go to his local church(which is near the prison itself). So, we have to get up extremely early Sunday mornings for the 3 hour drive. The service goes for about 2 hours or so. Then we drive him back to the prison and then home. It's a very draining weekend allround, because of that early start!! Now. the problem. My husband and I are very tired - especially my husband (who is a full-time truck driver). We have both not been very well, have had the flu just this week. I am also battling anemia and thyroid problems. We told our friend that, while we can continue to sponsor him we have to make a few changes now and then - he gets very upset. We told him we didn't want to take him to his local church, but have church here, where we are purely because of the long drive and very early start in the morning. He says he dosn't know if he can change his plans. Please don't think we don't like sponsoring him or having him here, it's just that we have to always do what he wants to do, otherwise he gets a bit of a grumpy attitude. Are we being unreasonable in feeling this way? Is this not doing God's will? Are our hearts selfish? Is it a matter of just continuing to give out of love and struggle at the same time? thanks.