Why am I so weak?

[Irenicus]

Hello all, just looking for a bit of advice or some words of wisdom I guess. This may be a bit long winded, but I need to get it off my chest and am earnestly seeking a way to break the cycle of my life. Basically, I have always known God. I was taught from a very young age that He is real and have never doubted, so for me there has been no "road to Damascus" conversion. I have never known life without Jesus as my Saviour. For the first 5 years of my life, I had an exceedingly close relationship with God. I had amazing dreams of Heaven, describing in vivid detail what it would be like to my family, describing it exactly as the bible says it will be and more. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that God was showing me these things, for what purpose I do not know. I used to minister to other children in our neighbourhood about the good news of Jesus when I was 3. Some in my family were convinced that I would be a prophet! This is obviously not to be, but it paints an apt picture of the incredible relationship I had with God. Then as I started going to school, I guess I became of the world and lost that childish innocence and the faith to move mountains that the Lord loves so dearly. I still believed, no doubt, but became much more worldly as we all do. For the last 10 years or so, as an adult I have had real problems staying committed to the path of the Lord. It seems that when everything in my life in going along well, I drift away and fall back into unrepentant sin. It builds and builds and so does the guilt and then BANG! Something terrible happens and I come crawling back. Then I rebuild my relationship with God and sure enough after a few months everything becomes comfortable and I fall back into the same patterns that I always do. Now, I know the scriptures well, and sometimes I feel this makes me worse than an unbeliever. I am not acting through ignorance. I know we all struggle with sin, but I almost embrace it. I feel incredibly weak and am simply not bearing fruit. I feel like I will end up as the withered fig tree, destined to never bear fruit. My seed has been cast among the thorns, and the pleasures and worries of this world choke me. What can I do to stop this cycle? I have recently returned to the flock, and do not want to fall away again as I always seem to. Part of the problem I guess is that I associate with too many ungodly people. I am easily led astray and give into my lusts. I should cut them off, but am afraid of being alone. I live away from my family, so don't really have anyone near me that is a believer that can help keep me strong. I have tried church a few times, but I am always disappointed at false teachings like prosperity and kingdom now kind of crap. It turns me off and I just walk away. I struggle not to give in to temptation for a while, and then let sin take over and I turn my back from God until the next disaster sends me crawling back, begging for mercy and forgiveness. I know what to do, and what not to do, but am too weak to resist. I try and rely on God to give me strength, but fail everytime. I am aware that it's my fault and not His, which invariably makes me feel even worse. I feel like God has given me much knowledge and many gifts and that I am squandering it all in a self-absorbed spiral of decadence. I have a real issue with lust. Most women seem to find me attractive, and are willing to sleep with me on the first night of meeting me and I usually give in. I then despise myself the next day for the weakness I display. I also have a problem saying no to drugs and alcohol. I still smoke Crystal Meth on occasion. Why won't the Lord give me the power to resist? Or is it that I am unwilling to let go of these earthly pleasures? Truly I know not. All I know is that I am weary of this cycle. Also, I have not been baptized. Do you think this could be part of the problem in holding back my regeneration? I can't seem to kill the old self and walk the path God wants me to. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading

[Christian]

Greetings my Brother in Christ,

Let me start by telling you that you are certainly not alone in this dilemma that you are experiencing. The youth of today is certainly under a heavy assault from the enemy of our Lord. Unlike previous generations, 'socialization' has become a rampant and morally corrupt orgy, with all visual and physical stimuli accepted as the modern 'culture'. It's not hard to understand the lust that men feel when one looks around at the over 'exposure' that surrounds us. It's all about sex and money to those who's minds have been darkened, and Satan has done his job well in distracting such a vast majority of God's children.

There is no magic bullet, no strategic plan that guarantees success allowing you to live in both worlds. There is only Christ, and Him crucified that will save you...and you know this. Worldly weakness is inevitable, and part of our 'trial by fire' if you will. God has no need to be concerned for those who 'behave', He is more interested in those who do not, and what they will do, and whether or not they will lean on Him to make the changes in their lives they need to make. A red flag for anyone in their relationship with Christ is to see how many times they say "I", when they speak about themselves, as opposed to "He".

You are fortunate to have been called by him at such an early age, you have a blessing cast upon you that many have not. You speak reverently of Him, and the Holy Spirit within you obviously keeps you concious of Him via your 'guilt' so take that into account. Brother we all go through 'wilderness' periods in our faith where He seperates us from the pack and isolates us to burn away some of our impurities. These are points when Bible study, prayer, and introspection can take us to a new mountaintop of our faith. You will not be 'alone' or not have 'anyone' should you seperate from these individuals, you will have Him...as it should be. Hanging out with those you know to jeopardize your health and faith is just simply not good practice (and Crystal Meth is just plain stupid), so you will need to make sacrifices to grow, and to grow up dude.

I know of someone who made the ultimate sacrifice and endured a bloody, horrific fate so that we were guaranteed access to the largest source of strength that exists. You were given access to that strength when you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, so stop believing that you cannot make the changes you need to, your only convincing yourself that Satan is stronger than Christ, and that's simply not the case. Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world...remember that.

I do not speak to you as some hypocrite, or holier than thou, self righteous zealot. I walked a much worse path than you friend as a professional musician of 25 years, and did things that would probably make you blush. But He is faithful to those who seek Him, and He never gave up on me for some reason, but it was because I took action on my part too. When I started making changes, He began reaching out to me as never before.

So I wish you strength Brother, and hope you will seek Him for the strength you need.

Stop living for this world for it is passing away, and it's sinful pleasures are a trap.

May His blessings find you and keep you,

in His service,

Christian

[Blien]

Have faith in God.

Hey Bro, I understand what you are going though. I've been there many many times and I've been off and on with this lust problem but I've been winning recently. First of all the first thing I want to tell you is that, GOD Loves you and as one of his children he wants you to succeed in all parts of your life. He wants His children to have the best of everything in life, a healthy living soul, a loving partner, a wonderful house, car, everything. (3 John1: 2) "Beloved, I pray above all things that you may prosper and be in good health, even as your soul prospers."

[Blien]

I almost forgot. Last year when I became born again, I became really lonley because all the sudden all my friends hated me or I wanted not to hangout with them so as to keep true to my commitment to christ. Well I was having a real hard time being alone and GOD knows that this is the most dangerous situation a new beliver can be in.

Well.. after a while I figured "why dont I just pray to God for some new friends?" and when I did, immediately before the week was over, I found worthy and made many friends and then after several more days, at the church I went to, I made 4 new friends who I could relate with. It was totally amazing! Have faith in GOD my friend, I will keep you in my prayers but seek his face and his kingdom, he's just waiting for you to let him move into your life and prosper you!

[Grace1479]

O my dear friend. I know how you feel. I'm a woman, but had nearly the same problem. I had a Jesebel spirit in me. I would go out of my way to make men fall for me and then I fall in my own trap. Thank God I was delivered from that, it nearly cost me my marriage. I say thanks to my heavenly Father for a husband like mine, who just keep on forgiving and taking me back.

God delivered me from this evil spirit, because it's nothing less than a bondage. I've been "clean" now for years, but still satan throws guild trips on me, which I stand firm against. Our enemy takes something that God gave us as a beautiful thing and turn it into something very ugly. Trust God for deliverance and go out of your way to withstand the attacks of satan. Everytime I wanted to do the same thing again, I told satan what he can do with that lusts. I told him that I was forgiven and I forgave myself for what I did to others and my hubby, even to myself. Remind the enemy who you are in Christ.

I will pray for you.

[Guest daretobelieve]

Hi Irenicus .... I think that Christian has just given you all that you need to know ..... Your love for Christ is obvious as are your struggles and just for the record I have my own struggles too and some you have listed in the OP ..... resist the devil and he will flee from you .... this scripture doesn't say he might flee it says he will flee ..... When you give an inch God increases it to a mile or two or even three but, we have to make the first move. God calls us to Him, He doesn't impose on us, it all comes back to good old free will .... The enemies attacks are hardest toward those he sees as his biggest threat .... The Holy Spirit is strong in you .... tap into God through prayer and worship ... ask Him .... whats going on? ...

James 1:5-8 If you need wisdom if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and He will gladly tell you and will not resent you for asking. But, when you ask him be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind, people like this should not expect to recieve any thing from the Lord. They can't make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything they do.

praying for you.

[terter]

Good advice already posted.

We have Christ Jesus as our model - when the enemy tried to tempt Him, He said "It is written..." So find some meaningful scriptures to you such as Phi 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Call on His strength (something I'm learning myself).

[kitty1]

I just wanted to say Thank you for sharing. I ask myself the samething all the time.

"Why am I so weak?"

When I first came here to Worthy I was lost, confused and broken, I believed I was Satan's joke.

My brother in Christ, Christian helped alot, I agree with everything he wrote you, so take the time and reread what he wrote, do not lose faith, keep your focus on the Lord and you WILL win the race, you WILL have victory.

[Trusting Jesus]

Wonderful advice! That's one of the blessings of Worthy -- wonderful Christian brothers and sisters. We all have struggles with sin, and the closer we are to God the stronger the enemy attacks become. Jesus Christ died to give you, me, and everyone the opportunity of eternal life. We still sin, but we have Christ's blood to cover us. Should we use that to gives us a "sin now repent later" attitude? No. But when our flesh is weak we still have the strength and forgiveness of Christ.

We all are in the world, but need to not become part of the world. How do we do that? Well, we need to study our Bibles. We need to pray. We need to be in fellowship with other Christians. Try to find a Christ centered, Bible believing church. It's easier to be weak when our only friendships are worldly people. We need the accountability of fellow Christians - and they need us, too.

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Nathele

[Irenicus]

Thank You all for your good advice and prayers. I really need to lean on the strength of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. I think sometimes I probably try and rely on my own strength (or lack thereof), rather than handing the burden over to Christ. Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" He is far more capable of dealing with these issues than I. I realise I need to cut my hand off, so to speak, and remove these things that cause me to sin from my life. I need to avoid putting myself in situations that I know are likely to tempt me to do evil. Usually I just charge in and worry about the consequences later.

Do I believe once saved, always saved?

Well, that's a tough one. I see both sides of the coin on that issue. I guess I would argue that you can't really lose your salvation. If you did lose it, did you really have it in the first place? God knows the beginning from the end, and the end from the beginning so surely He is aware of who will last the distance and fight the good fight. Anyway, I don't really want to get into a thing about it.

Thank you all for imparting some godly wisdom to a worldly fool.